Chapter 9: You and I

Walking through the hallways had never felt so different for Santana.

In the past weeks, she would look around wearily to see if someone was talking about her behind her back. In the weeks before that started, she would walk the hallways with her chin up and with an air of authority surrounding her. But now, Santana walked through the hallways of McKinley in a way that anyone can see that this is a person who has been through hell and back.

The Latina did not walk with purposeful strides, did not spare a glance with anyone, and did not look back. She walked as if she was leading a defeated army but with as much as dignity as what was left. And in a way she was. She was leading herself back to where it all started to admit that this, her, is one of the things that she can't have. There was no pain. There was only regret. Regret that she wasn't able to do anything when Brittany was hers. Regret that she caused this to herself.

Quinn was solemn and sad. She walked by the heels of the brunette, allowing her to lead. She knew that Santana fought with everything she had and she admired her for that. As they entered the choir room, she watched Santana's face turn hard and fierce but at the same time soft and gentle.

"Do you want me to stay?" She quietly asked her. Santana gave her a small smile.

"I think this bitch can handle it. Thanks, Q." Quinn reached out to squeeze her shoulder before walking to sit down. The glee club was about to witness something simply heartbreaking and she was ready to defend Santana if someone will judge her for that. Judging from the way Puck and Lauren sat next to her in the front row, she knew that they too would rather be damned than to leave their friend alone, undefended.

Standing in front of the club, about to surrender her heart, Santana looked around her glee clubbers. She'd never felt so grateful for Quinn, Puck, and Lauren for sitting in the front row.

You're not alone.

Kurt was giving her a sad smile.

I'll redo your make up for you. You're perfect.

Sam was nodding encouragingly at her.

You can do it.

Mercedes was smirking at her.

Remind me why you're Satan Lopez.

Santana skips Artie's face. She can't handle the smug smile or the lovey-dovey looks she might see there. She also skips Rachel's face because she knows that she'll get the urge to smack her in the face for no apparent reason.

Mike and Tina were staring at each other, wrapped up in their perfect bubble.

They're boring. But at least they have each other.

Finn was being Finn.

I don't really know what's going on but whatever's going to happen, I got your back.

Brittany. Santana gives her a teary smile.

Crap, don't start yet. She curses at the tears behind her eyes.

"Mr. Schue, I'd like to say something." She starts. The teacher nods at her, confused.

"I'm a lesbian." She deadpanned, effectively catching their attention. Quinn, Puck, and Lauren tensed, ready for any sort of negative reaction. Thankfully, most of them were too dumbfounded to react. So, the Latina continued. She turned to the one person she's ever loved and the one person who's ever had the capacity to ruin her life with just one word. Brittany was staring at her, incredulous.

"Brittany. I love you so fucking much that it actually, physically hurts to do this." She takes a deep breath. "I'm going to stop fighting for you now. But it doesn't mean that I'll love you any less. I'll probably stay away from you for quite some time so I can heal enough to be the bestfriend I once was."

"Santana…" She raised a hand as Brittany tried to stand up from her sit. Santana's heart was crying. It made her wonder how more pain can her heart handle before it stops beating.

"No. Let me finish." She took a step forward, looking at every single face in the room. She saw encouraging smiles, sad smiles, shocked looks. But Brittany's face was different. Hers was the only face that mattered, the only face she'll ever die for. There was a mixture of shock, guilt, pain, and something she wasn't sure if it was really there or if it was just her.

"I've finally accepted the fact that though I still hate Adams, you and he are perfect for each other. He needs you to clean him up when he's slushied. He needs you to roll him to class when his hands ache. He needs you to reach for something when he can't reach for it. He needs you to dance for him because he can't." Tears are flowing now, and she doesn't make an effort to stop them. She turned to Artie, setting her trademark glare on her face even though all she wanted to do now is to breakdown and cry.

"You. You lucky bastard. You take care of her, you hear me? She needs you to keep her company when her cats are too busy with each other to care for what she has to say. She needs you to take her to Santa three days before Christmas. She needs you to defend her when someone's actually stupid enough to bully her." She turns to Brittany, who's suddenly standing up from her seat, tears streaming down her face.

"But Santana, we belong to each other, remember?" Her breath hitched at the back of her throat and Santana felt like crumpling to the floor.

"I remember, B. But you see, I don't need you as much as he does." She walks toward her and places a hand on her pale cheeks. She let her thumb brush the tears away.

"He needs you to do all those things for him, Britt. Unlike him, I'm not stuck in a wheelchair for the rest of my life. No offense." She then looks straight into the pool of blue eyes she'd come to love.

"I just… I just need you because I love you." The words from her heart flow out of her mouth before she can stop them. "I need you because I can't be without you. I need you because you are my life. I need you too, Britt. But maybe not as much as he does." Santana gave Brittany a painful smile and before the blonde knew it, Santana was walking away from her and was out of the door before she could even yell wait.

Brittany was left standing feeling like she just got lost in the middle of nowhere.

"Santana…"

Artie rolled in front of her.

"You do know what you have to do, right?" The blonde looked at him like she didn't know him and then suddenly, realization flashed through her eyes. Everyone looked at Artie, stunned. He ignored them but he knew that he'd have to explain what exactly he was doing.

"Thank you." Brittany murmured. Artie smiled reassuringly at her.

Santana had never been more grateful for the number of people currently occupying the hallways. That way, nobody paid much attention to her or to the tears for that matter. She wanted to go back to the choir room and tie Brittany to her, that way she will never be able to leave. She wanted to go back and kneel in front of her and beg her to take her, to stop her from doing what she was doing. She wanted to go back and tell her that she needed her more than she'll ever know - that she needs her more than she needs air. But she couldn't do that. She'd risk losing her because of her selfishness if she did that. Santana knew that she couldn't live without her. She'd rather live everyday being just the bestfriend than to wake up everyday knowing that she was out of her life because of she couldn't get a grip on her shit and see what was more important. She leaned against her locker and laughed bitterly at it all. She laughed until she was reduced to a sobbing mess. Her mind was so glazed over that she failed to hear her blonde calling her name.

"Santana?" Santana spun around in shock, groaning because of the sudden dizziness that hit her. Strong arms wrapped around her waist and suddenly, she was inhaling Brittany. And it hurts so much that she pushes her away. Just as she opened her mouth, Brittany bit her to it.

"Kiss me." She said firmly. Santana was so shocked by the turn of events that her mind went on overdrive.

"You have a boyfriend." Brittany shook her head, smiling at her.

"No, I don't. We broke up this morning." Santana took a step back from her, finding it all too hard to process.

"You were kissing him this morning." She snapped, not willing to believe the hope that was suddenly blossoming in her chest. Brittany took a step toward her and reached out to brush Santana's hair out of her face.

"That was our last kiss as a couple." Brittany cupped her cheeks. "You're wrong, you know. I need you more than I need him, Santana. He doesn't know what I eat for breakfast. He doesn't know how to calm me down when I'm having bad dreams. He doesn't know how to make me stop crying, like you do. There are a lot of things he doesn't know about me. But he does know that you need me like I need you. San? I love you too. But I need you to be brave. I want everybody to know that you're mine and I'm yours and that no one could ever come between us. Not even the big bullies. That's why," she let go of the Latina's wet cheeks. "Kiss me. Right here, right now, in the mid-…"

Brittany never got to finish that sentence. Santana rushed forward, pressing her lips roughly against the blonde's and pushing her to the locker. If the kiss wasn't enough to get everyone's attention, she was sure that the loud bang from the lockers did.

Everything falls back into place. The way Santana's mouth claims every part of her mouth, the way Brittany loops her arms around her neck trying to pull her closer, the way Santana was pressed into her, but most of all, the way their lips were moving in perfect sync as if their mouths were made to satisfy one another. No one came to slushy them. No one came to interfere.

"I love you." Santana said as she gasped for breath. "I love you." She repeats, reveling at the fact that nothing can stop her from saying it – that nothing can stop her from loving Brittany.

"I love you too. I'm yours." Brittany whispers against her neck sending shivers down her spine.

"As I am yours."

A/N: Okay, it's finally done! :)) THANK YOU TO THE PEOPLE WHO PUT THIS STORY ON THEIR FAVORITES AND TO THOSE WHO PUT IT ON ALERT. To those who reviewed, wait for it, imma reply to your reviews. Tell me what you think?

I still ship Brittana no matter what they say or what she says,

theangel1710