The Main Plaza was just as crowded as before.
As Edward let me down I could tell he was hunting for Jacob's thoughts.
"Edward, do you hear him?" I asked. Worry weighed my words down to a whisper.
He stiffened and walked back towards the direction we had come from. He was searching for something.
"Edward…."
He cut me off gently, "Quiet, please Bella."
I stood, impatiently. My body grew tenser with every second that passed. Something was wrong, something had to be wrong. My stomach started to twist and turn in knots. Edward lifted his head, "I have bad news."
I felt my knees start to buckle. The alley began to spin around me; the loud noise the crowd was emitting became a mere muffled hum.
He continued, "I found his scent, but there are more here, more that just you and me." He paused and gave me a solemn look, "Bella, the guard has him."
I fell to my knees and buried my face in my hands. My chest heaved in sobs as the tears ruptured from my eyes. I was unable to speak.
Edward rushed to my side, sat down, and pulled me into his lap. I continued in my hysteria untouched by his act of compassion. My heart throbbed in my chest. I slowly and painfully broke apart. It felt as though half of me had died. I hated myself. I wanted to die. How could I have done this to Jacob? My sun, my warmth, my best friend, my soul mate, my Jacob….he was gone. The Volturi wasn't the fiend behind this atrocity, I was. I was the monster.
"What…" I continued to sob into my hands, "What….have…..I…..done?"
"Bella," Edward caressed my shoulder, "I think there is still hope."
What.
My head sprung from my hands to look at him. His face looked sincere, his eyes were pained from my hysterics, but I could tell he was telling the truth.
He spoke again before I had the chance too, "He's still alive. Aro had Jacob brought to him. It would appear that his curiosity and love for the mythical world got the better of him. I don't believe Aro plans to kill Jacob, the idea of a guard dog amuses him too much." Edward's lips curled into a smile at the thought.
I realized I should have felt disgust for his last statement, but there was no room for any additional emotions other than joy and relief. My mind began to ease and my heart now danced within my chest. Jacob was alive!
I had to be with him. My body longed to be in his arms, to be able to touch him, look in his eyes, see his smile, and kiss his lips. He had to know how much I missed him. He had to know the extent of my love for him.
Driven by my desire, I tried to stand, but my body was so exhausted from all the emotions I'd expended. My legs collapsed beneath me and I fell back into Edward's arms. I let out an exasperated, irritated sigh.
Edward understood. He smiled his crooked grin and tucked a loose hair behind my ear. "Your body can only take so much, Bella."
I didn't care if my body was fragile and human, we had to get moving. Every moment I was away from Jacob began to feel like years.
"Do you know where he is?" I asked, impatient and still aggravated.
"Yes, I do." Edward replied. He was always so calm and composed. I constantly felt like an irrational emotional mess next to him. He continued, "But, you rarely find the Volturi before the Volturi find you."
I don't know why, but his words terrified me. I knew that I would face the Volturi, I had to in order to save Jacob, but the idea of the guard finding me was very unsettling.
"In fact," he began again, "they are on their way as I speak. Aro is eager to meet the human girl who was able to bewitch both a vampire and a werewolf."
I stiffened in his arms, being tracked down by vampires was nothing new to me. In fact I was beginning to wonder if it was going to be a constant theme in my life, but something about the ancients frightened me to death.
"There is no need to worry Bella, they have no intention of harming you." He stated, trying to comfort me, but I could tell he was lying, or at least partially lying. Maybe they didn't have any intention of harming me now, but Edward and I both knew how sweet my blood was. No matter how fascinating Aro may find me, if my blood sang to any of the ancients even a fraction of how it did to Edward the best of intentions would mean nothing as the bloodlust took over.
Trying to escape would be pointless now, and I wouldn't have allowed it anyway. So Edward and I just sat there in the dark, cold alley, propped against a stonewall, waiting for their arrival. With every second that passed my fear and impatience intensified. It was a strange combination of emotions. I wanted to see Jacob with my own eyes to know he was okay, and yet I had never been more afraid in my entire life. Not in the ballet studio with James, not alone in the forest with Laurent, or not even when I realized Victoria was hunting me, nothing compared to the fear I felt now. I wasn't afraid to die. I'd never been afraid to die. My fear wasn't for myself, but rather it was for Jacob and Edward. To think of them watching as the Volturi drained my body of life was just too much. It was horrid and atrocious. It was the worst fear I'd ever had.
As for Edward, he was in agony. The pain in his eyes imitated that of a mother watching her house burn, knowing her child was inside, but unable save him. He wanted to run me to safety, but it was too late. And even if it hadn't been, he still would have helped me do everything possible to save Jacob. I had never done anything to possibly deserve this kind of love. Edward truly was an angel, perfect in nearly everyway.
"I'm so sorry," I whispered as a tear slowly crept down my cheek.
"For what love?"
"For betraying you, for not loving you like you deserve to be loved. For making you feel like you're not enough." I buried my face in his shoulder to keep back the onslaught of tears that were now forming.
He let out a deep sigh, "Bella, when I told you that you were my life it was absolute truth. I have nothing else in this existence, but you do. Love was something I thought I would never experience, and now that I have there will never be anyone for me other than you. I can't change like you can. My love was awoken by you and therefore you are the only one that can ever hold those feeling."
"I know, and it makes me even more of a monster!" I sobbed.
"No Bella, if it weren't for you I would never have experienced that change. I would have no idea what that love feels like. I would not be able to cherish it for all eternity like I can now." Edward replied in a voice as sweet as honey. He stroked my cheek tenderly. "It is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all."
"Stop that, stop trying to make me feel better about myself. I betrayed you Edward." I cried. He should be mad at me. Completely furious, but instead he was comforting me. He was so, so frustrating. Why couldn't he treat me like I deserved? He thought I had a problem with reacting properly, what about him?
"You didn't betray me Bella, I left and you moved on, that was my intent. You have that capability, and I am quite envious truthfully." He paused, lifted my face from his shoulder and brought our gazes together, "In fact, in a way I am thankful for Jacob Black. He will give you the life I never could. I am insanely jealous, but I am grateful that you have chosen a life with him over me. I will always love you and want you, but I would rather have you alive and happy with him, than be forced to choose a life of immortality in order to stay in my arms. That would be the most selfish thing possible." His features twisted in agony.
How could he think he was selfish? He was the most selfless person I'd ever met, and probably ever would meet. I placed both of my hands tenderly upon his icey face, "You are not selfish Edward. You are absolutely perfect."
He smiled at my words, but then stiffened. The smile never reached his eyes, and I knew why. I took a deep breath and followed his gaze. There in the alley stood two dark cloaked, burly, pale men and a beautiful, angel faced child. My heart skipped a beat.
They were here. We rose.
"Felix, Demitri," Edward nodded his head and acknowledged the two men before his eyes narrowed at the child, "Jane."
I knew then that it wasn't the two rugged, brawny men that I should fear most but it was the lovely little girl. The one called Jane.
As I stood before the Volturi Guard, panic struck through me to my very core. Edward was right beside me, but I wanted to hold Jacob's hand, to embrace his protective warmth.