Fíli walked in to the small kitchen, standing next to his brother. It was a nice little kitchen, with green and pink floor tiling and matching countertops. There was a large square hollow cavern with a door pushed against the wall. Fíli wasn't sure what it was. If he had been a native of Earth, he would have recognized it as a stove.
"Fíli!" Kíli exclaimed, opening the door of one particularly large steel cabinet. "It's freezing in this one! What is it?" He breathed.
He began pulling frozen foods out of the refrigerator- vegetables, hamburger meat, ice cream, popsicles, ice trays, anything. The counter was strewn with frozen goods.
"We can't eat these. They're frozen." Fíli pointed out.
"I realize that." Kíli replied, shooting him an annoyed look. "We need something easier, like bread or cheese." He began rifling through a higher wooden cabinet, pulling out spices, some of which fell on the floor and broke, scattering their contents everywhere. Fíli joined him, going through another cabinet and yanking out potato chip bags, gold fish bags, pretzels and the like. A glass jar of jam fell out and shattered on the floor.
"Where is all of the good food?" Kíli exclaimed, having emptied out three cabinets already, scattering the food that occupied them around the kitchen. "Hey!" He exclaimed, ducking a bag of chips that his brother had thrown over his shoulder in distaste. Fíli snorted with laughter, opening a drawer and pulling out a very large knife. He supposed that it might make a useful weapon while they were there, so he kept it in his hand.
"I found something!" Kíli exclaimed suddenly, holding up a loaf of bread. It wasn't much, but it would keep them full until Tabby returned. The brothers devoured the bread hungrily. Once they were done, they looked around the kitchen in dismay.
Food was everywhere. Jam splattered the floor, pepper and garlic powder dusting the colorful tiles.
"I suppose we could just clean it up a bit before Lady Tabitha returns." Kíli suggested, exchanging a sheepish glance with his brother.
"Yes, good idea," Fíli nodded, hurrying away from the kitchen before he had to face any guilt over the mess. Kíli followed, and the brothers wandered into the living room.
"What does this do?" Kíli asked, picking up the television remote control and pressing several buttons. The large television in the center of the room switched on, startling both brothers. They stared at the large, colorful moving box in surprise, not by what it was doing, but by who they saw in the box.
"Thorin!" They both cried at the same time. The brothers rushed up to the television. It was their uncle all right, they would recognize him anywhere. He looked proud, healthy, majestic even.
He was staring at the brothers, talking to them. "Uncle," Cried Fíli. "Are you alright?"
Thorin looked… different. His hair was short, he had no beard… He looked more human than anything. However, the two young dwarves recognized their uncle's features, even if they did look a bit strange.
In reality, the man they were watching was Richard Armitage, on a talk show about his upcoming role in the Hobbit films. Unfortunately, the brothers just happened to catch the very end of the interview.
"Wow, that's really interesting," The blonde woman sitting next to Thorin in the box laughed. "Well, thanks Richard. That's all the time we have for now! Coming up next- Is Nixon alive and in hiding somewhere in Guam? Topicz Newz's own Steeve Hatterty investigates. I'm Lorrena Simmins. Good night, Pennsylvania!"
Thorin vanished as the screen faded to black. Fíli and Kíli, who had been previously banging on the television in an effort to get Thorin to hear them, sunk back in despair.
"That might have been our last chance to see him…" Fíli muttered sadly.
In a fit of rage, Kíli grabbed Fíli's knife from the table and stabbed it in to the television screen with a loud cry. He jumped back as millions of fiery sparks exploded out of the television as the screen shattered. The sparks lit the fringe rug on the ground alight and within seconds the wooden coffee table in between the couch and the television was ablaze.
There was a slight panic as both brothers desperately tried to stomp out the flames, resulting in Kili's boot going up in flames. He threw it across the room and it broke the window facing the front yard. Fíli was smart enough to run to the kitchen, opening the cold cupboard and pulling out several clear bottles that looked like they contained liquid which were labeled Aquafina. He grabbed three or four large bottles and ran back in to the living room. With a lot of pouring, yelling and stamping (the latter mostly done by Fíli, with Kíli still afraid of being set alight once again) the fire eventually went out.
The brothers surveyed the damage wearily. The floor was covered in shards of glass. There was a great charred ring surrounding the table. The table itself was nothing more than a pile of rubble at this point. The two heirs of Durin exchanged guilty glances.
"Kíli," Fíli began softly, "How angry do you think Lady Tabitha will be?"
Kíli replied with one simple word, for that was all that needed to be said. "Murderous."
Kíli grabbed a red blanket off of the couch and threw it over the wreckage. He briefly entertained the hope that perhaps Tabby wouldn't notice. The brothers ran out of the room quickly, trying to avoid the guilt they felt.
"We… Can get her a new table." Fíli whispered as the brothers opened another door on the far side of the room, making a point not to look at the damage behind them.
"Still won't save us." Kíli replied.
"Who stabbed the thing?"
The brothers shut the door and surveyed the new room. It was a dining room, bare except for a large, intricately carved wooden table surrounded by four plush seated chairs. A large, magnificent golden chandelier hung above the table, adjourned with hundreds of tiny, gleaming crystals. The brothers stared up at it. It was the most beautiful thing that they had seen since they had arrived at Tabby's house.
Kíli looked over at his brother, a comment already on his lips, but he stopped short when seeing his brother's eyes. He recognized a small hint of the gleam their uncle got in his eyes when he was with his gold, how the other members of the company (save Bombur, perhaps) looked when they saw gold. It was the look of greed, of wealth and power and beauty. He and his brother had been largely immune to the gold fever that had seized the other dwarves after reclaiming Erebor. However, Kíli seemed to resist the lure of the gold better than his brother. It worried Kíli when he saw hints of the gold's spell in his brother. Kíli liked gold, sure, but he wouldn't die over it. He wasn't sure whether Fíli felt the same way. He had grown up hearing stories of Thror and his obsession, and worried. He worried for his uncle and for his brother. Thror had worshiped riches over all else. He didn't want his brother to end up the same way.
Fíli stared at the chandelier with a small smile playing on his lips. "It's beautiful." He murmured, not looking at his brother.
"Fíli!" Kíli spoke up, a bit louder than necessary.
"What is it?" Fíli asked, turning to his brother with a hint of annoyance before noting the troubled look on his face.
"It's not that beautiful." Kíli replied, and Fíli picked up on his meaning immediately.
"No, you're right," He replied. "It's not." He offered his little brother a reassuring grin and Kíli returned it, thankful to have a brother who knew him so well.
Suddenly, Fíli frowned. "D'you hear that?"
"What?" Kíli asked in a confused tone. He looked around the room, seeing nothing.
"A sort of…" Fíli hesitated, starting toward the door. "Rumbling…" He grasped his sword tightly, and swung the door open. Kili's ears were met with the foul growling of two great metallic beasts in the next room. One hissed madly and the other sputtered and spin and churned. Kíli was seized with sudden adrenaline, glad to have something familiar, to be able to fight these beasts alongside his brother. Fíli lunged with his sword drawn at the washing machine, leaving Kíli to take on the hissing one, which the reader may recognize as a dryer. He grabbed a hammer near the door and with a warlike cry, attacked the beast.
Hacking and smashing the beasts, the brothers tore through their opponents, a deadly duo that would have seemed unstoppable to the laundry machines, had they been able to fight back at the time.
Needless to say, two dwarves walked away victorious, and Tabby's laundry got off with holes, tears, and rags.
AN: I AM SO SORRY. My internet has been dead and when I could get on, I couldn't upload anything. I'm sorry, I love you, and please review. More destructive Durin brothers in the next chapter, and maybe an enraged Tabby. All I can say is that Fíli and Kíli had better hide that hammer before Tabby gets home or else she just might attack them with it.