The day moved slowly for Jorah. After Sam fixed his stitches and helped him dress, he was left with nothing but his thoughts.
Did she really love him?
He knew that she thought that she'd lost him. And that brought forth many raw emotions, like loss always does, but he just couldn't accept love, not yet. Not when the battle was as fresh as his injuries, not when dreams of the night plagued her, and most certainly not when she loved another.
He couldn't face her rejection, not again. He was tired, and ready for all the fighting to end. He was ready to see her safe, happy, and on the throne, in that order.
Jorah wore his heart on his sleeve, he always had. Love has always been his weakness, his downfall. He had committed crimes for love. He was used so viciously through 'love' that he lost the respect of his people. And he was a grown man with his own freewill, but the utter commitment that he gave to a woman was overwhelming. He gave all that he had. His whole heart and nothing less.
He loved Daenerys with his whole heart, but with age came wisdom. He was less susceptible now. The choice was hers as it always had been. Though now he felt he would advise her against it, because that was his job wasn't it? And what good was he to her if he couldn't see through his own feelings, and give her the right unselfish advice.
He was hungry and hadn't stretched his legs in hours, so he decided to go to the kitchen and get some food. An Unsullied was guarding the door and Jorah told him where he was going, and that he wouldn't be gone for long. He nodded and allowed it, but still followed behind him. Agitated that he was still following him, Jorah turned around and told him that he should be guarding Daenerys and not him, but he said that he was following the Queens orders.
He was almost to the kitchen when he passed Jon Snow. He looked unlike himself. His head was low and he walked with purpose. His black cloak swayed behind him.
Jorah squinted to see where Jon had come from, and saw Daenerys form in the distance. Which made him worry about what she may have said to him. He hoped she hadn't already ruined things.
He followed the path that Jon made.
She was sitting looking out at the horizon. The sky was a greyish purple as large pillowy clouds covered the sun. Winter wasn't near done with them yet.
"Everything alright Khaleesi?" Jorah moved to stand beside her, his rightful place, his home.
She smiled sadly. "Everything will be."
"Tell me you didn't break his heart?"
She gave a breathless chuckle "I'm not sure who broke whose heart."
"Daenerys this isn't a laughing matter." He looked at her seriously "He was going to be a perfect King for you. He is Ned Stark's son, he is the rightful heir of the north. I'm sure it isn't too late to amend things, we have a long journey ahead."
She looked over to him and was surprised by his look of urgency, then she noticed his armor. It was the first time he worn it since his injuries. She could see the deep lacerations and dents, she turned away before he noticed her stare. She fought desperately not to go back to that night. She closed her eyes and gently shook her head.
"Except he isn't Ned Stark's son is he? He's my brothers son. That would make Sansa the rightful heir of the north, not Jon. Does that mean I should marry her?" She motioned for the Unsullied guard to leave them. "I'm done marrying for politics. I don't care if my people or my council don't approve of my choice. It's not theirs to make. Jorah…"
He took a quick deep breath. "Please don't" he choked out, exhaling a cloud of cold condensation. He was breaking, he felt it as tears gathered in his eyes. She could shatter him so easily, rendering all of his armor completely worthless.
"You don't trust me to make my own decisions?"
He didn't speak.
"Tell me that you do not love me Ser Jorah, tell me and I'll never burden you again with this."
She stood and slowly walked in front of him. Her hands went straight to the most butchered parts of his breastplate. She ran her fingers over the cracks and thought that they needed to find him better armor. This thick leather material did nothing and she resented it. His blood should not have been so easy to spill.
His heart felt like it was going to stop. He couldn't lie to her and he couldn't tell her the truth. He tried his best to show her nothing, but a stubborn tear fell, telling on him.
She grabbed both of his hands as one does in a marriage ceremony. "Tell me Ser, tell me you don't."
She brought one hand back to his chest and felt his heart pounding hard, and very much alive. "You once told me that you'd always love me. Was that a lie?" She looked up into his eyes that were now full of moisture, and moved her hand to rest on his face, and then moved to the back of his neck. "Tell me to stop and I will." She slowly pulled his face down to hers and their lips met for the first time.
He was completely still, and his eyes were shocked as his brow furrowed. She could feel his inner battle and she almost felt bad for toying with him, but she needed to know. And if he wasn't going to tell her verbally, she'd have to find out the only other way she knew how.
He had a stronger will than she originally assumed. So she parted his lips with her tongue, and stroked the knape of his neck with her hands.
He closed his eyes, giving in to the loss of the battle.
He wrapped his arms around her waist and pressed her firmly into him. He began moving his mouth and kissing her with passion that took her breath away. She felt the love that he was trying to hide, still not able to fully give in completely. But then in relief, she felt the love that he was trying to show her, and she responded in return.
As he pulled away slowly he looked at her in a daze "I'd never lie to you, never."
"I know." She placed both hands on the side of his face and brought him down for another peck, that lasted longer than she intended.
He had built a wall, she sees that now through his tears and ignited passion. His defense mechanism built it brick by brick until he had sheltered his heart from her. It was his own mind and heart desperately trying to protect itself. It was her fault she knew, but she was a different woman then. And if it took the rest of her life she vowed to tear down that wall.
She knew that it wouldn't be easy. Even though he had given in to her touch, that didn't mean he had accepted anything. She knew him, and realized that this might very well be her hardest, most frustrating battle. But she loved him and was now certain that he loved her. She wouldn't back down now, or ever.
"Are you sure? There are so many much better suited for you. You are perfect Daenerys, and I am so far from it."
She couldn't help it, she stood on her toes and kissed him again. There was something about kissing him that beckoned to her. She loved the feel of his lips on hers, she felt comforted and safe, but also felt a spark. One that she was told about, but had never experienced for herself until this very moment.
And she also enjoyed soothing his doubt. When their lips touched she felt his body relax and knew that his mind followed. She enjoyed the feeling of calming him and showing him her love. She affected him as she has affected no other.
This time he smiled at her, unable to hide his joy from her any longer. And as she kissed him again, he reminded himself of how weak he was. He was supposed to be denying her and reminding her of reasons she should find another, and yet he found he couldn't. Especially not when her soft lips kept tempting him. The draw he felt to her made him consider that maybe Targaryens possessed other abilities he knew nothing of.
She heard his stomach growl and grinned while their lips were still pressed tightly. "I am glad your appetite has returned."
He felt his mouth go dry at her seemingly innocent words. She pulled back and laced her arm in his as she lead him to the kitchen.
Kissing in semi privacy was one thing, but being so close and touching in public unnerved him. Nobody was paying much attention, and probably assumed she was just helping her injured knight around, but he still worried over it.
The Unsullied that guarded his room began to follow them again.
"Khaleesi, there's no need for him following me."
She looked straight ahead, feeling proud and happy for the first time in what felt like ages. "Can you already wield your blade so soon after being injured?"
"N-no, not yet." He frowned, knowing that his body couldn't.
"So it's agreed. You will have a guard until you can protect yourself." She allowed herself a smirk, that was thankfully hidden from him, but he could probably hear it in her voice.
"Daenerys, we are in Winterfell I doubt that…"
She stopped walking and looked at him. All humor was gone and she was getting annoyed. Why was his life so meaningless to him? "Jorah I about lost you. To the banishments, to the Greyscale, to the wights. But here you stand, alive, breathing, and right in front of me. If I didn't protect you when you can't protect yourself, and something were to happen to you, how would I live with myself?"
He nodded, understanding her precaution. He took back her arm and they continued walking.
"Jon Snow looked heartbroken."
"We both are."
She felt him tense. "Not like you think. In fact it is hard to explain. Something changed between us."
"It is a shame, he is a good man."
"You are a good man."
He ignored her and started picking up their pace.
"Jorah, you are a good man." She stopped him once again, and turned him to her.
"Ser Jorah, nice to see you strolling about with the Queen." Lord Varys said seemingly creeping out from the shadows.
Jorah stepped from Daenerys causing her to frown at him.
"I doubt Jon would be very happy about you kissing your knight my queen." He wore a sour expression and shook his head in dissatisfaction. His hands nestled into his sleeves, and his robe was so long it looked like he hovered as he moved towards them.
"It is no ones business but my own who I kiss. The much better question would be, why have you decided to spy on me Lord Varys?"
"It is hardly spying when I can practically see you from my window." He stared at Jorah who looked like if he was armed, would have stabbed him then and there. The corner of his mouth raised in satisfaction.
Daenerys didn't like what was going on and stood in front of Jorah to prevent it from escalating. "Excuse us, but we are headed to the kitchen." She pulled Jorah's reluctant to move body around Lord Varys. The two men had a stare off that she hoped wasn't an ill omen of things to come. She understood why they hated each other but was worried to what extent. Varys was a man you wanted on your side. He could bring anyone down with a few words, and she worried what he'd do to Jorah given the chance.
"Until next time your grace." He bowed his head as they left him.
