Chapter Ten: Her Father's Child

For not an orphan in the wide world can be so deserted as the child who is an outcast from a living parent's love
-Charles Dickens : Dombey and Son

That day the very first step of Narcissa's climb back up had been made. Slowly she started to make improvements. She had been in so deep one could hardly expect her to jump up and go on with life as before, but she worked hard on it. Eating became a regular habit again, forcing herself to eat small amounts of food even if she did not feel like it. Now Narcissa would never be one to overeat –growing up with Druella had indoctrinated her to watch her figure at all times-, but she ate enough to regain her health. Sleeping went better, as well. She had not dared to use a Sleeping Draught before because of Draco; he sometimes woke up having a nightmare, and the potion would not enable her to wake quickly enough. Severus had prescribed her a lighter potion now: light enough to be alert when necessary, but strong enough to put her to sleep despite all her anxieties.

Severus made frequent visits to the Manor, coming over every other Sunday for dinner. He seemed to have grasped onto the fact that he was needed. In his very own way he was at Narcissa's beck and call, providing her with potions and draughts for the discomforts this pregnancy brought along.

This pregnancy was harder than the first. Perhaps it was her body responding to the fact that her mind did not accept this new baby, but Narcissa seemed to suffer every possible symptom. She was six months along now, only at the start of the last trimester, and already her blood pressure was a dire concern. It was skyhigh, despite both the Healer's and Severus's attempts to bring it down. As a result she was prescribed a lot of rest and activities that would help her relax.
Currently the young Malfoy family could be spotted in the local park of Wiltshire. It was good for Narcissa to get some fresh air and good for Draco to spend time with both his parents. What also counted, was the merciless gossip going around about their family since Narcissa had disappeared from the society events. A public view of the happy family about to expand would hopefully decrease the rumours.

Narcissa pushed the stroller with a sleeping Draco in it. He was two years old now, and as stubborn as any child that age. Recently he seemed to have decided he was too old for a nap, which resulted in him falling asleep regardless of the circumstances. His slumber was all right now, though, as it gave his parents the time to talk. Lucius walked besides Narcissa and she allowed him to put his arm around her now and then – conveniently when the Daily Prophet's photographer was in sight. To say things had improved between them would be an illusion to the ignorant spectator, but at the very least they seemed to have reached a silent understanding. Lucius no longer touched his wife or tried anything to change her intentions about letting him, and in turn she tolerated his presence.

The weather was cold, but clear. A beam of sunlight illuminated the path they strolled on. It gave out an impression that would work well on the photographs. An impression of glittering gold they so liked to show the world. They both valued it, but that would not make it any more truthful.

"Lucius, have I not been a good wife to you?" Narcissa said, tucking a strand of golden hair behind her ear. "Have I not given you everything? You have a son. An heir. And now perhaps a second son. I have brought the Malfoys back into society. Would you say you are content with me?"

"Of course, Narcissa," Lucius said, looking sideways at her. "I am very grateful."

She smiled, once more. Now was the time to keep up appearances, and it was only in public she dared to speak her mind to him. He would have to hear her out without as much as a suspicious conduct.

"Darling, what has recently occurred between us, the memory of it, it sickens me," Lucius continued carefully. They did not discuss this topic; it was a silent agreement between them. She was unreceptive to his endless stream of apologies, so what was the point? But it did not matter now; she was about to take matters back into her own hands, as Severus had recommended.

"And I cannot express how thrilled I am you are still here," Lucius continued."This child, you see, if only we could see it as a fresh start. It will be good for all of us. It would bind the four of us together-"

"Lucius, no," she stopped him, surprising herself with her composure. She had thought over these words hundreds of times. To her they were of great importance. They were, perhaps, her first words spoken as a true adult.

"I may not leave you, but that does not mean I will forgive you. Let this be clear, Lucius, I will never forgive you. I have decided to move my things into a different bedroom in the East wing tonight," Narcissa said bravely. He would no longer control her. If she had a place to call her private environment it might be easier to tolerate the circumstances.

He was surprised as she had expected. He was not used to being contradicted; Lucius Malfoy liked to direct life the way he wanted. But no longer. Not his wife, anyway.

"Cissa..." he tried, but she was beyond discussing this. She had decided. On her own.

"Now, of course I understand you will have certain... needs," Narcissa continued, pronouncing the latter word as if it were something disgusting. Which, to her, it now was. "You are a man after all. So I have decided I will not mind if you fulfil your needs elsewhere. You will be discrete, of course. For my sake as well as your own. Nobody wants to be the subject of gossip."

Lucius said nothing for a long while. He simply stared ahead of them; at the path bathing in sunlight, and their sleeping son.

"I wish you would let me try," he insisted with a thoughtful glance. "To make things up. Cissa, this thing you propose. It is ridiculous! I would never embarrass you like that."

"You would not embarrass me in public, yet you humiliate me and strip me of all honour in private. Is it so hard to believe I have no further intention of spending any night with you? You may find it ridiculous, but this is what I want. You cannot make me happier than by leaving me alone."

What more could he do, than agree with her? Lucius found himself in the awkward position of the inability to make a right choice. If he did not allow her to move into a different room, she would continue to be this cold and distant. And yet if he granted her wish, it would be as if she slipped from her fingers. Only the thing was: she had already slipped from his fingers six months ago.

"All right," he finally relented. "If this is what you want."

"It is," she nodded, pushing the stroller ahead with renewed vigour. As they continued their walk, for the first time in very long a genuine smile lit up her features. There were many things in this life she could not control, as she was reminded constantly by the child inside of her, but this little thing she could.

It was late September when Narcissa gave birth. It was a girl this time. The delivery was much harder than the first. While no woman with experience would ever call a labour painless, Narcissa remembered the first birth had been over the moment it became truly unbearable. This time things had progressed much slower, and she had been unable to find the peace to breathe through the contractions. Perhaps it had something to do with her sister's absence. Bellatrix had always been able to soothe her, whereas now Narcissa only had her mother's unnerving presence. And the Healer, of course, but when had he ever been much help?

The agonizing event had lasted no less than eighteen hours and left Narcissa thoroughly weakened. She had lost so much blood the world started spinning around her the moment she even lifted an arm. She would not be able to care for her child as actively as she had the first time during her recovery. Somehow, Narcissa did not mind at all. Perhaps this assault on her body was yet another sign saying she should never have had this child.

Lucius had been called to enter the moment both mother and child looked presentable. Or as presentable as possible, considering the circumstances. Narcissa had caught a glimpse of herself in the window while her mother helped her change. She was so pale her skin was almost transparent. Her eyes lay deep in their sockets, with dark circles underneath. It was as if Death himself had visited her, and then changed his mind about taking her. Perhaps her role in this life was not yet finished.

She could read the shock in Lucius' eyes when he visited her. Her weakness was reflected in his look, as well as the realization that he had done this to her.

"She's a girl," Narcissa whispered, unable to find the strength to speak. She had not yet held the child, which slept soundly in the cradle beside the bed. She had looked at her, though, and found in her daughter unmistakable features of Lucius. What irony it was, that every aspect of this child must remind her of her husband and how broken things were between the two of them. "I know you would have preferred a boy…"

"Not at all," Lucius responded, standing up to take a good look at the child. "We have a son already, I suppose it doesn't matter now." He bent down over the cradle and, surprisingly, scooped the child up into his arms very carefully. When Draco had been a baby, he had never held him without encouragement. The difference was remarkable even so soon after their daughter's birth. He had always told Narcissa he wasn't very good with babies, that that phase of life was mainly for the mother. He appeared to have changed his mind rather quickly.

"Cissa, I know it's been hard for you," Lucius said quietly, seating himself at her bedside with the child in his arms. "You must take all the rest you can get. Healer Foxworth tells me you will make a full recovery. And once you do, I am sure you will find this child will bind us together. The four of us," he smiled and studied the child in his arms. She looked very small, smaller than her brother had been at birth. Her skin was still red and a little wrinkly, indicating the roughness of her journey into this world.

Lucius thought she would bind them. Perhaps that explained his sudden interest. He had spent the past nine months trying to make up for his mistake. Now that he realized he could not, it seemed he had set his hopes upon this child. Whereas he thought their daughter would set things right, Narcissa shared a very different opinion. In fact, she thought nothing could have driven them further apart.

"Just look at her, Cissa, she's quite perfect." Lucius only had eyes for his daughter. "What shall we name her?"

They had not discussed names as frequently as they had when they were expecting Draco. But then, they were hardly as close nowadays. The few times they spoke of it they decided the child could be named Cygnus, for his maternal grandfather. They had not counted on the possibility of being a girl; the entire Pureblood world still seemed so focused on bringing forth male children. And yet how would they keep their blood pure, without Pureblood girls?

The choice was hardly a very difficult one, though. Narcissa could only think of one name that would suit this child. She was her father's child in so many ways, and so it only seemed right she should be named after him.

"I believe she should be named after her father. Lucia seems the perfect name for her, doesn't it?".

And so it was decided what the name of the second Malfoy child should be. In so many ways she was bound to her father, while her mother had a very tough job convincing herself she was incapable of loving this child. Every child would want to be a product of love. Lucia was only ever a product of misery. And yet they were all in this together; this dysfunctional family that was strung together by things both good and bad. They thought they had had the worst, with the Dark Lord gone. But little did they know the future had things in store for all of them, that made anything thus far pale in comparison.

Author's note: The next chapter will contain a larger time skip, I believe, and after that I intend to jump to the second war. Please keep reviewing, I love to read them, they make my day! xx