Egos, Breaches, and Babies

Author's note: This conversation coincides with Season 7, "Here Today." Chairman Farad of Palestine has been killed by a suicide bomber; Bartlet plans to go to the funeral. President Bartlet also finds out who the space shuttle leak was. He and Abbey have to go to an event; then they get some news from Ellie.

Abbey was just finishing zipping her evening gown when she heard the doorknob turn. Jed made his way into the bedroom, plopping himself down tiredly on the bed. He sighed, looked as the ceiling, and confessed to Abbey: "Everything I do gets tainted. You were right years ago when you said my ego's the size of Montana."

Abbey came over to lie next to him, not caring if she wrinkled her dress. "Jed, you didn't try to broker peace in the Middle East out of delusions of grandeur. You did it because you believe in peaceful resolutions. I've never been prouder of you then when you went against what Leo and a bunch of other advisers told you. You tried something more intelligent than responding with violence."

"Once more unto the breach. " Jed said jadedly. They lay silently for a second as they both pondered this. "I don't want you coming to the funeral with me. It's too dangerous."

"Okay," Abbey agreed. "How are the subpoenas coming?"

"CJ's the focus," Jed stated bluntly.

"You can't believe that she's the leak?" Abbey said with surprise, suddenly sitting up. She had known CJ since Jed's first campaign, and she couldn't believe someone both she and her husband loved dearly would do such a thing.

"I don't know what to believe anymore."

Abbey's heart broke seeing her husband's despondency. "Jed, please have faith in her."

"She's like a daughter to me. How could she do this?" Jed asked incredulously.

"You don't know that she did."

Jed dipped his head in acknowledgment of her point. "God, I can't wait for this term to be over."

Abbey affectionately took his arm, helping him sit up. "No one has lost faith you, least of all me. Don't forget that, Josiah Bartlet. I mean it."

Jed looked at his wife with adoration and gratitude. Her faith in him meant everything; it meant he was willing to keep going. He kissed her forehead, savoring the contact, and stood up. "All right. Let's go to this thing and try to have a good time. Though I have no idea how I'm supposed to focus on the music when you're wearing a dress like that."

Abbey laughed and linked arms with him as they walked out of their bedroom.

"It turns out it was Toby. Toby was the leak." Jed said as he came in the bedroom, beginning to loosen his bowtie.

"Wow." Abbey was stunned. "Why?"

"Self-righteousness?" Jed replied sharply as he began removing his cummerbund.

"I guess it's not too surprising."

"Yeah…. What a day. Farad is assassinated. The president of Kazakhstan is killed. One of my most trusted advisors betrays me. It's like a goddamn Shakespearean tragedy."

"With some light at the end of the tunnel. Our daughter is getting married."

"Hopefully not because the fruit fly guy knocked her up," he deadpanned cynically.

"Jed!"

"I have to make a statement on TV in a few minutes," he said as he finished changing from his tuxedo to a regular suit jacket and tie.

"I'll wait up for you," Abbey said as she fixed his tie.

"Thanks." He turned to leave.

"Jed?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry."

"Me too."

—-

Jed peered into the study and saw Abbey reading on the couch. "There you are. I was looking for you, " he said coming over to sit next to her.

Abbey looked at Jed lovingly. "I knew you'd probably stop in here to do some reading before coming to bed. I just wanted to sit with you while you read." It wasn't necessary to rehash what had happened with Toby. Just her presence, Abbey knew, would comfort Jed.

Jed smiled faintly. "Scoot over," he said in his charming New Hampshire accent.

Abbey rested her legs on his lap, as Jed got situated with his reading material.

For a few minutes, they sat there in quiet concentration, immersed in what they were reading. Abbey could not help noticing that Jed had yet to turn a page of his briefing. She rested her book on her chest and carefully broached her husband. "Jed?"

Jed looked up and read Abbey's concern on her face. He sighed and admitted, "I've read the same damn sentence five times, and I still don't know what it says."

Though he couldn't seem to pay attention to the briefing, this didn't mean Jed wanted to talk about Toby. Abbey knew his feelings already. What Jed needed was a distraction.

So instead, Abbey said this: "Remember the night we decided to make Ellie?" She took Jed's hand and lightly bushed her fingers along the back of his hand. Ellie's impending motherhood made Abbey nostalgic for the night she and Jed conceived Ellie.

"I do," Jed saids, the corners of his mouth curving slightly upward. "To think we could have been doing a lot more 'trying' if we'd only talked to each other sooner."

—

For a woman, there are few things as romantic as a man who wants to make a baby with her. There'd been no discussion about making Elizabeth. She came along unannounced, but Jed and Abbey were beyond thrilled. Getting used to a new baby, a new country, and the demands of graduate school, having another child hadn't crossed either of their minds for the first few years of Elizabeth's life.

Now that Jed had earned his PhD and was teaching at Dartmouth and Abbey was in her second year of medical school, it still didn't seem like the right time to have a baby. But Abbey very much yearned for a sibling for Lizzie. She just wasn't sure Jed was ready. From the start of Abbey's pregnancy with Elizabeth, Jed had worried his child wouldn't like him, that he wouldn't be an adequate father. Because of his abusive father, Jed bent over backwards to be loving to Elizabeth. Even now, four years later, Jed still felt he had to buy his daughter's love with candy and presents. Abbey worried that Jed would feel even more insecure handling two children.

—

In Jed's mind, his greatest achievement was Elizabeth. He worshiped his daughter, and his most heartfelt desire was to make her happy. When Elizabeth was cranky or sad, he wanted nothing more than to give her a lollipop or a Tootsie Roll to make her smile again. Even when his daughter was bad, it was difficult for Jed to be mad at her, let alone punish her. Lately, Jed had been thinking a lot about giving Elizabeth a sibling. He wanted Elizabeth to have a playmate, someone to whom she could confide things she couldn't tell her parents. He hesitated to bring it up with Abbey, though. His wife was working so hard in school, and obviously carrying a baby would add a lot of stress to Abbey's already hectic life. Still, he was curious about gauging Abbey's reaction to having another kid at some point. They'd never discussed how many kids they wanted to have, just that they wanted and loved kids.

Jed decided that tonight he'd bring it up. If Abbey expressed any reservations about having another kid right now, Jed would leave it alone. The problem was that Jed had no idea how to bring up the subject. Just by mentioning it, he was scared that he'd put pressure on Abbey. What was the right way to bring it up?

—

That night in the kitchen as he and Abbey prepared dinner, Jed thought he'd begin laying the groundwork for the baby discussion. Abbey busily sautéed the beef for tacos, while he shredded cheese. Elizabeth happily played with a bus full of Weeble Wobble People at Abbey's feet, singing a made up song.

"Look at how sweetly she plays," Jed said, nudging Abbey.

"She is such a good kid. We really lucked out," Abbey acknowledged, opening her mouth so Jed could feed her some cheese.

'Lucked out?' Jed thought. 'Does that imply we shouldn't try for another one?' He needed to probe. "Do you think she gets enough peer interaction in preschool?"

"Yeah, definitely. Lizzie is very social. There's no need to worry, honey," Abbey replied, spooning the beef into a serving bowl. "Can you get the salsa from the fridge while I go get the taco shells from the basement pantry?"

"Of course, sweet knees." Jed stuck his head in the refrigerator, somewhat defeated that he wasn't making more progress hinting about babies.

The three Bartlets sat around the dinner table engrossed in lively conversation. Lizzie chattered on about her friends and all the things she did at school that day. Abbey and Jed interjected here and there with questions.

Jed looked at his wife and daughter and felt blessed. But he also felt something was missing. Normally, Jed would pepper Lizzie and Abbey with trivia, but tonight he couldn't stop thinking about whether Lizzie alone was enough. Could he be happy with just one kid? As soon as he thought that, he admonished himself. Lizzie was the light of his life. How could she not be enough?

—

After Lizzie closed her eyes and Jed kissed her goodnight, he stood in her doorway watching her. Though he and his brother had fought and disagreed throughout much of their childhood, Jed couldn't imagine not having a sibling. For one thing, it meant having an ally against their father. Moreover, it meant having a companion, someone to climb trees with, someone to giggle with past bedtime. He wanted Elizabeth to experience these things. As he was thinking this, he felt Abbey wrap her arms around him from behind.

"Hey," she whispered. "She's asleep?"

"Yeah," Jed said, leaning his head back on Abbey's shoulder.

"She's really something, isn't she?" Abbey asked, kissing Jed's temple.

"She's the best," he agreed, turning to face his wife. "Let's to bed, shall we?"

"Actually, I was hoping we could talk about something," Abbey admitted.

"Yeah, what's up?" Jed asked, leading her to their bedroom.

"I know it might not be the right time. I'm in school, you're busy at the university. But Jed, I really want another kid," Abbey said, as they both sat down on their bed.

Jed let out a surprised laugh.

"Not the reaction I was expecting. Look, we don't have to have one right away, but if we could just talk about…"

Jed cut Abbey off with a kiss. "Babe, you have no idea how happy I am to hear you say that. I've been trying to figure out a way to raise the idea all week."

"Really?!" Abbey asked with happiness. "You want to make a baby with me?"

"Abbey, I would make ten babies with you, if we could."

Abbey chuckled. "Ten is out of the question. But maybe a few more…I like the idea of three kids."

"Me too! A family of five." Jed responded excitedly. "Wait, when do you want to start?"

Abbey calculated in her head. "How about Friday night? We can leave Elizabeth at my parents' house. We'll make a whole romantic evening of it."

—-

Friday night was finally here. Jed arranged for the Barringtons to pick up Lizzie from school. The dinner reservations were made for 7:30 at Jed and Abbey's favorite Italian restaurant.

All during dinner, Jed and Abbey found excuses to touch each other, whether caressing Abbey's hand or running a foot up Jed's leg. They couldn't stop gazing into each other's eyes and grinning like fools.

Once they'd finished their meal, they both knew they didn't want dessert. They just wanted to get home.

—-

"That certainly was a passionate night," Jed mused aloud.

"And now our baby is having a baby," Abbey said, leaning forward to kiss Jed.

"Geez, don't remind me of how old we've become," Jed groaned.

"Speak for yourself, boyfriend." Abbey playfully swatted him. "What you should take away is that there's still hope. New life always brings hope."

"I know, my love." He took Abbey's hand and wiggled his eyebrows, "Listen, I know we're too told to make a baby, so how about we just make love tonight?"

Abbey raised an eyebrow. "That was just the right amount of cheesiness and sexiness for me to agree."

"Then let's to bed!"