Title: My Soul To Keep
Part Ten: Feel the Chemicals Kicking In…
Author: Roguie/ SunSpecOps/ Danae Bowen
Fandom: Eureka
Genre: Romance, Hurt/Comfort
Characters: Jo/Zane, ensemble.
Rating: T… with a strong "ish". Fair warning, this chapter contains the ISH in full on red caps. Not only for Zane and Jo demanding some, shall we say, physical attention, but also for angry Zane's gratuitous use of the "F" word a bit later on.
Spoilers: Everything up to I'll Be Seeing You
Summary: When a random experiment goes horribly awry, Jo is caught in the center. When fate altered her life the last time, a small piece of her had died. When her friends conspire to fix what had broken, can her heart handle it a second time around? Entirely AU after IBSY.
Disclaimer: Eureka obviously doesn't belong to me, I just like to borrow the characters and mutate their inner voices. Please don't sue; my house is small, my car is useless and my dogs are pains in the arse, but they're all I have.
A/N: Hee hee, oops, it seems my muse was so busy writing away that I forgot to type up part ten and post it for you guys. My bad! Hope you didn't mind the wait for this naughty little chapter.
A/N2: Reviews inspire my muse; I find Jo and Zane like a drug to her, but if they're the drug, reviews are the devil's whisper putting that needle in her arm. Please don't leave me hanging, and I promise in return that I won't leave you hanging.
Hey! Before you read any further, answer me this: my Jo/Zane Christmas fiction is written and ready for posting… since it's getting REALLY close, who wants it early? Or should I just wait until Christmas Eve to post it with my Primeval ones? :P~ Let me know!
~~~E~~~
They entered his home without words, his hands stalling her wandering fingers, her grin growing wider by the second. He cringed quietly as they walked into the first room, knowing it had been weeks since he'd last bothered to pick up around his place. The clothing he'd been stopping in to change out of lay tossed on his sofa; empty to go coffee cups from Café Diem lay piled in his kitchen sink, and God only knew what lay under the six inch pile of mail and magazines that lay on his coffee table.
Jo, for her part, didn't even blink. She shook her head quietly, the corner of her lips turned up as she began the quick process of clearing his clothes from the small living space. She turned to him after a moment as he watched her quietly, and lifted an eyebrow in question. "Unless you want me to do the same in the bedroom…"
Her laughter filled the small place as he disappeared into the next room before she'd even finished speaking. Twenty minutes passed as they tidied the small apartment, each lost in their own thoughts. Zane laughed outright as she discovered the series of exercise machines he kept in the spare bedroom. Carefully, she plucked two tank tops off the back of one machine's seat and one off its handle before backing out into the hallway.
"When'd you start working out to this," she gestured towards his gym equipment, "Kind of extreme?"
"What can I say, JoJo? You're a hard woman to keep up with." He winked. "Can't let you win every time."
She dropped the shirts she was holding to the floor and stalked into his bedroom, her trademark, "Just try it, Donovan," grin curling her lips into a wicked smile. Zane supposed he should've been surprised when he found himself flying, landing on his back across his mattress, air whooshing from his lungs, the new sheets he'd just put on the bed wrinkling from the force of his landing.
"You think a little muscle is going to help you?" Her grin turned more wanton than wicked as she climbed over him, pinning him to the bed with one knee pressed into his chest. "No matter what you do, Zane Donovan, I can take you any time I like."
Zane lost himself for a moment, his mind finding utter bliss in the moment his eyes met hers. He'd never seen such pleasure, such complete joy living in her gaze. When he drew back, taking in the lovely woman perched over him, the yellow sundress setting her flesh glowing, he willingly drowned in the absolute vision of perfection, beauty and mind blowing awe.
He was lost completely the moment Jo became physically aware of their surroundings. He was irrevocably lost the second his body responded to the call of hers pressed atop him, and the most gorgeous shade of pale red flushed Jo's neck and cheeks while her eyes danced with the will of the devil.
No jury could convict him for what happened next, not even the old Lupo could have argued his reaction. For more than two years they'd danced this dance; for more than two years he'd come out of similar situations with nothing more than bruised ribs, a raging migraine and a distinct need for an ice cold shower. For more than two years they'd ignored their physical demand for one another and now their bodies paid the price.
The change in her body was less noticeable than his own, but those dark eyes of hers glazed over and the barest whimper of raw need escaped her lips before her body turned to liquid heat in his hands and any semblance of sanity he had remaining abandoned him to burn in sensation.
Lips, teeth and tongues met in a frantic battle that neither were sure who started. His hand found purchase in her hair, holding her to him with more force than necessary, but when her own fingers found hold in his light shirt and fabric and buttons tore desperately as she so frantically required her skin against his, their dance could have had only one ending.
The bite of her short nails against the skin of his chest tormented him and his rough fingers trailed over her soft skin to wind into the light straps of her thin sundress. He recognized the will of his body to rip the small scraps of cloth from her shoulders to bare her to him, but somewhere through the fog of arousal he realized that he desperately wanted to see her in that dress again and his touch gentled. He slid the straps down, baring her flesh to his hungry gaze, inch by excruciating inch, and the building pleasure was almost better than tearing the cloth away.
How she'd found lingerie to match that dress he'd never know, but pale yellow lace now obstructed the view he craved so desperately. He growled low in his chest, the rumble of sound sending a fresh flood of desire through her already over heated body. She shifted atop him, pressing herself against his hardness, mewling with pleasure when the sensation shut down his higher reasoning and with a pinch and snap the bra came away in his fingers. His body shifted and, with a tortured groan, his lips unerringly found her breast, suckling her nipple into his warm, wet mouth. Teeth met overly sensitized skin and she cried out, her head falling back as he feasted from her flesh eagerly.
Clothing was in the way, way too much clothing and far too much in the way.
Jo forced Zane's head back, his glazed eyes meeting hers with the most wounded, concerned expression she'd ever witnessed. She lowered her lips to his, soothing him, soothing them before untangling their bodies and climbing off the bed.
She turned to look back at him propped up on one elbow, shirt torn open, bare chest rising and falling as he struggled for breath. It was a heady power she held as she raised her fingers to her lips, silencing his protest as his eyes focussed on her single digit.
Later, she'd admit to a streak of cruelty as she drew that single, long finger down her throat, over her collar bone, between her breasts, down her ribcage to her waistline. There she momentarily paused, fingering the fabric of her dress, pooled around her hips before allowing the thin material to skim down over her long legs, coming to rest in a small pile at her feet.
She took great pleasure in his eyes on her body, slowly stripping away her shoes, her stockings and the one last bit of lace that clung to her hips. When she was well and truly certain that she'd blown his mind, she trailed her gaze up his body, stopping pointedly at his fingers caught in the waistband of his paints, frozen as he'd been about to free himself from the confines of his zipper.
She laughed lightly, cocking her head to the side as she stalked closer to the bed, fully aware of his eyes pinned to her chest as she moved. "Really not one to complain, Zane, because I truly, truly love the look on your face right now, but seriously, it's been, what? Three weeks? You're looking at me like it's been forever."
She could tell the exact moment her words popped his bubble of euphoria and brought reality back into his lust addled brain. The glaze died from his eyes and stiffened fingers withdrew their hold on the zipper of his pants. His breathing came smoother and though she was fairly certain he remained aware of her body, at that point his eyes drifted up to hers, studying her for long moments.
"Damn it, Lupo, you had to go and speak, didn't you?" When her eyes flashed immediate hurt, he glared at her, shaking his head. "No, not like that. Stop thinking you know what's in my head. I promised Allison we'd be good, and with one look you have me panting and ready for you. Thank you for making my word to our friends completely useless." He ran his fingers through his hair and groaned quietly. "This is literally the hardest thing I've ever done, so when all this…" He waved his hand at her wordlessly. "Is over, you better appreciate it, 'cause JoJo, you'll have about five minutes to figure it all out, then you're gonna be back in this bed for hours. Maybe days. Really not sure yet."
He started grumbling under his breath, cursing himself, cursing Jo, cursing Eureka and the whole damned situation as he pulled himself out of the bed and walked towards his bathroom. "You get in that bed and be good. Help yourself to a shirt or something. I need a shower."
She listened, thoroughly confused as he continued to curse himself loud enough that his words travelled down the hallway and through both open doors. She could hear every nuance, his self loathing, his will power, the raw ache that invaded every word as he stepped under what she could only assume was the biting cold spray of unheated water.
She fought the instinct to join him, quite honestly the temperature of the water dissuaded any ideas she'd had to surprise him under the spray, and instead turned her attention to his bedroom.
It was funny how things struck her when she wasn't expecting them. When she was tidying, she'd noticed the items he'd added, but it hadn't occurred to her that certain things were missing as well. Like the robe she'd always left hanging on the back of his door. The hairbrush she'd always left on his dresser. That stupid picture of them taken at the town picnic just after they'd started dating. He always kept it in the crease of his mirror, she figured to taunt her, but he swore it was because he loved the look in her eyes as she held his gaze. Stupid little things that made her head swim as that now so very familiar feeling of dread chilled the blood in her veins and she started shivering uncontrollably.
She hated being pathetic. She hated being weak. Her father and brothers would never let her live it down if they knew how fast the tears sprung to her eyes as the heavy weight pressed down on her chest.
Her voice trembled and broke as she closed her eyes, bringing her knees to her chest and rocking herself slowly. "Zane?" She could hear the raw panic in her tone but for a single moment she didn't care who thought what of her. "Zane!"
He was through the door and had her in his arms in seconds, up on his lap, head tucked under his chin. Icy droplets of water chilled her warm flesh, but they helped, giving her something to focus on beyond the terror of the unknown.
She whimpered.
His arms tightened.
A tear dripped from her cheek and warmed his cooled flesh.
His teeth went through his lip as he silently cursed himself for doing this to her.
Time passed without the added pressure of thickened words, and as Zane rocked her, he finally understood. They had to tell Jo the truth, no matter what his own personal cost may be. There was no alternative. This life they'd fabricated for her was killing her softly, and she need to know the truth before they destroyed her very soul.
~~~E~~~
*Thump*
Stay quiet.
*Thump*
Don't ruin it.
*Thump*
A few more weeks.
*Thump*
Don't screw this up.
*Thump*
Think you're the only one with regrets?
*Thump*
Grow up.
*Thump*
Not everything is about you.
When he struck the punching bag so hard that it actually flung back at him, almost knocking him off balance, Zane knew it was time to stop. Stop lying. Stop pretending. Stop hurting her. Stop it all.
Fuck the DoD and their protocols.
Fuck Carter and his do gooder guilt.
Fuck Eureka and all it's accidents.
Fuck himself for going along with it in the first place.
Tonight he'd tell her everything and tomorrow he'd pack up and leave. They'd chase him down, his sentence wasn't up and they wouldn't let him get very far out of town before closing in on him, but he figured, what the hell. A few years in prison would be far more preferable than another minute in this insufferable town with a Lupo that didn't look at him like he'd created the world just for her.
~~~TBC~~~
In the next part:
She knew something was incredibly wrong. Zane, who always held her gaze, stared down at his food as though it were the most interesting experiment at Global Dynamics. His teeth were ground tightly together, every time his PDA beeped, he jumped. Worse yet, SARAH had tried to deny him entrance when he'd come over after a long day spent at Global. Jo had to blatantly order SARAH to open the door, arguing with the AI for more than five minutes before the bunker door finally swung inwards and the house went silent.
"Wow, really, just tell me."
Jo spoke into the silence, finally drawing Zane's uneasy gaze to her own. It was then that she noticed the stark terror that sparked in his eyes, held in check by his stoic expression. Her teeth clicked together with an audible snap and her expression changed from one of annoyance to one of uncertainty.
"Zane?"
"Yep." He nodded, something unreadable twisting his lips into a curve that was far less than a smile. "Zane Donovan. I'd like to say always have been, always will be, but you know us geniuses, someone always pushes the big red button."
Coming Soon!