CHAPTER 10 : THE TRUTH WILL OUT
Arthur had a visitor the following morning before he went to therapy. She worked with social services and she was doing a follow up on a report that had been on her desk when she had arrived that morning. It had priority, as it concerned a physical altercation which had taken place within the hospital.
Arthur hadn't slept well even with the medication which Dr. Mooney had prescribed. His mind wouldn't relax and he kept replaying his father's charging into the room and hearing Merlin hit the wall. He seemed to have spent the night opening his eyes to glance at the door to see if his father were there. He answered her questions as best he could and asked her if she knew anything about Merlin's condition. She explained that she had not yet met with him but would as was necessary procedure for an incident which had required an A&E visit.
She asked if there was anything Arthur would like to add to his statement. He shook his head and she informed him that he would probably be receiving a visit from the police as the incident was considered an assault. She wished him a good day and left.
Arthur felt sick. He knew in retrospect that his father had been outraged seeing Merlin hugging him but deep down, he knew that being hugged at that moment was more important than anything his father could ever have said or done. His whole world had just crashed and Merlin's arms around him had given him the courage to face his friend's death. He felt so guilty that Merlin had been hurt and he intended to make it up to him even if it took a lifetime. Neither of them had done anything wrong. He had to acknowledge that his father was a bitter judgemental man for whom as an adult, he had never had any respect or feeling.
-0-0-
Merlin woke to Spot purring in his face. He opened his eyes and smiled at the cat, thinking, 'Some Alarm clock!' He rolled over and the pain hit him taking his breath away. He realised he'd whimpered as Spot looked at him quizzically and there was a discreet tap at his door as his mother said, "Merlin Dear, are you all right?"
He shifted himself onto his back and said, "I forgot about my shoulder…"
"Well, do you want to get up or have breakfast in bed?"
Merlin smiled, it must be bad if his mother was offering him breakfast in bed as that was an occasion saved for very special circumstances. He called out, "No, I need to get up but I think I could do with a hand."
Hunith came in all business like and putting her arm under Merlin's good shoulder hoisted him upright so he was sitting on the edge of the bed. She knelt slipping his feet into his bedroom slippers and stood back to check her work, "You can't shower but I can help you wash."
Merlin blushed and burst out laughing, "I'm not one of your patients but thanks, Mum, just help me stand up and then I'll be good from there."
She smiled, her son had always been so self-sufficient. She continued, "Oatmeal or eggs and toast? Luckily, I went shopping yesterday and got some food in." He chose oatmeal so she bustled off to prepare it.
Merlin smiled, he made his way to the bathroom and then into the kitchen. He sank onto a chair making sure that he didn't hit his elbow on the table. His pain medication was in front of him with a glass of water. He smiled at his mother thinking, 'Once a mother always a mother.' He really loved her, she'd always be there for him and he knew that she was worried about his friendship with Arthur especially in face of what had happened yesterday.
Gawaine phoned offering a lift to work which Merlin accepted much to his mother's disapproval as she would have liked to have babied him all day. "I'll phone you later to let you know how it's going. I promise I will come home if it is too much for me however, after work you and I are going to see Arthur." His mother nodded, she'd like to hear about the incident from Mr. Pendragon's son. Merlin turned as he left saying cheekily, "A little light dusting might be in order…!"
Hunith laughed…but she was worried. She shook her head saying to the empty flat, "What type of man would physically assault another for trying to help his son get through something horrendous?" She'd like to meet this man face to face and hear what he had to say for himself. She grinned at herself, she could hear Merlin's grandmother saying to her, 'Now, My Dear, you can't right all the problems in the world, he's a sensible boy and stronger than you realise. He'll be a credit to us if you give him space to grow.' Spot brushed against Hunith's legs and she smiled at the cat.
-0-0-
Merlin went into work feeling uncomfortable; he desperately needed to discuss with Gawaine whether or not he should consider leaving his job. He felt as if everyone was judging him. Yes, they were sympathetic with his injury but a bit sceptical when he said that he had just walked into a door jamb.
Mid-morning, he was in the lift and the company's chairman Mr. Hughes who had already questioned his presence at the hospital, got in with his assistant. He nodded at Merlin and said, "Sore arm?" Merlin just nodded and remained silent. Two floors later, he had the elevator to himself. He couldn't breathe. He put out his hand and steadied himself glancing at himself in the mirrored walls. He looked a wreck. He was shaking. He took a pain pill from the vial and swallowed it dry. His gag reflex spun into action and he coughed it back into his hand. He swallowed it again, this time determinedly ordering his throat to stay closed.
The lift opened on his floor and he walked slowly to his department. Gawaine realised something had happened and decided to get Merlin out of the building so, he said, "Lunch time! I think we should go out to get something."
They sat in the sun outside a pub. Merlin said finally, "I think I should hand in my notice." He dropped his head into his good hand, "I feel a nervous wreck and that Uther is waiting for me around every corner."
Gawaine put his hand on his arm and said, "Maybe you should have taken the day off, why don't you go home and take it easy? Arthur will be expecting you later on. Don't make any decision about your job just yet."
"I feel as if I'm giving in to Uther. He had no right to hurt me. He might see me as a gold-digger but, Gawaine, you know I am not… I visited Arthur because he needed a visitor. I didn't mean to…like him so much."
Gawaine smiled as he said, "I think the feeling might be mutual"
Merlin's face lit up slightly as he said, "I hope so. However, I don't think I'm brave enough to deal with his father."
"Don't worry about that now. Do you want a lift home?"
"No, you go back to work; the walk will do me good." He picked up the rest of the bread rolls and said, "Might even visit the ducks in the park."
Gawaine smiled saying, "Something else to tell Arthur about."
-0-0-
Hunith was surprised, pleased yet worried when Merlin opened the door. She waited for him to explain his return but he just said that he felt tired and Gawaine had suggested that he take the rest of the day off.
He sat on the sofa and Hunith got an extra pillow for his shoulder. Spot leapt on his lap and decided to give his hand a good licking. Merlin smiled as he glanced at his mother saying, "She thinks I need a wash..." he hesitated before continuing, "…there's more to the story. When the nurse went to Arthur, Uther stepped over to me, kicked me in the thigh and called me a faggot. He was furious; at that moment, I was really frightened. The look in his eyes was murderous. If looks could have killed, I would be dead..."
Hunith sat on the side of the sofa and carefully put her arms around her son thinking that sometimes, life was so cruel.
His phone rang; Merlin nodded at her so Hunith picked it up. "GGawaine..." she said looking at her son, "Yes, he arrived about fifteen minutes ago." She listened for a while before saying, "How about he phones you later?" She looked at Merlin who again nodded and she put the phone back on the table.
"I'm going to make us a cup of tea. Camomille or lemon?" she said walking across to put on the kettle. Then she went to get the duvet off Merlin's bed, she wrapped it around him, tucking it in. Merlin smiled as he made a little hole so Spot could put out her head if she wished.
They had their tea and Hunith helped Merlin get more comfortable on the sofa. "Don't let me sleep too long as we need to visit Arthur. He'll get worried."
Hunith ruffled her son's hair saying, "I'll wake you up in plenty of time. Now, try to snooze, you'll feel better when you wake up."
Merlin smiled and cuddled down into the duvet, feeling Spot purring against his stomach. Everything was going to be all right, it would be Arthur and him against the world.
Once Merlin was asleep, she took the phone and called Gawaine back. He again mentioned that there had been a call from the hospital security wanting to talk to Merlin. "Mrs. Emrys, I think this might get nasty..."
-0-0-
Merlin stands beside Arthur's bed, the occupant lying flat, his arms motionless at his side. His face has the gaunt look of a coma patient. The beeping machines are silent.
Graham stands at the head of the bed next to Dr. Fells who turns saying to Merlin, "I'm sorry, his heart couldn't take the stress between you and his father. Would you like to be alone for a few minutes?"
Merlin nods. How has this happened? Arthur was fine, they had a picnic last night.
He walks to the head of the bed and leans over to whisper, "Arthur, I love you... Please, don't leave me alone..."
He lets his lips brush against Arthur's, his tears splashing on Arthur's cooling face. He reaches for his hand kissing it, willing it to clasp his in return.
Suddenly, he feels Arthur move, his heart leaps...
He opened his eyes realising it was the little spotted cat stretching against his chest. He was in his flat. He lay there waiting for his heart to return to normal. What in heaven's name was that? He hoped it wasn't a premonition. He carefully swung his legs onto the floor saying, "Come on, Spot, time to get up. I have to go to Arthur."
-0-0-
After speaking with Gawaine, Hunith had decided that Merlin needed to visit Arthur by himself. Gawaine would be picking up Bridie after her shift so he had promised to drop him back at the flat.
Hunith fussed making sure that Merlin's sling was just right and not hampered by his outside jacket. It was raining slightly but he refused to take an umbrella. "I need a free arm to balance," he had told her while attempting to do a pirouette.
She'd let him go and then returned to the kitchen table to sit with her head in her hands and worry waiting for his return. She'd have given anything to have had Merlin's grandmother sitting opposite her keeping her company.
-0-0-
Merlin was stopped by a nurse as he went down the hallway to Arthur's room. She said quietly, "Merlin, he's not there." Dread grabbed his heart as he instantaneously relived the dream. "He's been moved to 527 for his own safety." She asked Merlin to follow her and they walked past the nurses' station to a little corridor where a guard sat at a table. The nurse introduced Merlin to him and he checked to find his name. He smiled pleasantly and told him he might proceed.
The nurse explained that there were rooms off this corridor which were used for prisoners and detainees. Arthur wasn't being detained; the move was in case Mr. Pendragon tried to make an unsupervised visit. Should he find out where his son was now located, he would be refused admittance.
"Is Arthur all right?"
"Yes, he's been to physio and had a few discussions with hospital staff. Dr. Mooney saw him this morning and is pleased with his progress." She motioned to the door, "You can go in. There are only two other patients in his section at the moment so it should be quiet."
Merlin walked into a large double room with two windows. He smiled and before he could stop himself heard himself saying, "You got a twin room, Arthur! Great, I can move in with you!"
Arthur looked up laughing, "Is that a statement of intent?"
Merlin became coy and glancing at his feet, said hardly loud enough for Arthur to hear, "Maybe!"
Grinning Arthur said, "It's a nice room and I can have the whole gang here as there is plenty of room." He saw Merlin's face fall and he said, "Well, not just yet."
It was a nice room; it had two windows overlooking the city, at least four armchairs, a large TV screen and an internet connection. Arthur explained, "I had a meeting with Hospital Accounting and it was agreed that I would as of today assume all my hospital expenses including the choice to be in this wing. My father will no longer be invoiced or admitted to my room."
"Can you afford it? It can get very expensive with private nurses…I could help a little bit."
Arthur swung his chair around and wheeled to the window motioning for Merlin to sit beside him. "I have an annuity from my mother's estate. She was actually richer than my father and all her money came to me. I am not a spendthrift and the bulk of the money is well invested in property and the like. True, I spend money on cars but that is well within my means."
Merlin was surprised to realise that Arthur was rich in his own right. He'd just assumed that he received a good wage and maybe an allowance from his father. Strange Gawaine had never mentioned it.
"More seriously, I had a visit from social services and the police enquiring about your injury. Have they contacted you yet? They inferred that you would be able to press charges for assault as his actions were deliberate and witnessed."
"No, no one has spoken to me and I don't think I want to lay charges. He was just very upset with me and lost his temper."
He heard Arthur say, "He's done that before!" He glanced at him but he seemed miles away, he looked suddenly very young and sad. Merlin waited then putting his hand on Arthur's knee, slipped his hand toward Arthur's and was relieved when it closed around his.
Arthur started speaking again and said, "He made my life a misery when I was growing up. I used to spend a fair amount of my holidays with Gawaine's family or at a place in Devon. I couldn't take the continual criticising. I don't think he realised that I wasn't physically strong and being pushed into a wall or onto a railing really hurt. He broke my leg when I was fourteen but it could have been worse as he'd pushed me down a flight of stairs." Arthur shrugged, "I guess if I had fallen the wrong way, I could have broken my neck… He was always very apologetic afterwards and would bring me expensive presents."
Merlin was shocked, he'd been brought up in a loving family and being sent to his room was the worst punishment he had ever received and he had to acknowledge that on some occasions, it was well deserved.
"The doctors would congratulate him on being so caring and worrying about the many scrapes and bruises I seemed to get. They received wonderful Christmas gifts and he was always the first to dig into his pocket or write a cheque if there was ever need for new equipment. I often used to wonder if he had treated my mother that way or if it was just because he was disappointed in the way I behaved.
"The car I received for my birthday was the result of a blow up we'd had a couple of months before when I had dared tell him that I had feelings for men not women. He'd erupted into a monster; he'd backhanded me across the face, grabbed my hair and shoved my head into the fireplace. Blood was everywhere…"
Merlin lifted Arthur's hand to his lips and kissed it gently remembering his mother's reaction to the same statement. She'd held him close and said that she loved him as he would always be her 'little boy'. She added that she was worried he would get hurt but that she knew that he would be careful and had given him her blessing to go off to London. He'd know she was upset as he'd heard her crying during the night and her eyes were red-rimmed in the morning. However, he believed that it was about his leaving and not his sexual choices. She'd said at the station, 'Remember, Merlin, you always have a home here,' and she had tried hard to smile as she added, '…and you can always bring a boyfriend with you.' That had been five years ago.
Arthur concluded, "A local doctor patched me up after being told that I had been drunk and had fallen into the mantelpiece. I was off work for a fortnight…after that I decided that if he ever laid his hands on me again I was going to kill him."
Merlin remembered that Gawaine had told him that Arthur was out of town on business for a few weeks and that their football team really missed him. He'd blamed Uther for being inconsiderate as he knew that they had important matches and needed Arthur. Merlin remembered sitting in the pub, shaking his head and laughing at Gawaine.
For the longest time, there was silence and then Arthur said, "…and the Lamborghini was the expensive gift to say that he was sorry!" He swallowed and continued with a pathetic laugh, "I guess I showed him what I thought of that present!" Merlin moved to stand behind Arthur and gave him a one armed hug, resting his chin on his head.
Arthur smiled as he said, "Guess I don't deserve a two armed hug after being so petty."
"If I could give you a two armed hug, you know I would but I'm out of commission for the time being." He planted a little kiss on the top of Arthur's head and returned to his seat beside him. There was a tap at the door and someone from the kitchen arrived with Arthur's supper followed by Graham with Arthur's medication and a second plate of food.
"So this is where the two of you are hiding away. Very nice! Not exactly a five-star hotel but one of the advantages is that you can have room service." Seeing Merlin querying look, he said, "Someone was discharged and the kitchen hadn't be notified so I thought the two of you might like to have supper together. Sadly, there is no sommelier service but we do offer imported bottled water!" He grinned at them as he left the room.
The meal wasn't bad and it was nice to be able to have supper together. They talked about non-consequential things just enjoying each other's company. Arthur would sometimes look at Merlin and his face would break into a smile.
Suddenly, he said seriously, "Merlin, I can get you a top rate lawyer if my father starts causing any trouble. I don't think he will as it would be bad publicity but he has a nasty streak and he might decide to get at me through you."
Merlin shrugged his shoulders, "What's the worse that he can do fire me? Gawaine doesn't think he will but I am toying with bailing before he does. I can hand in my notice and still be guaranteed a month's wages."
"Promise me, not to do that without talking to me."
"Arthur, I don't want you getting hurt because of me. I will not stop visiting but will do so surreptitiously. Maybe disguised as a cleaner," he laughed as Arthur pretended to dust his wheelchair.
"Even better you could be my masseur. That would please me no end."
"Sorry, I think the cleaner would work better as I might get carried away as the latter and cause you all sorts of embarrassment."
"Do you think I have a store of forgotten conversations which you had with me when I was in my coma? I remember some of the things you said and more and more of them are coming to the light. You said you loved me, didn't you?"
Merlin glanced down at their hands and nodded his head, "I did and I think I still do."
"Only think, Merlin?"
Merlin lifted his head and said just above a whisper, "No, I know that I love you and without seeming too pushy, I am hoping one day that you will say the same to me."
Arthur leant forward and brushed Merlin's lips with his fingers. "I've wanted to say this for so long. Merlin, may I kiss you?"
He had only just let his lips touch Merlin's when a voice said, "Hey, you two! Get a room!" and Gawaine walked in.