And so...to the very last chapter. Its been emotional..

Naomi

Its been fucking surreal, these past two weeks. When we got back from the hospital, after the psychiatrist had prodded and poked my subconscious almost as much as his doctor friends had my body, Emily fussed over me like a mother hen. Don't get me wrong, just having her in my apartment was enough, having her in my life, in my bed, was like winning the lottery, and then finding out that they'd made a mistake, and actually you'd won the Euro lottery as well.

But I felt a fraud. Trying to off yourself is bad enough. It comes with its own guilt and post trauma depression. Just seeing my mothers face when I left her outside her house, after Ems had picked me up in a taxi from Frenchay was an object lesson in how you can affect other peoples lives in such an awful, shattering way. She seemed to have aged ten years since I last saw her, and that was down to me. No one else. I'd put my mum through some shit over the years, but even for me...suicide was a whole new low. I cried in the cab...I cried when Ems put me to bed with a hot chocolate...like I was 7 or something...and I cried when she eventually came to bed and snuggled up to me, like I hadn't splintered her heart along with my my mothers.

And I still had this big secret...didn't I?

We didn't make love for three days after I got home. Three days when I could have.. I wanted to.. She wanted to...but I couldn't. Not because my body wouldn't respond to having a naked Emily in my bed... Not because she didn't make it easy for me, with her shy smiles and gentle touches...but because all the time, the little voice inside my head was tormenting me...taunting me.

"You fucked her sister...You fucked her SISTER" it hissed, spitefully... as Emily laid beside me, breathing evenly, but obviously still awake.

"Are you OK baby?". she said that night "We don't have to... But I miss having you in my arms. Its OK.. I've forgiven you..there's no need to punish yourself any more. I love you Naomi"

That was the trouble though. She HAD forgiven me... But for shagging some random up against a club wall. Not for what I had actually done...screwing her twin sister...here...in my bed. She had forgiven me... But I wasn't even close to forgiving myself.

So I waited until the sexual tension was making us both short tempered and snappy. It was morning...about 10.30...and Emily had got up first to make us coffee and toast. It was sitting on the little blue breakfast tray she insisted on using, even though it barely had room on it for two cups and a plate. On the end of our bed...our bed...I rolled the thoughts round my head, like you do with a single malt in your mouth and then... she did it...She bent over in front of me, picking up a stray sock from last night. She was wearing a short yellow tee, with some band tour itinerary on the back. As it rode up, i saw that she was wearing a pair of tiny white cotton knickers. Nothing very stylish or deliberately sexy. But the fact that she'd bothered to wear them at all worried the fuck out of me. We had only shared a bed a few dozen times, but we'd never really gone for overdressing. Obviously, the majority of the times I'd got her into my bedroom, it was with the express intent of depriving her of her clothes and her inhibitions...in that order, and as quickly as possible. But it was weird that seeing her dressed properly for bed...like with underwear and everything...got to me so easily. I realised that I wasn't just punishing myself by not having sex with her...i was punishing her too. And the one thing Emily Fitch did not deserve was more punishment.

When she had tossed the sock into the linen basket, straightened up and turned to me with that bright, hopeful smile which lit up my life every fucking time I saw it...I had already moved to sit on the edge of the bed.

Her eyes registered surprise at my sudden movement, and I took a moment to drink in the sight of a tousled, doe eyed Emily, just before I reached for her with both hands.

"I'm crazy about you, Emily" I said croakily...my voice breaking at the emotions which were rushing through my mind like an amphetamine buzz.

"Likewise Naomi" she said huskily...with that 40 a day throat which had never seen a cigarette unless it had a roach attached.

"Don't forget it though?" I muttered, and her eyes narrowed for a second before resuming their open, soulful look. She shook her head quickly and the movement made her pert breasts move under the loose over sized tee. My mouth suddenly dried up completely, and I knew I would have to show her what I was feeling. Words wouldn't come any more.

"Come here, Emily Fitch" I growled...and thank God that was enough...there wasn't enough spit in my mouth for a single extra word.

She moved to straddle me, her legs either side of mine. I grabbed the cheeks of her perfect arse and kissed her lips hard. Soft lips, smooth tongue and tiny sounds at the back of her throat rewarded me. The kiss went on and on. Her hands on the back of my head, my hair bunched in her fists. I heard moaning, and realised it was me all along. Soon, sheer oxygen deficiency made us pull our lips apart. I stared into her wide eyes...her pupils huge with want.

"I love you...more than i can ever say" she breathed..."Make love to me Naomi?"

The hesitation and self loathing left me then...not for good... Not even for a day...but for this moment, and the 30 glorious moments that followed, they disappeared.

I let my body fall backwards, and pulled her with me. Her tee was pulled up over her head, a movement that made her hair even messier, and rendered her even more gorgeous in my admittedly biased eyes.. Her small, but beautiful tits bounced again, nipples already peaked and excited. Suddenly there was moisture in my mouth...just not for talking. I pulled her to me hungrily, my body half upright, and sucked an erect tip inside my mouth. She growled then...a sound which reverberated through our bodies and ended up settling right between my legs.

She let me suck and tease her nipples in turn before pulling my head away and staring at me with an unreadable expression on her face.

"I want to...I've fucking got to... touch you..." She whispered, but I shook my head at her impatience.

"I have to do this...for you Emily...please?" I begged with my mouth and my eyes " Please...just let me love you...then you can do whatever the hell you like to me...anything at all..."

Her face lost the puzzled expression it had worn for a second, and I saw understanding in them dawn.

"Oh...OK Naoms..." she breathed..."I can wait...take me, then?"

If there is a more erotic phrase in the English language...I've never heard it.

I spun her round so she was underneath me. Her hair splayed out on the crumpled duvet and her eyes held mine as I reached down and dragged my own tee over my head. Her mouth went into the little 'o' it always did when I was naked with her. Like she'd woken up on Christmas morning, and Santa was still there..dropping off endless presents.

I took her hands in mine and briefly held them against my tits. I felt her squeeze gently, and an unbidden moan escaped my mouth.

"They're all yours...Emily Fitch" I said seriously "No one else will ever touch me like this again"

"Never is a long time" she said quietly, and I felt the sting of guilt all over again at the fact that she didn't feel able to trust me completely.

"I promise Emily" I said, with all the sincerity I could put into a sentence.

"K" she whispered, her hands still where I'd put them.

I pulled them free and kissed all her fingertips in turn.

"You are so special to me...so fucking special" I said hoarsely "Let me show you...?"

When my mouth covered hers, she whimpered into it...I didn't know if it was with surrender or despair.

I moved round her face in tiny butterfly kisses. Her eyes stayed closed, and I hoped it was because she was overwhelmed, not trying to avoid my eyes. As I reached that place just below her chin, which had always proved to be her most erogenous spot, her mouth opened in a sigh and her hips moved against me. My left hand was holding me just off her body, braced against the brass frame of the bedhead, and I started to use my tongue as well as my lips to tease her skin. I could see the little frowns and twists of her mouth, as she gave into the sensations my touch was producing in her body.

I started to touch her nipples with the very tip of my tongue and she hissed in pleasure. When I finally sucked a small brown bud into my mouth and increased the suction, she moaned out loud for the first time in what seemed years.

I moved onto the other one, watching her hands bunch in the duvet...her fingers moving quickly back and forth. By the time I was trailing my tongue lightly down her flat stomach, seeing the small movement of the muscles under the silky texture of her skin, her hips were rolling, and her head was back.

I took my time, kissing with open lips her legs, slowly upward from her smooth calves, along the incredibly soft skin of her inner thigh, until she was spread wide below me, undulating her lower body. I could feel the heat of her excitement against my cheek as I concentrated on that spot where her thigh met her body, sucking hard. She moaned loudly in frustration, and her hands left the duvet and scrabbled in my hair, trying to force my mouth against the place she was so desperate to have it.

I teased some more, pulling a pillow from beside her head and tucking it under her hips. Now she was perfectly placed. I'd gone down on dozens of women before...many of them in this bed, in this exact position, but I wanted this time...this woman... to get all the benefit of my experience, without the casual, dismissive ending I had given the others. This was Emily... MY Emily... And this time above all others, it had to be perfect... the performance of my life.

I reached under her with both hands and grasped her hips firmly...When I leaned forwards and blew on her gently, she shuddered. When I tilted my head sideways, so that I could run my tongue slowly up and down the length of her already wet folds, she moaned...when I trilled my tongue at the top, teasing her small clit from inside its hood, she pulled my hair painfully. I felt the heat between my own legs match hers as i built up a steady rhythm, pausing every now and then to thrust my stiff tongue as deep inside her heat as i could.

Her hips were now rocking continuously, and her breathy moans becoming more uncontrolled. My hands grasped her harder as she bucked and writhed beneath me. Soon enough, she was ready for more penetration, more sensation...and I gave it to her. I slid one, then two straight fingers sideways, then upwards into the slick heat where my tongue was lapping and twirling...She groaned at the extra sensory overload. After another minute of counterpoint thrusting and licking, her head was thrashing from side to side, and the normally demure language of my lover had reduced to guttural cries for me to "fuck me..baby fuck me..."

So I did. The time for finesse was past...all she needed...all she craved now was deep penetration and a sustained assault on that tiny bundle of nerves my tongue was circling. I'd never given Emily three fingers before... but I did now. Carefully at first, but when she shrieked "Oh, fucking GOD, Naomi...YES!" I reckoned she was ready for them...right up to the knuckle.

I increased my pace until the muscles in my wrist burned. But I ignored the pain and curled my fingers back on every reverse stroke, rubbing hard against her G spot. There were no more words from my lover. Just high pitched groans and frantic breathing. I couldn't see, but I knew that her toes would literally be curling right about now. As her body arched upwards on the bed, straining to get more tongue...more fingers inside her...I hummed against her throbbing clit. It was the final crescendo of my oral concerto.

She actually screamed...loud and helpless, as her orgasm shook and battered her. By now, the roots of my hair were screaming too, but I didn't care. This wasn't just an experience for her...it was one for me too. I rode her climax with her, down through the tremors, the aftershocks and the shudders. In the end, it was just me lying between her trembling legs, crying softly onto her heated skin. She pulled me up to face her, my lips still wet with the taste of her, and she used the last of her strength to turn my weeping face to hers.

"That was...I mean...you are..." She whispered shakily. "And why are you crying baby?"

"Because..." I said quietly " I'm nothing,... Not without you...that was for you...but it was for me too. I needed to show you that... I'm so very sorry about what I did"

"Shhh" she said, putting a slim finger on my lips "No more words Naomi...that was the most incredible thing I have ever experienced...in fact" and she grinned at me ruefully " I think you may have actually broken my vagina"

I smiled at her expression, and kissed her gently. Now I had done what I set out to do, I felt a little better...not good, but better.

"Sleep now baby" I whispered as her eyelids drooped " I haven't broken it...I've just claimed it...you're mine Emily Fitch"

Her last slurred words, before she slept, echoed in my brain like a hand grenade going off.

"Now its OK...Naoms...now I've got you back properly"

If only it was that simple, I thought. If only I could forgive myself as easily as you have...

But I tried...for the next couple of weeks. We made love...she came, easily and without embarrassment when I took her. She made love to me...and I relearned how to fake it. I couldn't let myself go completely... The way she needed me to. The way I needed me to. I just felt so fake all over. It was like Katie was physically laying between us. Sometimes, as I slid down Emily's body, kissing my way to the place she endlessly craved me being, I would remember another smooth stomach...another pair of scrabbling hands in my hair...another less husky voice urging me on...telling me to make her come. It was killing me.

In the end, I found myself making excuses to go to bed later and later...so she would be asleep when I got there. I started to get sad, worried looks at the breakfast table. Our new found happiness was unraveling fast.

Two days ago, I even got a call from Katie. I didn't even know she had my number.

"Sort your shit out, bitch" was her opening line.

"Great to hear from you too Katie" I said, with as much sarcasm as my tired mind could muster.

"I said sort yourself out bitch" she repeated harshly " Its bad enough I have to watch my fucking sister go through this all once...I'm not doing it all over again. You fucked up, she forgave you...the rest of it, you'll have to live with. Deal with it Campbell, or fuck off for good"

My next words were drowned out by the busy tone. She'd gone. Great...Katie Fucking Fitch...last of the great conversationalists.

But I couldn't live with it...that was the point. Emily was so sweet, so trusting...so fucking...giving. It was tearing me apart.

And then, last night. She came home with a determined look on her face. She p!onked two Tesco bags on the kitchen table and looked at me as I sat there, nursing my tenth cup of coffee for the day.

"You need to stop this Naomi" she said briskly " I'm getting fed up watching you punish yourself. I want you to go out tonight"

I looked at her, genuine puzzlement on my face.

"Go out?" I said stupidly..."Where...I mean why...and without you?"

"Yes Naomi" she said firmly "Definitely without me. Katie is coming over to have dinner here, and we need some twin time. Its been too long. Get yourself dressed up a bit, go down to that bar you used to go to, and have a few drinks...loosen up, and get over this mood you've been in for weeks. I've tried being patient... But you're wallowing in self pity...and its not attractive"

My eyes must have shown my shock and dismay at her words, because her expression softened a bit, and she smiled sweetly before continuing.

"Look babe" she said quietly "This is doing neither of us any good. Go out on your own for a night...meet some friends, drink some wine, have a laugh...just be yourself for an evening. Then come home when Katies gone...and we can talk, OK?"

I just nodded...well there wasn't much I could say, really. I had no wish to spend a no doubt excruciating night book-ended by the Fitch twins (both of whom i have shagged, my inner voice hissed gleefully) So I went into our bedroom, showered in the en-suite, while Ems fussed about in the kitchen, cooking for her dinner date with Cruella. Then I put on my LBD and did my hair and makeup. Despite the fact that id been press-ganged into going out, when I looked into the mirror for the last time before going into the kitchen to say goodbye, I realised I still scrubbed up OK...despite my previous attempts to turn into a frump.

"Wow" Emily said as I emerged " I'm having second thoughts now. Keep away from random hot dykes hun...you look too good"

I think she realised, as soon as the words were out of her mouth how that sounded to me.

"I wouldn't...I mean you know I'd never...?" I started to bluster

"NO!" She said quickly "I'm so sorry babe...I never meant that...I trust you...its just that you look so fucking,..hot..."

I smirked at that.

"Sure you wouldn't rather dump Katie and come with me?" I pleaded

"Nope" she said definitely, "have you any idea how mad Katie can get when her appetite is left unsatisfied?"

Unfortunately for me...those words held entirely different connotations to the ones Emily intended.

"Err...right" I mumbled " Well...OK...that's me then, I'll be back before midnight. Cal me if Katie goes earlier...I don't mind coming ho..."

"Get out that door Campbell" she interrupted... "You look far too tempting in that dress...I'll only end up burning the food"

I left her with a cheery wave I certainly didn't feel. The walk to 'my 'bar was only a few minutes, but it felt longer. I walked in without any of the manufactured bravado I had worn before. Before...ah yes...it was funny how my life had fractured into two halves, like a calving iceberg. There was before Emily...and there was after Emily...and it felt like two complete lives, lived separately. Before... I was strong, independent, sarcastic and confident. After?... I was nervous, dependent and unsure. But you know what? I wouldn't swap a single hair on her sweet head for the old me. Coming here, now, felt like I was visiting a place I lived years ago. I recognized all the landmarks, but it felt as unlike home as the back streets of Bogota.

I sat at the bar, after doing the catwalk in front of a couple of diesel dykes in the corner and a single older woman at the other end, and ordered myself a Bloody Mary. I don't even like vodka much, but it suited my mood. Bloody. The tang of tomato and Tabasco at least woke up my jaded taste buds, and one drink soon turned into a double. I chatted easily enough with the normal bar girl. She was still interested in getting a replay of our brief stand up gig behind the beer crates all those months ago...I wasn't. I was polite, friendly, but totally uninterested, and she got the message quickly enough, and drifted away to talk to the two other females who had walked in after me. Despite what I'd told Emily, I hadn't called any of my friends to meet me there. To tell the truth, I don't have many real friends. Effy was still in the honeymoon stage of her relationship with Sam, and in any case, I still wasn't certain she had completely forgiven me for cheating on Emily with Katie. So here I was. Naomi Campbell, lesbian spinster of this parish...set for a fun filled night on my own in a gay bar...with my newly restored girlfriend having dinner and a cosy chat with her sister...the sister I'd gone down on not many nights ago. I wasn't exactly having fun.

Except an hour or so after I got there...and had just got back from a quick trip to the loo to have a pee and touch up my lipstick...I got a tap on the shoulder. It was a petite, sweet faced redhead...all shy smiles and big eyes.

No...not the love of my life...not the woman I hoped would even now be thinking about me while her sister gave her the full run down on the X Factor...not that one. No, this one was memorable for all sorts of different reasons. Most of them naked and involving strap on accessories. Jessica.

I stared at her for a second, before returning her smile.

"Hey you" she said brightly "It's Naomi...right?"

I nodded silently. Oh fuck...My mind was replaying the last time I saw her... like a porno loop. Jessica screaming my name as I went down on her...Jessica bouncing on that oversized strap on, kicking into me like a naked cowgirl. Jessica underneath me as I rode her face to a very satisfying orgasm...that fucking Jessica.

Beam me up Scottie...

She smiled again...and was obviously playing the same mental loop as me.

"You look good enough to eat, Naomi" she growled " And if i remember right...you're a meal fit for a Queen"

"Kill me now" I pleaded to whichever God was on duty tonight. Jessica...Jessica with the schoolgirl face and body...and the appetites of Messalina. I'm cooked.

"Err...Hi Jess" I said, trying to keep my face neutral. "Hows it going. With anyone tonight?"

I know I was clutching at straws, but I hoped to heaven she had another willing victim in tow. It would save me having to squirm quite so embarrassingly before making a run for it. Because that's what I was gonna do. Not a single bone in my body, or nerve ending wanted to risk losing Emily again.

"No" she grinned brightly " I'm all on my own tonight, you lucky girl...how about you?"

I cleared my throat and started to answer Jessica. A polite thanks, but no thanks should do it, no?

"She's busy" The words coming over my shoulder stunned me. I recognized the voice instantly. My head went round so fast, I heard a sinew in my neck twang.

"Emily?" I said dumbly..." But you're...and Katie...I mean..." I seemed unable to string a coherent sentence together.

"She's busy honey" Emily repeated to Jessica " And I plan on keeping her that way for the next 25 years...at least" She chuckled deep in her throat at my goggling eyes. It wasn't just her voice and presence that stunned me. It was my Emily OK...but not dressed like my Emily.

She had that cute little purple raincoat on...it was cold outside...but it was unbuttoned...and as she shrugged it off her shoulders, she revealed an outfit I'd never seen before. The top was a tight black tube, cut low to show off the creamy mounds of her tits, which looked like they were getting plenty of help from the under-wired bra beneath. Her waist was naked, and her skin glowed beautifully in the half light of the bar. The skirt she was wearing was leather, shiny...and about the shortest thing I had ever seen anyone wearing outside a porn shoot. It was so brief, it definitely qualified as a belt. When she reached up to stroke my face, I caught a glimpse of sheer black knickers under it. My throat tightened as I saw how tight they actually were...was that just a crease in the material...or could I actually make out her...Oh fuck, it was, and I could. Suddenly I got a singing in my ears, as if I had been boxed on them.

And the piece de resistance was the boots. Knee high, and matching the skirt in shiny black leather. She looked as though she had just popped out of the local bordello for a break. Every eye in the fucking room was locked on to her body. Including the stunned Jessica...who had obviously realised by now that she was out-thought, and definitely outgunned tonight. I hardly heard her muttered excuse before she slipped away and left me and Emily alone at the bar.

"Buy me a drink, beautiful?" She smirked..."before someone else does?"

I recovered my senses, if not my power of speech long enough to get the bar girls attention.

"Vodka?" I croaked

"Yep...neat and with plenty of ice" Emily said huskily. "But lets not stay for more than one babe...I don't want this outfit to go to waste...I have plans for you"

I may have necked a large vodka quicker in my life, but I don't really remember when. In thirty seconds, we were leaving. Emily made an exit similar to her entry...with every eye in the place slavering over her. Mine included.

When we got outside, I regained the power of speech.

"Emily?" I said "seriously...what the actual fuck?"

"I told you I have plans for you babe..." She winked "So we can stand on the pavement, debating my frankly delicious offer...or you can come back to ours (and how my heart leapt at that word) and you can show me...several times...how much you appreciate the effort I've put in"

I didn't need any more encouragement. I grabbed her arm and virtually frogmarched her to my ...no scratch that...our apartment. The only words I spoke on the way were quizzical.

"Only 25 years?" I smirked, remembering what she'd said to Jessica.

"Well..." She laughed "It wasn't meant literally...a girl has to eat sometime, you know?"

" I don't think you'll ever go hungry " I grinned wolfishly "I can put on a feast for you anytime you like!"

Her answering smirk told me everything I needed to know about Emily's opinion on my offer.

When we got back to the apartment, there was no sign of any sisterly presence, now or earlier. So the Katie visit was just a ruse to get me out of the place while Emily prepared her surprise. And seeing her dressed as my personal whore was only part of the surprise

She led me into our bedroom and when I got in there, I stood in shock at what was inside. The lights were off, but all around the room, on every flat surface, small scented tea lights burned. The flickering yellow glow suffused the whole bedroom with candlelight. The bed had a new, black silk duvet cover and pillowcases on it. And hanging from each corner of the bed were pink fur lined handcuffs. Proper handcuffs...not those joke ones you can tear free of in a second. These beauties gleamed purposefully...meant to stop movement...whoever they had in their grip. Emily smiled at my nervous expression and kissed me gently on the neck as she reached for the zip on the back of my dress.

"Do you trust me Naomi?" She breathed, and I nodded immediately . I did trust her... Without reservation.

She stripped me naked, with just a few light kisses and touches on my body as she did. Just enough to heighten my arousal, but not enough...not nearly enough to satisfy it.

I found myself mutely accepting her instructions, both verbal and physical. I had a small moment of panic when the ankle cuffs snapped shut. Now I was spreadeagled on my back...helpless...vulnerable. I'd never allowed myself to let anyone...ever..do this to me. Not even in my wilder, experimental days, when Effy and I were laying waste to the teenage population of Bristol.

"Comfortable?" Emily smirked cheekily, as she took off her boots and top, leaving herself in just the tiny skirt, bra and knickers.

"As much as I can be..." I answered "for someone who is totally unable to move"

"Oh...you'll be able to move lover" she smiled..."at least...all the bits you need to move"

My mouth dried up even more at that. Oh God, I thought, shes planned this out to the last detail. She's literally going to fuck me to death. Its strange how that prospect didn't frighten me more than it did.

But what she said next did.

She crouched over me, knees either side of my waist...and asked me again.

"Do you trust me Naomi?"

I nodded again " With my life Emily...I love you totally and completely"

"Good" she said seriously..." Because this is going to come as a shock to you"

I looked up into her big brown eyes quizzically

"What?" I said.

She leaned even closer, putting her mouth next to my ear.

"I know" she said simply

"Know what?" I said, knowing exactly what she meant, even as I asked.

"I know Naomi" she repeated "I'm never gonna mention it after tonight...and neither are you...but I know...OK?"

And of course...I knew what she knew...but I had to ask, didn't I? It could mean she knew the meaning of life, the universe and everything (the answer is 42...and shame on you if you can't reference that) It could mean she knew this weeks lottery winning numbers... but I didn't think it was either. She knew about me and Katie...but how?

The cold knot in my stomach was only slightly outdone in the unpleasantness stakes by the clammy sweat on my skin. If she knew...was this all an elaborate charade, prior to dumping me...with humiliation thrown in for kicks?

"How?" I said, not really thinking she would answer that. Its not as if i was in any position to argue, was it? Stark naked, handcuffed at both ends...

"Katie and I have been together all our lives, Naomi" she said patiently " We're twins, for Gods sake...we know each other inside out. When something big like this happens...when one of us has a guilty secret...the other one knows. If you and I are going to make a go of this honey...you're gonna have to accept that there are NO secrets between me and my twin...and that includes you screwing my big sister after we have a big argument. She didn't tell me straight out...but I got it out of her. Right about the time you were trying to take over the flower concession in Bristol"

I swallowed thickly. I don't think...no...I know I've never felt more vulnerable in my life. She had me where she wanted me. If she wanted to open the bedroom door, and let in the massed bands of the Coldstream Guards, erections in hand, ready to shag me senseless to the tune of 'Land of Hope and Glory' I'd just have to lay here and think of England.

"But I don't want to talk about that babe" she said, smiling gently down at me, as I laid there, fear and confusion written all over my face. "I said its forgiven...YOU are forgiven...so lets get on with tonight's entertainment, shall we?"

She leaned over the side of the bed, and pulled something black and soft from the bedside cabinet. Next thing, I felt her pressing it over my eyes. It was a fucking blindfold...it felt like velvet or something similar. Now I was sightless as well as helpless. She moved back and whispered seductively in my ear.

"I knew you'd run...you see...if I'd told you I knew. I knew you'd find some excuse to beat yourself up even more than you have already.. So this is to make sure you know you can trust me...even when you're at your weakest. Even when you think you've done something so terrible, I'll never forgive you...because I can forgive... and I can also do...this"

Her mouth closed over mine, and stifled the first whimper I made that night. It wasn't the last. She moved methodically over my body. Sucking, licking, nipping gently, until I was a gasping, shuddering wreck. The fact that I couldn't see her, or touch her while she played with my body was exquisite torture. I was used to being in control, being the top...being the aggressor in bed. She drove that completely out of me that night. I finally understood that I was a natural bottom, and that Emily Fitch...the shy, compliant little housewife who only thought she was gay in between pity shags...was a sexual powder keg...just waiting for the fuse to be lit. And it looked like I was the one with the burning match in my hand.

She didn't do anything to me that night which I hadn't had done before, with one sexual deviant or other, but she did it so well, so fucking perfectly, I would never be able to contemplate sex with anyone else again. Which was kind of the point, of course.

By the time she had put down the last candle, and the wax was cooling on my nipples, by the time she pulled the buzzing dildo out of me and kissed me gently as I shook and shuddered my way down the back slope of a third shattering orgasm, I was like jelly. But aching wrists and ankles apart, I don't think I could have got off the bed, let alone made a run for it. She was right about an awful lot of things that night...but the thing she was most right about was that I needed to stop running. Running from my feelings, running from commitment, running from myself...but most of all, running from Emily.

She undid the cuffs carefully, massaging my wrists, before moving down to free my legs. She cuddled into my side, kissing my shoulder and stroking my face.

"Now you're mine" she said in a hushed voice " Now I've really made you mine Naomi Campbell. Never leave me again, OK?"

I nodded weakly...my body felt almost weightless, like I could float away if she didn't hang on to me...which, in a way, was true, wasn't it?