Connections

Chapter Ten

When Trip climbed into the Shuttlepod he barely noticed the other occupants, the only one he saw was T'Pol. She was helping Travis, the pilot for the mission, with the pre-flight checks and while he smiled a greeting at Trip, T'Pol did not even look up from her work. Trip realised instantly that she was not about to publicly acknowledge that anything had changed between them. However illogical it was, he knew that he still would have gratefully accepted the smallest of signals: a glance, a single word, any indication that she was pleased to see him. As he took his seat at the back of the pod, the optimism he had felt on waking this morning drained away in the face of her frosty indifference. Trip groaned inwardly as he wondered exactly how they were supposed to work together if T'Pol kept this up when they were alone.

Travis and the two other occupants, MACO corporals, McKenzie and Pearson, were on a day's planet leave. They were all loudly discussing how best to tackle cliffs Travis had clocked on an earlier mission as well as sharing previous climbing experiences. T'Pol had chosen to sit across from Trip but she was studying the data Rostov had collected on the alien object with an admirable intensity completely ignoring the fact that he was less then a metre away. Trip crossed his arms over his chest in frustration and stared out of the viewing port, his mind firmly on the puzzle that was T'Pol.

He focused on her behaviour on the night they had made love. He had never in his wildest dreams thought it possible that she could be attracted to him. However that night there was no doubt that T'Pol had come on to him. It was T'Pol who instigated and pursued the flirtatious conversation which ended with a kiss. And the taste of her, the heat of their passionate coming together was still vividly etched in his mind. But in the silent aftermath while she'd briefly lain in his arms and as the heat that had burned within her cooled he witnessed her start to close off from him. Then when T'Pol abruptly moved away he knew that she had needed to put physical distance between them. She had turned her back on him while she hurriedly covered her body and he was lost for what he could do or say to bring her back to him. Trip had decided that she must want him to leave and this was confirmed when he saw her open relief when he complied. It felt like he was being dismissed after serving his purpose. Their conversation the next morning had reinforced his belief that he had been used when T'Pol thanked him for assisting her in an exploration of human sexual relations. The comparison that he was simply a lab-rat continued to irk him.

And there was T'Pol, the wondrous Vulcan who was currently doing her best to pretend he didn't exist, although they were sitting in close proximity to each other. Trip shot an angry glance at the top of her bowed head. And that was his undoing as he couldn't seem to stay angry with T'Pol with his heart skipping to its own beat.

Travis left them and a container holding their equipment and supplies on open ground just beyond the settlement. Without bothering to check with T'Pol, Trip quickly pulled out one of the handles and lifted the container up behind him. Without a word T'Pol moved to take the other end and they started to make their way towards the large warehouse that housed the object they were to investigate. Trip was beginning to find the silent treatment he was getting extremely irritating. He'd looked forward to the promise of spending time alone with her only to be treated to an uncomfortable tension between them.

They were almost at their destination and there still had not been a single word spoken. Trip adjusted his grasp on the handle to try and relieve his aching arms which caused it to tip back toward T'Pol. Suddenly the container was slammed into his lower back which knocked Trip forward wrenching the handle from his grasp. As his end of the container thudded to the ground, Trip whirled round angrily to confront T'Pol. She continued to lower the container carefully to the ground and then straightened to face him.

"Did you do that on purpose?" Trip demanded as he rocked on his feet, twisting his torso and lifting and stretching his arms to relieve the discomfort.

"I stumbled when you lifted the container without warning. I apologise for hurting you, but it was by accident."

Trip was not going to let T'Pol away with apologising while also seeming to blame for his own physical pain, "You started the not speaking thing; I was just doing as I was told!"

"I did not say that we were not to communicate, I only asked to be given time to consider our relationship."

Always so calm, so infuriatingly logical, T'Pol's perfectly normal manner was really getting to Trip and he couldn't hold back on a childish retort, "You made it very clear you didn't want to communicate with me!"

Frustrated and angry he glared at T'Pol. His physical pain overtaken by the mental torment of being within touching distance of the person he adored completely while a maddeningly unbridgeable chasm seemed to exist between them.

He saw T'Pol lower her eyes as though she was unable to face his emotional intensity a moment longer. Her voice was as measured as before, only now her tone was much softer. He had to concentrate to take in what she said.

"I admit I was uncomfortable about having to work with you. I did consider asking Captain Archer if I could remain on Enterprise. However I decided that . . . regardless of my deliberations . . . we still have to be able to work together…"

Without thinking Trip had taken a step towards T'Pol as if he was trying to close the distance between them and make her look at him again. Her immediate reaction was to back away her face now resolutely lowered away from him. Something broke within him at that point. He felt only deep despair and defeat, "You've already made up your mind. There's no way you're going to give us a chance."

She looked at him then and for an instant was unmasked. Trip saw the fear and confusion in her eyes. Then he realised that with every word he was pushing her further from him. He remembered Phlox's words of caution and he tried to calm the situation. "Look, I'm not going to make things difficult for you. Whatever happens I'll find a way to deal with this bond thing."

This might have worked if Trip hadn't read a look of disbelief in her face and with his emotions already on a knife's edge he blurted out, "Just be honest, T'Pol!"

She moved past him to stand at the edge of a ridge that surrounded the industrial area apparently attempting to reclaim her comfort zone. It took some minutes before she was composed enough to respond. When she finally spoke her voice had a definite edge to it, reminding Trip of the officious Sub-Commander T'Pol, from when she had first been assigned to Enterprise.

"I knew this would happen; you cannot help yourself. I am being honest, I do need time. I have made a number of decisions without considering the consequences of my actions including forming a mate bond with you."

Okay, I deserved some of that, Trip thought, although it seemed to him that all they were doing was going round and round each other in ever widening circles. He dared to turn round to look at T'Pol who was standing stiffly to attention, just beyond him. She was staring at the wasteland bathed in bright sunshine in front of them. Trip decided to try one more time, to make a final appeal. "I'm sorry, it's just…our bond exists; there's no way we can change that! I can't understand what's left to consider?"

He pinned what hope he had left that she would turn towards him and see his open welcoming arms and realise the pointlessness of further procrastination. When she remained as still as a stone cold statue with her eyes fixed blankly ahead, Trip knew he wasn't going to like what was coming next.

"Obviously we are bonded. I must consider if it would be beneficial for us to form a relationship."

Trip was incensed, he wondered if she was purposely trying to provoke him or were they simply too different to ever be together. He felt she was treating him like a naughty emotional child instead of an equal and he saw red, "So what does that mean, don't I get a say! How'll you ever know if you don't give us a chance? That's the problem with Vulcan logic. If it doesn't fit in one of your neat little boxes you just don't want to go there. You're scared of change, of anything that doesn't fit in with your damn Vulcan tradition!"

To his surprise T'Pol let out an audible sigh and Trip could hear the frustration in her voice as she finally turned to address him, still speaking in her best Vulcan clipped tone, "I admit that patience is not a quality I associate with you but please try to show some restraint."

T'Pol moved back to the container, and reaching down took hold of what was his handle and started to lift it, signalling that she was taking the lead. Trip rushed over to take what had been her position, still smarting at that last comment, restraint, I'll show you restraint. He glared at T'Pol's back as they approached their destination aware that he could spend the rest of his life waiting for her to come to a decision about their relationship.

They entered the warehouse through the large sliding doors which were rusted open. There was nothing in the vast space of the main area of the building apart from the metallic object, a large shiny silver cube sitting incongruously in the decaying structure. At the far end there were the jagged remains of metal ladders that had once connected four floors of walkways each leading into rows of identical windowless oblong rooms.

They carefully lowered their load near the object and T'Pol opened the container to retrieve her Vulcan scanner. Trip chose to go straight to the object, running his fingers over the surface, which was completely covered by smooth rounded bumps. It sat tight onto the earthen floor, and was about a metre high. There didn't appear to be any working parts; no buttons, dials, or displays, however he could feel a slight but definite vibration through his fingertips and there was a noticeable heat emanating from it. Trip thought that it must have been poured into this shape as a whole entity as he couldn't detect any visible soldered joints or rivets.

He then stepped back from the object and started to walk around it. He noticed that he was treading a well-used circular pathway. The hard evidence that they were not the first beings to be fascinated by this mystery was marked out in the ring of compacted dry earth that made up the floor of the building.

T'Pol had finished her scans of the building area and she walked over to rejoin Trip. "My scans indicate that the object is sitting on a solid base which is at least 3.5 metres deep and which extends beyond this building, I will ascertain how far the base extends…"

So much for working together, he thought bitterly.

"Forgive me but aren't we here to work out what this thing does, not map building foundations."

"Vulcans are taught to approach problems systematically and logically, I consider that the most productive approach is to first establish the object's situation."

Trip had had enough. If she couldn't bear to be around him then that was her problem. "Well don't let me stop you, personally I prefer going straight to the source of the problem but then I'm only a simple human!"

T'Pol abruptly about turned and stalked off, leaving Trip biting on his lower lip and already regretting his outburst. He recognised that he'd just managed to make a bad situation even worse. He wondered why he just couldn't help himself and resolved to try harder to back off and give T'Pol the space she needed.

Crestfallen at the way in which he was handling matters Trip decided working out the puzzle of the object would help take his mind off his rapidly disintegrating relationship with T'Pol. He selected a probe and lightly tapped one of the bumps on the side of the object. It made a hollow bell like sound although Rostov's scans indicated that the object was solid. He hit it harder and the peal resounded around the vast empty space of the warehouse. Trip scanned it again and got the same results, a solid mass of metal unknown to their database. He was unable to pinpoint the source of the energy reading and was then faced with no other option but to begin a systematic fingertip exploration of its surface.

Hours later and T'Pol still had not reappeared, her investigations obviously requiring exhaustive and detailed work. Trip could feel the tension headache which had been threatening to develop since his first sight of T'Pol that morning was finally beating him. He lashed out at the stupid lump of whatever it was, with all his strength, slamming his precision calibrator down on the top of it. The resulting cacophony did little for his head or the calibrator which was dented out of shape. Frustrated beyond endurance, Trip took a step back and with all his strength threw the broken calibrator as far as he could. It landed with a soft thud sending a cloud of dust billowing out of the entrance just as T'Pol returned from wherever she had been outside. She first looked questioningly at the calibrator and then at Trip but wisely chose not to make any comment.

Perhaps it was his imagination but she seemed calmer. As T'Pol walked towards him she certainly met his eyes without flinching or turning away although he knew his emotional turmoil was still obvious from his actions and appearance. He could only surmise that T'Pol must have used the time away to mediate.

T'Pol had caught snatches of Trip's anger, confusion and frustration transmitted through their bond. Eventually it had distracted her to such an extent she could no longer work. She had tried to communicate with him via their link but he had been far too angry and distracted to notice her presence in his mind. Without realising what he was doing, Trip had managed to block her attempts to reach out to him. It made her realise that they had to work together in order to resolve this situation. Purposely T'Pol walked over to the open container and then turning towards him tried to make a tentative peace offering, "Perhaps we should take a break…have something to eat?"

"Great idea, I seriously need to get out of here and clear my head!" Trip replied brusquely, grabbing a sandwich and bottle of water from their supplies and then bolting outside without waiting to hear what T'Pol planned for her break.

He strode out in no particular direction, just wanting to put some distance between them. Eventually he came to a river which seemed a natural place to stop. The spot he had chosen could almost pass for earth; there were trees growing by the riverbank, grasses swished in the gentle breeze and the river was flowing with crystal clear water. The sky was a vivid blue and the only noise was the drone of a few insects who were riding the same breeze that touched his hair. The fresh air and the exercise of walking had already started to heal his aching head.

Trip leant back against the bark of a large tree with low sweeping branches like a weeping willow and stretched out his legs on the dry moss that grew between the wide roots. He closed his eyes and lifted his face to let the alien sun and let the shadows of the leaves and branches play upon it and suddenly it felt as though he was home. One of the memories that he'd tried to lock away fearing the associated pain was welcomed into his thoughts. Of playing with his baby sister, Elizabeth, when they were children by the lazy stream on the property his family had once owned. He drifted off to sleep on the joyful memory of that hot summer day.

Much later he awoke, confused and disorientated at being roused by the beeping of his communicator. He had missed a regular check-in time with Enterprise. After assuring Hoshi he was fine, his hunger pangs reminded Trip he had not yet eaten. As he attacked his sandwich he spotted some small blue flowers growing in a clump beside a nearby tree. He remembered then that young Lizzie had loved to pick cornflowers which their mother would then place in a small jar to sit proudly in front of her at the dinner table.

When he'd finished eating, Trip picked the dainty blue flowers until he had a small posy. They didn't have a smell but they looked pretty and he could picture Lizzie wearing them as a flower crown in her long blonde hair. He felt he held a tangible connection to his dead sister and it made the fragile blooms incredibly precious to him.

The sun had started to disappear behind threateningly dark grey rain clouds as Trip started to make his way back to the settlement. He carried the flowers carefully and as the rain fell and then got heavier, he protected them with his free hand. Trip had to break into a run for the last few metres as the rain lashed down. He hoped Travis and the others had found shelter as the wind was also whipping up making this a full blown storm. He was soaking wet by the time he skidded through the entrance of the building and the novelty of being rained on had long since worn off.

T'Pol always found rain fascinating. Safe and dry inside she was treated to the deafening cacophony of rain crashing into the metal building while a large hole in a corner of the roof allowed water to gush in and form a brown muddy stream that ran a well-worn course across part of the floor.

She was startled by Trip's reappearance. His uniform was streaked with water marks and his hair arranged in wet clumpy spikes. Though what really caught her eye was a sodden bunch of small blue flowers that Trip was holding in his right hand.

He stood for a moment in the doorway as if surprised to find her still there. Then he walked towards T'Pol and sat down on the edge of the container next to her, water dripping from his face and running down his already wet uniform. He turned towards her and without a word offered her the flowers. T'Pol was unsure what was the appropriate response; she regarded the outstretched hand clutching the insignificant flowers that were shedding their blue petals as well as dripping water onto her lap. She decided to resist the temptation to ask why he thought she would want flowers. They were simply aesthetically pleasing plants existing in an ecosystem and therefore should be left alone to complete their lifecycles.

"They're a gift" Trip said breaking the silence. At this T'Pol looked up and met his eyes which she noted were the same vivid blue as the flowers. She reached out to take them. As he handed them over T'Pol accidentally brushed her fingers against his sending a frisson of electricity coursing through them both that for an instant blotted out the sound of the storm raging outside. T'Pol tightened her grip on the flowers and looked down at the now sad little specimens in her hand as she regained control of her emotions. Trip sat silently beside her almost too frightened to breathe, no idea what to do next. He was tempted to take her in his arms but instead he inwardly repeated his new mantra to tread carefully so as not to frighten her away.

Then T'Pol stood up and gestured to Trip to do the same, and while still holding the flowers she leant over and opened their supplies container reaching into it to bring out a wrapper containing a silver thermal blanket. She handed the wrapper to Trip and he understood her concern that he was shivering and soaking wet.

"OK if I take off my wet uniform?"

"That would be advisable, Trip."

Trip loved it when T'Pol used his nickname, his family name. He smiled to himself as he turned away from her, and after removing his boots, stripped off his wet uniform. He keep on his black fire retardant under garments as they were almost dry, offered some warmth and made him feel a little less vulnerable. Trip then hung his uniform over the still mysterious object and wrapped the thermal blanket round his shoulders. T'Pol had sat back down on the container and she shuffled along to make room so that he could sit beside her. Trip was amused by the careful way she continued to hold the precious flowers.

"T'Pol…"

T'Pol lifted the fingers of her free hand and moved them close to his mouth, stopping just short of touching his lips; he took her gesture to mean that she didn't want to talk. We'll have to talk sometime he thought, even as he resigned himself to the fact they wouldn't be resolving anything just yet.

Then T'Pol lowered her hand and rested it on his knee palm up with her fingers cupped. Trip looked into her eyes and then followed her as she directed her gaze downwards to her hand. His puzzlement lasted a moment before it dawned on him. T'Pol wanted him to touch her hand. While watching her face to check that he had read her intention correctly he moved his hand slowly towards her up-stretched one. T'Pol continued to give no indication that she did not want to make this physical contact.

As they moved closer together he could already feel the electricity pulsing between them. He placed his hand onto hers, the tips of his middle fingers reaching all the way to her elegant wrist. The instant their connection was complete he felt a rush of energy which blasted against the inside of his skull. Then he saw a confusing melee of images. Some Trip recognised from their shared life on Enterprise, interspersed with a barrage of unknown cities, buildings, and places he had never been. There were strangers, Vulcans dressed in robes; bright colours and rich fabrics contrasting with their solemn expressions and he could feel and taste the intense shimmering red heat of the desert planet. He was overwhelmed and wanted to break contact but T'Pol grasped his hand tighter in hers. As the images and the buzzing sensation in his head began to slow he felt his senses heightened by his coming together with T'Pol. Under his middle fingers he could feel her pulse slowing to join the beat of his own pounding heart. He heard the shooshing sounds of blood madly circulating their bodies through their fused hands which seemed to have become a single mass of interconnecting nerves, tissue, muscle and bone.

T'Pol was working hard to bring the intensity of their initial contact under control. She spoke to him through their bond, advising him to keep his eyes closed to make it easier to maintain control. She then reached out to Trip's mind soothing and calming his panic until his breathing relaxed. With her help Trip was able to master his terror at the strange sensations he was experiencing. He was then able to feel an extraordinary contentment as she managed to reach and link the very essence of their conscious selves.

Then T'Pol started to share and explain images from her childhood with Trip. She showed him how her parents helped her to understand and control the bond she shared with them. They were taking the first steps towards understanding each other and beginning to nurture the bond between them and it felt good and right.

They were so consumed with the exploration of their newly accepted bond, that basic training to never to let your guard down in an alien environment was forgotten…

Deep beneath the planet surface, a being was hunched over a small monitor. The only light came from the monitor's screen which cast eerie shadows over the being and his surroundings. His wizened fingers hovered over a control panel as he continued an internal debate on the wisdom of activating a vital piece of security equipment merely to satisfy his curiosity. Eventually his interest in the alien beings won the battle. He nervously keyed in a set of instructions to extend a mechanical arm and free a miniature but powerful viewing lens from its hiding place behind a beam in the roof of the building. The operator was pleased that the storm raging outside helped to conceal the motorized whir of the machinery. Then although he had an excellent view of what was happening, he still leaned closer until his pale features reflected the muted colours from the screen. He sat and watched, amazed by their total fixation with each other. They did not speak and kept their eyes closed but he saw they were linked by their joined hands. Although he was not privy to their silent communication he was mesmerised by their intense concentration and stillness. He kept the security viewer trained on them and ignored his normally impulsive nature as he waited to see what might happen next…

Story continued in Communication