Chapter 10: My Boyfriend the Actor
We take our time walking back to Edward's apartment, enjoying the sunny and comfortable day. Once we are back inside, Edward turns to me and inquires, "What do you think of dinner at Ruth's Chris Steak House tonight?" I look at him and say, "I guess you really want to make up for dinner and breakfast huh? I love Ruth's but you don't have to pick one of the best steak restaurants in the area."
I'm looking directly into his eyes, waiting for him to respond as I see several emotions playing through him at once. There is intense happiness, followed by wonderment, joy and finally a tinge of sadness. I ask, "Babe, are you ok?"
He looks at me and finally shares, "I am just a little overwhelmed at the moment. This weekend has been one filled with so many intense emotions; amazing surprises and has me thinking in directions that I never thought I would be following. And I am also saddened that I will need to leave early tomorrow morning to catch my flight up to Seattle. That is why I want to take you out to a nice dinner tonight as a way of thanking you for all that you have done for me. I know that a nice dinner is not even going to come close to adequately expressing how I feel about you but I hope it is a start."
Oh dear God, here they come…those emotions that are intimately tied with loss and being alone.
Damn it Jasper! Stop this right this second! He is not leaving you permanently, he has a career and you can't expect him to drop everything so the two of you can be together.
Due to my inner turmoil I feel my heart jump right into my throat as I try and ask, "Umm, how long will you be gone?"
If you so much as shed one single tear at this moment, I swear I am going to give you an aneurism right here on the spot!
"When do you think we will be able to see each other again?" It is taking every ounce of my will power to get my brain to overwrite what my heart wants to do right now which is run into his arms, grab him close and cry on his shoulder.
Edward sits down on the couch and I can tell that he sees the struggle that is going on inside me as he motions for me to come and sit down next to him. He gently grabs my hand, squeezes it tightly and then starts rubbing circles on the back of it as I lower my head so I don't have to look directly into his eyes. I know that if I do, he will see the pain I'm going through and I don't want him to feel responsible for that pain. He cups his other hand under my chin and slowly lifts my face up so I have no choice but to look him in the eyes.
"Jay, I know this is going to be hard on you but you have to promise me something ok?" He captures my eyes with his own and I say, "Sure, whatever you want Babe." He then continues, "Please don't give up all of yourself; your friends and family, your career just to be with me. There are some amazing qualities about you Jay that I find very attractive and the most important one is who you are as an individual. There are going to be many times when I am going to need to go away for days, weeks and maybe even months depending on the next movie I'm working on. I need to know that you will be comfortable with this and willing to live your own life and not just mine. Does this make any sense?"
Holy Crap! Either I'm a glass window that he can easily see right through or Edward has some kind of ESP!
I sit there, dumbfounded for a few seconds before I respond, "Edward…I, I don't know how you know that about me?" A look of sadness appears as he says, "I have seen some of the signs before. My ex girlfriend, Bella was just like you in a lot of ways. She and I became very close, quickly and she started changing aspects of her life. She would not spend time with her other friends, she did not want to visit with her father, she stopped going to college; all she wanted to do was spend time with me and nobody else. It was then that I realized that if I didn't do something soon, she would lose herself completely and become entirely dependent on me. Jay, I don't want that with you! I want you to walk beside me as an equal and not somebody that is following behind me. My relationship with Bella became unbalanced and eventually, both of us began to suffer."
He squeezes my hand tightly as he says, "I NEED to know that you are willing to be an equal with me Jay, I don't think I can go down the path I did with Bella again!" His eyes are beginning to water over as he is overcome with his emotions.
Jasper! This is a major fucking moment in your life. This man is putting his heart out on the line and so help me, if you fuck this up, I will give you the worst case of turrets you have ever seen!
Now get your shit together and tell this man that you are going to make this work, even if it kills you!
I brush my fingers along his cheeks and wipe away some of the tears that are now falling down his face and grab both of his hands in mine. I pull them up in front of the two us, squeeze them as tightly as I can and look deep into his eyes and say, "Edward, while it is true that I want to be with you more than anything else I have ever wanted in my life. I promise you!" I squeeze his hands even tighter to emphasize my sincerity, "I promise that I will use everything within me to ensure that I do not lose sight of who I am. I will be that equal that walks beside you and not behind you."
A smile spreads across his face and he pulls me close to him as he kisses me softly on the lips and then says, "Thank you Jasper! That means more to me than you will ever know. Now why don't we watch a movie and please, pick something that is uplifting"
I decide on 'Pretty Woman' not even realizing the character Richard Gere portrays is also named Edward. Just about half way through the movie, Edward looks over at me with that, yeah you know it, you love it, can't live without it, lopsided grin and says, "So how much is this weekend going to cost me?" I can't help but laugh as I answer him, "Just you on a white horse coming to my rescue oh great Knight!" We laugh and snuggle into each other's arms to finish watching the movie.
After the movie is over, we still have a few more hours before dinner time so I reluctantly lean forward; pulling myself out of his arms and stand up. I head over to the keyboard he has in the left portion of the living room. There is a chair seated in front of it. I look down and notice that it is a Yamaha YPG-625 Keyboard and say, "WoW! This is an amazing keyboard, I have always wanted one." I look back towards Edward with pleading in my eyes and ask, "Babe, would you mind playing something for me? I have never had the opportunity to listen to you play." He smiles and heads over to the keyboard, sits down and asks, "Any particular requests?" I laugh and suggest, "Nothing specific, just improvise something that expresses your current mood."
He thinks for a moment and then starts experimenting with different refrains and finally established a base line that he builds upon. I kiss him on the side of his neck and head back to the couch and lie down, closing my eyes so I can focus on nothing but the amazing sounds emanating from his fingers. The music is raw and pure; it is as if he is pouring his emotions directly into it. I can feel as well as hear the diversity of those emotions and realize that there is so much more to this wonderful man than I ever thought possible.
I must find a way to share my own music with him. Something that I can give, that will be his and his alone. I immediately know the title of the piece I will compose for him, 'Jasper's Heart'.
The music continues flowing as he ranges from bluesy jazz to classical to something that is quite unique and can only be called Edward.
As my mind soars through the glorious sounds pouring out, I picture the two of us lying on a comforter, making love for the first time to his music.
He plays well over an hour and a half and when he finally brings my own private concert to an end, he gets up from the keyboard and comes back to the couch, leans down gives me the most amazing kiss, filled with those same emotions he poured into his playing. I sit up; still keeping his lips locked with mine and pull him down to sit on my lap. He places his legs around my waist and we continue the emotionally charged kiss for another couple of minutes.
When our lips finally part, I cup my hands on the sides of his head and look into his ocean filled eyes and say, "Edward, you are the most fucking amazing person I have ever met! Just when I think I'm getting to know who you are, you share another delightful part of yourself. You have the heart of a musician and express your emotions so eloquently through you playing. Thank you!"
I look of wonderment and then shock forms on his face as he says, "How, how did, how can you know that?"
His wonderful breath is like cologne that I just want to bottle up and call it Eau de Fuck Me!
A grin forms on my face as I tell him, "I too, know my way around the piano and believe me, what you just played was the most amazing, soundful expression of ones emotions that I have ever encountered."
He looks into my eyes and asks, "Will you play something for me?" I pull him into me for a quick but deep kiss and then tell him, "I promise to play you something the next time we are together. You can think of it as my way of ensuring that you will want to see me when you get back from Seattle. Speaking of which, you never mentioned when you would be returning?"
Edward laughs and says, "Believe me; I will definitely be looking forward to that upon my return. I should be up there for no more than a week. Now let's get ready for dinner shall we?" We head into his bedroom and once again, I find myself standing there at the doorway watching him get undressed, unable to move. His arms have the perfect amount of muscle tone to them, nothing too bulky or skinny just well formed enough to wrap around ones waist. His chest looks like it was carved by a sculptor, with his wonderful alabaster pecks and beautiful flat stomach and a light brown trail of hair leading down into his boxers. I could just run my hands up and down his chest and abdomen all night long.
Just then he looks back at me and catches me staring and says, "Hurry up Jay, you can undress me with your eyes when we get back from dinner, we will be late for our reservations." He heads to his closet and comes back with a khaki colored pair of pants and hands them to me. My cheeks are pink from him catching me starring at him and he says, "Too fucking cute!" He pinches my cheeks and then gives me a quick kiss on the lips and continues, "Try these on, we are about the same size and it will go well with the shirt you are wearing."
I unbutton my jeans and remove them. I then look up to catch his eyes starring this time and a grin forms on my face as I say, "See something you like?" And the FAD™ (Fucking Adorably Delicious) grin is back as he grunts, "Uh huh!" And then he shakes his head as he refocuses and finishes buttoning up his shirt.
We both are standing in front of the mirror, running our hands through our hair, trying to get them into some kind of order and at the same time we say, "Fuck it!" and turn and laugh at each other. We grab our wallets and other items and head out the door. I suggest we take my car and we both get in. I'm inputting the restaurant information into my GPS when Edward asks, "I love this car, what year is it?" I reply, "It is a 2008 BWM 335, I bought it last year as a present to myself for receiving my 10 year service reward from my company."
We spend the next 15-20 minutes talking about what I do for my job (I'm a Technology Architect…basically a guy who implements software and systems for our company); how I came to work for them and what my interests are related to working with technology.
We arrive at Ruth's and have the valet park the car as we head up the stairs to dinner. The hostess shows us to our table which has an amazing view. Edward hands me the wine list and says, "Why don't you pick out a wine for us and don't you dare try and find the cheapest one on the list!" He gives me a stern glare with his eyes but I can see the laughter behind them. When the waiter comes over to take our order, I suggest a bottle of Silver Oak Cabernet and order the Filet Mignon, medium rare. Edward orders the Filet as well and selects a couple of side dishes; fresh asparagus and roasted garlic mashed potatoes. The waiter shares, "In addition to our normal dessert menu, the chef is preparing a special Molten Chocolate Lava Cake. It takes 45 minutes to prepare so if you are interested, I can place that order now with your meal."
Holy chocolate fucking goodness!
We both look at each other, nodding our heads and Edward says, "Yes! One please."
I glance around the room and my eyes stop at a table of four; two younger men obviously having dinner with their girlfriends. The two girls are leaning close to each other whispering something and I catch one of them pointing in our direction. One of the girls pushes the other with her shoulder, motioning for her to get up. She stands and starts timidly heading our way. I briefly turn my head towards Edward and whisper, "Incoming! 6'o clock" Edward looks up and puts on a smile as the girl approaches.
She is very nervous as she looks at Edward and asks, "Umm, are…are you Edward Cullen?" Edward smiles at her and says, "Yes I am. Is there something I can help you with?" She turns back towards her table to see the other girl waving this way and then turns back to Edwards and asks, "Could, umm, I get your autograph?" Edward says, "Sure, do you have a pen and something I can write on?" The girl frantically begins looking through her purse and finds a pen but nothing to write on. A look of panic forms on her face and she quickly races back to her table, grabs a cocktail napkin from under one of their drinks and returns to our table.
Edward inquires, "Whom shall I make this out to?" She blushes and says, "Jessica". Edward signs the napkin and hands it back to her. She then heads back to her table and the two girls are practically squealing with delight.
The waiter returns with our bottle of wine, opens it and pours some into our glass. He hesitates and then looks at Edward and asks, "I'm sorry but I just have to ask, are you Edward, Edward Cullen?" Edward smiles again and replies, "Yes I am." The waiter's face lights up with a broad smile as he says, "Well, I just wanted to say that I loved you in Heart of a Piano, it was an amazing movie. " Edward smiles and replies, "Thank you very much. I enjoyed working with the other actors and the director, she was amazing."
My boyfriend the actor…this must be how Michael Angarano feels when people come up to Kristen all the time and ask for her autograph.
I chuckle escapes causing Edward to turn his head towards me and ask, "What is so funny?" I smile and reply, "Well, I'm just glad it is you that is the famous one and not me. I'm just happy to sit back and watch as your adoring fans come to pay homage to the famous Edward Cullen." He gives me an evil glare and responds with a voice dripping in sarcasm, "Thanks!" I laugh some more and whisper, "Babe, I'm just kidding; I love the fact that my boyfriend is an actor." He glances around nervously and then a smile returns to his face as he says, "Thank you for understanding."
Our main course finally arrives and we are able to enjoy it without any further interruptions from Edwards adoring fans. The waiter returns to pour the rest of our wine and as he heads away, I tell Edward, "Remember to save some for dessert." I look right at him and give him and evil wink.
After we finish our fantabulous dinner, dessert arrives and we both begin to drool like rabid dogs at the heavenly smell of chocolate and espresso that is wafting up from the Chocolate Fucking Goodness before us.
I make a mental note to fill out a comment card suggesting that they change the name of this dessert to Chocolate Fucking Goodness!
We each cut into the cake with our forks as molten heaven pours out from the insides. If chocolate could have an orgasm, this is what it would look like. We take a luscious bite and then a sip of the wine and I'm instantly transported back to the previous night's dessert on Edward's couch. I immediately get an uncontrollable urge to leap across the table and lock my lips with his as I look up into his eyes. I'm shocked as I see the same hunger in his eyes as well!
He looks so amazingly, fuckable right now!
I look around to make sure nobody is within hearing distance and lean towards him and whisper, "You have no fucking idea how badly I want you right now!" My erection is now painfully straining against my pants. The OMG bend me over the table right now, lopsided grin is on his face as he whispers, "Oh, believe me, I can think of a few ideas right now myself."
Where in the hell is our waiter with that damn check!?!?!?
The waiter finally returns and asks, "So how is the dessert?" I tell him, "Please let the chef know that this Chocolate Fucking Goodness is the best damn thing ever! Oh and can we have the check please?"
The waiter chuckles at my response and drops the check on the table and is still laughing as he heads back to the kitchen. Edward tosses in his credit card without even looking at the total. The waiter returns and says, "The Chef loved your name suggestion!" He picks up the check and returns shortly for Edward to sign the credit card receipt.
We then head downstairs, pickup my car from the valet; Edward beats me to the tip—Damn him and his lightning fast fingers!. We both get into the car and on the drive home; Edward places his left hand on my right leg and slides it up ever so close to my crotch, giving it a gentle squeeze. My dick springs back to life again just from the heat of his touch. He leans over to me and says, "So…what were you thinking about during dessert?"