It had been three days or so since Valmorren left for supplies. Ana was making herself something to eat as she continued to think to herself. She missed Valmorren and hoped he was alright. The crutch leaned against the wall next to her. She could mostly walk on her own, but there were times when the crutch was needed. Ana smiled as she finished cooking. She was very thankful for Valmorren. It was odd how things could play out so well. In the back of her mind, she felt something was going to happen- whether it was good or not. Ana lifted up the spoon to her face, the heat pressing itself to her face. She blew on the food gently before eating it carefully. Although she adored spices and fine dining, the food Valmorren had stocked up was a good substitute. While rummaging through his pantry-in-the-wall, she had found a tattered notebook of recipes Valmorren had written down. The ones with stars beside them were his own (which had, in fact, taken up over three-fourths of the book). Ana followed some of the recipes she could make with what she had carefully. Most of them tasted like they did back in Cyrodiil despite there not being much on the ingredients list. She would have to ask Valmorren how he came up with them when he got back.
Looking upward, she noticed a tiny bug skittering along the wall. She tensed up and continued to eat, looking away to ignore it. She stood up carefully and took her food with her as she slowly limped towards the bed. She set the food down on the floor and pulled out another book she found in Valmorren's desk from under her pillow. Her eyes gazed down curiously at the brown-red cover. A string hung limply from the top of it. Ana ran her hand gently over the cover, feeling the old, grainy texture underneath her fingers. While Valmorren was gone, she had grown bored and decided to look around with her new mobility. While going through the desk, she had found the book underneath a false panel. She felt her adrenaline spike as she opened up the book for the first time. She had quickly shut it, not knowing if Valmorren would be mad for getting into his things like that. Alas, curiosity had gotten the better of her and she peered into the hidden contents. She wondered for a few moments why Valmorren had something like this.
"It must be a journal…" she mumbled to herself as she lay eyes on the first page. There was a date in the top right, the handwriting on the page surprisingly neat and elegant. Ana had pictured his handwriting to be more messy or natural as his recipe book. He must've taken his time when writing in his journal. Ana guessed this was his escape from the world- a place he could let all of his thoughts out without worrying about anyone else seeing them. Ana shut the book again, feeling guilty about looking at his personal writings. She frowned as she glared at the rusty face of the notebook. It seemed to be taunting her, her curiosity burning inside her. Ana sighed and finally opened up the journal, reading the first entry.
20th of First Seed 4E 186
The commander gave each of us one of these journals to write down our reports in. I'm not sure what nonsense shall come of this, but I have to follow through with his orders. My report today:
-This feels stupid.
-No prisoners have been talking to any of us.
-My bunkmate is too loud and needs to shut his mouth.
That is all for my report today. Hopefully, there is an actual use for these later on.
~V. Adhire
Ana read his signature. It was so… elegant? Beautiful? She didn't know how to describe it, but she enjoyed looking at the handwriting. So this was a journal full of reports? That might've been why the handwriting was so neat. She skipped ahead, trying to find something other than neatly-printed observations. She soon stopped on a page where the handwriting was rushed and sloppy. She frowned, reading it carefully in order to make sense of what it was saying.
30th of Frostfall 4E 188
I feel like such a moron, but it was worth it. I despise writing in thing still, especially for the purpose it served beforehand. My commander has told everyone I am a traitor. I'm quickly writing this down in hopes of changing its purpose. I will never look at those blasted reports ever again, for they already haunt my every waking hour. I am on the run and will never return to the Thalmor ever again. They are all just lustful for power- even if it means taking out one of their own.
I hate this job. Gods, save me.
~V. Adhire
Ana finished reading through it and stared blankly at the page. She slowly went back and read through some of the reports. They were highly detailed and took up almost five or six pages each. His personal entries were much, much shorter than the reports. Each report gave intimate details of how the prisoner responded to certain torture methods, what information they gave, and what procedures had been completed. Ana slammed the book shut, her stomach churning after reading them. She wondered if the guards holding her prisoner had these same types of journals. It made her nauseous to think of her reactions and their methods being written down in a notebook to just to be examined by a sick, twisted Altmer. Ana closed her eyes and took in a deep breath before opening up the journal again on a page much farther ahead than the reports. Most of them listed how many days he was in hiding before detailing what he did that day. Ana spent hours reading through them until she came to the more recent entries- or at least the entries from when he found her.
12th of Last Seed 4E 197
I found a girl dying of infection and starvation today. Although she seems safe, I have to keep a careful eye on her. Her leg is badly wounded, pus and bone were coming out of her skin. I couldn't stand by and let someone die- innocent or not. Hopefully, my empathy doesn't kill me after all these years of hiding.
~V. Adhire 4E 197
.
15th of Last Seed
The girl is still unconscious, but my magic is healing her leg up quickly. She's an Altmer like me. I found her things nearby her, some broken, some bent. Her sword looks like fine craftsmanship. It'd be horrible for any soldier or smith to find out it's shattered.
The girl mumbles in her sleep. Sometimes, she jumps and begins to scream. I calm her down with my magic, but some nights, I cannot rest because of her terrified screams. I wonder what she is dreaming about. It surely must be horrid to sound that scared. Anyways, I hope tomorrow will bring her to consciousness.
~V. Adhire
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25th of Last Seed 4E 197
It's been ten days since Ana had woken up. She's been healing fairly well, so hopefully, she will be able to walk. I feel reassured to still know she is in a similar place as me. I sometimes think to myself what would've happened if she and I had met before we "fell from grace", so to speak. I am grateful for having met her. She's quite an oddball, but in a good- and sometimes adorable- way. She enjoys going on and on about the littlest things. Like, for example, she was telling me about her taste in food. Of course, she was a noble who enjoyed spices but never knew my secret to making simple foods with great flavor. She would rave on and on about how my food almost tasted better than in Cyrodiil! I have to admit, I enjoy her company very much.
Our supplies are running low, however, so I have to leave some time to get more supplies. Maybe after she can use the crutch I'm making her, will I take my leave. I wonder if she will ever notice or return the affections I have for her. Ah, well. This entry is getting a tad bit long, so I'll end it here.
~V. Adhire
Ana read each page with a giddy expression. Her heart fluttered as Valmorren detailed his affections for her and told about the little things he enjoyed from her. He did, however, explain things he disliked about her. Those days were the same days he'd snap out of nowhere before apologizing to her. Ana closed the book carefully after reading the last entry and hugged it. It didn't matter if he had done such gruesome reports. It was a little under ten years ago, and his remorse is express greatly within the journal. He was someone with a big heart, and that is what Ana loved about him the most.
Suddenly, she heard the door unlatch, light pouring in. A large bag was lowered slowly down to the ground before a familiar figure began descending the ladder. Valmorren latched the door and hopped off the ladder. He took off his helmet, sighing in relief.
"Sorry, it took so long, Ana. I made sure to get plenty of supplies for the both of-" he stopped as soon as he laid eyes on the journal still in Ana's hands. Ana realized what he was staring at and mentally scolded herself. She completely spaced the fact she was still holding it.
"Val, I-" she began, but Valmorren held a hand up, gesturing for her to stop. His face was almost unreadable. Annoyance, shock, and anger were hinted at as he slowly walked over and plucked it from her grasp. He put it back where it belonged silently.
"How much did you read?" Valmorren finally asked in a low, almost hushed, voice after standing straight up. He sounded nonchalant, which freaked Ana out. Ana opened and closed her mouth, trying to find a good answer. She decided to be blunt about it. Better to rip the bandage off fast rather than take her time.
"All of it. Well, not all but most of it. The reports… they were-"
"Terrible, I know," he interrupted again. He sighed and sat down, thinking to himself with furrowed brows.
"Are you upset?" Ana asked, mentally punching herself. It was such a stupid question to ask even though the answer was obviously 'yes'. Valmorren didn't answer her question.
"Do you think any differently of me?" he asked her, looking her straight in the eyes. His eyes were… sad? Sad and hurt would be the best way to describe it. His brows were still furrowed and his body looked tense. It was as if he was afraid of her answer.
"No, o-of course not!" Ana reassured, "The reports… they were years ago. They're history."
Valmorren's expression shifted. He relaxed a little, but his eyes never changed.
"I'm sorry I read through it. I know I shouldn't have, but curiosity got the better of me and-" Ana continued, beginning to ramble an apology until Valmorren began to chuckle.
"You're… You're alright. Do I feel ashamed? Yes. Some- no, all. All of those reports I feel ashamed of. I do give you props, however, for finding the journal itself. I thought I was clever when hiding it. But, that also must explain where the extra books under my desk came from," he said with a sheepish smile. Ana felt relief wash over her as he said that. Valmorren looked to his left and noticed the crutch leaning against the wall.
"So you can walk without it now?" he asked, changing the subject.
"Yeah. Sometimes I still need it, though. Thank you again for it," she replied. Valmorren nodded in response. The two sat quietly for a minute before Valmorren stood up and gathered the new supplies. He began to put them all away, the soft sound of clinking filling the room every now and then. He soon set his bag down and began to take his armor off. Ana noticed something flicker in his eyes. Fear? Suspicion? Hope? Excitement? It seemed to be every one of those emotions one after the other in a flash. Ana soon noticed why as he took the chestpiece off. An amulet of Mara glinted as the light from the room hit it. Ana felt her heart beat fast as she stared at the metal charm. Valmorren knew what she was staring at and began to speak.
"I know noble Altmer usually marry based on lineage, but… we're both special cases, aren't we?" he joked awkwardly. Ana snapped out of her trance and looked up at him with wide eyes. Valmorren looked unsure of this and was anxiously awaiting a reply.
"Yes."
"Yes… what?" he asked in confusion.
"Yes, I want to marry you, Val," she repeated. Valmorren's eyes widened. He laughed breathlessly for a second before laughing wholeheartedly. Ana grinned as he grew giddier with each passing moment. He rushed to her and hugged her tightly. Ana returned the hug, giggling at him. Valmorren caught her off guard as he held her face and kissed her right on the lips. Ana was shocked at first but eventually wrapped her arms around him in a loving embrace. He lifted her up more and looked at her with eyes full of adoration. The two sealed their affection with a night they'll always remember.