Hello, lovlies! So, I'm sure you'll laugh at me, but I totally only just realized how to properly put this comment up (without accidentally stumbling across it - I found it because i was looking this time! And will be able to easily find it again ;) ). Sorry for not doing this in previous chapters.

Just wanted to let you know that I am writing finals at the moment so my chapters might be a little less regular. I'm really, really sorry (pleaaaaasseeee don't hate me).

I hope you enjoy this one - I wanted to start shedding some light on the mystery around the Little parents' deaths.

xoxox

Sarwolf

Chapter 10

And so the weeks wore on and I settled into life as a Hogwarts student. I settled into my classes (excelling in all of them, of course) and my little group of friends. It was unfortunate, but our packed schedules ensured that Scar and I didn't see each other very often, which meant that we made sure to carve out a specific amount of time every week to hang out – mainly in the astronomy tower, where we had found a tiny spot of relatively reliable wifi, allowing us to catch up on our shows, dish about our weeks and laugh as we used to.

In fact, things had become downright normal – even busy. I had no time to think about my parents, which made me feel even guiltier than usual, or worry about what a bitch Priscilla was. I was swamped with more homework that I knew what to do with, and even though it was easy, it was such a mission to get through. The stress was something I understood, and could deal with, though. After nearly seventeen years of leading a double life, I was starting to get used to dealing.

And I was dealing, or so I thought.

Until the supremely annoying and embarrassing happened. Before I had come to Hogwarts, I had repetitive horrible dreams – but I could never remember the details. I figured it was about the awful night of my parents' death, but only because Scar had to crawl into my bed to stop me from screaming. I, apparently, talked in my sleep, and the words that I said ranged from "Mom! Dad! No!" to "I'm so sorry, please wake up."

I hadn't had one of these awful night terrors since a week before Hogwarts, but about a month after arriving, I (apparently) had another one.

To be honest, I couldn't remember much, except the overwhelming terror, the oppressive heat from the night that must have translated into the dream, and screaming until my throat was hoarse.

I woke up in the hospital wing the next morning to my sister sitting by my and watching me worriedly and Scorpius sleeping in a chair with his head of the foot of my bed, a ragged voice and shaking limbs the only clue as to what had happened the night before.

"Scar? What happened? Why am I here?" I croaked, looking around, and wincing at the pain in my head.

She cocked her head at me. "You seemed to be awake when we brought you here, but I knew you wouldn't remember anything. I thought this had stopped, Aly. You said it had stopped!"

"Um, not technically said so explicitly, Scarlett." I coughed, trying to make my voice less gravelly. "And it had stopped. I haven't had an episode for ages."

"Don't you think this has gone on long enough?" Scar asked me exasperatedly. "Come on, I've been your nursemaid for long enough to get an explanation of these crazy things. Honestly."

"Well, I'm sorry to have bothered you, then," I snapped. "I won't trouble you like this again. Why am I even here in the hospital wing? I'm not sick!" I tried to get up from the awful bed, longing for my double back in South Africa – in my green room, with my cool, hipster-y decorations. As I shifted my legs, Scorpius shot out of bed.

"What! How! I'll restrain her, you –"

Realizing that I was conscious and able to look him straight in the eye without shrieking, he relaxed. "Hey, Al. Are you okay? You scared us, you know."

At his gentle words, I slumped, embarrassed. My sister had lost too much sleep over me, and Scorpius didn't need this kind of worry in his life.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Of course I'll tell you." I sighed, deciding to be careful about what I said. If I said something wrong, I wouldn't have my sister or my friends – they couldn't know. "It's just about the car crash that Mom and Dad died in. You know, I was in the car with them, and I guess it got to me more than it should have. That's all, guys; it's just a really bad reliving of that night. That's it."

Yeah, I was full of bullshit. That wasn't it. I had failed to add my parents dying in my arms, or the fight we had – I was being petty and stupid, as usual – just before the crash. My last words to my parents before the car crash were terse – "Fine. But I wanted to stay at the party longer, and I hope you know that."

And the voice after the crash? They would get me committed. Just remember, little girl, this is all on you.

It was all on me. Why couldn't I have died as well? Why did I have to watch the life bleeding from their eyes? Why did they have to tell me not to be scared? It wasn't fair. Just thinking about it – for the first time in weeks, I realized guiltily – made me want to curl up into a ball and die.

But I couldn't. I couldn't hurt Scar like that.

So I smiled at her, masking the all-encompassing pain that I felt would never really go away, and told myself to make a plan – a silencing charm around my bed? Talking to the nurse? Taking a sleeping potion?

I'd do them all to take away the creased from between Scar and Scorpius's eyes.

I moved to get up again. Time for Operation Act Normal.

"So, breakfast?" I said pleasantly. "And I don't want to be late for classes, I—"

"Oh, no you don't!" Suddenly, the nurse arrived from her office. She was usually a temperate character, but now, her eyes were wide with anger. "Get back into bed. You two, out of my sickbay. The girl needs rest."

"No, wait, please!" The two in question looked a bit shocked – even indignant. I needed to talk to them before they went. "Madame, can I at least ask them for a favour?"

She inclined her head sharply and waited for me to say what I needed to. Realizing that I wouldn't get any privacy, I sighed.

"Sorry, guys, really. Sorry to have done this again. Scar, I'll see you later." She bristled, but at my warning glance she strode out of the hospital. I hoped she wouldn't be too angry later. "Scorp? Please apologize to Cassie for me. I'm sorry to have woken her. And please don't let anybody visit me? I can't deal with their pity right now, okay?" At his quick frown, I asked again. "Please, Scorp. I just can't. Don't tell anyone about what this is all about."

He didn't look happy about it, but Scorp nodded once and patted my shoulder. "Just make sure you're okay, Al." And with that, he swept off to breakfast, his robes billowing behind him.

The Matron swept back into my curtained-off area of hospital. "Right. So, bad dreams? I want you to take this." She held out a white bottle without a label, filled with a milky white potion. "It's a sleeping potion, and last night was quite eventful."

I winced. "What actually happened?"

She clucked disapprovingly. "Your sister, Cassandra, and Scorpius dragged you in here sometime around three AM. You were screaming and sobbing, and they could barely restrain you, you were thrashing so much. Your eyes were wide open but were rolling back in their sockets. Scarlett seemed terrified, to be honest. She made Cassandra go back to her dormitory after we managed to drug you into a restful sleep, but Scorpius refused to go – said he needed to be here when you woke up. You need even more sleep, Little, so you are staying here all day, you are going to take this potion, and then you are going to sleep through the night, and then you may resume classes." She stood up. "Am I clear?"

Usually, I would have argued, but the small lady suddenly seemed formidable, and I was tired. I nodded meekly and she pressed the potion into my hand. Downing it, I felt sleep come upon me almost immediately.

Suddenly, I jerked awake, probably due to the incessant growling of my stomach. Sitting up, I realized that the Hospital Wing was silent and dark – even the Matron's office. I sighed, wondering where I could get some food.

My stomach growled again.

I sighed, resigning myself to hunger. Jumping out of bed, I decided to find the bathrooms at the very least – water would certainly be welcome. I checked the time, and was surprised to find that it was already one in the morning.

As I took a step away from my bed, I tripped over something and landed on my knees. Grumbling, I trying to see what I had tripped over, but I couldn't.

I did, however, hear it.

"OUCH!" A boy's voice was loud in the oppressive stillness of the room. I had my wand out immediately, and hoped it wasn't anybody who would hurt me.

"No, no, sorry Alyss – it's just me." Suddenly, Albus's lanky form appeared from nowhere, and I jolted in shock.

"Where the hell did you come from?" I hissed.

"Sh, it's okay, I have an invisibility cloak," he whispered. "No time to explain!" He rapidly cast various silencing spells around my bed, and grinned at me in a strange crooked-yet-boyish-and-mischievous way.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, annoyed that anybody had seen me in the hospital. I didn't want my new friends to see me in this fit of weakness.

"Um, I brought food. Thought you'd be hungry. But I had to sneak in in case Matron thought I was trying to be creepy, or something. I'm not, you know. Being creepy. I fell asleep waiting for you to wake up, and –" He ran his hands through his hair, and shifted from foot to foot, suddenly flustered. It was adorable – as adorable as I had come to find his nerdiness in Transfiguration.

"You brought me food?" That was one thing that would always mollify me. Yum. Albus was no longer counted as annoying.

How could anyone so adorable and awkward and mischievous be?

He deserved a hug, so I gave one to him, wrapping my arms around his waist and squeezing. He stiffened, as if he was still expecting me to yell at him, but then bent down to hug me back. He was so tall, it was almost difficult. But his face rested on the top of my head and he sighed.

"Is that all you got from that, Little?" He laughed. And then let go, much to my chagrin. Suddenly, he had whipped out several plates and was telling me what to do when I was finished. "Leave them out for the house-elves – one will come around before morning so that you don't get caught." He smiled, proud of himself, grabbed his cloak, and began to walk out of the Hospital.

"Oh! And Alyss! Are you feeling better?" The beautiful crease between his brows made an abrupt entrance – like when he was writing an essay – and he cocked his head and turned around with a flourish. "I'm sorry, I meant to ask."

My stomach fluttered, and I was flattered that he cared about my health.

"All good, Albus – I'll be out tomorrow, okay? Thanks for the food." I smiled him, shifting on the spot. He smiled back, and then was off into the night.

I laughed at myself, staring at the space where he had left the food.

Stop overthinking, I told myself. He was just being a nice friend.

And that's all it was – Albus was completely oblivious to the little crush on him that I had harbored. He was just my super good friend – especially with Scorpius and Rose's tentative flirting and Cassie's occupation with her elusive Hufflepuff.

He couldn't have any idea of what he made me feel.