The Hitchhikers Guide
A Definition
Lazy-Ass Fanfic writers.
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is a very strange book. It can have whole pages devoted to something as tedious as "Making a Cup of Tea - The Proper Way" By Arthur Dent, and it can have less than a line devoted to whole Planets, For example, the Planet Zarniak. Which was summed up in just 3 words "Great for Virgins."
This is due to a number of reasons. Some things, really don't warrant explanation. After all, Not everybody knows exactly how the species of Edaarr have 3 sexual outer organs, and yet still managed to die out 3 minutes into the Universe's creation, but then again, Not everybody wants to.
Others however, are continuously brought up at Hitchhiker Conventions, as they do not have a Definition in the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. One such question frequently asked by the Modern Interstellar Hitchhiker, is "Why do some Fanfiction Writers start writing an exceptionally brilliant story, involving all my favourite characters, but then suddenly...Disappear?"
The answer has been widely disputed amongst the bosses at "Fanfics 'R' Us-Your fanfictions made Ready to Read", but the answer that comes up most often is this.
The average fanfiction writer is a Lazy-Ass bugger.
This verdict was reached, not because of many nights spent awake contemplating the matter, but because there was once a Fanfiction Writer. His name was Phillipe. And he wrote what were widely regarded as some of the best stories in the Galaxy. Until he got bored, stopped writing, and eventually ran off to join the circus.
He now works as a Lion Tamer in the Russian State Circus.
Or rather, the correct word would be "Worked". As, one day, He got bored of that as well, and left the circus. Whilst in the middle of a highly dangerous act, he calmly held the Tiger's head, and announced that he would be leaving to research some matters that "Were highly important" to him, and that "Needed Finishing."
The Tiger of course, did not understand a word that was said. And ate him accordingly.
This is, of course, unshakeable evidence, that all those born with Brilliant minds, are prone to suffer horrible deaths. Or to go and work in a Circus. Either way, The consequences are the same.
You wear Funny shoes and a lot of make-up.