Chapter Ten: Sabotage part deux
Rachel woke up on Monday morning sure that the entire weekend had been one of those horrible nightmares. When she was little, her dads would convince her that there was no such a thing as evil dolls or little green things that hatched from cute, cuddly Gizmo. That was the missing component, her dads. This time they were part of the nightmare and it was never ending.
Rachel had gone to bed watching the best of the Golden Globes. She did this often when she was feeling down. The brunette would start with the Globes, Grammys, and Tonys then finish with the Academy Awards. Rachel had awaken that morning from her reoccurring dream of winning a Golden Globe, only to be sadly greeted with her sixteen-year-old self. She ignored her fathers, took an apple, and greeted Finn in his car with a peck on the cheek.
Her boyfriend seemed just as lost as she was. He smiled absentmindedly and drove to school in silence. When they parted ways, Rachel didn't feel anything. She knew she should have felt lost or sad. That is how other girls described it. The fact that it would be a few hours until she saw Finn didn't faze her. Her boyfriend wasn't the one she missed. As Rachel turned from her locker she ran into Santana and Brittany. Both girls looked at the brunette with slight scowls.
"Can you believe it?" Santana asked. Rachel and Brittany followed her slightly a step behind her in a v formation.
"Believe what?" the blonde inquired, turning to Rachel for help. Rachel rolled her eyes out of view before answering.
"Quinn and Puck, am I dreaming here? When the Hell did babymomma turn into girlfriend?"
Rachel was glad someone said what she was thinking. Sure, the little brunette wanted Puck to be happy. But now that he was, she felt jealous. Her relationship with Finn was nothing as she had imagined it would be. In fact, the fantasy of Finn had been crushed this weekend. Rachel shook the thoughts away and added her two cents.
"It makes sense. Puck has been there for Quinn, Santana," Rachel replied, making the beautiful Latina stop.
"Whatever. He won't even sext with me anymore. I mean, me; Santana Lopez, can't get Noah Puckerman to sext. It's like he's neutered," she finished and walked towards her locker.
Brittany looked to Rachel for help but, the brunette shook her head and followed Santana. It was nice to know she wasn't the only one bothered by the sudden epic romance between Puck and Quinn. The fact is after she had lamented over her own horrible weekend experience, the image of the two kissing still upset her greatly.
Noah Puckerman had one of the worst weekends of his life yet, also the best. It was the best because he had met his daughter. Then it had been the worst because he then had to let her go. Puck never thought he would ever feel so helpless in his life. He also never thought a five pound little baby would make him a sap.
Quinn didn't have the heart to see or hold Hannah. When all of Glee Club left on Saturday afternoon, she fell asleep exhausted and drained. After a few moments, Puck snuck out of her room and walked heavy footed towards the ICU preemie wing. He watched as the baby's new parents held her and fed her. He imagined what it would have been like if Quinn had kept her.
The most painful part of this story was the "what if." Noah didn't have the heart to hold Hannah, either. However, at least he watched her for one whole night as she slept, cried, and ate. He wanted to remember her. To keep her embedded in his memory, tucked away deep within the recesses of his heart. It was completely girly and he would never tell anyone he did this; he did tear up a little bit. She was a part of him and he would have a little girl out there living and being happy without him.
The good part of the story was Puck had become Quinn's rock. She looked at him now the way she used to look at Finn. Noah Puckerman had become stable enough for Quinn Fabray. He stayed with her, didn't even look at his cell phone, and was very attentive. When Quinn had kissed him, he thought it was a dream. At first, he expected the room to spin or for some sort of gotcha moment, but none came. Then the guilt began to set in again. When he saw Rachel, holding the bouquet of flowers, his heart jumped to this throat. His mouth became dry and he realized this wasn't some stupid wet dream again. Quinn had just kissed him and Rachel was with Finn.
Puck spent all day Sunday with Quinn, watching movies, and talking about how good Hannah's life was going to be. It wasn't exactly a typical Sunday for Puck. Normally he would have spent all day Saturday trying to hook up with a random girl. Usually he would finish a six-pack by 11pm and a girl by 11:30. By 4am, he would sneak out of her bed, and be in his own room before his Mom got home from work. Puck wondered if being with Quinn Fabray meant being in the constant state of blue balls. He knew it was wrong to think about himself at this time. Nevertheless, she didn't even offer to help him out.
Even when Puck had mentioned that he was feeling lonely, Quinn only laughed and kissed him on the cheek. It's not like he wanted her to jump right back in the sack with him, but he had been dry for weeks now. Santana's sexts were getting hotter and hotter. The temptations were becoming more and more tempting. When Quinn wanted to snuggle, he wasn't sure what to do. He had never snuggled before. Usually girls just wanted a piece and then made him shower. She was so quiet and sad in his arms, he actually fell asleep for a few hours.
On Monday, Puck walked the halls through all the stares and whispering. He was used to it by now and it didn't faze him. When he saw Rachel turn from Finn coldly, he wondered what was going on between the couple. He couldn't help but feel like since they both got what they wanted, things were going to change between them. It's not like he cared or anything, he rationalized, smelling the place where Rachel had been a moment ago.
Rachel Berry was looking good in her Cheerio Uniform; however, he wished she had her hair down. He hated that the thick black locks were confined in a ponytail. Although there was an upside, sometimes he stared at her exposed neck. Puck shook off the thoughts of Rachel as he passed by her homeroom, frustrated. It was going to be hard to become a one-woman man. Noah Puckerman was so used to being the stud of McKinley High; he wasn't even sure where to begin.
All weekend long, he had avoided his cell-phone. It was the vehicle of temptation where he got numerous texts and calls from either the MILFs around town, or Santana wanting to play. It was like a hungry tiger keeping away from a meal. Nothing like avoiding variety, he spat under his breath. School sucked without Quinn and he felt like he couldn't even talk to Rachel. Mike and Matt were still cool, yet weird, too.
"You okay, man?" Mike asked when they sat down together at the basketball lunch table.
"Chang, I'm fine. Whatever. Why? You want to bond or something?" he joked, opening his soda.
Mike shrugged and took a peek at Puck before shaking the thought away.
"Geez, come on, Mikey. Just spit it out," Puck interrupted, causing his friend to jump when Matt sat down next to him.
"He wants to know about some techniques," Matt answered for his friend, raising his eyebrows. "You know to keep Britt interested."
Mike elbowed his friend as Puck laughed shaking his head. "What? Should I write a book?" Puck joked, to which Mike tilted his head thinking.
"Is there a book I can use?"
"Yeah, there is. I'll lend you mine," Puck offered, laughing.
"Yeah, just ignore the sticky pages," Matt joked, causing his best friend to kick him.
"Wouldn't those would be the good ones?" Mike asked.
Puck watched as Finn avoided their table and walked towards the football table. Some of the guys who had no other sports to play were sitting there and greeted him. The Mohawked boy was pissed that their friendship was still strained. In some weird way, Noah had hoped that once Finn went out with Rachel they would be even. After all, Puck dated the little brunette first and he wasn't pissed. At least, not that Finn knew of.
Rachel Berry wasn't into lunch on Monday. She sat there in silence as the group around her joked and ate happily. None of them asked her if she was okay, nor did they notice her smile was as fake as a three dollar bill. She guessed it was the price of being a great actress. The small brunette laughed at the right times and answered in unison when someone had asked them all a question. Yet for Rachel, she was still stuck on her real mother. Her anger boiled steadily until she was walking with Finn towards glee club that afternoon.
"She just thinks I'm going to be her daughter. Like, I don't know what she's trying to do. First with Alex and now she's back for what? Sabotage! That's why, Finn," Rachel took a deep breath as her boyfriend stayed silent listening.
"Maybe she's actually a good person, Rachel?" Finn interrupted just as Rachel was going to make another point. It was as if he had slapped her in the face.
"She's a good person? Firstly, where was she? She has been out living her life without any regard for me for sixteen years, Finn. And now that we ruined Vocal Adrenaline's chances at Nationals, she wants to the return the favor. I can smell a setup up."
"Or she met you and really wants to be a part of your life, now that you're old enough to understand. Look, I'd give anything to see my dad. I never knew him, either. So, even if he had left me, I at least would hear him out," Finn finished, walking into the music room. Rachel was taken back. She had forgotten about Finn's dad. It seemed like they all had parental issues.
"Can you come in, Rachel?" Will asked as he waited for the girl to stop pouting and join her boyfriend.
Rachel looked around the room. She could feel her face was flushed as Santana raised an eyebrow in question. Brittany was busying play fighting with Mike when Rachel finally took her seat.
"Thanks! So do we know if Puck or Quinn's coming?" the teacher asked. Everyone looked around at one another.
"Not sure, Mr. S.," Santana finally answered. "He's trying to get her to come this afternoon."
"Okay," Will sighed then handed out some paper. "Sue wants us to do something artist themed. Since her favorite artist is Madonna, we are going to do some mash-ups for Invitationals."
Rachel raised her hand causing Will to roll his eyes. She didn't let that bother her anymore. The little girl was done sugar-coating things; she wanted the floor to speak. He took his time before he called on her causing Rachel to take a deep breath before revealing her news.
"I have been looking at our standings within the State and National bracket. We are up against some tough competition in Indiana. Some of the best are there to get the points needed to go to Nationals, just like us. If we don't place first, that's it for us. No pressure," she smiled raising her eyebrows and handing out the spreadsheets.
"Rachel's right," Mercedes added. "We have to be on our best game and even then it's a toss-up. I think we've done well just making it this far, but I really want to be real."
"Okay, you are both right, we are going to be up against some of the best show choirs in the country. However, you are included in that group. Look, Vocal Adrenaline cheated. No matter what, that was our win. We're going to go to this Invitational and we're going to do our very best," Mr. Schue added.
"What if we lose?" Brittany asked as Mike hugged the blonde, making her giggle.
"I hate losing," Santana added. "I'm not good at it. But whatever it's our first year and it's not like we don't have two more years to kick some ass anyway."
Rachel smiled as Artie pushed his glasses up thinking. "I'm not exactly a Madonna person but I could work something out with Puck for the guitar and bass."
Will nodded happily, waiting for Kurt to make a comment. "Look, just give me 'Vogue' and I'll be happy," the small boy finally added, causing some laughter in the room.
"All right then. Let's start this thing," Will blurted excitedly.
Glee club was just what Rachel needed to forget about everything. When she was singing it was as if the entire world melted away and she was in her element. There were only two things she had found that could do this. When the music stopped and people began to file out, reality hit again.
"You really think I'm being too hard on Bernadette?" Rachel asked as Finn looked at her while putting on his jacket.
"I think you're being selfish, Rachel," he accused. "Your dads want another baby. Maybe this is more about you being the only child."
"That's what you think this is?" she replied angrily.
Finn shrugged tossing his bag over his shoulder.
"I think you like being the center of everything, Rachel. My life. Your dads' lives. Maybe you need to understand that you're not the only one in this world."
Rachel's mouth hung open for a moment before she could even retort. "That again? Are we still going to be talking about Sunday?" she asked. Finn turned from her walking away.
"I can't do this right now, Rach, okay? So, are you coming? I have to get home and get this homework done," he replied, raising an eyebrow.
"No, I'm going to hang out with Santana and Brittany. They said something about a Cheerio outing." She shrugged, annoyed with the boy.
"Okay, I'm leaving," he shrugged and left her alone in the room. Rachel lied; she didn't have a ride home. She just didn't want Finn to know that.
Puck rushed from Quinn's house towards school. He had spent thirty minutes trying to convince her to at least come to glee club practice. She had refused and now he was late. As he ran through the halls he hoped it wasn't over yet. When he stopped in front of the music room, Rachel was inside. She looked as if someone had just run over her cat.
"You seem pissed," Puck commented as Rachel sat alone in the music room.
Finn had left five minutes ago, frustrated with Rachel's attitude. It was the continuation of the same fight they had on Sunday. Rachel had wanted to seek refuge in Finn's house, away from her fathers and into some form of solace. Instead of Finn understanding, he was preoccupied with Xbox. That's when little things started to get to Rachel. From the picture of Quinn that still sat on his desk, to little bits and mementos of his ex-girlfriend. Nothing was going right for the brunette.
"When are you going to take these down Finn?" Rachel asked, holding onto the framed picture of Quinn.
Finn shrugged and looked back to the screen to pause his game. "It's no big deal, whenever."
Rachel was annoyed; she left his room to look for a box. When she returned, Finn watched her quizzically.
"What are you doing?" he asked as she grabbed pictures and dried flowers placing them in the box.
"I'm putting Quinn out of your life, Finn. We've been dating for how long and it's like I don't even exist."
"That's not true I have that card you gave me after our first duet together somewhere. And the chocolates you gave me, well I ate them."
Rachel still held the box and looked at the boy, disheartened. "What about the pictures we took in the photo booth? Where are those?" she inquired.
"Well…" Finn scratched his head guiltily as Rachel searched his room.
It was their first real fight. Finn's lack of enthusiasm for their relationship and his genuine laziness if it didn't involve the Xbox, sports, or school was really starting to bug her. When she had asked him to watch a movie, he fell asleep drooling on the couch. Things had just gotten worse when Quinn had her baby.
Rachel frowned and looked up at Puck as he sat behind her a few seats away. He looked as if he was running. His cheeks were flushed and he smelled like the cold air. It was refreshing to see him. Especially since Rachel had been sure they wouldn't interact much, if at all.
"You missed glee club," Rachel informed him, still staring at the carpet.
"Yeah, well, I figured that since no one's here, Rachel," he laughed, leaning forward lost in thought.
They stayed quiet for a minute. It seemed like the longest minute the little brunette had ever lived through. It was hard now to talk to Puck when before she could just go on and on about nothing. He cleared his throat making her look up and laugh quietly to herself.
"So what the Hell, Rachel?" he asked causing her to turn towards him.
"Excuse me?" she retorted.
"You're fighting with Finn and you've been a walking zombie today with that fake smile. It's enough to make me nauseated," he added.
Her heart began to hurt again like the time in the hospital this weekend. No one had noticed her fake smile and that something was bothering her. If they did, they just didn't care enough to ask. The fact that Noah cared made her want to cry.
"My biological mom is back," she answered reluctantly. Puck snorted shaking his head.
"So that's why you're pissed," he finally said.
"Yeah, Finn thinks I should give her a chance," Rachel commented.
"Of course because he has no idea what that feels like to be abandoned. I mean, I have my mom, you have your dads, but it's still the shits."
The brunette winced at Puck's use of profanity before she smiled. Someone had not only seen through her but also understood her position on the matter. Why Finn couldn't be like more Puck, she wondered. This thought caused her to laugh at herself. Who would have guessed she would wish Finn Hudson to act more like Noah Puckerman?
"What?" Puck asked, noticing Rachel was holding in the laughter.
"Nothing. Do you know who she is, my biological mother?"
Puck shrugged and smiled because Rachel's smile was infectious. "No idea..."
"Bernadette, Vocal Adrenaline's coach!" she now laughed harder, unable to contain it. She wanted to scream or hit something, but it came out as ironic laughter.
"What the Hell! That sucks! So is she now trying to mess with us now that we screwed her team over?"
"That is exactly what I thought! But not Finn," she finally replied, the hilarity turning back to anger.
"Well that's because Finn's an idiot. He thinks everyone's a good person until they prove him wrong. Then, apparently, they're pieces of shit," he shrugged.
Rachel's smile faded as she bit her lip, wondering what to say.
"He still has that picture of you two, you know," she finally admitted. "From Pee Wee football when you posed together on one knee. He still has it. So I don't think you are, well, a piece of whatever. Not to Finn."
"Yeah?" he asked, his face brightening at the thought. "We were twelve when that picture was taken. That's when we were actually good."
Rachel smiled and stared at the Mohawked boy silently for a moment. She wasn't sure why they always found one another like this or how exactly they had become each other's confidant. When Noah looked down, she turned quickly, causing him to laugh confidently.
"So! No Quinn today, huh?" Rachel asked, standing up awkwardly.
"Nope, she refused to come in. I think tomorrow might be better for her. I don't know. I'm just worried about that "post pardon" crap."
"Postpartum depression is very serious, Noah. You have to take it very seriously. Maybe I should bake her something. I'm quite the baker. Do you know her favorite flavor?" she asked. The girl reddened at the memory. Puck knew her favorite flavor was grape.
"No," he answered and shook his head with a devilish smile. For some reason Rachel was cute when she was avoiding him. It was fun and made him forget about everything else that was shit.
"Oh," she reddened even deeper, pulling her baby blue wool jacket over her shoulders.
"I should call her and ask. I'll do that after I call for a ride," she added more for herself.
"I could give you a ride, if you need one," he offered, causing a smile to erupt on Rachel's face.
"Could you? I'll call Quinn now. Maybe she wants something from you, too," she finished, leading Puck out of the music room.
"Not likely," Puck commented quietly under his breath.
Rachel made sure to keep Quinn on the phone the entire way home with Puck. He watched as Rachel talked animatedly about school and how much she was missed. It was hard to keep his eyes on the road when her Cheerios uniform hiked up sneakily, revealing her thighs below the warm wool. Puck was a red-blooded male and Rachel was very enticing. He wondered if this was how Monks felt. He couldn't keep his hands off himself, let alone the scantily clad girls that walked around school.
When they arrived at Rachel's house, Puck's palms were sweating and he was in need of a cold shower. Being good was hard. He had no idea how hard until that afternoon.
"Okay, do you want to come in or…?" Rachel asked innocently, hopping out of his black Chevy.
"No, I'm good. Later," he replied, fighting every urge to say something grotesque to the small girl.
"Okay. Well, see ya, Noah," she turned and ran towards her house. Puck enjoyed the view before gunning away.
Puck had to get a hold of his hormones before he did anything stupid, he thought. He was very close to doing something stupid every minute of the day. Now that he was actually in a good place with Quinn, the temptation seemed to be overwhelming. Every girl was a potential release. It was harder with Rachel. She was that girl in his dreams that he could never get. It was as if his own subconscious was telling him, "Hands off!"
Rachel closed the door to her house happy to have something to distract herself. With Invitationals coming so soon, she couldn't wait to get out of the house and away from the drama. She ignored her fathers on the couch, heading straight to the kitchen. The sooner she baked the sooner she felt good. Cooking was like therapy for Rachel. It was her second thing that helped her forget.
"She's still made at us, Richard," her daddy commented.
"She'll get over it," his husband answered, changing the channel to college basketball.
Rachel could hear their conversation but rolled her eyes turning on the radio. Her favorite Broadway station and flour could fix her life if she had enough time. When she was measuring and mixing, her worries melted away. Everything in baking had its own order; that was the secret. A recipe to follow and results in twenty minutes or less. When she turned on the hand mixer, she could feel her annoyance for Finn fade, too. Maybe she thought, she would make him a batch of "you are wrong" cookies.
The smell of baked goods wafted in her room as Rachel fell asleep. She was exceptionally calm from her Academy Awards marathon. Too calm and tired to fully process her day. Maybe she was wrong, the brunette wondered. Maybe her relationship with Puck wasn't severed. He still needed her and so did Quinn. The thought of being appreciated and needed was what Rachel thrived for. It was the same on stage. The applause gave her strength and fed her.