"No, I think you should just shave it off," I heard someone say from inside the living room. Spine and I walked in and sat down in an empty chair.
"I like it, Amycus, don't shave it!" complained another witch, who was edging closer.
"I'm sure you do, but remember, were meant to be deadly wizards, not a stud," I added. An uproar of laughter followed my remark.
"It's nasty. It looks like your molting," scoffed Lucius, who had seated himself next to Narcissa.
"Well, I think it makes me look manly," said Amycus, his chin raised in the air. Laughter followed that remark.
"What are we talking about?" asked Narcissa.
"Alecto's amazing full length beard," laughed one of the deatheaters. Everyone hooted at that. Alecto had only a fine lining of hair on his chin.
"What else is new?" questioned one deatheater. She stood up to walk to the center of the crowd and walked over to Amycus. "You have been trying to grow a beard since puberty brother, and this is the longest it's ever gotten. Don't shave it, in another century it might grow a bit longer," Alecto said distastefully. She sat herself down next to Narcissa.
I could feel the testosterone in the room reach some sort of peak. More so than with Narcissa, after all, she was married to a pretty powerful and influential wizard. And she was dumb. Really dumb.
I stood up, yawning and walked out of the room. I drank a glass hot chocolate and went back into the sitting room. Surprisingly, only Narcissa and Alecto where there, the rest of the deatheaters were absent. I hid behind the door and listened to their conversation.
"How have you been, Narcissa?" asked Alecto.
"Quite hungry. You?" giggled Narcissa.
"I have been well. What are you doing this afternoon?" said Alecto.
"I love Lucius," Narcissa giggled… again.
Good God, she can giggle through dying puppies.
I walked outside, only to be mobbed by a group of deatheaters. Again I hid in the shadows.
"Morgan Le Fay, with what Narcissa wants every night, I'm always tired," said Lucius.
I tried not to gag. It was bad enough hearing her through the walls.
"Well, I wouldn't want to ruin your plans for tonight by going to a local pub, now would I?" Alecto said.
"I could be persuaded out of the bedroom. Who's paying?" Lucius asked.
"We're deatheaters. Who says we have to pay?" a deatheater said. He slunk back into the shadows as the others laughed.
"You're on then. I will meet you here later. Is the bitch coming?" Lucius questioned.
"I am here, you know." I walked out of the bushes.
"What is this? The great woman of the deatheaters back to hiding in bushes?" taunted Amycus.
"I think it would be a good idea," said Alecto from somewhere. She stepped to my side… and then stepped over to a random deatheater. "We could make a night of it," her mouth was extremely close to his mouth.
"Certainly not!" screeched Amycus.
"Oh calm down, brother. No harm can come from one night," rebutted Alecto. She stepped back to my side. The deatheater looked very sad.
Narcissa came and sat on Lucius's lap. "Am I coming too, PiggyBear?" she asked.
"Of course, BunnyBuns," he answered.
And so the plan was set. All of us walked down to a pub around the corner in partly muggles clothing. As soon as we all walked in, I was approached by a small man.
"No dogs allowed," he squeaked.
I glared at him. Spine growled. The man backed away.
Alecto ordered a round of beer for all of us. Good beer, not Butterbeer. We all settled – not exactly settled – but we sat down and drank our beer. After about the third round, it turned into anarchy. I am a deatheater. We do not use the word anarchy lightly.
Narcissa got drunk… God, she has zero alcohol tolerance. Her speech started slurring and she scooted her chair next to Lucius.
"PiggyBear, I'm lonely," she whimpered.
"Its okay, BunnyBuns," he said, wrapping his arm around her. She looked up at him and smiled, batting her eyes before giggling.
Good God!
"You would make a good companion, Narcissa," said one of the deatheaters to Lucius. Lucius glared at them, until again, they shrank into the shadows.
"Amycus, what are you doing tonight?" asked one of the deatheaters.
"What do you want me to do later tonight?" Alecto replied.
"Me," said the deatheater simply. The crowd roared with laughter.
"Alecto, you should not jest as such," Amycus told her angrily.
"I can and will. I am not married to you. I have not pledged anything to anyone, except the Dark Lord," she growled.
Spine started barking, and I turned around in my chair, as did several others. I saw a flash of wizard robes, and knew it was the Ministry.
"Ministry!" Lucius squealed and I grabbed Spine and apparated back into Lucius's living room.
The Dark Lord was waiting for us.
"I was wondering when you would get back. That was not the ministry, I simply felt that it was unfitting for deatheaters to be seen stumbling home drunk in a muggle suburb," He said smoothly.
"We beg your pardon," cowered Amycus, kneeling.
"Consider it given. But by all means, get drunk here. Lucius can pay for all the damages," the Dark Lord continued.
Lucius grimaced somewhere in the back of my peripheral vision. I saw Amycus look very forlorn. Alecto looked extremely happy.
Again with the beer. I did what I always did, hang to the back along with the 'assaulting words' guy. I looked into the amber liquid, trying to see when Rudo was coming back.
"Trying to divine the beer leaves?" asked Lucius. Narcissa was on his lap, laughing gaily.
"No. But I don't need to divine to see what will happen to you if you don't shut up," I taunted.
"Don't be mean! PiggyBear is so cute," said Narcissa thickly. She leaned up close to him.
"I'm sure others are as cute," said Alecto.
"Stop it, Alecto. You'll get pregnant or something. And then you'll die! Die, Alecto!" Amycus screamed.
"So what? I face death all the time. Deatheaters, you know. Oh! That's right! I forgot that you cried when you got your mark!" Alecto laughed at Amycus, as did all the others.
"That wasn't nice!" yelled Amycus.
"I know!" Alecto said right back. She walked over and put her hand over the shoulder of a random deatheater. "You seem to be the only one that minds, though."
"I love you PiggyBear," said Narcissa, arching her back over Lucius.
"That was random. Random assaults me," said one of the crowd. The deatheaters all burst into laughter. Even Spine started howling.
"Why is that dog here, anyway?" asked someone.
"Because he is the a good guard dog. Fenrir knows that, don't you?" I said.
Fenrir grimaced. Spine looked like he was smiling.
"So Alecto, what about tonight?" asked one of the crowd again.