Chapter 5 Pt 2

"-we came in?"

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Kensuke halted sharply. Rei Ayanami was standing calmly in the corner at the end of the hallway, like she had been... lying in wait. For him. Again. Well, maybe 'again': he still wasn't entirely certain that last incident had actually happened. That couldn't have been real, right?

Rei's red eyes locked with his. "Classmate Aida-san," she greeted him. "I would like to request your assistance again."

'Oh, so that did happen?' "Um... um... Ok?" He braced himself, but Rei did not do anything as nosebleed-inducing as last time. She just looked at him carefully.

"Have you ever been hugged?" she asked.

He blinked. What kind of question was that? "Um... yes?"

"Good. I have not. I wish to establish a baseline for further tests."

'What? That couldn't be what it sounded like. She's never been hugged?' "...So you want...?"

"I would like to hug you to establish a baseline."

"...okay?"

Rei lightly stepped over to him and put her arms around him. He went stiff as a board in shock. Sure, he'd been hugged before, but that was family members and stuff. This... he'd never had a girl his own age do this, especially not one that looked like Rei Ayanami. 'Double especially after what she did on Friday oh gods this is a bad time to think of that she's so warm and pressed right against me...'

Fortunately for Kensuke's peace of mind, Rei released him and stepped back before he could pass out again, or anything else embarrassing happen. "Thank you, Aida-san. That was valuable data for my baseline, and... not unpleasant."

He was very, very confused. "You're welcome?"

Rei turned and walked off without another word. Kensuke stood there staring after her long after she passed through the doors to the schoolyard.

"What the heck just happened?" he asked the empty hallway.

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Asuka liked a lot of things about being in love, but the quiet times after all the more vigorous moments in their room were quickly becoming her favorites. Just lying there with Shinji, holding each other close, feeling his chest rise and fall with his breath, listening to his heartbeat under her ear... She could let down all her walls, not have to pretend anything, not have to fear anything... just be Asuka, and know she was in the arms of someone who loved her.

She hadn't had that in ten years.

"Shinji?"

"Mmm?"

"I am so glad you decided to hold me, that first time. Look what it led to."

Shinji was oddly quiet for a minute. "You want to know something funny, Asuka? I didn't."

She craned her head so she could see his face without having to lift her head from his chest. "Say what?" she asked, confused.

"I... I didn't decide anything. I was about to fall down. You had my nose pinched shut, and I was starting to get wobbly from lack of air, and I grabbed onto you to stay up."

"You were just falling down?!" Asuka couldn't decide if she was angry, surprised, or just confused. "That's it?"

"I wanted to keep going! The girl of my dreams was kissing me, and I froze! I just wanted to keep kissing you, so I grabbed on to you to stay up, so we could keep going. I was afraid to touch you!"

"Afraid to... so if you hadn't nearly passed out, you'd have just stood there, not moving, because you were afraid to touch me?"

"Probably. You were literally the girl of my dreams, Asuka. One touch of your lips and I locked up. I'd have stood there and kissed you for as long as I could."

"But not done anything. Wow. That would have been bad, Shinji. When I felt you put your hands on me, I thought I had finally gotten through to you that I wanted you to. It made me so happy that you'd finally reacted to my hints. If you'd have just stood there and not done anything, I'd have thought you were rejecting me. Gott, I'd have probably run off in tears! I couldn't have stood it, thinking you rejected me when I'd just kissed you!"

"I... I'm sorry. You know I'm your baka. I'm just... you're too much, Asuka. I can barely make my brain work when I'm around you. That first kiss just blew all my fuses." He shook his head. "If you'd run off, I wouldn't have had the faintest idea what to do. I'd have just stood there, confused as anything, until Kaji brought Misato in."

"Gott, I'd have been acting all flirty at Kaji, trying to cover up how hurt I would have been... I really risked my heart on that kiss, Shinji. I'd have been an utter bitch to you for days afterward if we'd messed that one up, maybe weeks. I am so damn glad you kissed me back."

"I'm glad too. I've never been this happy, Asuka. I'd just be sitting in my room for hours, listening to music on my SDAT player for hours because I had nothing else to do but feel empty. Now..." He nuzzled her hair. "I don't think I've touched it since that night. You sure had me convinced you didn't need anything from me. Your mask was just too good. I didn't have a clue how you felt."

Asuka snorted. "That's my baka-Shinji. Eh, not like I could have just spit it out that I was attracted to you, not over my pride. Mmm... speaking of masks, I think we've haven't been hostile enough in class lately. I've been hearing some girls' locker room rumors about us. I think we need to have a big public argument tomorrow."

Shinji smiled into her hair. Of all the things that had changed since he and Asuka opened up to each other, having to schedule their public arguments had to be the funniest. "Hmm... I could 'forget' our lunches because I was too busy or something. That'd give you a big excuse to tear into me."

"Ugh, that means school food. That's definitely a good reason to yell at you. I'm not going to have to act that part. I like your cooking. Fine, that'll work. We'll have to make sure we're in a hurry leaving this morning, or Ayanami will notice later that our excuse doesn't hold water."

Shinji shrugged. "Like I said last night, I think she's on to us, but just hasn't said anything."

To his surprise, Asuka shivered. "What's wrong?"

Asuka was silent for a minute. "If she knows, maybe she won't say anything, sure, but if she can figure it out so can others. And if others figure it out, it can get back to Misato, and she can... make us stop this." She squeezed her arms around him. "I... don't want to stop, Shinji. I... need this. I need you. I can't be alone again."

Shinji considered the idea himself. Being alone again, spending the nights in hollow solitude in his room, the same tracks on his SDAT tape cycling over and over... Cold, lonely, no comforting warmth and steady breathing beside him in the endless, pressing dark... He shivered as well. He wouldn't be able to stand it either. He'd rather give up breathing than lose Asuka next to him at night. He tried to inject as much confidence into his voice as he could. It wasn't a lot. "Ayanami hasn't said a word about what we've been doing with the drugs she had to take and stuff. I told you how we got all those counter-drugs from Doctor Akagi's supplies. She's been keeping that secret pretty tight. I think she's good at keeping secrets." 'I really, really hope she is,' he thought.

Even beneath his fears, Shinji still felt a little glow of happiness. The Asuka of two months ago could never have flatly said to him 'I need you' to him, or anyone. The Shinji of two months ago would never have believed it. Now it felt as natural and necessary as breathing. 'She needs me. She loves me.'

"I just don't want anything to keep us apart. I know you need this just as much as I do." Asuka gave a grim chuckle. "Gott, think about how our Synch Rates would crash if they did try to separate us. Maybe we could use that to blackmail Misato into letting us stay together like this if and when she finds out?"

Shinji laughed softly. "Yeah, maybe." His smile faded. "That day is coming, Asuka. We can't keep this hidden forever. The way being together is changing us alone will give it away eventually. Look at how hard it's getting to keep up the 'we're mad at each other' act."
"I know," she replied. "But I'm happy now, and I don't want anything to change that. I just want to stay like this forever."

A bolt of lightning shot through Shinji. 'Forever. Forever?' He swallowed. There was a question that had been looming in his mind for weeks now, that he'd likewise avoided really facing because he was content to just enjoy the first honest period of happiness he'd had since before he could remember. But like the prospect of them being eventually discovered, it was an inevitable question that had to be asked. "Asuka… where are we going?"

"What?"

"…us. Where are we going? You just said 'forever'. I… I want to stay like this too. I can barely imagine living without you anymore. I think… you feel the same. But I can't even change the will they made us fill out to name you as my beneficiary without everyone asking 'why?'. What are we going to do?"

Asuka's grip on him got tighter. "Don't… You're not allowed to die, baka. Not ever." She lapsed into silence for a minute. "I don't know where we're going. We're teenagers. We're soldiers. It could all end next week. As long as we're together, I don't care. And you already promised me that first morning: 'Together, forever and always'. Until the end of the world, you and me. We stay together until we don't make each other happy any more. And if that means until we're both dead, then that's that." She hugged him again. "We'll get found out one day, maybe soon. When that happens, when we have to go public, no matter what I'm claiming you in front of the whole school. Even if they make us go back to sleeping apart, I'm going to make sure the whole world knows you're mine and I love you."

"Asuka… did… did you just…" Shinji tried to crane his head to see her face. "Are you crying?"

"Just… shut up and hold me, baka."

"…I love you too."

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"Yes!" Touji exclaimed happily. "Lunch lunch lunch! It's the best part of any school day! Especially when it's your cooking, Horaki-san!"

The Class Rep blushed. "Suzuhara-san, you don't have to praise me like that."

"But I like to! I want everyone to know my girlfriend is an awesome cook!" Touji still began to match her blush despite his brave words. He opened the neatly wrapped bento and sniffed deeply. "Mmm! So much better than school food!"

Kensuke gagged and rolled his eyes in the next desk over. Watching his buddy act like a lovestruck fool with his new girlfriend was halfway between comedy and disaster. Touji's swing from deriding the Class Rep as a 'pig-tailed, pig-headed dictator' to randomly mumbling about how cute she was had been a mind-warping change over the last several weeks.

"What do you mean, you didn't bring our lunches?!"

Kensuke smirked as he looked towards the front of the classroom. Then again, some things hadn't changed at all…

Shinji cowered beneath Asuka's rage, raising his hands in a futile placating gesture. "L-last night I was very busy with housework and schoolwork! I didn't have time to cook! And we left in a hurry this morning!"

"And because of that, you're telling me I have to go without lunch?!" Asuka yelled at him. "Or eat cafeteria slops?! UGH!"

Touji looked up from a mouthful of Hikari's vegetables and steamed rice. He grinned at the familiar eruption from the redhead. "Oi, oi, what's this? A quarrel between husband and wife?"

Much of the rest of the class exploded in laughter, save for Tanaka and a few of the girls who still harbored designs on the Third Child. Those gave Asuka death glares instead. Her unspoken claim of Shinji as her sole private punching bag and servant was well established.

Shinji and Asuka turned impressive shades of red at the quip and looked at the floor. Asuka particularly seemed in shock, her expression going strangely distant for a second before she and Shinji whirled on Touji and shouted in perfect unison, "It's not like that!" Their synchronicity only caused the laughter to redouble.

Ayanami caught the momentary glance the two Pilots shot between them as Asuka shuffled to her seat and covered her face until the blush faded, but said nothing.

Asuka covered her face with her hands to hide more than the blush and tried to slow her pounding heartbeat. That… that hadn't gone quite as planned. 'No. No. No. Do not think that, Soryu. You can't It's impossible. It's stupid. It's only been two months. Nine weeks. Fifty-three days. It's too soon to even imagine that.' Her heart refused to listen, pounding right along. 'But it sounded so good~' whispered the part of her that had spent too many lonely nights in tears, the part that had pushed so hard to try that first kiss with Shinji. The part that didn't want to ever be alone again.

The part that had heard 'husband and wife' and started singing.

'No. No. No. It's crazy, Soryu. You're teenagers! You even mention it, and he'll think you're insane! And what if he says 'no'?! You could make him run away, leave! What do you do then?' her fears screamed.

'He promised, 'forever and always'. He's just like you. He needs you like you need him. He loves you even without the mask. He's risked his life for you more than once. He'd tear down Heaven for you. He asked where you two were going last night, and when you said 'until we die' he didn't say no…' her hopes countered.

"He's just like me," she whispered to herself. 'He's got to be having the same kinds of thoughts, right? So… I can… ask him. What he thought when Jock-Stooge said that, anyhow. I can do that, right? It's just mentioning a joke and… who are you kidding, Soryu? You can't lie to him like that, not anymore. He knows you better than anyone else in the world, and after that conversation last night it won't exactly be subtle. So we either bury the idea and never mention it for years, or… we really ask him what he thought about it.' Asuka swallowed against a suddenly dry throat. 'Oh Gott, don't let me screw this up!'

''Til death do us part. Until the end of the world. Forever and always. He's already promised. He's mine! He loves me!' sang a deeper part of her.

Crimson eyes carefully watched her, and thought.

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"Pilot Soryu."

"Wondergirl," Asuka grunted in reply. She'd tried not to let the First Child's early arrival this morning ruin her mood. They'd been ready to leave in a hurry whenever Rei knocked to maintain the to-be-used-later excuse that Shinji had forgotten their lunches, but the bluenette had arrived even earlier than they'd expected, so Asuka had been denied her customary last few moments to sneak in a couple more kisses with Shinji before they left for the day.

And now that they were finally on their way home, Rei had stopped them on a random side street on the way and turned to face them with a serious expression on her face. Or as close to a 'serious expression' as Wondergirl got. Two months and a bit of paying closer attention to the First Child and teaching her how social behavior had let Asuka get better at reading the usually stoic Pilot, but it was still a tricky feat.

"I have a request of you and Ikari-kun."

Asuka shared a puzzled glance with Shinji. "Go on."

"I have established a baseline for social physical contact experiments. Now that I have done so, I would like to conduct further experiments with subjects beyond the baseline, to compare the difference between that and subjects I have special feelings towards."

'Special feelings?' Asuka exchanged an even more puzzled look with Shinji. "Er... what?"

"I wish to hug Ikari-kun, to see how that feels different from a hug from classmate Aida-san, my baseline. I believe my feelings for Ikari-kun will produce highly different sensations and emotions."

Asuka felt her hackles start to rise and an almost instinctive growl begin in the base of her throat. "Now wait just a minute here, First Child! You can't just-" she began heatedly.

"And you as well, Pilot Soryu."

Asuka's growl ground to a confused stop. "What?"

"I wish to hug you as well."

"Y... you want to... what? Me?" Asuka tried to wrap her head around the request.

"My feelings for you are similar, but different from those I have for Ikari-kun. You have been a steady support as I weaned myself of the drugs I had been ordered to take and a tireless guide in socialization. I believe hugging you would also prove... beneficial to my exploration," Rei said, a trifle awkwardly.

"I... suppose?" Asuka allowed. "I... damn it, Wondergirl, this is confusing. Just... do it. Go ahead." She waved at Shinji.

Shinji looked from Asuka to Rei in a tiny panic. The last time he'd touched Rei, it hadn't been very graceful or proper. For her part, Rei had the barest hint of a blush on her cheeks. She stepped close to Shinji and gently put her arms around him. She laid her head on Shinji's shoulder and closed her eyes, the faintest smile on her lips.

It was so damned cute Asuka found her jealousy somewhat tempered. "Well, don't just stand there like a stunned duck, baka!" she growled at Shinji. "Put your arms around her too! When someone holds you, you are supposed to hold them right back! You should know that by now!"

Shinji reddened further and he hesitantly raised his arms from his sides to embrace Rei. The First Child made a small 'mmm' when he did. Asuka grit her teeth and let it go on for as long as she could stand.

Just before she was about to demand Wondergirl let him go, Rei raised her head ans stepped back out of Shinji's arms anyway. "Thank you, Ikari-kun. It appears my theory was correct. That was... very pleasant." She turned towards Asuka.

'Ok, this is just strange. Which is par for the course with Wondergirl, I guess,' Asuka thought. She somewhat awkwardly raised her arms to accept Rei's embrace as she stepped in to her space.

It was strangely different experience from holding Shinij. Rei's softer curves and oddly familiar scent were very unlike Shinji's familiar warmth. 'She smells totally like... LCL?' Asuka suddenly recognized with some confusion. Sure, they all smelled like that a lit, but it had been days since their last Synch Test, and Asuka was diligent about scrubbing herself thoroughly in the showers afterward to get as much od it gone as she could. She was even more dedicated about it at home. Her vast array of imported German bath and beauty products weren't there solely due to her vanity. Getting the smell of LCL out was a constant struggle.

But Wondergirl smelled only of soap, young woman, and LCL. It was just... odd.

'Oh, quit trying to distract yourself, Soryu. Wondergirl's not that bad a hugger. This feels... kind of nice.' As much as she loved Shinji, he'd been the only person to hold her like that in years. So having another person hug her as well was still a nice, novel experience.

Rei stepped back away from her after a minute. "I was indeed correct. That was an entirely different and more complex feeling than my baseline, from both of you. Thank you both."

Asuka looked at Shinji again. He gave a small shrug. 'Yeah, I don't know quite what to make of that either.'

"Now I would like to see you two. I think the observation of you both would be very illuminating for me."

Asuka snapped her face towards Rei. "Wait, what? You want to watch us hug?"

"Yes."

"Are you crazy, Wondergirl? I wouldn't touch this baka with a ten foot pole!"

"My feelings for the both of you ensured an extremely different set of reactions compared to my baseline. I believe the feelings you two have for each other will produce an even more marked effect. I wish to observes this closely. You both seem to derive great happiness from it. I wish to experience that as well, even if I can only do it by observation at this time."

Asuka gave Shinji a dismissive look before returning her gaze to Rei. "You think because I hate this baka, you want to watch to what strong feelings you can see when I hug him?" she said sarcastically.

"No, because you love him."

Asuka had to call on years of learning to control her face in trying to conceal the bolt of shock and fear that raced through her. She managed a haughty laugh. "What are you talking about, First? Me? In love with this idiot? Are you drunk?"

"I am not drunk. You and Ikari-kun have been engaged in a clandestine relationship for several weeks now. You have intense romantic feelings for each other. I am..." Rei paused, visibly struggling to find the right word. "Envious," she said eventually.

"Envious?! Are you fucking with me, Wondergirl?"

"I am not 'fucking with you', Pilot Soryu. That is Ikari-kun's job."

The distant cry of an ice cream salesman was the only sound in their small side street for a long minute.

Shinji unfroze first. "Did... did you just make a joke, Ayanami?"

Rei turned her red eyes to him. "Oops?" she said. "Did I do it incorrectly?"

"Nope," Asuka said through a dry mouth, once she had managed to close her dropped jaw. "That... that was pretty spot on." She looked hurriedly around. She knew Section 2 was supposed to have them under constant distant guard, but she rarely if ever spotted them in action. From what Shinji had mentioned about his first attempt at running away from NERV months ago, Section 2 had taken days to track him down, and he hadn't even left the city very far. Asuka had little fear they were actually watching them. "You... you can't tell anyone about us, First. They... they'd separate us. We dont' want that. At all."

Rei's expression was unreadable. "We all have our secrets, Pilot Soryu. You are my friend. I will keep yours."

The sudden relief almost made Asuka's knees buckle. She put one hand on her chest to try calming her heartbeat from the rabbit-fast beat it had kicked up to. "Thank you." She looked at Rei more closely. The merest hint of a smile was on her face. "My friend, huh? Then enough of this 'Pilot Soryu' formality. Just call me 'Asuka', Wondergirl."

A small but true smile spread on Rei's face. "Then please call me 'Rei', Asuka." She gave a small bow at Shinji. "And you, Ikari-kun."

Shinji blushed again. "Aya-... Rei. Please call me 'Shinji'."

Asuka shook her head. "So what gave us away? I thought we were pretty convincing today."

"You were, but your anger when other girls would attempt to flirt with Ik-... with Shinji was noticeable. Also, you both came back from the 'bathroom' smiling and smelling like the cleaning closet two weeks ago." She looked between them again. "So may I see you hug now? I wish to observe this 'love'. Wink wink nudge nudge."

Shinji turned bright red again.

Asuka stared at her, then began laughing. "Oh Gott, Wondergirl... you and humor is going to be a whole new teaching campaign for me, isn't it?"

"Nyuk nyuk nyuk."