Hey there, Sparia fans. Sorry for the delay in updating, but here I am! Thanks for the reviews last chapter, and I hope you like this one. I know it seems like things are moving slowly, but I promise I'm building up to lots more Sparia, so stick with me. For the next month there'll be twice-weekly updates, yay. For now, enjoy the chapter, don't forget to review, and I'll see you next time!
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Since the breakup, Aria had been finding it hard to pay attention during class. She used to actually enjoy it, as long as she understood the material – which, in English, was almost a given. It used to be her favorite class because it meant she could actually spend the afternoon reading and pass it off as studying. Now, though, she could hardly even look at Lord of the Flies without cringing, because all she could remember were lazy afternoons spent with the man she thought she loved – and then his face when she told him that she wanted to break it off.
And then she had to see him every day at school, and she had to sit through an entire lesson of him standing up the front and talking to them about symbolism and metaphors and things she used to care about. She had to pretend that it didn't bother her, and he had to do the same, and most of the class was completely oblivious to the charade they were taking part in.
Even though Ezra had said he was okay with it all, and told her that he understood why she'd called it off, she knew it still had to hurt him. It wasn't just his class she couldn't pay attention in anymore; just the knowledge that he was in a classroom down the hall was enough to distract her. Normally when she was struggling in a subject she'd go to the teacher - and if that didn't work she'd go to Spencer. Neither of those would work this time, so the only reason she was managing to keep her grades up was by studying late into the night, doing as much work as she could in the solitude of her room.
This strategy was taking its toll, because in English the next day she was having trouble keeping her eyes open.
"You okay?" Hanna asked, pretending to peruse her book while actually doodling fashion designs in the margins of her notebook.
Aria's head snapped up from where she'd been resting it on the desk. "Yeah," she whispered back. "I'm fine."
Hanna didn't seem convinced, but at that point Ezra – Mr Fitz, Aria corrected herself silently – chose that moment to start handing back the results from the pop quiz they'd taken last week. When he got to Aria's desk she tensed, but he just placed the paper face down on her desk and, without looking at her, said, "Good work, Miss Montgomery."
Before she could say anything – not that she could think of a single thing to say anyway – he'd moved on, and she flipped the paper over. A bright red B stood out at the top, which by Spencer's standards was close to failing, but Aria was satisfied with it. A minute after Ezra – Mr Fitz – finished handing back the papers, the bell rang. Aria shoved her paper in between the pages of her notebook and got to her feet, falling into step beside her friends as they made their way into the hall.
She had almost reached the doorway when a voice from behind stopped her in her tracks.
"Miss Montgomery," Ezra said politely. "Can I see you for a moment?"
She froze. Did he want to talk about why she'd only gotten a B in the test, when she normally could scrape an A- at least? Was he going to ask how she was going with the essay he'd assigned them on Monday? Or was this conversation going to be of a more personal nature?
Her friends had come to a stop beside her, and she felt a reassuring hand on her arm. She turned to see Spencer, the sympathy in her eyes almost too much to stand.
"Are you going to be okay?" Spencer asked.
Aria brushed some hair away from her eyes, giving them what she hoped would pass for a convincing smile. "I'll be fine."
"We'll be right outside," Hanna said, and Aria nodded, not knowing how to tell them that she appreciated it.
Emily closed the door behind them, and then it was just Aria and Ezra. She stayed where she was, facing away from him, and took three deep breaths before turning to him. "You wanted to see me, Mr Fitz?"
"Aria," he said gently, and that was enough to let her know what kind of conversation this was going to be. "How are you?"
She folded her arms, making no move to approach his desk. There was already enough distance between them, but she couldn't bring herself to close the gap, to take even a single step toward him. "Did you really call me back here to ask how I am?"
He blinked, taken aback. "Were you expecting something else?"
"N-no," she said. She hefted her books from one arm to the other.
"So." He sat down at his desk, waiting for her to come closer. "How are you doing, really?"
She did, reluctantly, coming to a stop a foot away. She thought back to the first time she'd walked up to his desk, and she'd placed her hand on top of his, trembling slightly because she didn't know if he would reciprocate or if she would walk out of there with a broken heart. Now she was trembling again, but for a different reason, and both of them were nursing broken hearts – all because of her goddamn feelings.
Even if she was standing right next to Ezra, even if they were actually touching, she knew that there would still be distance between them. But as sure as that, there was always going to be something connecting them. Before they'd even had their first kiss she'd felt something pulling her to him, and as soon as their lips had met for the first time she knew she'd never be able to get the taste of him out of her mouth. Now here they were, at the end of a journey they thought was going to go for so much longer, and they had to decide whether their paths were going to cross or whether they would have to go their separate ways.
"I'm doing okay," she said, the most honest answer she could give. "What about you?"
"I'm all right." He looked up at her, and his eyes, usually like an open book to her, seemed guarded.
There was something in the back of her mind, something she wanted to say, but she kept trying to filter it out. Eventually it got the better of her, and she asked in a small voice, "How did you know? About…"
"Your feelings?" he said tactfully, and she nodded. "You're forgetting that I wasn't just your boyfriend. I was your teacher. I saw a lot more than you realized – maybe even more than you saw yourself."
It was a logical answer, but it made her worried. Was Ezra that good at reading her, or was she just that transparent? "Do you think… does Spencer know?"
Ezra tilted his head, looking at her thoughtfully. "I don't think so," he said.
The rush of relief was followed by a twinge of disappointment. Part of her, however foolish and selfish, hoped that Spencer did know. But most of her was just glad that her secret was safe, for now. "Do you think I should tell her?" she asked. As soon as the words were out of her mouth she realized how inappropriate it was, and backtracked quickly. "I'm sorry. Don't answer that."
He gave her an understanding smile, and by unspoken agreement they let the subject drop. He reached into his bag and pulled out a tattered copy of a collection of 18th century poetry. "You left this at my place," he said, holding it out to her.
"Thanks," she said, putting it on top of her pile of papers and books. There was so much more she wanted to say – that she was sorry, that she hoped he was okay, that she felt horrible about this whole thing – but she had a feeling that even if she didn't say the words, he understood. "So are we… are we done here?"
"We are," he said, and suddenly the guardedness faded from his eyes. There was sadness there, but also resignation. "Take care, Miss Montgomery."
Aria met his eyes, wanting to fall into his embrace and run far away at the same time. She settled for a sad smile and said, "Goodbye, Mr Fitz."
Then she turned on her heel and strode from the room, knowing with an uncomfortable kind of finality that it was well and truly over between them. And in amongst the mists of sadness, like a flower reaching for the light, rose a small tendril of hope. Maybe now that they were finished she could put it all behind her, and finally move onto better things.
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So Ezria is officially over. What do you guys think is going to happen with Sparia now?