"Well, you know what they say…" Vastra trailed off at the ire in her wife's eyes.
"No, my darling, I do not know 'what they say'," Jenny's were on her hips.
"All's fair in love and war?" Vastra offered.
"Are we having a war, then?" Jenny's eyes sparked. Vastra grinned, as much as a Siluran can grin.
"Are we at war? Why did nobody think to inform me?" Strax hurried into the parlour.
Vastra exchanged a look with Jenny, who sighed. "No, Commander. We are not at war."
"You distinctly said that all's fair in love and war," Strax protested.
"And you were eavesdropping on a private conversation between a lizard and her wife." Vastra retorted. "Now, my darling," she glared at the Sontaran.
"Very well. If anyone shall need me, I shall be preparing. To the glory of the Sontaran Empire!" Strax left the parlour, muttering to himself.
"Now, my darling, where were we?" Vastra purred.
"About to go to war, marm," Jenny replied, a devious glint in her eyes.
"So we were," Vastra circled around the younger woman, her eyes crinkled, her tongue slithering from her mouth.
"Aha! I knew that I'd heard that beautiful word!" Strax bounded back into the room.
"Strax!" The women cried in unison. The Sontaran looked at Vastra, then Jenny.
"Boy," he stared at her, "did I, or did I not, hear the word 'war'?"
"No," Jenny said firmly. "Now let us alone, for God's sake." Strax retreated. "Now, my darling," she kissed Vastra's neck, "let us do away with metaphors."
"I quite agree," Vastra ran her tongue down Jenny's dress, "you are wet, my darling."
"I've been delayed, my darling," Jenny continued to kiss her wife's scaly skin.
"I believe that I have just the cure," Vastra grinned, ferally, as she found her wife's sweet spot. Jenny gasped, clutching her lover's arms.
"I, love, you," Jenny said, snuggling close to her wife, post-coitus. Vastra pressed a soft kiss to Jenny's warm lips, pressing herself closer against Jenny's body.
"Good night, my darling Jenny."