Raoul

Where was my beautiful date? I searched and searched all night for her. Where has she disappeared to? No one had ever left me on a date before, especially at a ball. How will I ever find her if she keeps disappearing on me? She must like me, I mean how can she not? If something was wrong I should have noticed it the first time she danced with me, but it seemed almost natural. We laughed and had a marvelous time. So why was I nervously walking around the entire ball room?

It was because of that stranger. The one she danced with for so long. The way they looked at each other, it was the way my parents use to look at each other before my mother died, well my first mother. They were so in love, but after the accident my mother was never the same. She died a little while ago, but my father has re-married. I can understand why, for our business and reputation but from the moment they were married I knew that they didn't really love each other. Maria was a lady who searched for fortune and my father just wanted someone to please him.

For some reason, I needed this girl to be mine. I didn't believe Issac's words for a minute, but somehow they had spread doubts in my mind about Christine. They were telling me awful things but my heart was screaming for joy because I have found the person I have wanted to be with. Or maybe I wanted another toy, who knows. All I know was that girl had some kind of hold on me and I needed to make a choice; to pursue her, or allow her to walk out of my life, with a little night at my home, of course. I wanted to taste her, to be with her, to feel her and it was a very strong need I hadn't felt since my first woman.

"Raoul, you must sit and calm your nerves. Or better yet, why don't you go and dance with the other ladies? Hmm? That might help your wanting." Issac chuckled as he followed me everywhere I went. I stopped and faced him.

"I can't just forget about her, Issac. I believe she is the one. Christine is so different and I want her, so bad. It's as if my heart were screaming and my mind was telling it to be quiet. Christine is smart, beautiful, so funny and she made me smile. I hadn't smiled like that in so long, Issac. She is like the wind. She is so open and free, but you can't catch her with hands and money. It's going to be difficult to get Christine to love me. Or simply be with me for that matter. That is why I must find her." I turned away but before I could go Issac grabbed my arm.

"Monsieur, please. This girl will only break your heart, steal your riches and runaway as fast as she can. She is and always will be, an opera tart. Why don't you find another girl for tonight and you can worry about Christine when you see her."

I sighed and looked around. All of these people dancing, having a grand old time while my life is in chaos, disgusted me. Then I noticed a girl, a beautiful girl. She smiled at me and for the rest of the night, my desire and charm took over and I pursued the girl until I woke up the next morning with her beside me. I woke up with sorrow. I had another dream of Erik. This one was more of a memory, the one with him and that servant girl. The beautiful one with eyes that sang with the heavens. I remember her very clearly, and I remember Erik taking a liking to her as well. I remembered jealous, hate and rage. That's what had woken me, the anger.

I am the Vicomte de Changy. I shouldn't be worrying about nightmares or forgotten memories. I should be worried about parties, money and all of the women I could get my hands on. I looked over at the girl next to me, I had forgotten her name, and I looked at her for a long time. She had blonder hair, a nice lean face and a very lovely body, but she wasn't enough. No one will ever be enough, expect perhaps Christine. Today I will find her and I will do everything in my power to make her love me. I kissed the girl, left a note and began my adventure to win Christine's heart.

Erik

Last night was complete bliss. It was our first lesson and I could not stop thinking about it as I walked into my kitchen and began making breakfast for Christine. She was still sleeping, in her bedroom I had made specifically for her during my down time. Christine was so beautiful and peaceful when she slept, and I just could not keep away. I went into her room many times last night just so I can watch her sleep. Sleep was a beautiful, amazing thing and even more so when Christine was sleeping. She looked so peaceful and calm. I nearly touched her with my face, because I was so close! I couldn't help it! An angel living in my home, with a monster, must be a sin. It was something I only ever dreamed of happening.

Christine was a little unpracticed with her lesson last night. I could tell from the first note that it would take a while to get her to the point I want her to be, and when she gets there she will be so brilliant all of Paris and France will be at her feet! Now, if only I could prove that to her. She seemed to doubt herself. Every note I told her to sing she was hesitant, then she would apologize for her hesitation and butcher the note. It took many tries of that note to make her feel more comfortable to sing around me. Why she was so nervous around me, I had no idea, but she did reach the note eventually and I was highly impressed when she did it. It was a very high note and that was only the beginning. I have to test her now, to know where her weakest points are, and her strongest. Apparently high octaves throw her off because she lacks the breathing techniques to do them properly. That will be the first thing we will work on.

As I worked in the kitchen, I felt so strange, but it was defiantly a good strange. It was a new whole feeling by having someone else living in my home with me. It was peaceful and it made me feel more human than anything. It's as if Christine really were meant for me, to be my salvation and point me towards the right direction in my life. All of my choices, good or bad, have lead me to her and its astounding to know that even a love like ours can conquer anything. Yes, I am convinced she loves me and that this was love. I have good reason, we laughed last night. We laughed, talked, did our lesson and ate dinner that I had prepared for her. As I said, it was completely and utterly bliss.

I was placing the food on the dinning table when I heard a noise coming from behind me. I turned around and saw the most beautiful girl I had ever seen standing there. She was rubbing her eyes and yawning as she looked at the food I had prepared. Christine then glanced at me and smiled, oh that smile! It could drive me to the depths of hell and back, and I wouldn't care!

"Did you make this all for me?" She breathed as she glanced back in awe at the food.

"Yes. I did. I had no idea what sort of breakfast you are use to so I just made everything I could think of, hoping you would like anything." I walked over to her chair, which I placed at the end of the table next to mine, and pulled it out. She smiled and walked over and sat in it. I sat at the very end and her chair was to the left of mine, just because it would make me feel more comfortable with her being closer to me.

Christine began to eat and I watched of course, not taking one bite, just observing her. I wanted to know everything I could about this girl, even the way she ate. "Did you sleep well?" I asked. She glanced at me and grabbed her napkin to wipe her mouth with. She then nodded and answered.

"Oh yes. That room is simply wonderful. I had no idea you knew so much about what I liked. I loved the colors, the bed, the bathroom, everything. It almost feels peaceful to be in your home." Her words stopped. Christine looked as though she had said too much. She then blushed and quickly looked down. I watched and I soaked it all in. That room was meant to be hers since the moment I made it. I made it as soon as I decided I wanted to teach her. It was quite simple really. I had my secret carriage driver, Richard, gather all of the materials during the day so I could work all night on it and have it ready for her. The room included a giant bed that stood high with tall pillars that had bars connecting it at the top to allow curtains to hang all around the bed, there was a massive wardrobe on the left of the standing in the corner filled with many gowns (which I have noticed she was wearing the light green one with white lace), there was a vanity filled with all kinds of little trinkets I thought she might like, there were giant rugs all over the floor, and the bathroom was a master bathroom. It was filled with a huge tub. I had no idea if she would have liked any of this, but I guess I know my Christine well enough to pick out an entire room for her.

That statement startled me. I looked away from her. I can't be doing this. I am a teacher, not her lover. I should be teaching, not giving her gifts and making her smile... that so wonderful smile. She was breaking my moral code, showing me the life I could have had and yet making it almost impossible to reach. I always knew I would never have a normal life, but for the one single woman who stole my heart bring all of this pain, torture, love, and desire on me was simply unbearable. I have to keep my distance. Music was an essential part of my life and I can't let it slip through my fingers over some girl who doesn't even notice that I love her with all my heart. I sighed.

"Christine, when you are done eating I will take you back to your dressing room for your rehearsal today. I will be in my music room when you are ready." I got up and left the room without another word. I was searching through some music papers when she came and announced she was finished. I led her up to her world, not speaking one word. I had no idea what my values were anymore. She was the light in my life now, not music. But, I can't forget about it. Music was always there, Christine was not. How can I choose something I have spent my entire life learning and using, for something I am so uncertain about? Well, I can't. Music first, Christine was next. This how it began, and that is how its going to finish.

I left her in her dressing room with only, "I will see you tomorrow. I expect to see you right after rehearsal is through, then I will bring you down to do your lessons." She only nodded. "Good day, Christine."

"Goodbye, Erik. I will be here tomorrow."

And with that, I turned and walked away. I shut the mirror behind me and turned to watch her watch me. She stood there for a moment, watching the mirror with a look of sorrow on her face and then opened the door and left. I finally ventured down to my home, cleaned up breakfast, and began playing more music.

The month went just like that. No fun, only business. It was a sad excuse for the time spent with Christine, when I know in my heart it could be so much more. It could be filled with laughter, smiles, and love. I hated myself for allowing Christine to walk away from me with only a Goodnight and a promise to call on her tomorrow. It was horrible. Soon, it will be all better.

Christine was getting extremely better. She was able to hit higher notes with efficiency and accuracy. In the next month she could very well astound everyone, including myself. She loves to push herself when I seem disappointed in her work. Christine is a challenger, and when she knows she has done something wrong, she pushes to exceed higher than she or I could ever believe. She just lacks emotion. I need to grasp her emotions and push it through to her music, only then will she be extraordinary. But I love her voice, not the one I am putting in her. Her voice was so astonishingly beautiful, it was like an angel. It's perfect in tone, shape, in fact almost every single detail. This was proving to be most difficult because I have never taken on a student before, and I never wanted to until I heard Christine, but I can't seem to pull my heart away long enough to actually teach her.

Her voice makes me feel, want, and desire. I watch her sing and I find perfection. It may not be her voice, but she herself is perfection. I watch her and she has no idea I am desiring her, aching down to my core for her. Every gesture, every breath, and every word that comes from her spikes my wanting even higher and it becomes a complicated thing to control while teaching. I never wanted to take students because they were untrained, unwilling, and unprofessional, but Christine changed my whole aspect. Her voice changed my mind, but her body, face and manner have changed my heart. Now, every time she opened her mouth, I imagined kissing it and taking her as mine. My hands all over her body, stroking it and touching every little detail of her.

It's a sin, and I know it, but I can't help it. Not when she is willingly in my home, singing for me and making me feel infinite in every way. But, teaching must come first. Its the whole reason why she was in my life and I can't give up now, not when were so close to perfection.

"I'm not quite comfortable with the upper octave yet, Erik. I can't feel it. I am using the breathing technique, but I still can't feel it." I was awaken from my thoughts as I watched Christine move away from the bow of the piano to glance at a painting on the wall.

"But, you will be. I promise, all it takes a bit of practice."

"Erik, we've been working on this one register for quite sometime and I haven't perfected it yet." Her faced still towards the painting, as if she didn't want to see my reaction to her failure. I was so lost in my thoughts that I hadn't even realized she made a mistake. Damn my accursed thoughts.

"Christine," I said, "Look at me."

She turned and faced me. I sighed and closed the piano lid. "One day you will look back at this moment and think it was ridiculous for ever doubting yourself. You are such an amazing opera singer, and I know you will go far. The only reason why you can't feel the note is because you aren't feeling at all." Her brow began to furrow and she gained a confused look on her face.

"What do you mean?" She stated as she crossed her arms across her chest.

I placed a leg on the other side of the bench so I could face her fully. "I mean, that you have no emotion for this part, Christine. Your voice is good, yes, but there isn't any emotion. You have got to feel your character and bring her to life through your voice. In this scene, Juliet is mourning the exile of her love. You must make me believe that the one person whom you loved the most is gone from your life forever, through your voice. Your voice is the key to your entire performance, and since you are the acting Prima Donna it will be the key to the entire show. All you have to do is to add feeling and you will succeed, I can promise you that."

She still looked confused, so I began to try something else to open up her mind. "Close your eyes." I stated flatly. Christine closed her eyes, as asked. I got up and walked over to her. "Christine," I breathed as I moved closer and closer to her. "In order to play the part, you have to be the part. Imagine me, as your Romeo. Imagine I am a handsome charming young man that you love and I have been taken away." I walked around her and placed my hands on her hips. "You have to feel, Christine. Feel your emotions take over and fill your voice." I pulled her back into me and wrapped my arms around her small body. I heard her gasp and felt her begin to shake. Fear or desire? I had no time to think about it. "Sing for me, my Juliet." I breathed in her ear. I placed my face against her crown and breathed in. She smelled so good, and before I know it she sang.

It wasn't just any singing, it was her singing. Her voice came to life, filled with passion, love and emotion. It was everything I ever could have imagined. She was spectacular, amazing, magnificent. She was becoming everything I ever dreamed she would become. I closed my eyes and held the most amazing girl I have ever met in my arms. Every heart has a complete song that it beats for, and once she found that sweet spot, that tune, it poured out of her like sunlight. Ever since I can remember my heart has sung an incomplete song, but finally another heart has whispered back and it makes me feel like I have reached a whole new level of happiness. For one moment, it was complete heaven. And then that moment ended.

Christine stopped singing and turned herself around in my arms so she was facing me with her hands placed on my arms. "Erik! That was amazing! I have never felt like that before. It was simply outstanding... you were outstanding," she said with such cheerfulness. Then she ducked her head down and blushed. She glanced back up at me and stared right at me. She wasn't looking at my mask or my face, but into my soul.

For a moment we stood there, holding onto one another gazing at each other longingly waiting for someone to break the silence, then I remembered my role as a teacher. I cleared my throat and moved away from her. I had to remember my duty to music... music comes first.

"Good. Very good, Christine. Hopefully you show just what you did there to everyone on the night of the performance. You did extremely well." I looked at her and noticed her brow furrowed, her hands moved out in front of her and her sadness was filled with confusion and it was written all over her face. This was beginning to become very complicated. "Get your coat, and I will take you back up." She stood there, unmoving, and finally she nodded and left to retrieve her coat. The minute she was gone I let out a breathe and gripped the wall. What in the world was happening? My desire was out of control. I nearly wanted to kiss her and take her as mine while we stood there. What was she thinking? Was she regretting everything? Did she want more, just as I did? Does she even love me? These are the questions that pierce through my head every time she looked at me.

The journey back up was quiet and long. I nearly wanted to scream in frustration because she wasn't saying anything. Christine was the hardest person to read and I had no idea what to do anymore. Her lessons were nearly completed, and then what will happen? Should I peruse her? Should I let her go? I had no idea. I guess I will have to wait until the time comes for these sort of answers. I was nearly startled out of my thoughts as Christine broke the silence.

"Erik?" she whispered, knowing full well I could hear her.

"Yes, Christine?" I asked.

"I was wondering, now I would only do it with your permission of course since you are my mentor and my teacher, that I could skip tomorrows lesson and go out instead."

What an odd request. "What do you mean?" I looked back at her and noticed she was watching her feet the entire time.

"I was simply suggesting that maybe, I could go out tomorrow with someone." She glanced up at me and then looked back down. She looked ashamed.

"May I ask who this someone is?" as I turned back around and began to walk again.

"He was the boy who was my date at the ball."

I sighed and closed my eyes. She wanted to be with him. How can I say no to that? She wasn't mine yet, and I had no intention of making her my prisoner. I guess the answer was staring me right in the face, the thing is, is that I didn't want to see it. I brought both of my hands to my face and rubbed them down, even the masked the side. "Does this boy have a name, Christine? Does he love music? Has he heard you sing?"

Christine looked up at me and held my gaze. "Well, his name is Raoul." I stopped in my tracks as my heart dropped down to my toes. "He's The Vicomte de Changy. The opera's biggest patron and he fancies me. Erik? Is something wrong?"

I couldn't breathe. It was like my entire world collapsed, again. I whipped around and grabbed Christine by the shoulders, not even realizing the pain I was causing. Therefore, what happened next was shrouded by anger and hate, not towards Christine, but towards my brother.