"The mission was a success?" Dr. Yamamoto asked although he had heard about it on the news at the time.
"Very much so. We arrested 'Akamu and his lieutenants. Several of the cartel were killed. We seized three and a half tons of cocaine. And we blew up four of their boats."
"Were they surprised that you were a part of the raid?"
"I think so," Steve said. "A couple of them asked how we had come back from the grave."
"So they hadn't looked for your bodies."
"No. Luckily for us. Although with us hiding at Pearl, they wouldn't have found us," Steve said in grim satisfaction.
"And the mole? Did 'Akamu admit who it was?" the doctor asked.
"We used their phones to trace the calls. That's when we found out their insider worked for the Governor's office. Denning was furious, as you can imagine. And apologetic to an almost alarming degree."
"He knew the mole nearly got you killed. Certainly the expected reaction was anger," Dr. Yamamoto suggested.
"Yes," Steve had to agree. "But he wasn't responsible for his computer technician going off the rails. He'd gone through the same background check as the rest of the staff. There is no policy to continually check employee bank accounts to determine if they are on the take."
"No, I don't suppose there would be. That seems like it crosses a line we don't want to consider."
"Precisely," Steve agreed grimly. "Ultimately, we completely busted down the cartel, found the mole, and had Captain Stoddard arrested. It felt like a sure win."
"Were the reunions with your families as joyous as I'd imagine them to be?" Dr. Yamamoto asked with a smile.
"They were actually fairly low key. Apparently, most of our families had talked to Rachel and by extension Grace. And even though they said all the right things, anyone who knows Rachel and Grace could tell they weren't nearly as upset as Danny's death would warrant. Our families mostly suspected we weren't actually dead at any rate."
"I know you had to be reassured by their reactions."
"Very much so," Steve agreed, taking a drink from his beer. "As soon as we returned to the land of the living, I visited Dr. Brooks."
~0~
"I'm very glad that the news of your death was exaggerated," Dr. Brooks said to Steve and Danny when they were sitting in his office. He'd checked Steve's arm, replacing the cast with a lighter one. He was satisfied with the healing of Steve's injury and said the cast was a continued precaution.
"We are as well," Steve agreed.
"Being dead has some advantages," Danny decided. "But I do prefer to be among the living."
"Understandably," Dr. Brooks said with a nod. "And I know you aren't here purely for your check-up."
"No," Steve agreed, looking down at his fresh cast. The lighter, cloth cast couldn't be used by Grace as a canvas but he'd make it up to her.
"He's ready to admit he's suffering from bouts of PTSD," Danny said, reaching over and laying a soft hand on Steve's left arm. "He isn't happy about it but he can't deny it any longer either."
"I see," Dr. Brooks said, studying Danny then Steve. "Is he correct?"
"Yes," Steve said softly. He cleared his throat, looking up to meet the doctor's gaze. "It would be really hard to deny it in light of black helicopters and beach bunkers."
"I have to agree," Dr. Brooks said warmly. "It's not a personality flaw. Nor is it uncommon. I will give you a prescription for an antidepressant I've found to be very effective for other service personnel."
"Just like that?" Steve asked, feeling slightly suspicious.
"Just like that," Dr. Brooks agreed. "There are no blood tests, no x-rays to determine if the condition exists. The antidepressant is widely used for a varied population. It has almost no known side effects."
"If there is one, he'll find it," Danny predicted with a smile for Steve.
"But not while digging a bunker on a beach," Dr. Brooks said, reaching for his prescription pad. He wrote out the information, handing it to Steve. "It's very straight forward. We'll start you on a low dosage. If you start feeling like you're going to go on a personal mission, let me know and we'll adjust the dosage."
"Am I permitted to call you?" Danny asked, looking at the prescription being wrinkled in Steve's tight grasp. Danny removed the slip of paper before Steve balled it into a crumpled mess.
"Ordinarily we would say no. But because you might have a better understanding of when it begins to happen, yes you should call," Dr. Brooks agreed.
"Good," Danny said with a nod. "Is there anything else you need from us?"
"No," Dr. Brooks said, standing and extending his hand to Danny. "Thank you for coming with Steve."
"Thank you," Steve said to both or possibly neither of them.
"Let's go celebrate being alive," Danny said with a smile up to Steve.
"Sounds good," Steve agreed, following Danny out. Steve didn't protest when Danny went to the driver's side, too wrapped up in his own thoughts. "Wait. Where are you going?" Steve asked when he looked out the windshield. "The office is the other way."
"We're not going to work," Danny informed him. "The dog is wound. The clock is fed. The reports are filed. We're going to the drug store and then we're going to have a private celebration."
"Oh," Steve said, thinking it over before the light dawned. "Will this celebration involve being naked?"
"If there is a God, it will," Danny agreed, going a little faster than was strictly necessary but Steve was not about to protest. Danny pulled into the drug store parking lot, getting out and going in with Steve. He followed him to the pharmacy, handing over the prescription to the bored looking clerk.
"This you?" the clerk asked Danny, looking at the slip of paper before returning to stare at Danny.
"No. It's him," Danny said, pointing over his shoulder where Steve was apparently looking at magazines. But since Danny was pretty sure he wasn't interested in reading the Woman's Day issues on display, he knew Steve was trying to be inconspicuous.
"Date of birth," the clerk asked, deciding dealing with the short, blond haole was preferable to engaging with the slightly angry military type glaring at them both.
Danny provided it to him, also giving the clerk their insurance information.
"You waiting?" the clerk asked, chancing another glance at Steve who was trying to burn a hole through him with the power of his unhappiness.
"How long?" Danny asked, checking over his shoulder to make sure Steve hadn't found a way to make a weapon out of canned cheese and Vienna Sausages.
"Pharmacist's on break. Be at least 45 minutes," the clerk said, sounding only slightly nervous.
"We'll come back," Danny decided with a curt nod. "Come on," he said to Steve, leading him toward the front of the store.
"Wait a second," Steve said, veering off toward the personal care section. "I'm not sure I have any at home," he said, pointing at the condoms on display.
"Catherine use them all up?" Danny asked with a laugh as he chose a box of the brand he was most familiar with.
"Now you bring her up? You have horrible timing," Steve told him, choosing a bottle of lube.
"It could have been worse," Danny told him, going back toward the front where the cashier was located. "We could be ready to use these."
"There is that," Steve had to agree. He smiled at the older woman who was behind the register. She looked at their two purchases and smiled as though she was the one who had gotten them together.
"You are such a cute couple," she informed them quietly. "Good for you for practicing safe sex."
"Thank you," Danny said, returning her smile as he paid. "He's something of an animal but he's my animal."
"As it should be," she agreed with a wink for Steve. "There you are, my dears." She handed over the bag, watching them walk out the sliding glass door, happy for them.
It was only a few very long minutes before Danny was pulling up to Steve's house, relieved that Doris' car was nowhere to be seen. She'd arranged the impromptu celebratory barbeque they had all enjoyed last night but she'd returned to her own house this morning, hopefully with Mary in tow.
"Are you nervous?" Steve asked when they were in the living room, Danny heading straight for the stairs.
"Nervous? About what?" Danny asked, looking back over his shoulder at him. "That Doris is going to walk in on us?"
"No," Steve laughed, taking firm grasp of the tempting ass right in front of him. "About your first time."
"Nah. No reason I should be. It's you," Danny said as though that explained it all. And maybe it did.
"Yeah," Steve agreed, releasing Danny once they reached Steve's bedroom. Danny had slept with him last night, both content to lay together for the comfort and familiarity of it. Now their purpose for getting into bed would be much more….interesting.
Danny made sure the bedroom door was latched before looking at Steve like he was sizing him up. It made Steve feel a little like a side of beef but he found he couldn't mind. As long as he was to Danny's liking, he didn't care what expression Danny had on his face.
"Take off your clothes," Danny finally said, leaning back against the door and smiling at Steve as he was removing his boots. It was a smile he'd never seen before – predatory, hungry, lascivious.
"Are you going to join me?" Steve asked, undoing his belt in a manner that was far too teasing for Danny's comfort. Danny had to press the heel of his hand against his erection to stop it from rubbing raw against his zipper.
"Uhn," Danny grunted, watching Steve slide down his zipper and thumb his button open. Steve licked his lips as he shimmed out of his cargos.
"See something you like?" Steve asked unnecessarily. Danny's breathing was coming in small, quick gasps and Steve could see Danny's eyes were so dilated they looked black with only the tiniest ring of blue remaining.
"Uhn," Danny repeated, reaching out a hand for the hard lump in Steve's skin tight briefs. "I want this."
"All yours, babe. For the rest of our lives," Steve said. He stilled completely when the words escaped his mouth, looking down at Danny in hopes that he hadn't inadvertently terrified him. He smiled back when Danny's mouth split into the brightest, sunniest smile ever.
"Did you just propose to me?" Danny asked, standing on his toes to kiss Steve. He intentionally thrust his hips against Steve, enjoying the gasp he got from his unfair tactics.
"Yes?" Steve said, raising his head to look down at him.
"Oh babe," Danny said, shaking his head. "I'm a sure thing. Married. Not married. It doesn't matter. You're it for me."
"Yeah?" Steve said, kissing him before he could answer. "So. You wanna? Marry me?"
"Sure. You have a steady income. Nice house. Great bod. I could do worse," Danny teased, kissing him back.
"What do I get out of it?" Steve asked, kissing Danny to prove he already knew the answer.
"Grace," Danny said. "And full access to the Camaro."
"I already have that," Steve reminded him. "Now. Less talk and more naked."
"I'm on board for that," Danny agreed, pulling off Steve's polo shirt before divesting him of his briefs. "You want to watch or do it yourself?"
"Just get naked," Steve requested, turning the covers back and laying down to watch Danny.
Danny decided it was enough with the teasing and stripped in record time, crawling on top of Steve. Danny lay full on top of Steve, finding it the warmest, more comfortable place he'd ever been and he didn't think he ever wanted to leave. That Steve was kissing him back like it was his personal mission while his hands touched every part of him made Danny all the more ready to make loving Steve his total life's work. They could live on Steve's Naval salary, right?
"What are you thinking so hard about? I can hear the wheels turning," Steve teased as he bit and licked Danny's lips.
"If we can stay here for the rest of our lives. Is your Naval salary enough for us to get by?" Danny asked. He bit the corded muscles of Steve's neck as he laughed at the question.
"You are… besotted, aren't you?" Steve asked.
"Besotted," Danny repeated. "Besotted. And you have the nerve to make fun of my vocabulary."
"I was helping Grace with her spelling last week," Steve said in his defense. "It apparently came up in one of Shakespeare's plays."
"Makes sense. Does that make me…wait. If you call me Juliet, I will end you," Danny warned.
Steve laughed, turning them over so he was covering Danny's body. "Never." Steve kissed the rest of the protests out of Danny's mouth, enjoying Danny's hands running up and down his back.
What happened next was that of which dreams are made. They went to the loving place that is occupied only by those who have found the missing piece to their personal puzzle, the half that makes them whole. Who did what to whom can be described but not the love that transcends it.
"I think you did end me," Steve said, lolling his head to the side to peer over at Danny.
"Okay," Danny said, reaching down to thread their fingers together.
"Do Chin and Kono know where we are?" Steve managed to ask, his heavy eyelids sliding closed without his permission.
"Yep. They told me we weren't allowed to come in today," Danny said, sleep descending over him. He chose to welcome it.
"Uhn," Steve grunted, rolling on his side to wrap his long, perfect arms around Danny before surrendering completely to Morpheus' siren call.
~0~
"So things were good," Dr. Yamamoto said when Steve had briefly related the relationship he and Danny had entered, formally, that day.
"Good. Yeah. Really, really good," Steve confirmed. "It stayed that way…until recently."
"What changed?" the doctor prompted gently.
"I've developed…uhm…a decreased sex drive," Steve admitted quietly. "It's…uhm…well."
"What did Dr. Brooks say about it?" Dr. Yamamoto asked.
"It's the antidepressant," Steve said, clutching tightly to the arms of the chair. He was a little afraid of breaking them but this subject was incredibly uncomfortable for him.
It'd been awful enough when Danny had finally asked. Danny was keeping his apartment for a little while longer, until they had fully settled into their new relationship. Never mind the fact that he slept in Steve's bed more nights than his own.
The past week had been the most jam-packed since they'd come back from the grave, Steve and Danny falling asleep when they finally got home, the last three nights after midnight. Saturday and Sunday had been gratefully uneventful and Danny had suggested they spend the two days in bed. It was then that they discovered that Steve's sex drive had apparently… diminished to the point of them both being concerned.
Danny found the insert that had come with the prescription for the antidepressants, showing Steve to part of the possible side effects that said decreased sex drive, impotence, or difficulty having an orgasm are less common but have been reported.
Monday morning, Steve had called Dr. Brooks who said that the best thing for him to do was to finally go see Dr. Yamamoto. He'd tried before to get Steve to see him but Steve had never seen the point.
"It's not uncommon," Dr. Yamamoto said, interrupting the useless swirl of thoughts chasing round inside Steve's head.
"Dr. Brooks said the same," Steve said. "But I can't stop taking them, can I?"
"No," Dr. Yamamoto agreed. "But there are others we can try."
"Oh," Steve said, catching Dr. Yamamoto's encouraging gaze. "Different ones."
"Of course. Like antibiotics, there are many varieties of antidepressants. That along with periodic visits with me to discuss any possible issues, and we'll be able to tell Command you are no longer a threat to yourself or anyone else."
"Oh. That's better news than I expected," Steve admitted.
"Didn't you Google antidepressants?" Dr. Yamamoto asked with a hidden laugh in his voice.
"I guess we could have looked it up," Steve admitted, slightly embarrassed that they hadn't even thought to check. Well, in their defense, other concerns were taking precedence.
"And what could you have possibly thought would happen when you came to see me?"
"I…uhh… don't know what I expected. Danny accused me of being worried you'd have me committed. May have been wishful thinking on his part," Steve laughed.
"I doubt that," Dr. Yamamoto said. "I'll write you a new prescription and inform Dr. Brooks. You'll come back next week and we'll see how it's going."
"Yeah. Okay," Steve agreed, standing up to stretch, his back snapping. "Thank you."
"For what?" Dr. Yamamoto asked as he sat behind his desk to write out the prescription.
"For listening without judging me?" Steve said.
"It's my job, Steve," the doctor reminded him. "We want to make sure you have any assistance you need - physical, mental, emotional."
Steve nodded, accepting the slip of paper and looking down at it. "And if this…uhh… interferes?"
"We'll try a different one until we find the one that works for you," Dr. Yamamoto assured him.
"Okay," Steve said with a smile. "I'll come back next week at the same time?"
"Certainly," Dr. Yamamoto agreed easily, walking him to the door. "Call if you have any questions or concerns before then."
"I will. Thank you," Steve said, shaking his hand before leaving the office, the weight of the world lifted from his shoulders. He was normal. What had happened to him was normal. Everything was going to be okay. "Hey," he said to Danny when he answered.
"Hey babe. How'd it go?" Danny asked, sounding thankfully relaxed. He had been less worried than Steve although he did want him to find out what was going on.
Steve summarized what Dr. Yamamoto had said about the medication, Danny agreeing that it sounded like they were about to find the solution.
"Come pick me up and we'll go out and celebrate," Danny said with a smile.
"I have a better idea," Steve said, climbing into his truck.
"You think you always have a better idea," Danny laughed.
"This one really is. I'll come get you and we'll start moving your pathetically few belongings into my house."
Danny laughed again, a sound of utter delight. "You're on. I happen to have some empty boxes you can help me fill. Stop for pizza."
"You got it," Steve agreed, stopping at their favorite pizza place before driving to Danny's. He was headed directly west, the sky ablaze with the spectacular sunset. Maybe it was relief. Maybe it was the prospect of seeing Danny. But the colors were brighter, the air more fragrant, the world a better place than it had been in quite some time. It was good to be alive.