"Under the autumn tree, the chair where you would swing. The yard so full of leaves, it comforts me. A man that resembles me, watching his young lady sleep. Now I'm off to dream, comfort me..."

He thinks about how it's seems like it's been almost a week since he'd slept. He'd spent the last twelve hours holding Rachel, and shushing her sobs of self hatred and mourning, while he, himself, was also mourning. They'd lost their baby. Their fucking baby. Every time he thought about it, which was pretty much every second since he'd found out, he didn't know what he wanted to do more; puke or cry harder. He loved Rachel, he really, truly did with everything he had inside him, but he just couldn't wrap his head around why she would do this to them. They'd been through enough. Their baby was just added to their list of people they cared about who they'd lost.

He looked down at the tiny brunette in his arms that had finally given up her fight with exhaustion about an hour ago. Her face was still pale from the accident, with little red blotches here and there from the sobs that had been coursing through her hour after hour. His heart ached for the pain she must be in. It has to be at least a thousand times worse for her, this situation. He lightly stroked her cheek, letting his calloused fingers glide along her cheekbones. He lets a slight smile slip through the light tears that are still falling at how beautiful and peaceful she looks while sleeping. His love for her is pure and deep, and he can feel in his heart that no matter what, that love will never go away. He kissed her forehead and gently moved her bangs out of her eyes.

Moving lightly, he got out from the bed and giving one last look to Rachel's sleeping form, he walked out of her hospital room. It was past four am and he really needed a cigarette. He walked out into the cool hallway that smelled of chemicals, taking a left and telling the nurse at the desk that he'd be back soon. Walking to the elevator, he pressed the first level button and closed the door, letting his head fall against the wall. Closed his eyes and took deep breaths, letting his heart rate calm down until he heard the ding of the elevator. He stepped out and walked towards the door, bracing himself for the cold, December air that was about to hit his face. Pushing the door out, he walking out of the hospital and started toward the park across the street.

He reached into his pocket to pull out his pack and lighter once he had sat himself on a bench. He lit up the cigarette and pulled it towards his lips, inhaling. Once the tobacco hit the back of his throat, he closed his eyes and let out a welcoming sigh, exhaling.

"Good to see it isn't hard drugs anymore," He heard a voice call out to him, making him open his eyes. Puck. When he saw who it was, he let out a slight smile, getting one back in return.

Noah Puckerman, better known as Puck, was Rachel's half brother. They shared the same mother, Shelby Corcoran, who was Rachel's surrogate mother and Puck's biological dad's ex-girlfriend. Since they were little, Puck's always been apart of their lives. Shelby had agreed to have Rachel for Leroy and Hiram when Puck's dad left her and Puck with next to nothing and since then, Shelby and Puck have been a part of the family. Puck was his best friend, next to Rachel of course, but after his first stint in rehab, the two of them haven't been as close as they used to be. Puck was on his way to a football scholarship and Finn knew that he didn't want to jeopardize that by hanging around with him. He didn't hold it against him, he understood exactly why they grew apart. But he's always hoped that someday they would be close again.

"Hm, yeah. The uh.. the second time in rehab really sobered me up. Just uh.. just smoke these now, for the most part." He said, holding up his cigarette and taking another drag. Puck nodded, stepping closer and sitting on the bench beside him. Puck looked over at him, his eyes full of sympathy.

"How you holding up?" Puck asked softly. He let out a shaky breath, letting the smoke float into the air. He felt the tears start to pool in his eyes, but he tried to push it back.

"I'm... I... it fucking hurts, man." He let out with a quick sob escaping, he felt Puck grab his sholder. "And it's like.. I would've done anything so me and Rach could've kept that baby. And I would've loved the hell out of that baby. I would've tried to be the best dad I could be. It's just not fair, you know? That all the shitty stuff happens to me and Rach. I mean, she doesn't deserve this. And now she's blaming herself. And I feel like shit because I didn't even notice that she was pregnant in the first place. And everything's just fucked up and shitty, and I just... I'm lost, man. I don't know what the hell I'm supposed to do. It just feels like my mom's death all over again." He let another sob escaped as he wiped his eyes and took another drag. He was so fucking lost in his mind.

Puck felt tears prickling in his eyes at seeing Finn so hurt and lost. Puck's heart ached for both Finn and Rachel and the pain they both most be harboring.

"I can't even imagine what you two are going through," Puck started out, with a shaky voice, " "But you are both the strongest people I've ever met in my entire life. And I know that baby would've been the most loved baby in this world. And I know it's hard right now, because it's fresh and so new, but it will get better. I know that for a fact that it will. You have been through so much, that you deserve to get through this, and feel ok after this. And Rachel, you just need to keep on loving her. You love that girl with everything you have, and it shows. You've always looked at her as if she hung the moon. You just keep on loving her, and she'll get through this as well. You two just need to mourn and get through this together. Because you two are strong and I love you both so much, I need you to know that. And know that no matter what, I'm always here. And Hiram is too. He loves you like a son, Finn. He always has, both him and Leroy. And I know that both Leroy and your Mom are both looking down on you and Rachel right now, and I know that they'll both let things get better for you both. Because out of everyone I know, but you and Rachel deserve a happy ending, and I know you both will get it. I know."

He looked at Puck and felt relief. Relief because for the first time someone told him that things will get better, and he actually believed it. That'd never happened before. Tons of doctors, and therapists had told him that things would get better throughout his life, but he never believed it. And after his mom's death, he knew it could never be true. But Puck telling him that things would get better sparked some sort of restoration of hope inside him. He felt like he could get through this. He and Rachel could both get through this together. They would get through this together. He let his arms wrap around Puck, pulling him close for a hug.

"Thank you, Puck. Seriously, I can't thank you enough just.. thank you." He said through the tears that were seeping from his eyes. He felt Puck's arms wrap around, returning the hug.

"Of course, man. When we were five and I promised you we would be friends forever, I meant that." Puck said, with a smile in his voice. He let out a light laugh at the memory of him and Puck in Puck and Rachel's tree-house, both promising they would be friends forever and sealing the promise with their secret handshake.

They both drew back from the hug and he took a finally drag from his cigarette before dropping it to the ground and stomping it out with his foot.

"I should probably get back to Rachel. I don't want her to wake up and have me not be there." He said, standing up.

"You know, it's really inspiring how much you love her. I've never seen a love like your guys', it's kinda beautiful actually. Thank you for loving her, and making her happy." Puck said, standing up with him. The thought of his love for Rachel brought a smile to his face. He nodded at Puck, and started walking toward to hospital doors with Puck in tow.

-xx-

He walked into her hospital room and saw a sobbing Rachel in Hiram's arms.

"Baby, what happened?" He asked panicked, instantly rushing to her and holding her face in his hands.

"Oh, Finn! I-I thought you left me and I... I-"

"Shh shh, baby. I'm right here, I'm never leaving you." He cut her off, taking her into his arm from Hiram.

"Promise?" She let out in a whimper. The hurt expression on her face was absolutely killing him.

"I promise, baby. I promise with all my heart."

"I love you so much, Finn" She said against his neck, nuzzling her face into the crook of it.

"I love you so much more, baby. So, so much more." He sealed his statement with a kiss to the crown of her head. There was nothing he wouldn't do for her. He loved her way more than any words could ever describe. That's the way it has been, and the way it always will be as far as he was concerned.

"Is this my old shape? My mind is away, how long have you been gone? And the cold winter's aged, the soft of your face. And I can't move on." - Milo Greene

so finally a little bit of hope as been shown down upon Finn, hopefully it lasts. I think this has been my longest chapter ever. I don't have a beta, so if there's any mistakes I apologize. I also apologized for not updating in so long. everything has just been so hectic but I will definitely be updating more often from now on. please tell me what you think by leaving a review or by tweeting me. my twitter handle is the same as this one, finnterpan. thank you so much, love you all Xx