It was the day of the biggest Quidditch game of the year: Gryffindor vs Slytherin. Harry and his band of thugs were on their way to the stadium. There was an extensive pregame show, so they could all get there at the same time, and Harry could still get ready for the game without feeling rushed.
They were headed down the long flight of stairs from Gryffindor tower, when Ron started complaining about how hungry he was.
"I'm so hungry, I could eat a magic hippopotamus!" bellyached Ron.
"Yeah, yeah, fine, I got this." said Harry. He led them down a hallway, and to a particular painting. "Look at this painting. See how the red undertones compliment the theme of the downtrodden ambitions of the HORRIBLE DEMONS INSIDE THE PAINTING?!" and he ripped the painting from the wall and threw it to the ground.
Behind the painting was a hallway. Down the hallway was the chamber with the oil drum full of potato salad.
Ron slowly read the sign. "Have... all... you... want."
"Have all I want?" Ron yelled happily, and dove head first into the potato salad. The surface level of the potato salad began to drop as Ron gorged himself.
"Hey! Come on! That's enough. Let's capsize this bounce-house before we're late!" hollered Neville. "I don't want to miss all the ball-handling at the game!"
The others agreed that it was time to go, so Ron emerged from the drum and shook himself clean. He removed a handful of potato salad from deep in the front of his pants and offered it to Neville.
"I got you some potato salad, but I think this handful is tainted." Ron chuckled. He grabbed a to-go box, filled it up, and followed the others to the stadium.
Harry went to the locker room to get ready, and the rest of group went to watch the pregame show.
"Ohhhh, I think I ate too much potato salad!" Ron said for all of the world to hear. "I might be sick soon!"
Hermione and Neville scooted away from him a bit, then turned their attention to the rickety stage set up in the middle of the field. The pregame show was Luna Lovegood dancing around with sparklers. She was having a lot of fun, but everyone in the stands looked confused.
"Ugggh!" power-groaned Ron. "I think there's potato salad in my lungs!" he shoveled another handful into his mouth.
"Stop eating it then!" hissed Hermione.
"But it's soooo good!" creaked Ron, forcing yet more potato salad into his mouth. No, wait. The bench beneath him creaked, not Ron.
"Ron, I cannot believe how dumb you are!" said Hermione. "You're gonna get the wizard barfs! And that's only if you stop eating right now!"
Ron, his hands shaky, finished off not only the rest of the potato salad, but the box as well. He began to make heaving sounds. "Huurngghgnghgnuhhguh!"
Neville and Hermione scooted further yet from Ron, and cast shield spells to separate themselves from the impending hurlsplosion.
With a really loud, but not quite deafening crack, Ron fell through the bleachers. A thump followed as he hit the ground. Hermione and Neville looked down into the hole Ron had made. There, they saw him, laying in a crater, fast asleep.
Suddenly, there was a scream from the stands to their right!
"You're doing great, Luna!" screamed the voice.
"Phew." annunciated Hermione. "Usually, a scream at the end of a chapter means someone got butt-touched. I guess it didn't happen this time."