Happy New Year, everyone! Hope you had a wonderful holiday season, whatever you celebrate. ^_^ Sorry this is a little late; I had finals to go through, and then after that I had internet access problems. But here it finally is!

Shameless plug: If you haven't read it already, I have written a crack oneshot called Proof That Killer Bee is Rubbing off on Naruto. Check it out, and let me know what you think! ^_^

I don't own Naruto. If I did, that would be one drama-filled show. =P

Sakura's eyebrow twitched, and she squelched down the urge to smack him a good one. She, however, tossed the orb with more force than necessary.

"Hey, watch it!" Kiba yelped. "Don't break it! People still have to go."

Sakura glared at him. Huffing, she returned to her spot. The others did the same as Sai filled the orb with chakra.

It was nighttime. Two figures dashed through the darkness, their ANBU masks glowing in the moonlight. After taking to the trees and back down again, they stopped.

"I think we've lost them, sempai," rabbit-mask said.

Bird-mask nodded. "Then let's set up camp."

They worked efficiently, putting up their tents, setting up a fire, and watching the rice they had for dinner cook.

"How far are we away from Konoha, Sai-sempai?" Rabbit asked.

Sai lifted his mask in order to shovel some fish into his mouth. His trademark creepy smile was not present, his face instead looking thoughtful. "I thought we were only to call each other by our codenames, Rabbit."

Rabbit pulled up his own mask, visibly distressed. "Forgive me, Bird-san!"

Sai thoughtfully put another bite of fish in his mouth. "Don't worry about it. There's no one else around anyway."

Rabbit exhaled a breath, clearly relieved at not being reprimanded.

"Hey," Sakura said suspiciously, pointing at the projection, "isn't that Himura from accounting?"

"Who cares?" Ino sighed. "He's hot."

And he was. His black hair was shaggy, long enough for it to be put into a small ponytail, and his chiseled face and dark eyes made him slightly resemble a certain Uchiha.

Except a lot less emo.

"Well, he's seemed to move up the career ladder," Sakura mused. "Just the other day Shishou got sick in the bathroom and he had to clean it up. Poor sap."

"Yeah, well what I wouldn't give to get a piece of that sap." Ino grinned.

Temari laughed. "Careful, Ino. You're scaring the naive."

On either side of Ino, Shikamaru and Choji twitched.

"He sure does look up to you, Sai," Tenten commented. "Look at the eyes he's giving you. As if he's looking at a celebrity or something."

And it was true. The look of adoration was blatantly clear on Himura's face.

"Why anyone would look up to that freak is beyond me," Naruto muttered.

Sai turned to him, smiling. "What a coincidence! I think that about you every day, dickless."

Naruto growled, jumping up and yelling and waving his hands—basically having a tantrum. Sai smiled at him.

"Mendokuse," Shikamaru mumbled to himself. "Calm down, Naruto. And Sai, you technically can't call him that anymore seeing as he got Hinata pregnant."

Naruto stopped raving. "Wait a minute...he's right!" he yelled, pointing at Sai triumphantly.

"Hmm," Sai said thoughtfully. "The baby had red hair. Hey, you know who else has red hair? The Kazekage."

Temari rolled her eyes as Naruto thought about that tidbit. The thought of either of her brothers reproducing was a little much for her, but Gaara? The boy barely noticed the opposite sex. He was learning to be normal, but still.

A lightbulb visibly went off in Naruto's head. Suddenly, his attention was on Hinata. "Do you like Gaara, Hinata-chan?"

Hinata visibly shrunk under Naruto's sudden scrutiny. "H-he's pleasant," Hinata squeaked. "But N-Naruto-kun—"

She eeped as Naruto suddenly appeared in front of her, his face a little too close to hers for comfort.

Naruto couldn't help himself. As soon as Sai planted the idea in his mind, he had felt this strange wave of jealousy come over him. He had never thought of Hinata romantically before, but seeing himself be so happy with her ignited something within him. He wasn't sure of what he felt for her yet, but he didn't want anyone to interfere until he did, not even one of his dearest friends. "Do you like Gaara more than me?"

Hinata leaned back as Naruto continued to unknowingly invade her personal space. She pressed her pointer fingers together, eyes wide. "A-ano—"

Naruto drew even closer, his blue eyes taking over her field of vision. "Do you even like me?"

Hinata turned bright red. "I-I-I—"

And with that, her eyes rolled up into her head and she fell into Neji's awaiting outstretched arm.

"Oh my god!" Naruto yelled in alarm. "Is she okay? Is she sick or something?"

"It was bound to happen," Neji said, lowering her gently to the floor.

Temari took out a small paper fan and began fanning the unconscious girl. "Just go sit down, Naruto."

Perplexed, Naruto returned to his seat, but kept shooting Hinata worried glances.

"Subtle," Sakura scoffed. "Baka."

"Let's just get back to Sai's future," Tenten said.

"They've just been sitting there eating," Kiba snorted. "They haven't even said anything."

Sai sighed contently, putting down his empty plate. The rice was still cooking, but he had been too hungry to wait for it.

Himura set his plate down as well, although there was still fish on it. "Sempai, you have a bur in your hair."

Sai reached up to remove the offending object, but seemed to miss it, despite Himura's guidance. Finally, he shrugged. "Could you get it for me?"

Himura's eyes got wide. "Really?"

Sai shrugged again. "It can't stay there, can it?"

Himura didn't answer, just scooted closer and went to work on the bur.

Sai pulled out a sketchbook from his pack and began to doodle. He stopped when he felt the fingers in his hair pause. He turned his head, only to find his kohai's face very close to his.

"This reminds me of a movie I saw once," Tenten mused.

"What was it about?" Choji asked.

But Tenten never answered, because it was at that moment that Himura decided to press his lips against Future Sai's. Future Sai froze, the sketchbook slipping from his fingers, and was only unresponsive for a couple of moments before vigorously returning the kiss. The pot of rice began to boil over as clothes were rapidly thrown off.

For a second everyone froze. Then all hell broke loose.

Everyone in the room had a look of horror on their faces. Shino seemed to be retreating further and further into his hood, bugs covering his face, and all of the girls gaped.

"MY VIRGIN EYES!" Naruto shrieked, seemingly trying to claw them out of his head.

"MAKE IT STOP!" Kiba hissed.

"That is very...youthful," Lee said, astonished.

"I think I'm going to be sick," Ino said quietly, a hand over her mouth in disgust.

Hinata finally woke up. But once she saw what was being projected, she turned a deep purple and promptly passed out again.

"Is Hinata-chan okay?" Naruto yelled, peeking through his fingers and instantly regretting it.

Sai cocked his head, glancing at everyone curiously. "You know, this is just like—"

"Shino's future, we get it! We get it!" Temari said loudly, trying unsuccessfully to drown out the panting noises emanating from the screen. "Turn it off!"

For a second, Sai watched as everyone else screamed in horror. Then, very calmly, he said, "Stop."

The projection stopped.

There was a group sigh of relief. Then Ino turned to Tenten accusingly. "Woman, what kind of movies are you watching?" she yelled.

"I was curious!" Tenten wailed.

"It all makes sense now," Sakura mumbled to herself. "I had always thought that Himura was just really fashionable."

"I didn't know that you swung that way, Sai," Kiba said awkwardly.

Sai blinked. "What way?"

"Err, that you played for the other team," Naruto piped up.

Sai blinked again, his face blank. "I wasn't aware that I was playing for any teams."

"We didn't know that you were gay," Shikamaru said bluntly.

"I did," Temari muttered. "I mean, with that belly shirt and shit? Come on."

Shikamaru gave her a look, and she shrugged sheepishly. When he noticed that Sai still didn't understand what he was saying, he added, "We didn't know that you were attracted to men."

"Oh." Sai nodded in understanding. "I find beauty in everything."

"It must be an artist thing," Tenten whispered to a still shaken-up Neji.

"So you're saying you're bi," Sakura asked frankly.

Sai smiled, fingering the orb in his hand. "I guess you could call it that."

"Give me that," Sakura snapped, snatching the orb out of his hand. "You just scarred me for life."

"Me too." Naruto was still peeping through his fingers, as if he needed to be prepared for any horror thrown at him. "Are you going to go, Sakura-chan?"

Sakura sighed. "I guess so."

A/N: ...Yeah. XD

Let me know.