A/N: This is a beast of a chapter! Hope y'all enjoy!

Naruto was walking to the grocery store later in the afternoon to restock his tragically empty pantry when he happened to run into Iruka and Kakashi. Again. Even for someone as blissfully ignorant as he, it was bizarre to find his village's Hokage out and about so often when there was likely work to be done. It was a Saturday, but leading a village wasn't exactly a standard 9-5. His two former teachers sandwiched him.

"So." The silver-haired man leaned on his shoulder. "How's your lady doing?" What was it with Kakashi and the lecherous eyebrow wiggle? He had it down to an art, which really distressed Naruto. Iruka was casually looking away, but the blonde could tell his ears were trained on hearing his student's response.

"Don't the two of you have work to do, like running the village?" Naruto felt like he was melting away under Kakashi's unwavering gaze. Who knows what would be happening if his former sensei had both eyes available for questioning.

"Maa, Naruto, you act like I am some irresponsible Hokage, stalking around my former student to see if he is indeed seeing a lovely, tall jounin from the Hidden Grass, instead of running my own village." Naruto stopped dead in the street and looked his sensei in the eye. Despite the mask covering his face, the blonde could tell Kakashi was smiling from ear to ear. Naruto pivoted to look pleadingly at the supposedly more grounded and reasonable of his former teachers. Iruka just shrugged noncommittally.

"Aren't you supposed to make sure he's doing his job?" Naruto asked, his voice raising a little above normal conversational tones.

"Technically, no..." Iruka avoided eye contact.

"So, does that mean you're also abandoning your job to stalk me?"

"Naruto, no. See, Kakashi-sensei and I were just taking a break from work, as it was very taxing to do that much paperwork on such a wonderful Saturday, and we happened to run into you. Given the opportunity, we have decided to ask you a few questions, as concerned and curious almost-family."

"And what was that at Ichiraku earlier? Another break?" The blonde crossed his arms and looked Iruka in the eye as menacingly as his headache would allow. The latter was still getting used to Naruto being his height, and was very slowly coming to terms with the fact that he couldn't loom over him to assert his teacherly rights.

"It appears that our student doesn't wish to have anything to do with us anymore now that he is so popular. Ah, Iruka, we have been discarded." Kakashi put the back of his gloved hand against his forehead dramatically. "I must retire to my office and lament my youth." Iruka looked over at the Copy-nin.

"You're absolutely ridiculous." Kakashi ignored his friend.

"Ah well! Goodbye, Naruto. Perhaps one day you will want to share details about your life with us, the people who have always been there to throw kunai at you..." Kakashi mock-wailed, and disappeared in a poof of smoke. Iruka rolled his eyes as loudly as he could muster. Naruto stood in the middle of the road, puzzled, trying to get any sort of explanation from Iruka, who was standing by him.

"I'm as confused as you are. Too much time with Guy-sensei, I suspect. Though, really, if you ever want to talk, you know I'm around. Kakashi will be too, whether you like it or not, in a more creepy way. You know how he is. Either way. We just want to see you happy!" Iruka placed a hand on his pupil's shoulder, smiled warmly, and walked off towards the Hokage tower. The young man was absolutely bewildered by the exchange he had just been a part of, and walked the rest of the way to the grocery store in a confused stupor.

"Why are they so interested in my love life and nobody else's? Bet they don't follow Sasuke and Sakura around like this..." The blonde muttered, grabbing the door handle belonging to his neighborhood store. A silver shock of hair popped out from behind a building.

"We stopped because Sasuke pretty much exclusively has one-night stands, and Sakura is all about 24/7 pining over Sasuke. It got old, and quickly. You're more interesting!" Another poof of smoke followed by a hissed "Kakashiii!" from Iruka, Naruto supposed. The blonde made a mental note to never go out or speak, ever again.

The rest of that day passed uneventfully, and 6:00 on the dot the next morning, Soba awoke. She was due to meet Sasuke for training at 7, so she began her morning ritual. Dai opened a bleary eye at 6:40, when she opened the door to leave, but fell back asleep soon after. He didn't have the stomach she did for early mornings.

The kunoichi arrived fifteen minutes early, as was her custom, and sat in the middle of the training field, mapping out the territory. Her katanas were fastened snugly to her back since she had decided not to wear her cloak; it was only going to make her sweatier. Soba glanced around at the trees and brush a few hundred feet from her and vaguely wondered whether Sasuke was punctual or the type to stroll in casually fifteen minutes after an agreed-upon time. She heard an uncharacteristic shift in the trees due south of her, so she instinctively pulled out her katana to counter. As she pivoted on her right heel and ground in with her left, her blade contacted loudly with another which happened to be connected to the black-haired Uchiha. Their eyes met and both smirked. Soba would soon learn that his praise, if present, lay in subtle facial expressions, but she hadn't come here for affirmation or a pat on the back. She came here to train. Sasuke came at her mercilessly on the offensive, but Soba was more than quick enough to counter all of his blows. He thrust the blade towards her abdomen, and, taking advantage of his open stance, the kunoichi brought her elbow down hard on his upper back. The man hit the ground with a thud. Brushing the dirt off of his black clothes, Sasuke got to his feet.

"Hn. Guess I might have to take you seriously as a swordsman, then." Soba chuckled at his statement, sheathing her blade.

"What, did you think I was going to be some pushover? If you take me on with a blade, you best be careful." Sasuke's face showed a minute expression of surprise that Soba would take a few days to recognize as such.

"I was just curious." The bored voice betrayed no emotion, and neither did the deep black eyes. Soba found it very hard to read the man, but figured she would get the hang of it in time.

"Before we do anything else, why did you agree to train me?"

"Again, curiosity. Nothing else."

"Given the kind of background I've been given from other people, I find it highly unlikely that you agreed on a whim."

"You mentioned that you yourself had improvised fire jutsu despite having no training. I want to know what you can do." None of her fire jutsu had very much power, but Soba had great control and a lot of chakra. Sasuke sighed quietly, relieved. The kunoichi appeared to be more than halfway competent, and that would make his job a lot easier.

The sun was at its highest point in the sky before Soba took a break. In reality, she hadn't really decided to rest so much as unceremoniously collapsed to her knees.

"I'm almost out of chakra, but lemme do one more." She muttered, pushing off of one knee to rise to her feet. Sasuke watched her struggle with mild interest; he was exhausted and sweaty from their training session, let alone someone else. Despite her absolute exhaustion, she was soldiering on.

"That's not a good idea. We'll call it a day and continue tomorrow."
"I don't need rest yet. Just-" Her knees gave way and Sasuke, on reflex, lunged forward to catch her. "That's embarrassing." Those were her last words before passing out, draped over her fellow shinobi's left side. Naruto decided, at that moment, to show up. He popped out of the bushes, grinning away, undoubtedly concocting some fun activity to lure Soba into. His smile, however, contorted into an expression of incredulous rage when his eyes fell on ragdoll Soba in Sasuke's arms.

"WHAT DID YOU DO TO HER?! ONE MORNING, AND YOU KILL THE WOMAN?! WHAT IS WRONG-" The blonde took off running in Sasuke's direction, the black-haired man opting to hang onto the kunoichi as she was likely his best form of defense against the Naruto bullet train of fury.

"She did it to herself, you moron! I didn't do anything. She's just exhausted." Sasuke retorted, his face returning to a neutral blank.

"I don't believe you, bastard. What did you do?!"

"I just told you-" Sasuke jabbed a finger in Naruto's chest. "She did it to herself." Their man-to-man staring contest was interrupted by some incoherent mumbling from the pile of humanity at their feet. Somewhere in their raging, Sasuke had dropped Soba to the ground.

"Water?" The two men looked down to see the kunoichi in question gesturing towards Naruto, who propped her up into a sitting position. "I could've maybe eased up a little, I guess." Sasuke snorted despite himself.

"The fire-style jutsu we were practicing take a lot more chakra than you're used to. Just rest this afternoon and we'll try again tomorrow morning." Soba barely had a chance to nod in agreement before the enigmatic shinobi vanished into the woods.

"Does he ever leave like a normal person?" Inquired the kunoichi. Naruto simply shook his head.

"You get used to it after awhile. It's sort of like Guy's poses, or Kakashi-sensei's Icha Icha. It's part of life."

"By the way, you never told me what Icha Icha was." Naruto stammered and changed the subject quickly.

"Let's just get you some food and a nap!" Soba took some peanuts out of her utility belt and munched on those while wobbling to her sore feet. Propped up on Naruto, she figured she could at least make it back to Dai's and her apartment before falling asleep.

Soba had not made it nearly as far as her own bed before succumbing to exhaustion. Her blonde companion had noticed her getting heavier and heavier the further into the village they got, but he wasn't entirely prepared for her to just go limp on his shoulder, snoring softly. Naruto had avoided the main drag of the village simply to avoid probing eyes and awkward questions about why he was carrying a half-dead-looking kunoichi through town. The man half-expected his favorite silver-haired sensei to make a surprise appearance bearing Icha Icha novels. At this point, he really would not have been remotely surprised. He debated whether he should drag her back to Dai or just carry her to his apartment to nap. Certain parts of him thought it was an excellent idea to let her nap on his bed, whereas other, more intelligent parts suggested that she would probably sleep away the afternoon better in her own bed. It dawned on him that he didn't actually know where Soba was staying, so the decision courtesy of the Independent Republic of South Naruto won by default.

The sky was almost dark when Naruto heard a knock on his front door. When he opened it, he was greeted by Dai's smiling face.

"I figured my idiot sister would be here! I didn't interrupt anything, did I?" The taller man scanned the apartment. "Where is she?"

"She's still sleeping. She way overworked herself with Sasuke this morning and has been asleep for the entire afternoon." That is what Naruto thought, at least. Soba had woken up on several occasions, but she was enjoying being curled up on such a comfortable bed. It had the added bonus of being in Naruto's apartment, of course.

"Hmmm. I doubt she's still asleep. She would have needed to eat at least three times by now..." Dai walked around the corner to Naruto's bed and pulled a kunai out of his belt. Naruto's eyes flitted from kunai to Dai to Soba and back.

"What are you-?" Soba's twin threw the weapon, full-force, at his sister's head. Horrified, Naruto cried out. The kunoichi's hand snapped out and caught the grip end of the metal implement as it whizzed by her ear. One eye opened. The blonde continued staring. "What if she had been asleep?!"

"She wasn't. I know her better than that." Dai gave his sister a mischievous look before turning back to Naruto. "She's just been using her exhaustion as an exc-" This time, Dai was on the receiving end of the kunai. He dodged it on its path to the living room wall. When the two men turned, they saw the metal stuck deep in the plaster. Moments later, Soba was on her feet, stretching. "You may want to shower, imouto. You smell like dead things." A dark brown eyebrow arched up by way of response.

"Thanks, bro."

"You should probably wash the sheets, Naruto. Just as a suggestion." The taller of the two twins just barely deflected a smack upside the head and countered with one of his own. Soba and Dai were almost on their way out of the apartment when Naruto gathered his thoughts.

"Do you want to go get some dinner? I mean, I'm getting pretty hungry and wouldn't mind having someone to go with me." Naruto looked down at his feet sheepishly, and during the pause, Dai thrust his sister forward towards the blonde.

"Well, Kiba and I have to systematically scar at least another 150 people tonight, so I can't, but Soba would be delighted to accompany you. As long as she showers first, or else we may get kicked out of the village for being offensive." A guttural growl came from somewhere in Soba's throat and Dai took that as his cue to leave. "Have fun! Don't do anything I wouldn't!"

"The two of you are strange." Soba agreed wholeheartedly.

"I'm pretty sure he thinks he's playing matchmaker. Can we go back to my place so I can shower and change?" Naruto nodded.

The next week played out similarly. Sasuke and Soba would near-murder each other on the training grounds, following which the latter would shower and nap at Naruto's house, followed by lunch and some hanging out with friends. Soba and Dai met a host of Konoha shinobi, of varying personalities, who were returning and leaving town in waves. Both of the twins were getting used to the faces and places of the Hidden Leaf, but their elders had only granted them two weeks' respite from their duties in Kusagakure.

Soba and Sasuke sat in the cool shade of a tree, both breathing heavily and sweating profusely. Despite the fact that autumn had gripped the village, that Monday was uncharacteristically warm, causing a need for multiple breaks. Even though Soba had only asked Sasuke to train her in fire-style jutsu, they had been enjoying hours of swordplay in between lessons. The black-haired man was impressed with how far she had come in a week and had very little to teach her that she couldn't herself learn with repetition. All that was left was to have a little fun with someone that could keep up with his blade. The kunoichi behind the blade had grown on him, too. She was sharp-witted and hard-working, and none too hard on the eyes, either.

He threw a glance her way and let out a soft chuckle; her steely determination reminded him so much of his idiot best friend.

"What?" Soba asked, genuinely curious. She and Sasuke hadn't really spoken so much during their training sessions as verbally sparred, throwing out well-sharpened quips during clashes, and the kunoichi still found him baffling. His chuckle seemed completely out of place.

"I think I understand why he likes you so much." Soba was thankful she was red in the face from exertion because she felt herself flushing. Again. What am I, a schoolgirl? She thought to herself. Avoiding all eye contact, she probed further.

"What do you mean?"

"You know what I mean. The two of you have it bad for one another and when he shows up, the sexual tension hurts me." Silence. The Uchiha let out a throaty laugh. "You were giving me so much lip in training, and now you go quiet?

"Laughter is unbecoming of you. Could you just go back to the stoicism and general aloofness?" Sasuke's face returned to his impassive expression, but there was something in his eyes that wasn't there before. Amusement, perhaps? They went silent when a gentle breeze rolled through, cooling their burning skin. "Can I ask you something?"

"Hn?"

"Why do the two of you have similarly bandaged arms?" A hitch in the pale man's breathing.

"To put it simply, we were trying to kill each other and it only ended because we blew each other's arms off." The kunoichi tilted her head towards him, trying to discern whether he was just pulling her leg or not. "I know that you're aware of my history, so this shouldn't surprise you. I challenged him, my rival, to a fight to the death, right after the war ended." Sasuke's brow knotted while he took a brief pause. "And, like he always does, he survived and somehow saved my sorry ass in the process." The man hung his head. "He's an absolute idiot, but it's that idiot that I owe my life to."

"I didn't-"

"Few people do. Which is why I am going to say this - and if you ever tell anyone I said it, nobody will believe you - if you do anything to hurt him, I will come after you." His onyx eyes caught hers in a fierce glare, insisting that what he had just said was not in jest.

"I won't."

"Good. Let's go again." Seconds later, Sasuke was in the clearing, wielding his katana and gesturing for Soba to attack. Her mind switched into fight mode and she flew towards him, her katanas glinting in the aggressive sunlight.

"Soba!" The momentary mental switch that it took to hear Naruto's voice call her name was all it took to distract her. Sasuke's katana swiped upwards, cutting her sternum and catching the underside of her chin. She landed, skidding backwards and gave him an enraged look. His eyes widened to saucers when he saw what he had done. The kunoichi lashed out and cut his arm in retaliation. Naruto ran up in time to see the two faced off, both bleeding and scowling. Well, Soba was scowling; his stupid best friend looked like he was trying really hard not to look down. "What just happened?!" When the blonde stepped past Soba to stand between the two, he noticed exactly what it was that Sasuke was avoiding. Naruto stood next to his friend and joined him in crisis avoidance.

"What are you two doing? Did something inside you break? I think I'm-" The brunette looked down at her sternum and it dawned on her. Sasuke had inadvertently slit open the upper half of her workout tank top, cutting her in the process, but the real issue was that her boobs were extremely close to being released by the struggling cotton. Scandalized, she tried tied the fabric into a knot to preserve her dignity, only succeeding in pushing her cleavage partway up to her neck. "HAVE YOU NEVER SEEN A WOMAN BEFORE?" She swatted at them until they turned around. The kunoichi fished around in her utility belt to find a bandage so that she would stop bleeding from her chest and down her now-bare stomach. "Sasuke, you have made me into a bar wench. Thank you."

Thank you for reading! Comments are appreciated :)