Goddamn motherfucking Super Mutants got my leg really bad. But it's okay now, because Charon fixed me right up. You know, I didn't think he'd be here. I didn't expect him to wait this long, but I'm so fucking glad he did. You got lucky this time, but don't expect him to wait forever. Shut up, no. He waited, that's the point. He didn't give up on me, he stood by me, he…he really believed I would pull through it. And I did. I just got my ass handed to me in the process.

He leads me through Carol's Place, and I try to be really quiet. I don't want to wake everyone who's sleeping. I haven't had a good night's rest in three weeks, I'm looking forward to feeling a soft bed beneath me.

"This is my room."

Charon pushes open a bathroom stall door, and I look inside. A queen-sized bed is in the middle of a small, closed off room. Without thinking, I jump on it, dropping my guns and pack.

"It's so soft!"

I moaned, pressing my face into the sheets. It felt so soft and comfortable, I couldn't help myself. I rolled around on the bed, smiling to myself. In The Pitt, no one had comforts like this. That…that was a bad time for me. I was alone, with new enemies and things called Trogs. I didn't know what to do, I felt so scared. But somehow, eventually, I found myself walking back through to the Capitol Wasteland. I couldn't believe it I damn near kissed the ground I was walking on. The memories picked at me like an old scab trying to heal. I opened my eyes, Charon was looking at me with that expressionless face of his. I smiled, sitting up.

"You're still the same, Charon."

He nodded. I had changed, I knew that much. After seeing what I saw in The Pitt, it's hard to stay the same. I failed to mention my recent Jet addiction to him. In due time. For now, I want us to have a happy reunion. But between you and me, you need chems to get by over there. You'd go insane without them.

"Help me?"

I motioned to my shoulder spikes, and Charon nodded. I got myself some Raider Throwdown Armor, and was loving how it looked and felt on me. But I can't sleep worth a shit in it, trust me, I've tried. The spiked part on my shoulders digs in and grinds against my skin, making small cuts and hurting my face. I felt Charon's hands behind me, fumbling with the straps. I smiled, his torso in my face.

"You going to sleep in your armor, too?"

"No."

He took the spikes off of me, and I rubbed my shoulders, flexing my arm. He tossed them to the floor, and I noticed he locked the bathroom door. I cocked an eyebrow, but didn't ask why. I didn't let on to Charon that I felt different inside. I felt as if my life was on a timer. Like…I can't describe it. Since I got back, I've just felt as if I'm biding my time, and living off of borrowed time. It's bothering me, and making me worry, but I told myself I'd forget it if I could just get to Charon. Now I have, and it seems to be the only thing on my mind.

I looked up as Charon backed away from me. I unzipped my top, letting it come off my body all seductive and whatnot. Sure, I haven't the slightest idea what being seductive is, but hell why not give it a shot? I let my top armor fall off to the floor, and I was sitting in just my bra and pants. Charon remained still and emotionless, and I realized how stupid I was being.

"You are the most unreadable person, Charon."

I stood, and fumbled with the metal belt around my waist. I had two of them, which was really a pain, but I would not be discouraged by them. Somehow, I got them both unbuckled and off. I smiled, proud and triumphant.

"I did it Charon!"

"People are sleeping, Dez."

I frowned and bit my lip. I forgot we aren't alone in here. Ah well, they'd be getting up soon anyways. Sliding off my pants, I slid my body into the soft, warm bed. I felt so cold since leaving The Pitt. My body hasn't adjusted to the climate changes yet, and I was feeling the effects. I glanced up at Charon as I scooted over to the opposite side of the bed. He was taking off his top armor, and I watched as he slid it off.

Usually, before, he had a black tee underneath. Now I saw he had taken that off along with his chest piece. He sat with his back to me, working the straps on his boots. I stared at him. Charon, I need you more than anything else in my life. I wish I could tell you how much you mean to me, but I am a coward, and I bet you a million caps you don't feel the same. Sighing, I pulled the covers over my lap. I am in my underwear, and I feel like an idiot. Charon probably thinks I am, too, for doing all of this. I shouldn't have come back, but he did say he missed me.

I shook my head, staring at the blankets. I shouldn't beat myself up. I owe Charon my life, and maybe he has developed a soft spot for me. I mean, he changed his mind and decided to stay. I played with the blanket in my hands, feeling the onset of a quick withdrawal. Nervously, I scanned the walls of the small room we were in. Nothing but bathroom stall doors separated us from the other ghouls, but that didn't bother me.

"Would you like a cigarette, Dez?"

I glanced up at Charon. He stood in his pants, a pack of cigarettes in his hand. In the darkness, I couldn't differentiate between skin and muscle. I just saw a man in front of me, staring at me with white eyes.

"Yeah…please."

He lit two and handed me one. I watched him slide under the covers beside me, and smoke his cigarette in the silence. I did the same, staring off ahead at the wall in front of me. I never thought I'd survive The Pitt to be honest with you. I thought I was going to die out there, I was so scared, so nervous. No one knew me. I felt like a whole new person. My Pip-Boy didn't give me away, and no one knew that strange girl from Vault 101 was me. It was strange, and…scary. I never thought this would come to mind, but…I feel safe in the Capitol Wasteland. I know it, I know what to expect from it. I didn't know The Pitt.

"Is there something on your mind?"

I glanced over at Charon while I exhaled a bunch of smoke.

"Just…thinking about The Pitt…"

I wasn't ready to talk about it with him yet.

"I see."

I nodded at him, sighing and taking another long drag of my cigarette. The Pitt was…it was terrible. I was shocked at everything I saw. Hell, I didn't think anything could shock me anymore, but that place really put the fear in me.

Shaking my head, I stole a look at Charon. He was just sitting, smoking. I didn't smile, but I wanted to. I wanted to enjoy the time we were spending together now, enjoy being his company again. It just felt like something was preventing me from that. I just…feel like something is going to happen. I don't know what, though. I wonder if Charon will be there, when the end for me comes. I wonder if he'll still be there, watching me and trying to keep me safe. This time I smiled, and tossed my cigarette to the floor.

"I think I should go help the Brotherhood."

He looked at me, shocked almost.

"Yes?"

"Yeah. I think I should. It was my father's dying wish for that to happen, you know? But…at the same time, I don't want to be…a hero. I don't want to go down in history as some goodie two-shoes savior. That's not me."

"Then what is you?"

The question caught me off guard. I shook my head, tracing lines on the blanket.

"I haven't quite figured that out yet."

"I see."

I sighed, and laid down. I can't shake this feeling that something is…different. Something is going to happen. I can just foresee myself putting flowers on my own grave or some fucked up shit like that. I feel like I'm on a time limit. I can't describe it. It is bugging the holy piss out of me though.

"Charon?"

"Yes?"

"You have to promise me something."

"What is it?"

"If something happens to me…promise me you'll be free. That you'll live your life the way you want to, and not by that stupid fuckin' contract."

"I will do the best I can."

"Good."

Pulling the blankets to my chin, I laid on my side, my back facing Charon. At least now if something did actually happen to me, Charon would be safe. He wouldn't be under the employment of someone who would be cruel to him, someone who might hurt him or something.

"Dez?"

I turned my neck, feeling Charon moving and making the bed creak and shake.

"Yeah?"

"I am glad you have returned safe."

"Me too, Charon. Me too."

Out of nowhere, I felt his hand on my side. I froze up, stiff. It shocked me, I hadn't expected him to touch me. I felt his fingertips tracing new scars along my side, stopping every now and again on a patch of dried and scale-like skin.

"Trog?"

He asked, and I let out a deep gush of air.

"Yes."

He moved his hand off the dried spot. I felt my heard racing, jumping up in my throat. I could hear Three Dog playing somewhere in the distance, in another room, and I blocked it from my head. Charon's hand found another scar, and he stopped on it.

"That's from a Raider. Knife cut."

He moved his hand to my upper shoulder. I had a deep scar on the side of my neck. When I got it, it was almost as deep as the one on my back, just nearly missing my jugular.

"When I fought in The Hole."

"You have gotten very wounded."

"No armor. Foolish mistakes."

He wrapped his hand around my neck, and lightly touched the scar I had receive so long ago at Fort Bannister…the one from him.

"I still have not forgiven myself for that."

I rolled over, looking at him. I think that's when I realized I love Charon more than anyone else in my life. More than I have ever loved or cared for anyone before. I wished there was a song I had played on piano that could describe this moment, but there was none. If I ever got that keyboard, I would make one up. I'd call it…'Mine and Charon's Song of Songness', and it would be beautiful.

His hand was still on my neck when I reached up to his back. I placed my hand on the scar he had from me, his arm resting on my chest.

"This, is from me. And I haven't forgiven myself for it, either."

I felt my eyes welling up with water, but I pushed it back. I didn't want to cry. I refused to cry in front of him. Charon's body stiffened like mine had. He leered at me, and I saw his jaw clench. I smirked at him, kind of in a sad way. I felt his arm over my chest, and it felt so heavy, like it weighed a ton.

"I'm sorry, you know."

I told him, running my fingers over the scar.

"I know."

I took my hand from his back, and put it on his chest. If anyone saw this, us, they'd think they caught us in the middle of some sort of sex thing.

"You got all healed up."

"Yes."

I missed his rough, uneven voice, and the unnatural 'accent' he had. His chest had healed, completely, and new skin had formed over the old.

"I'm glad."

"I am too."

He slid his hand off of my neck, and let it rest on the scar that wound up my back. I felt his hands touching it, almost tickling it, and I flinched.

"I am most concerned about this one."

"It's nothing now. It was something mean a few weeks ago, it's fine now, though."

"This could have easily killed you."

"But it didn't."

He took that as an acceptable answer, and let the subject go. I felt his hand slide off of my neck, and he pushed back from me. I heard him sigh, and I frowned to myself. Maybe this isn't the right time for Charon and I to happen. There's something I've got to do though. Something I can maybe do. I don't know any of his likes or dislikes, so I don't know what direction to go in. Hell I don't even know if the rotten fucker likes me.

Sighing loudly, I fell back onto the pillow, my arms behind my head, elbows high in the air. I felt the lesions of the Trog disease stretch and rip open, the skin lifting up. With my left hand, I ripped the piece off. It didn't hurt, it just felt like I had a bad sunburn and was taking off the peeled skin. I didn't feel tired, but I know I need sleep. I looked over at Charon, his back was to me, and I could see his spine in some areas.

You know, I think I'm scared of him in another way. I think once I admit fully that I'm so close to him, he'll leave. I don't know why I think this, but I just do. I only ever told him I loved him once, and I don't think he remembers that. Maybe he does, and just doesn't think about it. Maybe I just lost my mind and don't know how to get it back.

I turned back on my side, my hands tucked under my head. I closed my eyes, and memories played without permission. I remember how dim and dark the vault was, compared to the burning sun. I remembered how I came out of there, and I was so stupid. So ignorant, so…free. I'd never felt freedom before, than when I left the vault. I thought I was free, I mean, I never really broke the rules. But out here, it's total freedom. There is no law, no guards, its do or die, and I fuckin' love it. I can shoot up a town and go back to Megaton and no one would know any better. I could do anything, and no one would think it's out of the ordinary.

I felt my blood race, remembering all of the firsts I've had in the desert, in the Capitol Wasteland. Somehow, Charon snuck himself into a list of those firsts. He's the first bodyguard I've ever had, the first person to give a shit, and the first…well, you know. I sighed. I can't even get him out of my head when I'm trying to sleep. What the fuck man. I did enough thinking about him in The Pitt. Why does it have to keep going?

"Are you asleep?"

Charon voice made my eyes snap wide open, jerking me from whatever thoughts I was thinking.

"No. I can't."

"Neither can I."

I rolled on my back, and he did too. The bed was warm, soft and inviting. I wanted to sleep forever in it, but I couldn't get to sleep. I wanted to stay here forever, but I couldn't stop my legs from moving.

"Why can't you sleep?"

I asked him, motioning for a cigarette. He reached over and handed me one, and lit it for me. I inhaled it, and looked at him, waiting for his answer.

"I am not tired."

"Me neither."

"You look tired. You should rest."

I shook my head, staring at the ceiling.

"No. I can't. I gotta do something. Want to head back to Megaton?"

"Now?"

"Ya why not?"

Charon sighed, rubbing his eyes. I turned on my Pip-Boy light, blinding myself with it for a minute.

"I think you should rest, or you will become exhausted."

"But…I can't."

He was beginning to piss me off with his stupid suggestions. I didn't bother to listen to his argument, I kicked the blankets off of myself. Getting up, I did a stretch, and walked over to my armor.

"You are going to Megaton?"

I pulled on my pants, trying to keep my cigarette in my mouth and buckle my two belts.

"Yeah."

"Very well."

He got up, and grabbed his boots. I heard him playing with the laces, and grumbling to himself. I got my shoulder spikes on, and finished zipping up my shirt. Grabbing my pack and gun, I moved the weight around until it felt comfortable.

"You ready?"

Charon fit his arms through his armor, and nodded.

"Yes."

"Let's go."

Here we go. Dez and Charon on another wild adventure back to Megaton, just like old times. So why now does it feel so different? Not a good kind of different, but an uncomfortable different. It feels like between Fort Bannister and The Pitt, too much time has elapsed, and we're not familiar with one another anymore. It kind of annoyed me. I kept thinking we were still venturing back from Rivet City, but I knew we weren't. I kept thinking it was two months and a day ago, but it wasn't. You're different and he's the same, this isn't going to work and you're going to be sorry, Dezbe.

We walked out of Underworld, and left it all behind. Charon didn't seem to mind leaving so early in the morning, or so late at night. Then again, he never really minded much of anything, at least, not that I knew of. I shook my head, letting my feet walk me to the Metro tunnel ahead. Charon's rhythmic feet focused me, made me move my own weary feet.

Every now and again, I'd glance behind me to make sure he was there. Any little noise scared me, caused me to jump. I think that's from being in The Pitt. Shit man…I guess I don't know just how much I've changed. But with every noise that made me jump, Charon was at the ready with his shotgun. Before, this would make me feel safe, and I'd like it. Now…now it just made me sigh and shake my head. I have no reason to feel this way, but I do.