Hello people. I'm back.. Thanks to all the support from my reviewers and my béta.. thank you all so very much! Well.. here we go with chapter 9. Hope you'll enjoy it.

Chapter 9: Just let me go.

"Jack, I've decided that I want to return to Port Royal. I need to speak with my brothers. I think it's time that I go back home, back to Holland."

A somewhat rash decision, true, but more than a year had already passed since Jack had gotten himself shot. And still, even after all those months, I couldn't get it out of my head. Everything that happened in those days, everything he said and everything I felt back then. My feelings for Jack had grown stronger with each day that passed.

Despite my strong feelings of hate and loathing towards him in the beginning, despite the fact that I tried my hardest not to like him too much, despite all of that, I had to admit that I had fallen in love with him; in love with a pirate. The shame. The disgrace. My mother would've turned in her grave if she knew. It was starting to be a nuisance. I started blushing like a little girl with every sexual insinuation Jack made. And let me tell you, he insinuated a lot. As the days went by, this feeling of discomfort grew even stronger. Jack only had to look at me to make my cheeks turn a wonderful shade of red.

I slept badly at night. I feared and hoped that Jack would stride into my cabin. I wished he would sweep me off my feet and take me into his strong arms. But of course, this never happened.

Jack was working behind his desk when I announced my wish to leave; he was scribbling something on one of his many maps. He didn't even look up, didn't acknowledge my presence. He simply shooed me away with his hand. "But of course Eliza darling, whatever you say. Just name it and I'll make it happen. I'll come over and visit you in a little while, savvy? But right now, Uncle Jack has work to do."

I was stunned. Did he feel nothing for me? He sent me away so easily, not even the slightest remorse in his appearance. Apparently I had been mistaken in what I thought were his feelings for me, but this wouldn't change my decision to leave.

"As you wish, Captain Sparrow." Jack grunted satisfactory when he heard the title, but didn't say anything about the matter.

Deeply disappointed I turned around and walked out of the door. I held my head upright and my shoulders straight, but it was with great difficulty that I kept my calm.

It wasn't until I was in the safety of my own room that I let go of my tears and grief. After all this time on the ship I had grown fond of the people that surrounded me. I was accustomed to the freedom and sense of danger and adventure. The friendships and bonds that I had built up were precious to me; it hurt to notice that these feelings weren't returned in any way. Jack didn't care about me, and it was obvious that he couldn't be bothered by my presence on the ship.

I peered under my bed and grabbed my canvas bag, the one had I made myself during the long hours I sat beside Jack's bed. While I was folding my clothes and putting them in the bag, I heard heavy footsteps approaching my cabin rapidly. I stood up at the same moment the door was violently kicked open.

There, in the door, stood Jack, his eyes dark and a bitter look on his face. It was obvious he was upset about something.
"What do you mean, return to Port Royal?!" he roared. Furious he stomped in and grabbed my arm with such force I never thought he would use against me.

"Didn't I treat you right? Did anything happen to you? Why do you want to leave so suddenly?" He started shaking my shoulders, seeming to believe that would change my mind.

Trembling I took a deep breath: "Because you promised me Jack, you would bring me back to Holland. You promised. I want to see my family again, my brothers, my aunts and uncles."

"Family," he growled "The same family that didn't even come looking for you in all those months you've been gone. The same family that has done nothing to get you back after I 'kidnapped' you from Port Royal."

"Jack, stop this." The tears that had dried up earlier that evening were running freely across my cheeks again. His words were hurting me more than he could ever know.

"No I won't stop. Damnit Eliza! Why do you wish to leave?" his voice sounded so sweet all of a sudden. Sweet, begging. Hurt even.

Hurt… what gave him the right to feel hurt? He had just called my whole family, including me, a disgrace, and for what reason? He broke his promise by not willingly letting me go. I was the one that should be angry, not him. I yanked my arm free, wiping the tears from my eyes.

"Why? You truly wish to know why, Jack? You really, really need to know a reason? Other than the reason that I long to see my relatives again? Other than the reason that I'm sick and tired of the ocean and dream of feeling land beneath my feet again? Isn't it reason enough that I'm growing weary of pirates? Isn't it enough that I don't want to wake up, not knowing whether I will see another sunset anymore? Isn't that reason enough for you, Jack?" With every reason I gave him I poked my finger in his chest, forcing him backwards bit by bit until he bumped against my bed.

At this point Jack had gone beyond looking angry or hurt. He stared at me as if he couldn't believe the words that were coming out of my mouth, as if he could hear something between the words I said. Something about my true feelings for him perhaps, something that made him think. Slowly he shook his head, the soft candlelight playing tricks with the trinkets in his hair.

"No Eliza, that isn't enough for me. I can see it in your eyes when you look out over sea. You love the smell of salt water; you adore the feeling of the wind caressing your hair and skin. In the time you've been here you've grown stronger, wiser. You've become friends with the same pirates you just claimed to grow weary of. Every time you participate in a fight, there's a smile on yer lips that tells ol' Jack you're savoring the danger and excitement."

He stepped forward gingerly and placed his hands on my shoulders. Stubborn and in no mind to give in I stared back into his eyes, refusing to answer him. We stood there like that for a few seconds that seemed to last a lifetime, until Jack finally let go of me.

"Fine. As you wish. A promise is a promise. It will never be said that Captain Jack Sparrow isn't a man of his word. Tomorrow we'll set sail for Port Royal. Before nightfall you'll be rid of the Black Pearl, milady."

Without waiting for my reply he stormed out of my chamber, closing the door behind him with great force. Feeling nauseated I sat down on my bed. I had gotten what I wanted. A dramatic reaction from Jack and permission to leave the ship, but why did I feel so awful? Why did I have the feeling that I was drowning and had to struggle to keep myself from suffocating?

Because he didn't tell me he loved me.

But, I didn't tell him I loved him either, so why should he tell me?

Because… because he simply had to know. But, wasn't that very unreasonable?

Yes… that was very unreasonable.

The night dragged on, and I had packed all my belongings in my bag. Lying on the bed I was staring at the flame from a candle, lost in my depressing thoughts. After I while I made up my mind. I would show to Jack what I felt for him.

As quickly as possible I dressed myself in a long shirt that reached below my knees, leather slippers would protect my bare feet against the splinters and glass that were scattered across deck. With trembling fingers I brushed my hair, telling myself over and over again that I had to do this. If I didn't do this, I would be wondering for the rest of my life if there had been a small chance that it might possibly have worked. Possibly.

Quiet as a little mouse and with legs that felt like rubber, I made my way towards Jack's cabin. Everything around me was dark, not a single lantern was burning. Hesitantly I opened his door, hoping Jack wouldn't wake up by the creaking noise.
The sound of a pistol being cocked stopped me dead in my tracks. Somewhere from my right Jack whispered in the darkness: "Whoever you are, you'd better have a bloody good explanation as to why you're here… and you'd better not be a squirrel. I have some bad experiences with squirrels. So, if you're a squirrel, consider yourself dead."

A few seconds later a lantern was lighted and I could see Jack standing on my right. His pistol aimed for my head. When he saw it was me, and not some ferocious criminal, he lowered his gun and his eyes widened in surprise: "Eliza? What are you doing here?" He winked and grinned playfully. "Decided to stay with Uncle Jack ey? Couldn't resist, luv?"

For just a moment I found I couldn't move. All sort of thoughts were running through my head. All of them starting with 'What if…'. I shook my head, clearing my mind from those thoughts and wrapped my arms around Jack's neck. I could see he didn't understand but I convinced myself that this was for the best and pressed my lips against his.

That kiss, my very first kiss, is something I will carry with me for the rest of my life. It should've been great, romantic and full of love and tenderness. And in a way, it was. I could vaguely taste the aroma of rum on his lips and I could smell the scent of his sweat mingled with salt water. But then, just when I was starting to think he felt the same way about me, my hopes were shattered. He gently pushed me away from him, breaking the kiss.

Big brown eyes stared at me, shocked. And even before he spoke the words, I knew what he was going to say.

"Eliza, love…I'm sorry. I love you, but not like that. Not like this. I mean…you're young enough to be my daughter. Not that I have any children…But…I'm old enough to be your father! I…I'm sorry, Eliza. I had no idea."

Feeling strangely calm, I caressed his face. I turned around and whispered to him before walking out of the door.

"Can you understand the reason why now?"

Review replies:

Nausicaa of the Spirits: Yeah, I was actually a bit surprised by how Norrington turned out to be in DMC... so I wanted to give my own vision on how he came to be such a savage looking fellow..

Cyborg-chick: Welcome on board and thank you! Well.. the last chapter isn't written yet, so you can easily keep on reading without having to fear for the end.

mypirateJack: Sorry I took so long with the update, hope you can still enjoy this chapter.

pirateobsessed: I did a little research ;) But there are still a few flaws in it that I can't change without changing the whole story. Something with women on board ships and all..

JeanieBeanie33: Sorry no, it isn't going all the way to DMC. But I can't tell too much about this without telling the whole story already fan: The squirrel is evil! Trust me! I showed her Norrington, but she stole his wig... thinking it was a giant icecream...

IamMEagain: Thanks for the review, and after a long wait: here's the new chapter.

Clueless-Patty: Sweet isn't it? ;) Well.. too bad he didn't feel the same way for her. Or so he claims. Cookies? I want cookies too.. -pouts- -Harasses boyfriend for cookies-