Smashing Parodies

The Smash Bros. Movie Part 3

Shulk and Marth were about to enter a saloon in disguises.

"All you have to do is blend in and act like you belong here."

"Oh, perfect." Shulk entered the saloon and started jumping around while talking in a really bad cowboy accent. "Well, I'll be! I'm a cowboy! Bang-bang, bang-bang-bang! Shoot, shoot, shoot! Bullet, bullet, gun! Zap, zap, zap! Pow, zap, pow!" The whole saloon went quiet and turned to him, and Marth quickly pulled him out. "What are they looking at?"

"I-I-I made a mistake. You should just be still, act like a stool."

Shulk burst back into the saloon bent over like a stool. "Howdy, guys!"

"No, stools don't talk."

"Come sit on me!"

"Stools don't talk." Marth pulled Shulk outside again. "Okay, ssh. Let me show you how it's done." She entered the saloon holding a fan up to her face, and she spit into a corner, and everyone went about their business. "Okay, let's find the tactician and get this over with." Marth noticed a white haired man playing a piano. "There he is." She went over to him. "Robin."

"Who? I have never heard of that man, whom I am not. Who are you?"

"It's me."

"I am a blind man, I cannot see."

"It's Marth."

"Are you a fashion model?"

"What? Why is everybody...?"

"Oh! Wait, wait. Are you the student I used to have who was so insecure she kept changing her name?"

"No! No, no."

"Yes, first Dark Storm..."

"Ssh. No."

"Then Gemini, then there was Neversmile..."

"Whatever."

"Then Freak Face..."

"Ssh-sh. Okay. Okay."

"Then Snazzypants..."

"Alright! Yes!"

Robin stopped playing the piano and turned to Marth. "Meet me upstairs in ten seconds." He then started to walk off when suddenly he banged into the wall and fell to the floor.

10 seconds later, the three of them met upstairs and entered a room full of strange stuff.

"Oh, man. You have a very weirdly decorated place." Shulk commented.

"Robin, we have found the Monado."

"Is it true?"

"Yes, but..."

"Marth, the prophecy states that you are the Special. The embodiment of good, foiler of evil, the most talented, most brilliant, most important person in the universe."

"That would be great, but...Shulk is the one who found the Monado."

"Oh, okay." Robin turned to Shulk. "Shulk! The prophecy states that you are the Special. The most talented..."

"I'm not sure he's the Special, actually, because he's not even a Master Brawler. Watch. Shulk, just given what's around you, build something simple."

"Okay."

"Like an awesome race car."

"Great."

"Go."

"Do you have the instructions?"

"No. You must create the instructions in your mind, my liege." Robin told him.

"Ha. Okay. Race car." Shulk looked around the room. "Um...well, there's a lot of really cool stuff here. I don't see a wheel or...three more wheels."

"See! He can't do it. He will never be a Master Brawler."

"Of course not, not if you keep telling him he can't. He needs to see that he can." Robin went over to Shulk and put his hands on the sides of his head.

"What are you doing?"

"We are entering you mind..."

"What?!"

"To prove that you have to unlock the potential to be a Master Brawler."

Robin and Marth bowed and started moving around Shulk until they were in a vast empty space.

"Whoa! Are we inside my brain right now? It's big. I must be smart."

"Mm-hmm." Marth nodded.

"I am not hearing a lot of activity here." Robin pointed out.

"I don't think he's ever had an original thought in his life."

Shulk laughed. "That's not true. For instance, one time I wanted to have a bunch of my friends over to watch TV. Not unlike this TV that just showed up magically. And not everybody could fit on my one couch. So then I thought what if there was a couch that could double as a bunk bed? Introducing, the double decker couch. So everyone can watch TV together and be buddies!"

"That is literally the dumbest thing I've ever heard."

"Please, Marth. Let me handle this. That idea is just the worst. There must be something around here that proves his potential. If Master Hand chose him to the Special, there must be a reason."

"Who's Master Hand?" Shulk asked.

"See? He doesn't even know about Master Hand."

"Does he have super gross hands that look like they're made out of big white sausages, like eagle talons mixed with squid?"

"Wait. You've seen...?" Marth began.

Shulk noticed that he was now standing on a large white hand. "Wow! That's what I was just thinking about!"

"How did you...?"

"I had this weird dream when I touched the Monado. Well, I...I mean I wasn't asleep, so it wasn't really dream..."

"Shulk, you had a vision." Robin concluded.

"I did?"

"Master Brawlers spend years training themselves to clear their minds enough to have even a fleeting glimpse of Master Hand. And yet, your mind is already so prodigiously empty that there is nothing in it to clear away in the first place. With proper training you could become a great Master Brawler."

"I could?"

"The prophecy chose you, Shulk."

"But I can't do any of the stuff that the prophecy says I'm supposed to do."

"All you have to do is to believe, then you will see everything. Are you ready, my son?"

"Yes, I am. I think."

"Then we haven't a moment to lose. We must assemble the Master Brawlers."

Back in the saloon one cowboy pointed his gun at another when Wolf came in on a horse. "Have any of you fellas seen this guy?" He held up a hand drawn picture of Shulk, and town Sheriff spoke up.

"Wait a minute, partner. Draw a cowboy hat on him."

Wolf drew a cowboy hat on the picture of Shulk and show it to the Sheriff.

"These mechanical birds will get our message out. They will go to an internet cafe and email the remaining Master Brawlers who will meet us in the secret realm of Cloud Cuckoo Land." Robin said as he threw the birds out the window.

"Cuckoo Land? Wait, what happened to that whole training part?"

"Don't worry, Shulk. You're training begins now."

Suddenly, there was a knock on the door. "Piano Man, open up!" The sheriff's voice spoke from the other side.

"Your training begins later." The three of them began to make their escape as the Sheriff's men threw a dynamite at the door.

"On three. One..." The deputy pressed the fuse and the door blew open, and they entered the room as Robin, Shulk and Marth escaped through a hatch on the roof.

"I think we're in the clear." Marth whispered.

"Freeze, turkeys!" The three of them looked down to see Wolf and an army of Primids standing right outside the saloon. "All I want is the Monado."

"We would rather he died than give it to you!"

"I...would not rather he died." Shulk muttered.

"Look everybody we can do this the easy way or we can do it..."

"Go, run!" Marth shouted, and the three of them began to run.

"They took the hard way. Fire! Fire!" The Primids started firing at the three as they continued to run and jump across the rooftops.

"Robin! Which way to Cloud Cuckoo Land?" Marth asked.

"Head for the big bright thing in the sky."

"Do you mean the sun?" Shulk asked.

"Yes, yes. That's it."

"Let's get out of here. Here use this." Marth began to quickly build a vehicle.

"What? Wait, what are you doing?" Shulk asked.

"Let's go!" They began to fly off in the vehicle as the Primids continued to shoot at them.

"Goodbye." Wolf aimed and shot his gun at the vehicle. "Boom!" The vehicle exploded and the three of them landed in a water tank and as they fell to the ground Shulk and Robin ended up in a pig pen.

"Ah! I got pigs! I hate pigs!" Shulk screamed.

"Guys, quit playing around in the mud, I could use your help." The two of them followed Marth with the pigs chasing after them.

"Marth, we could really use your help!" As they nearly ran into a robot Marth managed to build another vehicle and used the pigs to help get them away.

"Robin, they're gaining on us! Do something!"

"Let Shulk try!"

"No, let's not let Shulk try! I haven't had any training!"

"That is okay, we will start with how to become a Master Brawler. Step one: trust your instincts."

"Okay. Okay. Um..."

"Do something! Do something!" Marth begged.

"Ah-ha! Take that!" Shulk threw a bunch of rocks from behind him which is immediately gets run over by the army of Primids chasing after them.

"Unless your instincts are terrible." Robin muttered. Just then, the sheriff started shooting at them and a wheel came off their vehicle and they started heading towards a cliff. "No, the wheel!" The vehicle began to go out of control as they headed towards the edge of the cliff.

"I can't control it any longer!"

"Shulk, we need to attach the wheel to something that spins around."

"Um..." Robin's words echoed in Shulk's head until an idea came to his mind. He attached the wheel to his body and made his way down to the side.

"Shulk, where are you going?" Shulk positioned himself to where the wheel would go and help steer the vehicle. "Oh, this better work!" Just as they reached the edge of the cliff Marth managed to turn and avoid going down, but the Primids went over the edge and explodeed as they hit the ground.

"Well done, Shulk!" Robin congratulated.

"Hey, I did it!"

"Wow, you actually did it." Suddenly there was the sound of a train coming. "Train!" The vehicle crashed into the train cars, launching the three into the air and they landed on top of the freight cars of the train. "Oh, no!"

"Get off my train!"

"Run!" The three of them started running across the train and towards the engine as Wolf chased after them, and he aimed at them and Shulk quickly jumped in front of Marth.

"Marth!" Shulk shouted as he got hit.

"He's gonna ram us. Quick, quick, quick! Give me that piece! Build a ramp!" Marth ordered. As Wolf headed towards them with his car he crashed into the ramp and fell off the train but managed to avoid crashing to the ground as his vehicle transformed into a flying vehicle and he flew back up. "What the heck?!"

"Rest in pieces." Wolf shot at the bridge and made it explode.

"Oh, no." The train derailed and started to fall down as the engine, coal tender, and several freight cars began to plummet into the river below.

"What are we gonna do?" Shulk asked. As they plummeted toward a chasm with crocodiles below everything started to go in slow motion as Marth looked at Shulk.

"Hey, thanks for saving my life back there. Even if, you know, eventually it turned out to be pointless."

"Well, for what it's worth, this has been about the greatest fifteen minutes of my life." Shulk and Marth were about to hold hands when something suddenly swooped down and saved them.

"What the...?" Wolf asked as the ship flew away.

"Relax, everybody, I'm here." A masked figure said.

"Meta Knight!" Shulk exclaimed.

"What's up, babe?" Meta Knight asked Marth.

"What?"

"Oh, sorry. Meta Knight, this is Shulk. Shulk, this is my boyfriend. Meta Knight."

"I'm Meta Knight."

"That's your boyfriend?" Meta Knight swerved his ship to avoid getting hit by Wolf as he continued to chase after them. "Meta Knight, huh? Where did you guys meet?"

"It's actually a funny story. Right, Meta...?" Marth looked to see that Meta Knight had disappeared.

"There he is!"

"'Police' to meet you, Wolf."

Wolf looked up to see that Meta Knight was on his vehicle. "Meta Knight! The pleasure is all 'spine'!" The two of them then started to fight on top of the vehicle.

"Guess what, you big dumb baby? You're car is a baby carriage." Meta Knight transformed Wolf's vehicle into a baby carriage and they started to plummet to the ground.

"Oh, no. Your boyfriend's gone."

"Hey, babe."

They turned to see Meta Knight back in the driver's seat. "What?!"

"Let's hold hands." Shulk watched as the two of them held hands.

"So, uh... Hey, guys? I think we're about to crash into the sun."

"Yeah, but it's gonna look really cool." They then crashed into the sun, leaving behind a bat symbol.