Title: Chains of Rapture
Pairing: VincentxCloud, RenoxCloud, SephirothxCloud
Rating: R
Warnings: AU, OOC, angst, yaoi, non-con, self-mutilation, rape, abuse (physical/mental/emotional), language, violence
Summary: It's been three years since he saw those eyes and tasted those lips. Would life be kind enough to grant him this last chance?
Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy VII, nor do I own any of the music mentioned within this story. I do, however, own any and all OC's, so if you wish to use them then please ask for permission first before hand. Thank you and enjoy!

Chapter 10

"I thought you stopped seeing him," the raven-haired man asked, his voice holding a slight tone of confusion. Vincent had been quiet, contemplating Cloud's last statement as it echoed along the walls of his mind. "Do you really have to ask?"

"I did—but...I don't know what happened. After Zack..." Cloud closed his Mako blue eyes, fighting back the tears once more. Taking a shaky breath, he continued in a softer tone, "After Zack died, I only had Reno and Rude...and so I took the pain into my own hands," he lied by omission, not wanting to divulge that kind of information.

Licking his dry lips, he shot a glance at the ex-Turk, his eyes betraying the pain that raged inside. "I became what I hate the most, and for that I know this is the only thing left," he shuddered again, before rising to his feet and hugging the large blanket tighter around his shoulders.

"I was already hurting, I was alone. You have to understand...it's what I deserve," he said with false conviction in his voice, looking out of the window that sat across the room. His heart was heavier than lead, his eyes still grasping onto their dead glaze. "You don't deserve it, Cloud."

Looking towards Vincent, he rose a slender eyebrow. "Obviously I do if you left me the way you did." His words stung, taking note of the barely visible flinch he threw. Quickly, the ex-Turk rose to his feet, taking the extra step to press himself close to Cloud.

Their faces merely an inch or two apart, crimson eyes boring into cerulean. He could see the fire burning in those lovely ruby orbs, "I didn't write that letter." The tone used was scathing, trying to bury the underlying hurt that existed from that statement.

Confusion spread across Cloud's face. "If you didn't write it, then how do you know about it?" Time seemed to stop once again, both men staring each other down in pure silence. "I went through that box."

Minutes went by, Cloud's mind filled with so many questions as he slowly bowed his head in defeat. Seeing the seriousness in those eyes, how truthful that tone had been, how could he doubt him? "So—you never?"

Looking up towards the older man with his fearful eyes, he saw the shake of his head. Emotion swelled through his chest and surged through his veins, his body began to tremble. This has to be a trick! There's no other explanation. But—his eyes. The tears welled up again as he felt his knees grow weak once more. Closing his eyes, he slumped down to the floor, a shiver running down his spine.

Vincent's arms immediately wrapped around him, holding him close as they both sat on the floor. Whispered words of comfort fell on deaf ears as Cloud just stared at the floor, his body shaking with soundless sobs, but the tears wouldn't come.

oOo

Morning came too quickly for comfort. Blue eyes slowly opened to stare at the white ceiling that hung above them. Cloud's head ached, his body thrumming with the remnants of pain from last nights' session. And to think, you'll go back to him the next time he calls.

Slowly lifting himself to a sitting position, he ran a gentle hand through his blond hair that seemed to have gotten out of hand during his slumber. Peering around him, he saw that he was seated on the floor of his living room, the clouded sunlight peering through the window cautiously.

After a few moments, the scent of food reached his nostrils and he let loose a low growl of approval. Looking towards the kitchen over the back of the couch, he saw Vincent's back to him, steam rising from the oven.

Rising to his feet, he walked into the kitchen, arms wrapped around his throbbing stomach loosely. The events of the previous night replayed themselves over and over in his mind; the touches and the tears writhing beneath his subconscious.

Stopping at the island counter-tops, his blue eyes gazed at the ex-Turk in front of him. Confusion ran across his face before setting itself in stone. What can I do now?

Run, that voice piped up with loathing dripping from it's tone, it's all you know how to do, isn't it? Or maybe you can bleed some more, that might make things right.

Closing his blue eyes, he turned his head to the side, lost in complete thought. If he ran, he would be discovered eventually. But if he stayed, the pain would be overwhelming. Yet, bleeding...

Opening his eyes, he stared at the counter-top next to him, his now healed arms wrapping themselves around his stomach. No, he thought with self-conviction, I can't do that again. His Mako blue eyes drew themselves to his covered wrists, the slight pink scars showing themselves against his pallid flesh.

"Cloud?" His gaze rose up to meet crimson. The sound of Vincent's voice brought him out of his reverie, blinking a few times to clear the threatening tears. "Are you hungry?" The blond could see the concern and confusion in that face, the one that haunted him for so long. Slight lines were drawn over his brow, furrowing slightly in emotion.

With a shake of his head, he turned and walked into his room, closing the door behind him. A heavy sigh, and he began to dress in a pair of black cargo pants and a white shirt that was slightly too large for his frame but seemed to fit all the same. When he re-emerged from his bedroom, he saw the ex-Turk standing in the doorway to the kitchen, spatula held in one of his hands that was crossed over his chest in a relaxed way.

"Everything alright?"

If only...

"Yeah."

Cloud sat down on the couch, slipping on a pair of thick socks before his boots. In the process of tying them up, he heard soft footsteps walking towards him. With a shifted gaze, he saw Zack's pants standing to his side. Silence spread through-out the room thickly, leaving a nasty taste in the blond's mouth.

"I'll be gone for a few hours." Was all he said.

"Be careful."

As Cloud headed down the street on his bike, earphones in his ears blasting music to drown out the emotions welling up inside of him, he let out a silent sob before gripping the handle bars tightly to control himself.

An hour passed before he made it to a clearing outside of Midgar. Seeing nothing but woods and foliage of all sorts for miles, he parked his bike on the side of the dirt road he turned on about thirty minutes into the drive. Just give me some time, he thought pleadingly as he slid off the vehicle and made his way through the outdoors.

Sitting himself underneath a tree, he curled his knees under his chin, his music becoming background noise. His lips mouthed the words in time, blue eyes unfocused to his surroundings. Tears slid down his cheeks silently, chilling his flesh with their touch.

His thoughts drifted to and from current events. Vincent: the man he promised himself he wouldn't ever love, the one who cast him aside, the one who swears on everything he stands for he didn't, the one who showed him how to live again...

How could he manage this situation? For a year and a half, all he ever wanted was to be given the chance to love him again, to be held in those arms and have whispered confessions in his ear.

You will never be strong enough, you will never be good enough...

Sephiroth: the man who first took his heart, the one who hurt him severely, the one who was dangerous...

You were never conceived in love, you will never rise above...

So many questions that were left unanswered. The tears kept falling, turning into wracking sobs. "Why can't I just be happy for once?" he whispered to the outside world, his shining blue eyes staring at everything and nothing. Dusk began to creep up on him, and the sudden silence that his music player gave brought him back to reality.

Looking up to the pastel sky, the chill in the air began to set in and he shivered slightly. Rising to his feet, he came to a decision. With a heavy sigh, he made his way back to his bike, and back into the city.

There we go! Another chapter all ready for reading. Wonder who our little blond is going to run into next? :snicker: We'll find out, now won't we?