I was lying in bed trying to think about what I could possibly say to my parents. 'Oh Hi mom and dad I just wanted to let you know that, you guys know Brit right? Well her and I have been having sex for the past couple years and now we've decided to date. So, what's for dinner?' This was going to be harder than I thought. I seriously wish there was another gay kid who I could ask for help! Oh wait, there was.
Kurt, do you mind if I ask you a question?
Ya, wats up?
Um... how did you like... come out? To your parents?
I just kinda came out with it. I was crying obv and I just said it. "dad I'm gay".
What did he say?
He said, "I know, Kurt. I've known since you were six."
That's it?
Yea. That's it.
Okay, thanks Kurt. And I threw my phone off the bed. I didn't care where it landed. Sure, it was probably easy for him I mean, dude is flaming. My parents had known about my um…popularity with the boys. They've seen multiple marks on my neck from Puck getting a little too into it. How were they going to react to me loving not only another girl, but Brittany. She was practically their daughter. I got out a notebook and pen and began trying to write out exactly what I was going to say.
Mom Dad, can I talk to you for a minute?
Well as you know. NO!
Brittany and I have. NO! God this is so hard.
I know that I've been with lots of boys in the past, but you know that Brit and I are very close. Well we've recently discovered that our feelings push past the best friend's title. Brittany and I have started dating.
That sounded…okay. Shit, I can't do this! I need to clear my head! I threw on a pair of running shorts and a tank before tying up my shoes. I didn't even grab my iPod because I needed to use this run to really figure all my shit out. Can I actually live as an out lesbian? I don't know if I'm strong enough yet. What will I do if my parent's disown me? I'm sure Brit's parents will be fine, they have always known their daughter was…not normal. They'd probably bake her a damn cake. Not to mention they love me so much and they know that I've helped her with her school and I've been protecting her for basically our whole lives. But my parent's? My dad was a doctor and my mom was a nurse. They work 18-hour shifts and are never home to begin with, but that doesn't mean I don't love them. I know they would stay home with me if they could but their jobs are so demanding. I wasn't even paying attention to where I was running; all I knew is that I needed to keep going for as long as I could. I didn't bring my phone so I had no idea what time it was or how long I'd been running.
When I came into realization of where I was, I was at the park Brit and I used to always come to when we were little. We used to swing on these swings, always making sure to swing at the same pace and stay together so we could be 'married'. We never went down the slides without each other and the sand box was our magical land. We would make the most elaborate sand houses (lines in the sand to signify a room, real elaborate I know). I was sitting on the swing just thinking about all of our times together. We had nearly 10 years behind us. Why did these stupid feelings have to get involved? It was so much easier back then.
Before the tears started rolling, I got up and started running again, with no destination. Next thing I knew, I was knocking on Brittany's door, I knew she'd be home. She opened the door and just stared at me, mouth agape. My tear stained cheeks was obviously a shocking sight for her, especially at three in the afternoon. She didn't say anything; she just stepped forward and hugged me. She rubbed my back, trying to get me to calm down.
"Sanny what's wrong? Where's your car?"
"I was on a run and I ended up here. I'm sorry. Brit, I'm so scared."
"What are you so scared of? You're the toughest lady I ever met!" We sat down on her front step. I couldn't even gain the courage to speak; I didn't want to hurt her. I couldn't hurt her.
"I… I'm so scared to come out to my parent's, to the school. I know your parent's will be fine but I'm so scared about what mine will say. What if they don't accept it! Did you know that Jacob Ben Israel showed up at my doorstep this morning questioning me about it? I was so blindsided, I thought we had more time before everyone found out and I could figure out what to say." And here I was, sobbing again. I don't know what's gotten into me lately with these tears, but I did not like it one bit.
"San please calm down. I did know that Jacob went to your house, because he came here right after. He asked me something like 'blonde bimbo cheerleader is busy fluffing it up with her Latina counterpart' or something."
"What did you say?" My heart stopped. It was all over now, this game, this denial. We were out because Brittany was so childlike that she thought no one could ever be mean or cruel.
"I told him that first he should mind his own business. And I said secondly, 'write what you want Jacob, Santana and I's relationship is one for the record books. I know that you're going to go on your blog and spill the beans that we are in ladylove with each other, and that's okay. Because Santana and I have something that most of the kids in our school would kill for, and that's true love. We have loved each other for so long and now we are finally going to be together.' And then I slammed the door in his face. San, breathe! Please!" I hadn't even realized I stopped breathing. We were officially out when it came to William McKinley High School. I felt sick. Not because I was scared though, but because of her words.
If she could be so brave to tell the school's biggest gossip, what was stopping us now? Sure, it was going to be tough telling my parent's but I was certain that anything is possible when I have this beautiful girl by my side.
"Brittany, I… Thank you." Her face went from worried to completely confused.
"Wait, what? What did I do?"
"You did what I didn't have the courage to do. I… I thought I would feel weird once we were 'out'. Like my whole world was going to change and all of a sudden, we wouldn't be Santana Lopez and Brittany Pierce anymore. Like the world was going to change us. But, now that he's going to write it all over the internet, I… I just don't care."
"So… what are you saying? I'm kinda confused."
"I'm saying that we're coming out to our parent's. Tonight." I grabbed her hand and dragged her up to her room. If I was going to do the most stressful thing in my life later tonight, I needed to relieve my tensions, NOW! I barely had the door shut before we were both ripping our clothes off, needing to feel each other. Once my underwear was successfully off and I was completely naked, she slammed me up against the wall, pinning my hands above my head. I needed to get my hands free, needed to touch her. She finally obliged and let my hands go and they went straight to her hips to pull her closer. I broke from her lips and trailed down from her neck before latching onto her nipple. I took it in my mouth and sucked ferociously waiting for it to harden. As soon as it was hard enough, I roamed to the other one, not wanting it to be left out. I couldn't stop myself; I stepped forward and slammed her down onto her bed.
Without warning took three fingers and slammed it straight into her core. She let out a scream and tried to catch her breath. I leaned up to kiss her and our tongues were dancing. She was a little sloppy, but understandably because she was leaning closer and closer to the edge with every push of my fingers.
"San, oh my god, I love you so much. So… S-So much. Don't stop, do not stop!" Her voice was shaky and that voice alone was sending me quickly unraveling. She was the only person who didn't have to touch me to get me to cum, hard. I didn't want to slow down; I wanted to make her finish fast, because I was close. I took my mouth and placed it right over her clit. Her eyes flung shut and she began muttering words I couldn't make out. My fingers still fast at work, I took her swollen nub and began rolling it between my tongue. She was unraveling; I could feel it. Her back was arched and as if her high-pitched scream wasn't enough, she grabbed onto my hair and seemed like she couldn't unlatch herself. As she rode out her orgasm, I felt myself unravel as well. My eyes started to blur and I pulled my fingers out of her before lapping them clean of my girlfriends juices.
I hopped up on the bed and nestled into her. Yep, coming out and possible disowning by my parents was worth it if I could lay next to this girl everyday for the rest of my life.