Chapter Ten: Before I Ever Knew Better

Saturday morning arrived quicker than Peyton expected. Friday had passed in a blur considering she had stayed home for the day unable to bring herself out of bed. Lucas had stopped by during lunch, but she feigned sleep when she heard him in the doorway. The absolute last thing she wanted to do was face him when she wasn't ready too. He did not try to wake her, but left her with a light kiss on her forehead causing a small tear to fall from the corner of her eye.

However, today would be completely different. She was not longer afraid to see him. Her heart was breaking, but it would be nothing compared to the way Brooke's heart would break if she ever found out that she was Lucas Scott's infidelity. Brooke was her best friend, Lucas was meant to be with Brooke, not her. Brooke was the one he was in love with, Peyton was merely infatuation. How had she been so naïve to believe the words of Lucas Scott?

She approached the door to his room inhaling a deep breathe before she turned the copper door knob. Cautiously she stepped inside seeing him lying up in his bed staring at the ceiling. However, that soon changed as soon as he saw her silhouette in his doorway. Immediately he sat up with a wide smile motioning for her to come sit beside him. Peyton nodded sitting on the edge of his bed.

"We need to talk Lucas, about us, about this, about what we're doing." Her voice was laced with such vulnerability, what she was about to tell him was the last thing she had ever wanted to do.

He nodded reproachfully raising an eyebrow at her. "Okay." he managed weakly forcing a smile upon his features.

"This last week with you, being with you has been amazing. It's everything I've wanted Luke. But this… us, it can't work. Every day we are hurting Brooke. Maybe you can't see it, but I can. She's my best friend and you're the best thing that has ever happened to her."

Lucas stared at her, his mouth dropping slightly. Though he understood, he had never intended to hurt Brooke in the way that they were now. The guilt had not just been eating away ay Peyton, but at Lucas also. It took him hours to fall asleep, tossing and turning the guilt keeping him awake. And when sleep finally did come, his dreams were laced with nightmares of Brooke finding out.

"Peyton, I know. The guilt has been eating away at me. I'm afraid that at every turn she is going to see us together or she is going to find out."

Peyton's eyes fell to his bedspread her fingers playing idly with a loose thread. Her eyes met his once more as she spoke feebly. "This isn't going to work Lucas. You belong with Brooke. We're better off as friends."

Her heart broke within her chest, the tears sliding down her cheeks faster than she could wipe them away. Finally the sobs came completely compromising her composure. Lucas took her chin between his forefinger and thumb bringing her gaze to meet his. His eye searched hers, followed by his lips gently pressing against her own.

"No, Peyton. I'm falling for you. Everyday, every minute I'm falling for you. And Brooke, she's great. But you Peyton are something else."

Her heart thumped heavily inside of her chest she gazed at him staring deeply into the depths of his blue eyes. "Then what do we do?"

Lucas sighed a moment taking Peyton's hand within his own lacing their fingers. He wrapped a secure arm around her pulling her back onto the bed with him. They lay their in silence for awhile simply just enjoying the warm embrace they shared. Neither of them knew what to do about Brooke. How to approach her or even come to terms with what they were doing to her. The guilt was tearing them apart.

After nearly an hour passed Lucas finally spoke. "We have to tell her." Peyton nodded shifting her position to look at him.

"I know, but how?"

Lucas was at a loss for himself. "I don't know. But we have to do it together."

The solution was there. Telling Brooke, however, was a completely different challenge on its own. Brooke was Peyton's best friend the girl that had been with her through everything. She was there every night when her father left for a sailing trip. She saw a little brown haired eight year old climbing on to the bed with her, crying with her after the passing of Peyton's mother. They had been through so much together. And she may possibly be losing it all over a boy. But Lucas could never be just a boy to her. No, he was something else. Something deeper.

Lucas pulled Peyton tighter to his chest. He rested his cheek against the soft blonde curls inhaling the sweet aroma her hair let into the air. In silence, they did not need to talk. Lucas and Peyton both knew what the other was thinking. It was apart of the connection they shared. Yet even with their connection there would always be that obstacle that we would be their biggest test in their relationship.