*WOW it only took my two days to write this holy shit new record.*
Alex POV
That Thursday afternoon found the group of four sitting at the counter at the Grind-Stone, drinking milkshakes and laughing about Thomas Jefferson's latest Facebook status. He'd blocked them all, but James Madison kept sending them screenshots (on the condition that they never told Thomas about it). Alex chewed on his hoodie strings, grinning, adding his own comments here and there, but mostly just listening- he was pretty tired. He was also a little preoccupied with staring at one of the members of their party. John was wearing one of Hercules' shirts today, as he'd suddenly decided to do all his laundry at once, and most of his clothes were still wet. It hung adorably large on him, reaching almost to his knees and exposing his collar bones- something Alex was certainly not complaining about- and the large jacket he wore over the top was thick and broadened his shoulders, even if he complained that it didn't do shit when it came to the cold. Lafayette had picked it out for him, with a laugh and a wink and a "beauty is pain, monsieur Laurens." Alex definitely agreed about the beauty part.
Laf had tried to pick out clothes for him, too, but he'd adamantly refused to let them, no matter how much his friend made puppy-eyes at him in the men's section of their favourite clothing store. Baggy hoodies and jeans, that he could deal with- they billowed out and hid his body; if they were baggy enough, it looked like he could be thinner underneath- but anything tighter, anything shorter, and far too much of him was on display. Laf had started to talk about using his shape and showing off his curves and he'd cut the conversation off right there. It wasn't one he wanted to have- ever, and certainly not with someone as skinny, toned, and otherwise conventionally attractive as Lafayette. They just... saw things from a different perspective. It was a privilege, in a way, he thought- like how men would make offensive comments that only women really picked up on, because they were the ones on the receiving end. It wasn't nearly as serious, he knew, but then Lafayette would go and say something about how he had a good figure to work with and he couldn't help but lace it with negative connotations. He knew they didn't mean to hurt him, but they didn't correct themselves when he visibly winced at the use of the words chunky or wide. That afternoon had been an uncomfortable one.
Lafayette themself was experimenting more and more with their wardrobe. They'd always been more expressive-used brighter colours, patterned materials, clothes that were traditionally more feminine- but it was only since they'd come out that they shopped openly in the women's section. They had confessed to him, John, and Herc that they had wanted to try wearing women's clothes for a long time, but had never worked up the courage. Today, in a stylish women's coat with sequins sown around the collar and their hair pulled back into a high bun that brought out their cheekbones, Alex was sure that, if he hadn't already seen them in pyjamas, screaming at Mario Kart with pizza hanging out of their mouth, he would have taken them for an angel. And, as it was, it was a close call.
John drew them a lot- claiming they were one of the most interesting subjects he'd ever had, and Alex was honestly blown away by how good they were- that little sketch of Angelica he'd seen was nothing to his detailed works. What he captured best was the feel of the person, their mood expressed through the tension and flow in their bodies- John's pictures felt alive, and he told John so at great length, rambling in a way only Alex could, in spite of (or perhaps because of) the heated blush that rose in his friend's cheeks with every word. John looked even more beautiful when he was blushing, so Alex tried to make it happen as often as he could- and, knowing John couldn't take compliments at all, he took great care to tell him on a regular basis just how great his art was, how pretty his voice was (Herc, Laf, and John were always singing), how nice he was- though he avoided the topic of physical appearance. That way lead to him saying a little too much and making him genuinely uncomfortable.
Hercules, for his part, looked like he saw a glimpse of the other side every time Lafayette walked through a door these days. He remembered John's Christmas deadline and felt that he wholeheartedly agreed with it- he couldn't imagine how the poor guy had coped with this pining for literal years- and with being the only person in the squad that wasn't part of it. The two made disgustingly obvious heart-eyes at each other at regular intervals, but somehow always seemed to miss each other, which was nothing short of infuriating. Right now, it was Hercules, staring at Lafayette's face dreamily, as if transfixed, while they looked contentedly out of the window. He caught John's gaze and rolled his eyes, making the guy grin and do the same. "These two." he mouthed.
"Hey- I think that there is someone coming. You had better get behind the counter, John." Lafayette commented, peering out through the shop-front windows. They were fogged with condensation from the warmth inside- the November winds had become bitingly cold over the last few days, and Alex couldn't see anything through them.
"You think?" John asked, squinting too. "I can't see shit."
"There is a moving shape." Laf shrugged. "See- they are coming in." Sure enough, a shadow appeared behind the glass and a small figure came into view- and a very familiar one at that.
"Holy shit." he heard John mutter.
Aaron Burr shouldered weakly through the door, dripping wet and shivering, and Alex felt his stomach drop at the sight of him. He looked absolutely terrible. He had noticed that Burr had seemed under the weather the last couple of weeks, but, not having known him that long, had hoped that the exhaustion and such was normal for him- hey, some people were just naturally really skinny, and heaven knew he himself regularly went without a healthy amount of sleep. Looking at him now, though, it was impossible to ignore the obvious signs of a man breaking down. His face was drawn, skull-like, his whole body hunched over, only a thin cardigan hanging from his wiry frame to protect him from the cold- he was surprised the poor man hadn't frozen to death. He didn't smile as he approached them, not even the pained, forced one he so often wore, but took a seat by the bar and slumped over with his head in the crook of his arm, closing his eyes immediately.
"Jesus Christ, Burr…" Hercules murmured, staring at him. Aaron only grunted in acknowledgement.
"Here." John placed a hot cup of coffee in front of him, and he looked up in groggy surprise.
"I don't have any money…" he muttered, frowning, squinting up at Laurens as though the dim lights in the café stung his eyes.
"It's on me." Aaron opened his mouth to protest, but John cut him off. "Please, Aaron. Just take it." With a grimace that might once have been a grateful smile, Burr took the cup. He held it close to him, letting the steam rise up over his face, and sighed.
"I- ... Thanks."
"Anytime."
After a few minutes of silence (none of them tried to restart their previous conversation) Aaron looked around at them and raised his eyebrows a fraction.
"Please, don't shut up on my account. What have you all been up to? Jefferson being a pain?- come on, it'll distract me."
'From what?'
Not voicing that thought, Alex pulled up the picture of Jefferson's Facebook status and winced when a painful-sounding chuckle fell from Burr's lips. He looked like he was barely held together- like at any second, the strings would snap and he'd be a pile of rags on the floor.
"Ha. Someone needs to sit that man down and have a serious talk about emojis." Alexander forced a laugh.
"Yeah."
Silence. Alex felt almost sick. Aaron looked like he was dying. There was no other way to really say it- he was rake-thin, his skin gone an unpleasant shade of grey, and any light that had once been in his eyes was gone. He didn't know what to say. Nothing would distract him from the way the skin of Aaron's face was stretched taught as he spoke, how his hands spread like spiders on his coffee cup. Burr looked around at the group again, seeming resigned.
"You guys... could you, you know, not stare at me like I've got the black death? I know I don't look too great, but- "
"Not too great?" Hercules croaked. "Dude, you look like you're about to drop dead." Aaron winced.
"Okay, okay, but... please, just- can we talk about something? Anything, other than me? I need... I don't want to think about it." His eyes were red-rimmed, and pleading.
It was Lafayette that spoke first.
"I- uh- I have some news." they ventured, rolling their straw between their fingers. Sitting up, Aaron turned his attention to them.
"Hmm? Shoot."
"I- " Laf swallowed, choosing their words. "I realised that I am non-binary, and I came out to these three on Sunday. I am sort of… working my way through the rest of our friends, so to speak." Aaron looked like he was incapable of any emotion other than exhaustion at that moment, but he managed a strained smile and a nod.
"Oh, congrats. Coming out can be tough- what pronouns would you like me to use?"
"They/them/theirs. And- merci. Having good friends makes it easier, though."
"I'm sure. Who else have you told?"
"Eliza, Angelica, and Maria- not Madison yet, but I will when I see him next. A few people at work, whom I trust. That is all, really. Hopefully, others will pick up because of the pronoun change."
"Alright. Just checking- I didn't want to out you by mistake if there was someone you didn't want to know."
"Merci, Aaron. You are very considerate."
"I try." he grunted, taking a swig of his coffee and wincing as it burned the back of his throat, then lay his head on his arms again, completely obscuring his face.
Just then, the bell at the front of the shop rang out, and a young woman in a long maroon coat and a slouching beanie walked in. Alex thought he recognised her face- she looked vaguely familiar, but he couldn't place exactly where he'd seen her before. Her long, thick braids fell in a waterfall down her back, dark, rosy skin contrasted by a gold nose-ring and a glinting gold tooth in the corner of her mouth. Her eyes sparkled behind her glasses.
She approached the counter with a smile, and a soft laugh as John got down from where he was seated on top of it and made ready to take her order.
"Hello again." he greeted her. "Back for more?"
"You remember me?" Ah, now he remembered. She'd come in, before, when he was there talking to John. John flashed her a toothy smile.
"Well, yeah. You're interesting." Then he hesitated, thinking over the words. Alex saw panic pass in his eyes. "That- uh- that probably sounds really weird, I'm sorry- it's just- Well, I'm an artist, sort of, so when I see someone interesting, I- I guess I notice, and- " but the woman was chuckling warmly, waving a dismissive hand.
"No, no, I understand completely. I'm a writer myself, and I feel exactly the same way. I tried to write a piece on the person you were sitting with back then- are they-?" she looked around, and, to his great surprise, smiled when her eyes fell on Alex. "Yes, them. I found them simply fascinating, but I couldn't find the words to describe them. Everything I wrote felt so still." It was John's turn to laugh- delightedly- and shake his head.
"I know exactly how you feel. He's an odd one, our Alexander." Alex could feel himself blushing deeply under the attention.
"You- you tried to write about me?" he stuttered, wide-eyed. The woman laughed- a warm, open sound- at his disbelief, and nodded.
"Yes, I did. On my bus, just after I had left. You're a very interesting person." Alex didn't have anything to say to that. Both Hercules and Lafayette were also staring at her, seeming almost as star-struck as he felt- and something she had said had caught his attention.
"You- uh- you used neutral pronouns for me; why?" he asked her. "It's not a problem, or anything, I was just surprised." She shrugged, still smiling.
"I don't like to assume pronouns. I figure 'they' covers male, neutral, or female, and if someone goes by xi/xir or something else, they're welcome to correct me. I'd use 'he' for you now, because your friend did, but before, I didn't know, you see?" Alex did see. He was in a state of slight awe- and felt a little guilty for assuming the stranger's pronouns himself. He corrected them in his head, making a mental note to ask what they preferred to go by.
"So, what can I get for you today?" John was saying. They thought for a second, and then shrugged one shoulder as they answered.
"Honestly, that salted caramel frapuccino was one of the best things I've ever tasted, so a small one of those, and..." they frowned, and made a popping sound with their deep crimson lips as they scanned the menu. "A... cranberry chocolate muffin, please."
"Coming right up."
After they had paid, and as John got started on their drink, the still-smiling person (Alex was tempted to substitute 'goddess') took a seat next to Alexander, who caught a whiff of something that smelled like baking bread and sugar as soon as they were next to him.
"You bake?" he asked, without thinking, and then winced at how rude that might sound. They only laughed, however, and nodded.
"I work at the bakery down the road. 'Abuela's', it's called."
"Oh, hey, I've been there a couple of times." Hercules put in with a smile of his own. "Best damn pretzels I've tasted in my life." Lafayette mimed retching.
"You are disgusting, mon ami. How you can eat those twisted salt tubes is a mystery I will never solve. But..." they conceded, "-their chocolate tarts are to die for." The stranger chuckled and blushed a little.
"Well, thank you."
"It's a family place?" Alex asked. They looked up in surprise.
"Yes, actually, how did you know?" He shrugged.
"Abuela's- 'Grandma's'- I guessed."
"You speak Spanish?"
"Sí , lo he sabido desde que era joven."
"Woah, slow down, I'm only learning." Their laugh was bright.
"Hey- Alex, since when do you speak Spanish?"
"Since... forever, I guess?"
"Shut up."
"Oh, you know me better than that, Hercules."
"Your drink, Your Majesty." John put the cup down in front of them with a half-bow, and they raised their eyebrows.
"Your Majesty?" He shrugged.
"It's gender-neutral." A chuckle.
"Thank you, but I'm using she/her- at least, today. Do I get some names to put to these faces, then?" she asked, looking around at them.
"Oh, sure." John smiled. After a gesture from him, they went around the wonky sort of circle.
"I'm Alexander, or Alex." Alex told her, and shook her hand. Her handshake was soft, and dry, and warm, and he felt her rings dig into his fingers. "And- him/his."
"John, him/his."
"Hercules- Herc, if you don't mind. Him/his, too."
"My name is Lafayette, or 'Laf', if you preffer. I..." they hesitated, looking nervous, but then plowed ahead. "I use they/them, if you don't mind. I- uh- I only came out a few days ago." The woman's eyebrows rose about an inch.
"Really? Well done, then. Coming out to new people can be tricky early on."
"Merci- thank you. It was not so hard, with you- you had already expressed your acceptance."
"Still. Don't tell me logic comes into it- we both know that's not true." Laf chuckled.
"I suppose you are right. Oh- and this is Aaron." They leaned back to allow her a view of Burr's hunched form; Alex was pretty sure that he had fallen asleep. The several muted scarves draped around his neck spread out around him like a pool, and most of his head was hidden. "He is not usually so..." They hesitated. Hercules finished for them.
"Comatose."
"Is he alright?" The young woman looked over at Aaron, seeming worried.
"Exhausted. And sick, we think." Herc admitted. "His health's just plummeted recently, and we're not sure why. We're pretty worried about him."
"Hey, he's pulled through stuff like this before." John cut in. Alex looked around, surprised.
"He has?"
"Yeah, he- oh, that's right, it was before we met you- he used to be like this more often, actually. But- " John grimaced. "It was never quite this bad."
"Laf, poke him or something so he can finish his coffee while it's hot. Goodness knows he needs it." Laf put a gentle hand on Burr's shoulder, shaking him slightly.
"Little Burr." they murmured. "You must wake up, please?" Aaron groaned and shifted, screwing his eyes tightly as he roused himself. He raised his head slowly, and Alex saw their new friend's (Friend? Could he call her that? He certainly hoped so.) eyes widen as she caught sight of his haggard, skeletal face. Burr rubbed his eyes, looked around at Laf, and croaked "How long was I out?"
"Only a few minutes, mon cher, but your coffee is growing cold. You need the heat inside you." They pushed the cup towards him and he accepted it numbly, taking a large gulp that he almost choked on.
"Thanks."
"Here." John pushed a plate with a plate with two cranberry muffins onto the table. "Aaron, you have one of these. I wish we sold something other than desserts, but we're out of bagels- this'll have to do, and I guess the sugar might perk you up." Aaron's face seemed to fall even further. He frowned and shook his head.
"John, I- I can't keep accepting all this."
"Don't worry, it's a special one-time-only d- "
"John- "
"It says that people who look like they've literally crawled out of their own graves get free shit." John folded his arms. "I am not negotiating with you on this, Aaron."
"But- "
"Just shut up and eat the goddamn muffin." They stared at each other for a moment, Burr's expression as beat-down as ever, John's defiant. Aaron sighed.
"Alright." He picked it up and took a bite, looking pointedly at him. John gave a short nod of approval.
"Oh- uh- the other one's yours." he said to the young woman, who took it, smiling, but looking worriedly at Aaron.
"Thank you."
"We never got your name..."
"Oh- it's Theodosia." she told them.
Aaron's head jerked up to look at her, surprise on his face. Poor guy; he probably hadn't even noticed her until then. Hercules introduced them.
"Aaron, this is Theodosia. She's cool and she's been hanging with us while you were passed out. Theodosia, Aaron."
"Hi, it's nice to meet you." Theodosia said warmly, extending a hand towards him. Burr didn't take it immediately, but stared at the young woman with wide eyes, seemingly transfixed. Laf nudged him.
"Oh- uh- yes, nice to meet you too." he said, and shook the proffered hand. "Th- Theodosia..."
"Odd name, I know." she said.
"Unusual, yes... it's beautiful." Burr murmured. Their hands were still locked across Lafayette. Theodosia smiled, blushing slightly.
"Thank you."
A few seconds passed, before Aaron released her hand, looking a little embarrassed. John shot Alexander a knowing smile over Burr's head, and Alex winked in return. John hadn't even seen what Burr's face had looked like, and he still knew what was going on- but Alex had had a front row seat. Aaron had literal stars in his eyes. He found himself hoping that Theodosia came to the Grind Stone more often, if only to see calm, collected Aaron flustered like that. And, if he wasn't mistaken, Theodosia's eyes had lingered as well... though that could have just been in worry over his appearance. Still, she was smiling at him softly, and Aaron looked as though he'd been touched by an angel. Definitely a promising start.
Before any of them could say anything else, Theodosia's watch had given out a sharp buzz and she had got to her feet, taking her drink in hand.
"Well, I have to go." she said. "But it was lovely meeting you all. Perhaps I'll see you here again?"
"I hope so." John grinned, and the others murmured their agreement. "Bye, Theodosia."
"Goodbye." She left the shop with a bright smile and a wave, and Alexander watched Burr's eyes follow her dazedly until she passed out of sight. Once she was gone, John let out a low whistle, leaning very close to him across the counter and batting his eyelashes.
"Well, she was nice, wasn't she, Aaron." he smirked. A little colour rose in Burr's cheeks, but he didn't react otherwise.
"Yes, she was." he said, simply. John sighed.
"Oh, you're no fun."
"I haven't slept more than two hours solid since last Sunday, Laurens, give a man a break."
None of them had much to say to that.
A little while later, Angelica arrived to take over John's shift, and the four made to head out. John had a few whispered words to her in regards to Aaron by the door, and she strode over to the man with a worried but stern expression.
"Aaron Burr." she said. "I am going to go and fetch you a blanket from the store cupboard- or maybe three, you look frozen- and then you are going to sleep in one of the free booths for as long as is humanly possible. You are also going to finish that muffin, and eat the sandwiched that I brought with me. Do you understand?"
"But I- "
"And then you are going to book a doctor's appointment- which I will pay for if they charge. You'll only get worse without medical help." Her expression didn't leave much room for argument. He nodded mutely. They watched as she headed to the back room, and waved to Aaron as they left. He raised a hand slightly in response, eyes starting to droop again. Chalk one up for Angelica, Alex thought.
They ran most of the way home, (home?) as the rain had started to pick up and was rapidly becoming more and more like sleet. Alex, even in his three thick layers, felt the cold in his bones- he'd never got used to it since moving to New York. They hadn't had weather like this back where he'd come from.
Once they got back to the apartment, they decided they weren't in the mood for a movie, so Hercules pulled a tray of games from underneath the couch. Nothing fancy- they had drafts, chess, a few packs of cards, Risk ("Absolutely not." Lafayette said. "This game is to be played only when seriously drunk, Alexander, otherwise we will end up hating each other by the end."), some kind of puzzle made entirely of triangular blocks- the aim was to make a cube- and Uno. Uno was also refused in respect of their friendship, so Laf and Herc took out the chess board, while John started to show Alex how to play clock patience- he picked it up quickly, and managed to beat him on their third game.
It was decidedly becoming evening, and Alex was lying half on top of Herc on John's bed, while John complained that they were taking up too much space, when Lafayette, who had left to get a drink, returned with a stony expression on their face.
"Geez, who died?" Hercules asked. Laf didn't laugh. They were twisting the hem of their shirt between their fingers, jaw locked, and looked like they were fighting to keep their resolve.
"Hercules?" they asked. "Please could you come through to the kitchen with me? I need to talk to you about something." Alex and John looked around at Hercules, whose expression was as confused as Alexander felt.
"O- kay…" he said, slipping out from underneath Alexander and heading for the door. "Sure, what is it?"
"In a second." Lafayette shot John a particularly poisonous look, before following their friend to the kitchen.
This left Alex and John sprawled on the bed, rather non-plussed, staring after them. What on earth was Lafayette going to say to him? They had looked almost as nervous as when they had come out, and there was only one possibility that came into Alexander's head. He looked to John, who appeared to be thinking the same thing.
"You don't think they're- ?"
"Do you think- ?"
"What if they- ?"
They stared at each other. A grin slowly worked itself across John's face.
"They're going to do it." he muttered. "They're going to tell them they like him."
"You think so?"
"What else could it be? They seemed pretty nervous… I bet, since they came out, they're like- 'no more secrets', you know?"
"Maybe… I can't think of anything else."
"Me neither. Oh god I hope we're right… those two have been dancing around each other for so long…"
"That's true. But we shouldn't jump to conclusions. Maybe they're just, I don't know, going to admit that it was them that ate all his pop-tarts the other day." John shook his head.
"Nah, that was me."
They sat in silence for almost a minute, ears trained for any sound from the kitchen. They could hear Lafayette talking, but it was muffled enough to obscure any actual words, and John was clearly growing impatient.
"I'm going to go spy on them." he told Alex, pushing himself to his feet.
"What? John, come on, respect their privacy." Alex gripped his wrist to keep him from going. "If Laf took Herc out, it could be something they don't want us to hear." he pointed out. John scowled, but sat back down.
"Ugh, why are you always right?"
"I'm not. Remember last Tuesday, when I thought it would be a good idea to clean the spilled food with washing up liquid, and then added lard to cancel out the alkaline?"
"You were drunk."
"That doesn't make me right."
After a couple of minutes more, however, Alexander's curiosity was getting the better of him.
"Yeah, let's go spy on them." he muttered, grabbing John's hand and towing him out into the hall. He didn't bother to worry about the gesture- right now, they were spies- there were more important things than how well their hands slotted together- how easily John's fingers laced with his. Important things like the fact that the door to the kitchen was slightly ajar, and, through it, they had a very clear view of their two friends- a very clear view of the fact that Lafayette's fingers were closed on the hem of Herc's jumper, and they were kissing him like their life depended on it. And Herc was kissing them back, deeply, his own broad hands splayed possessively on their waist, edging their lips apart with his tongue and making them groan against him, pulling them so close it seemed he'd never let go.
"FUCKING FINALLY!"
The shout from behind him made him jump out of his skin, and Lafayette and Hercules broke apart. Both stared at them, blushing furiously, Lafayette's shirt disarranged and their hair dishevelled, while Herc merely looked as though he'd been given an electric shock.
"We-"
"I-"
"John, you-" they spluttered over each other, but were cut off when John barrelled into the kitchen, dragging Alex by their still-joined hands, and punched them, one after the other, hard.
"Hey, what the hell, man?"
"That's for taking so goddamn long to get the fuck on with it!"
"John, this hardly seems-"
"No- I had to watch you two pine for years- years, Lafayette- and you never believed me- do you know how awful that was?"
"Dude-"
"Eighth grade, man! I haven't had a moment's peace since eighth grade!" John yelled, dropping Alex's hand to throw both of his own up in the air. Laf and Herc glanced at each other, and then back to him.
"I… sorry?"
"Damn right you're sorry! I cannot believe it took you idiots this long." He folded his arms. "So. Have either of you asked the other out yet, or were you just making out?"
"We… uh, I asked him."
"And?"
"I said yes." Hercules looked exasperated. "What the fuck do you think I said, dude?"
"So, you're dating? Lafayette, Hercules is now officially your boyfriend?"
"Yes, mon ami."
John punched the air.
"Motherfucking finally! You know, I was going to shove you in a closet together if you didn't sort your shit out before Christmas, but , congrats, you've avoided that."
"You were going to what?"
"Angelica agreed to help me." Herc rolled his eyes.
"You're unbelievable."
"I don't care. You two finally got together- I couldn't give less of a flying fuck what you think of me right now." Lafayette snorted.
"Well, I am glad you approve, at least. Alexander? What you think?" Alex grinned.
"You two are disgustingly cute. I almost ripped my own face off watching you pine for two weeks- I think John deserves a medal for dealing with it for so long." John beamed and threw his arms around him.
"See, Alexander appreciates my struggles. He's definitely my favourite now."
"So, we can go on double dates, mon ami?" John punched Lafayette's arm playfully.
"With who? Jefferson and Madison?"
"No way. I am not getting involved in that mess."
"How about Theodosia and Burr?" Alex pointed out. "Don't tell me you two missed those heart-eyes."
"We certainly did not, petit lion. We must certainly play matchmaker for those two." Laf smirked. "Our little Burr was smitten in a heartbeat."
Like someone else I know, Alex thought.
As happy as he was for the new couple, he couldn't stop the twinge of jealousy as he watched them smile and hold hands when John threw his arms around both of them a few moments later- with a muttered "I hate you guys." and something close to a sob.
He imagined the roles reversed. What if he told John how he felt? He couldn't begin to hope for such a happy ending; John wouldn't grip his waist and kiss him like there was no tomorrow if he ever came clean- he would push him away. Laf and Herc were so lucky. And even Burr had a chance- Theodosia had seemed taken with him herself, but he, Alexander, had just had to fall for a guy that could never see him as more than a friend. A good friend- his best friend, John had actually admitted to him a couple of days before, but his heart had sunk at the title. He had always resented those guys that complained about being in the friend-zone- and he certainly wasn't about to become one of them; John wasn't obliged to like him- he had no reason to, after all, but seeing him smile at him, hug him, tell him he was his best friend, when he wanted so much more, was sickening. He hated himself for it, but there it was. John would never look at him that way. It was absolutely hopeless.
Man, the friend-zone sucked. But hey- John laced his fingers with Alex's again as the group made their way back to the living room, and curled up with him on the couch while Laf explained exactly why they had chosen to reveal their feelings, and thought that maybe, just maybe, this could be enough. Just being in John's life, as a friend, if never more- so long as John kept smiling at him like that, laughing with him, hugging him- running his long fingers through Alex's hair as he had just started to do... Yeah. He thought he could probably live with that.
*So you may have noticed that I am in love with Theo Sr. She's an angel and I love her.
Hope you enjoyed- I might not be posting much for a little while since my school starts up again tomorrow, but I'll do my best! See you in the next one, biscuits!*