AN: Thanks for reviewing 'n' shtuff guys~ C: I loves chu~! During the survival period, I'll refer to main Roxy and imaginary Axel as the Red Team and real Axel and his imaginary Roxas as the Blue Team! :D Now that we have that sorted out, this goes out to the fellow soul who will soon be busy with exams. I feel your pain!
Chapter 10: I Know Nothing About Survival.
Red Team: Roxas' POV
Right. What can I use to make a tent? I wandered through the tropical forest in search of something, anything, to make shelter out of. Palm leaves and sticks? I could use some strips of green bark as rope... but I don't have a knife. A sharp rock? Could I tie long pieces of tall grass together to form a rope? I plucked two blades of long grass and tested out the possibility. No, they'll slip apart because they're waxy. Hmmm... I could use strips of cloth from my shirt... I pulled my shirt over my head and tried to ignore the whistle I heard from Axel, not fifty feet away.
"Lookin' good, Roxy!" he teased.
"Keep making that fire, asshole!" I shouted back.
"Well it looks like I just lit one under your ass!" I chuckled at his sense of humour. I had ripped my shirt into shreds during the brief conversation and began to tie enormous palm leaves together, some as big as my torso. I heard large snaps to my right and looked to find Axel snapping huge branches off a tree.
"Those won't burn. They're wet," I told him.
"I already have a fire going. I'm going to put them close enough to start drying them out. Besides, we'll need some of them to make a tent," he replied while he snapped of another branch. "Ouch! Dammit!" he swore, recoiling and holding his hand. I dropped the leaves and clamored over the bushes to him. I took his right hand away from his chest and almost laughed.
"Congats, Axel. You just experienced your first boo-boo." I smirked at the tiny scratch. It wasn't even bleeding. I knew it must feel painful to him though because he'd never built up a pain tolerance. His eyebrows were pinched together and instead of taking back his hand, he laced his fingers with mine.
"Roxas... It's so weird being... physical. There's so many things I've never felt before... And I don't know how to explain the one I'm feeling." I looked him in the eyes. Confusion reigned in the emerald orbs.
"Try to. I'll help you with everything you're feeling, okay?"
"Well..." he started. "I feel pain. But not like my hand. It's dull and it's not in my hand. It's here," he said, bringing our entwined hands to his chest, right over his heart. "And I'm warm. But not because of the humidity. And when I look at you... I really start to feel weird." I tried to hold back any blush that was trying to make its way onto my face, but it was hard.
"How so?" I ask in a low voice.
"I... I want to be closer to you every time I look at you. It's like magnets. Except I get warmer... But not all over or anything, just-" he cut himself off with a deep blush. Axel blushing. Wow. I never thought I'd see the day. "I think... I think I'm really attracted to you or something." Damn. I had been trying to forget about that kiss and write it off as a friendly gesture, but it looked like it was not so. My face turned hot. "Can I... kiss you again?" he asked, so sweetly and innocently it was like he was a child. I don't say anything, but just nod slightly, going a shade darker of pink.
He took his left hand and cradled the back of my head there, slowly bringing his face towards mine. It felt like it took forever, but his lips met mine. It felt like an electric shock, and I'm sure he felt it too because he jumped back for a second. Only for a second though, before he kissed me again. I felt light headed and I couldn't think. All I knew was that Axel was kissing me and it was... Electrifying. He kissed me over and over, experimenting with little pecks and longer kisses, lingering on my lips. I lost track of the number, and didn't register anything until somehow I ended up on the ground, his shirt knotted in my fists, and he laid on top of me. He looked at me, wide eyed, and I just looked back at him. It took a moment, but he seemed to realize what happened and blushed.
"I- I'm sorry, Roxas, I don't know how that happened. I'm sorry." He got to his feet hastily and offered me a hand. I slowly took it, trying to collect myself. "I'll, uh, keep getting firewood and some branches for the shelter, okay?" I nodded and he left. I heard several snaps before I finally shook myself out of my daze and went back to the leaves I'd abandoned.
Blue Team: Roxas' POV
Axel told me to sit and look pretty while he set up camp. I'm pretty sure he just wanted to wack it in privacy. Oh, he planned on violating me later, but we'd need some form of shelter before that. I sat on a log in a small clearing and just stared at the sky. Nothing really matters. Not Axel, not me, not winning this stupid thing. I hope I die before Axel gets back. After all, I'm pretty good bait for a bear or something. Are any animals here? Any dangerous ones? Maybe Axel would be eaten and this whole mess could be done. I don't care if I never have a permanent body, I don't care if I disappear. I don't care about much at all. I sighed once more before the rustling came from the opposite side of the clearing.
Axel was back with wood, tinder, and huge leaves. He ordered me to use the logs and leaves to make a tent. "Make it snappy," he said. "I want to fuck you while you have a temporary body. That way, when you have a permanent body, none of the marks I make now will show up. It's like a blank canvas." I begged any god out there to smite this asshole with lightning, but no such luck. I took as long as I could with the tent. Axel got pissed with the slow progress and promised a worse punishment. What is this, a male dominatrix and an unwilling victim? The only problem is that he could make more than this aspect of my life hell.
Before we met the other set of half-souls, Axel would put lewd, disturbing thoughts in my head that should never be thought by anyone. He knew a 'spell' that would make me semi-physical for an hour, and in that hour, he would unleash all the sins of the earth onto me. Needless to say, it was awful. I shudder to think what it will feel like now.
Axel wasn't always sick. He was nice when he was little. The last time I remember him being nice to me and not using me as his little rape toy was when he was eleven. That was when his mother left. His father was out of town and his mom's boyfriend (the one she'd been cheating on his father with) raped him. He became devoid of any love and I melted and corroded into what I am today: empty.
Axel laid more palm leaves on the ground underneath the little canopy I'd begrudgingly made, and yanked me hard by the wrist on top of them. I let my eyes droop. Who cares? I can't fix this and no one cares about a boy they cannot see, so why cry anymore? Why care anymore? Why...
"What the fuck." I hear him state. "You're crying? Roxas. You haven't cried in years. What is wrong with you?" I open my eyes and lift my hands to my eyes. Sure enough, I was crying.
"What is wrong with me? You. You are what's wrong with me. You killed the inside that doesn't exist in me, Axel, and you were supposed to fix the nothingness, not replace it with pain." I felt angry. Axel slapped me across the face- hard.
"Don't speak to me like that. How could I ever fix you when I have nothing inside either? You don't understand. You never have." He began to crumple and pull away from me. "You're the only one who used to make me feel whole again. Now you have as much love in your heart as I do."
"I don't have a heart, Axel. Hearts are for the living," I reply.
"Well right now you do! Why don't you just use it for once!" he shouted. He curled up into a ball and started to cry. It reminded me... of that night... His father wouldn't even look at him and told him it was his fault. Blamed him for his mom leaving. I remember how badly I wanted to hurt him. I used to be like my flesh twin, so why couldn't I try to be loving for the piece of Axel that still cared?
I touched Axel lightly on the shoulder. He looked up at me angrily. I wiped away his tears gently and pulled him to stand. I held him close, even made the move to kiss him. I kissed him softly, and he responded softly in turn. He hugged me gently and began to unfold his shell like a tiny blooming flower. He loved me gently, so unlike him, and made the night a gentle one.
AN: OMG real Axel has a heart?! O-O