Disclaimer: The usual
Let's see what's on Ziva's mind.
"I've beaten one of them. After scene like that they will pack my ass back to Israel immediately. And to be honest, I'm not quite sure right now I would mind"
Jenny looked scared at her and Ziva continued.
"I can deal with ignorance and disappointment, I deserved it, but such a cold blooded hatred...I just can't"
But it wasn't just the hatred that scared her. The desire she saw in Tony's eyes maybe scared her even more. The way she was raped and her mutilated body never let her consider to allow anyone to get as close as even touching her now. And she knew her reputation and her family connections back in Israel can in some way protect her from anyone trying to get close to her.
"Just don't do anything you would regret at any point" Jenny interrupted Ziva dark thoughts "Give it time" she asked just for that.
"Now" she continued "do you still have your pills for panic attack with you??" Jenny knew Ziva never took them, but on Dr. Jared advice she carried them with her everywhere.
"In my bag, but I won't take them"
"We will see about that" and by phone she ordered Cynthia to get Ducky up there and to bring Ziva's bag with him. It took him while to get there, he was attending Tony's broken nose. As he knocked on the doors Jenny checked carefully (she knew Gibbs too well) who was there before opening them and she locked the doors again immediately after Ducky was in.
"How are you doing, my dear??" he turned his whole attention to Ziva.
"She is scared and pig-headed" Jenny answered for her as she was going through Ziva's bag to find the pills. When she did she gave them to Ducky.
"How is he" Ziva asked with shaking voice. "I mean, Tony, how is he"
"He will live, my dear" Ducky dismissed "I'm not quite sure about his pride, but lets worry about you now"
"But I broke his nose"
"That you did, and I have to say in very elegant manner" you could always count on Ducky to make comment like that. But when he saw Ziva's expression he explained
"Don't worry, I've sent him with Timothy to ER, but we can still hope you managed to beat some sense into him, what do you think" Ducky was still above it all.
"Now take two of these and our Director can drive you safely home"
She was to exhausted to argue so she obeyed mindlessly. When they arrived home, Jenny waited for Ziva to get ready to bed, when she suddenly came out of bedroom holding huge stack of files.
"Jenny, this is probably too much to ask, but would you take these to Gibbs?"
"Why??" Jenny wasn't following.
"There is no way to excuse my behavior today, but after reading these he may at least try to understand." she explained and placed all the files in front of Jenny. She checked the files out. There were all classified case reports, reports of Ziva capture, some interrogation transcribes, even Ziva's medical files from Israel.
"Why me??" Jenny asked.
"I can do this if you don't want to, but I believe you owe that to him" Ziva may have survived two worst years of her life, but she was still very observant. Jenny smiled at her thoughtfulness. It might make up for some mess she caused today by throwing Gibbs out of her office.
"I think I can do this" Jenny appreciated this more than words can say.
"Then go" Ziva encouraged.
"Now??"
"Why wait??" she assured "and I'm going to sleep anyway"
"But..." Jenny was still concerned about Ziva's well-being.
"If...only IF I woke up having nightmare, I'll walk it off by myself, I can do this" Ziva was convincing not only Jenny. She finally surrendered and got ready to leave. By the doors she stopped and ordered
"Take tomorrow off, think everything over"
"I will and I will let you know" she turned back to the bedroom, she was so tired after today, but still managed to wave to her friend "And Jenny, good luck"
"I think I will need it" Jenny whispered to already closed door.
.oOo.
Jenny parked in front of Gibbs'es house. It was all dark but she knew too well he was in the basement anyway. She suddenly realized she was nervous. She sat for another while in the car. She knew the way she has treated him since Ziva was back in US was mean, but there was no other way around it. She just hoped he wouldn't throw her right out. As she finally got out of the car, she went straight for the basement. There was no surprise in finding him working on the boat.
"Ma'am, I can't say I'm glad to see you" he never looked up from his work. She walked down the stairs and put all the files on nearest free space she found.
"I won't interrupt your work... You just should read this...If you want, of course" and she turned to leave.
"Wait" he was immediately between her and the stairs. She froze on the spot.
"What are these??" there was scotch in his breath.
"Files" was her daring answer, but she suddenly felt the need to get out. The mood in the room was below freezing point. How she wanted to be safely in her car. She expected this to be unpleasant, but this was....just too much.
"Stay" he ordered for the second time as he reached out for the files. She forced herself not to run away. He checked some of the files and when he realized what they contained he turned, walked to the back of the room for the bottle. Jenny never realized from where he got clean glass that was now full of scotch in her hands.
"Would you keep me company??" he was the first to offer peace. There was no need for long apologies. He accepted the facts and considered her coming clean as sufficient redemption.
"You should do it alone" to be honest, she was little bit scared of his reaction when he will find out the whole truth they were hiding from him.
"I want you to stay" he told the truth as he seated himself to the table and started to read.
She hesitated for while longer, but she knew now it was as good as it ever going to be. So she seated herself on the stairs. Only then she noticed she was still wearing her best working suit. At least she took off her shoes, the heels were killing her. She straightened her leg comfortably and took long sip of the alcohol. It warmed her and soothed her nerves.
She didn't know how long they've spent like that. She refiled her glass few times. Gibbs never looked up from the files, not single movement betrayed his emotion while reading. To be honest she wasn't sure he was even breathing anymore.
She was half drunk and half asleep as he seated himself next to her without a word. She automatically rested her head on his shoulder and he hugged her in seek for comfort for both of them. Finally, he broke the silence and admitted.
"I've always known she was though, but that..."
"I know" she whispered and once again silence filled the room. It lasted for a while till he noticed she was crying. She finally could allow herself moment of weakness. She needed to be strong for Ziva for so long and now she knew that if she fell there was someone who would pick her up.
She was so exhausted from the battles she fought alone for Ziva. She wouldn't have it any other way, but right now she felt safe and she knew she could allow herself be weak for a while. Gibbs didn't say a word just hold her while she was crying the way she hold Ziva so many times before. They both felt the same irrational guilt for not insisting on staying in touch, for not pressuring Eli to gave up her location. She could be spared so much suffering....and they as well. Finally Gibbs interrupted the silence.
"You are in no shape to drive, I'll let you have my bed tonight"
"I can grab a cab" but there was no heart in this argument.
"If you really want to" and not waiting for answer he was already walking her up and to the house.
At the door of the bedroom she turned to him.
"Jethro..." her voice was quiet and deep. The room suddenly grow smaller as he moved closer to her
"Yes?" he asked in the same mood. But there was obvious mischievous spark in her eyes.
"I allowed Ziva day off tomorrow, I hope it is OK with you" with her so-innocent voice she cooled the room temperature few degrees, but it never went as far as to be uncomfortable as Gibbs couldn't help but chuckle.
"Next time my agent is concerned ask me first" he didn't loose a beat.
"I'll try" she promised, but they both know it were just words. "Goodnight anyway" and she closed the door at his face. He shook his head unbelievingly but was still smiling as he was getting the couch ready for the night.
The next morning he was wake by weird noise. He checked the kitchen first and he found there Jenny talking to someone over the phone. She was wearing her suit skirt but had one of his NCIS hoodies over it. She was barefooted and looked like from lifetime ago. She smiled for welcome and finished the conversation.
"Morning" she said then and automatically handed Gibbs cup of coffee.
"Morning" he answered "What time it is and how is Ziva doing" he referred to the phone call.
"It's not six yet and she is fine" it was suddenly uncomfortable for her to stay in his kitchen so early in the morning. But he thought the exact opposite and was clearly enjoying the view.
"So why are you up so early??" he was clearly prolonging the conversation.
"I have to get home to shower and change" was the obvious excuse.
"I have shower here too, you know..." he offered.
"I guess so, but I don't think any of your suits would do" neither of them realized how natural it was for both of them bantering while drinking morning coffee. The years of professional relationship covered what was really important and they were still pretending. Only sometimes one comment slipped accidentally and left them both blushing
"You can always try" was one of them, that got out before could be censured.
"I'd rather not to" she tried to ignore so obvious suggestion but her guard was getting weaker by the second. She decided it was time to go. By the doors she realized something and turned back.
"And Agent Gibbs" he was surprised by the name she used.
"Yes ma'am?"
"If you are keen of your job make sure no one finds about that" she threatened. He gave her his best teasing smile.
"Ziva or you staying here tonight?" he managed to stay deadly serious whole time.
"You figure that one for yourself, Agent" she never realized how daring it sounded, she was too busy with running away from all things she could do and say and would regret in future.
Next: Gibbs talking to Ziva and we need to move on with our case