Chapter 9: That's Sick!
Starring: Edward, Lammy, and Giggles.
Featuring: Lumpy, and Truffles.
Well, well! The Generic Tree Ninjas never give up, do they?
Splendid: So what? My evil counterpart Splendont (Simular appearances to Splendid, except is red and wears a blue mask.) never gives up.
Yeah, but Ed's not fighting Splendont, he's fighting Generic Tree Ninjas, about 4 in total, while Lumpy, as usual, watches him. But this time, Lumpy got a cold.
Splendid: Then why is he out of bed?
Because he's a moron, ya moron!
Splendid: Don't call me a moron, you son of a bitch!
Shut up before I get the kryptonut again! Anyway, Ed's already in a middle in a fight with these ninjas, let's see if he's he's winning.
[Ed high kicks GTN #1 in the face, GTN #1 blocks and jabs Ed in the chest, Ed counterattacks by jabbing him in the face. GTN #1 knocked out. GTN #2 and #3 charges at Ed, GTN #3 jabs Ed in the head, Ed blocks and GTN #2 low kicks Ed in the torso, Ed blocks and uppercuts GTN #2. GTN #2 knocked out. GTN #3 jabs/cross combo Ed in the face 3 times, Ed blocks every punch and roundhouse kicks GTN #3, then jab/cross combo GTN #3 in the torso 3 times, trip kicks GTN #3. GTN #3 is knocked out.]
Ed: (To GTN #4) You guys can't touch me. What's the point of fighting me, anyway? You guys are gonna get beaten by me anyway.
GTN #4: (Angrily) Shut up, pathetic human!
Ed: Look who's talking, you can't even beat me!
[GTN #4 yells in anger and charges at Ed, GTN #4 run jabs at Ed, Ed blocks and jab/crosses combo at GTN #4 in the face 8 times, grabs GTN #4 and throws him at the other side of Ed. GTN #4 knocked out. Lumpy walks up to Ed while he claps.]
Lumpy: Yay! Woo-hoo (Coughs).
Ed: Lumpy, are you okay?
Lumpy: Yep, I'm okay Ed. (Sniffs)
Ed: (Wondering) Um... Okay! As long as you're okay.
Lumpy: Thanks, E- (Abouts to sneeze.) E-, Ah-choo!
[Lumpy sneezes on Ed.]
Ed: Gasutite, buddy.
[Lumpy has mucus coming out of his nose, sniffs it back up and wipes his nose with the back of his hand and forearm.]
Lumpy: That's better. (Sniffs) Thank you.
Ed: (Slowly) Rrrrriiiiight. Well, see you later, I have to go to school.
[Ed leaves.]
Lumpy: Okey-dokey, see you later, alligator. (Sniffs then sneezes.)
(At Happy Tree Elementary)
[Truffles explains about colds and flus while the class (Except Sniffles) gets bored and sleeps, Ed looks at the clock which is 9:43 AM.]
Ed: (In his head) Oh, come on. End already! I can't take school anymore! If only their were a way to get out for a day? Man I feel strange, why is my nose is full?
[Ed sneezes, mucus comes out of his nose.]
Truffles: Edward! Are you sick?
Ed: What if I am? (Sniffs)
Truffles: Oh my god, you are sick. Go to the nurse's office.
Ed: You mean, I can leave class?
Truffles: That's right, I don't want anyone else sick
(In the hallways.)
[Ed dances happily to the nurse's office.]
Ed: (Happily) Yes! No class! Yaaaay! Maybe no school, either! That's even better!
[Ed went in the door of the nurse's office, sits in the waiting room.]
Ed: This is the best day of my life! (Sniffs)
[Giggles comes in as the nurse's aid.]
Ed: Giggles? Are you sick too?
Giggles: No, I'm just doing this so I can be a nurse in the future, and to get out of class.
Ed: Cool! (Sniffs) Um... Where is the nurse?
Giggles: She's on her break, so I have to call her that you have arrived.
Ed: Okay! (Sniffs)
[Giggles wents back in and gets on the phone with the nurse.]
Giggles: Hello Ms... Yeah I know you're on your lunch break, but a student just came in and has a running nose, what should I do? (Pause) Uh-huh... Okay... Alright, I'll tell him, bye.
[Giggles hangs up and goes back to the waiting room.]
Giggles: You get to go home, Ed.
Ed: (Loudly) YAAAAAAAY! NO SCHO- (Coughs)
Giggles: But you'll have to wait until the nurse comes back to drive you home.
Ed: Awwwww! Can't I just walk back home? (Sniffs)
Giggles: I wish we can can all do that when we get sick, but we could all get other people sick.
(Later, At Ed's house.)
[Ed's on the couch playing Grand Theft Flippy.]
Ed: (Sniffs) Ahhh, no school. (Blows nose with a tissue.)
[Someone knocks on the door.]
Ed: Coming (Sniffs)
[Ed answers the door, it's Giggles.]
Giggles: Hey, Ed. How you feeling?
Ed: Oh. Hi Giggles! (Sniffs) I'm feeling a little better. (Sniffs)
Giggles: Well you shouldn't be out of bed, mister! (Grabs Ed's arm and pulls him.) Come on, we're going to your room.
Ed: Huh? (Sniffs)
(At Ed's room.)
[Ed is in bed without his helmet and has a thermometer in his mouth while Giggles tucks Ed in.]
Giggles: Now I don't want you to get out of bed until you're well.
[Ed sniffs as Giggles hugs Ed.]
Ed: (In his head.) What the hell is this? Just get me back to playing video games! I just hope my good day don't turned bad.
Giggles: Someone very special to you I coming up to your room to bring you something you need.
Ed: (In his head) Well, whoever he is, I hope he has a GameTree 64. (A parody of Nintendo DS.)
[Lammy walks in with a cup of soup.]
Ed: (In his head.) Now my day just turned bad.
[Lammy walks up to Ed.]
Lammy: Hey, Edward! I heard you're sick, so me and Mr. Pickles will stay in your room until you get better.
[Lammy gives Ed the soup while she holds Ed's hand, Ed pulls his hand to let go, Lammy holds Ed's hand again.]
Lammy: Whoops, (Laughter) you let go of my hand.
Ed: (To Lammy) Can you bring me something like you go get a real boyfriend, (Sniffs) because I'm not your boyfriend?
Lammy: Ah ha ha ha, Baa-a-a-ah, Baa-a-a-ah! Quit joking, silly. You are a funny boy! I'd kiss you again, but I don't want to get sick.
Ed: (Silently) And a good thing, too. (Sniffs)
Lammy: I'll go back to the kitchen to make you a cheese omelet.
Ed: (Open his eyes widely) Actually, (Sniffs) that does sound good.
Lammy: (As she leaves) Then you'll love it when I put my wool hair in there.
[Ed vomits into his mouth, holds his mouth to avoid his puke on the bed.]
Ed: (While he has vomit in his mouth.) Um, Giggles can you give me a trash can?
[Giggles gives him a trash bin right by his desk with a computer on top, Ed spits out the vomit in the trash bin.]
Giggles: Aww, does our hero have a tummy-ache?
Ed: Yep, (Sniffs) I have a tummy-ache, I can eat the omelet. I guess you'll have to eat it. (Sniffs)
Giggles: I'm not eating her hair, (About to leave.) I'll just tell her (Lammy) to put it in your kitchen fridge.
[Giggles leaves the room, walks into the kitchen were Lammy's at, Lammy's cooking an omelet on Ed's stove, yanks 5 strings of hair and puts it in the omelet, Giggles walks up to Lammy.]
Giggles: Lammy, that's disgusting.
Lammy: Bu- but Edward says it's a good idea.
Giggles: I don't think he means by putting your hair in it.
Lammy: But if he eats my hair, he will always have me anytime even when I'm not around.
Giggles: Well, Ed's has a tummy-ache, he can't eat it.
[Lammy turns off the stove.]
Lammy: Oh, poor Eddy-Bear. Don't worry, (Walks up to the cabinets.) I'll find some carbonated pop to make him feel better.
[Giggles notices that Mr. Pickles is not with her.]
Giggles: Um, where's Mr. Pickles?
Lammy: (While finding some soda for Ed.) Oh, he's still in Edward's room.
Giggles: (Wondering) Why?
Lammy: So he can keep Edward company.
[Giggles facepalms.]
(At Ed's room.)
[Ed was about to get out of bed.]
Ed: Now that the girls are in the kitchen, (Sniffs) I have a chance to escape from the window. (Coughs) All I gotta do is to get up from bed and...
[Ed sees the pickle on the floor.]
Ed: Oh-ho ho ho, the evil pickle again. (Sniffs) I'd squash you with my foot, but I don't wanna make a mess on my floor. (Sniffs twice) But if Lammy sees you get squashed...
[Ed gets up out of bed to stomp on the pickle, as he raises his foot from the ground, Mr. Pickles transforms and raises his sharp-end cane, Ed tries to stomps on him, but he stepped on Mr. Pickles cane instead, Ed feels pain in the bottom of his foot, it felt like a big nail in his foot.]
Ed: (Eyes widely opened, hold bottom of foot afterwards.) OOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWW!
(Back at the kitchen)
[Giggles and Lammy just heard Ed.]
Lammy: Baah? Was that, Edward? He sounds hurt!
Giggles: Ridiculous, he's in bed! He's safe! Let's just go back to...
[Lammy goes to Ed's bathroom to find a first aid kit.]
Giggles: Where are you going?
[Lammy opens the sink counter.]
Lammy: I gotta save my Eddy-bear.
(Back at Ed's room.)
[Ed is still holding his foot from where Mr. Pickles' cane is in, takes the cane out, blood is leaking out from the bottom of Ed's foot, Ed stands up on his two feet, looks at Mr. Pickles.]
Ed: You again?
[Mr. Pickles bows like a gentleman, Ed sniffs three times slowly and then coughs.]
Ed: (To Mr. Pickles) Look, you rotten thing! I got enough problems without you in it! But if you wanna warriors death, I'm more than happy to give it to...
[Mr. Pickles grabs his cane and stabs Ed in the bone part of his lower leg.]
Ed: Oww, oww-woww!
[Ed holds his leg from where Mr. Pickles stab it, blood comes out from Ed's leg, Mr. Pickles gets on top of Ed's torso and tries to stab Ed in the heart, Ed jabs Mr. Pickles in the right side, Mr. Pickles rams right in to the wall next to the window.]
Ed: Aww man. I missed. (Gets back up.) Oh well, I'll just open the window and then...
[Mr. Pickles charges at Ed out of nowhere, knocks down Ed, Ed falls down and struggles to get back up.]
Ed: (Keeps Struggling) Get off of me... (Struggles) You, crazy monster!
[Mr. Pickles ignores Ed by stabbing Ed in the arm, blood leaks out from Ed's arm.]
Ed: Oww! (Hold arm.) You bastard! I'll kill you!
[Ed grabs Mr. Pickles, Mr. Pickles stabs Ed's hand using his cane, Ed lets go of Mr. Pickles.]
Ed: (Holds hand) Oww!
[Ed checks his hand, his hand is bleeding a little bit, Ed picks up Mr. Pickles and tries to throws him.]
Ed: Let's see if I can't miss the window.
[Mr. Pickles stabs Ed's paw of his hand, Ed lets go of Mr. Pickles.]
Ed: (Painfully) Ahh!
[Ed's hand didn't bleed, but it still hurts, Mr. Pickles pushes Ed down on the ground, gets on Ed's torso.]
Ed: (To Mr. Pickles) I freaking hate you!
[Mr. Pickles walks up to Ed's arm to stab it, as he stabs, a bit of blood comes out.]
Ed: (Painfully) Ahh! Oww! Oww!
[Lammy walks in with a first aid kit.]
Lammy: Don't worry, Eddy-bear. I'm going to help you...
[Lammy looks at Mr. Pickles stabbing Ed.]
Lammy: (Gasp!) No! No! Bad pickle! (Picks up Mr. Pickles) Now you say you're sorry to your future dad.
Ed: (Gets back up) Thanks for getting that psychopathic... (Pauses) Say what?
Lammy: Mr. Pickles is going to be your son one day, Edward. Or maybe we might have 20 more kids together, you and me.
[Ed twitches his eye while Lammy patches Ed up with band-aids and ointment.]
Lammy: We will marry one day, then have kids, then grow old together to see our kids have their kids.
[Giggles comes in.]
Giggles: Lammy, why did you go through Ed's stu... Holy crap, Ed is hurt.
[Giggles walks up to Ed to rub his face with the back of her hand, Ed's eye is still twitching from what Lammy said.]
Giggles: (Silently) There, there. You're going to be okay.
[Giggles now realized that Ed is not sneezing or having a running nose.]
Giggles: Ed! You're not sick anymore!
[Ed gets back up.]
Ed: I'm not?
Giggles: Nope! You're cure!
[Ed and Giggles cheers while Lammy puts on lip stick.]
Lammy: Edward!
[Ed and Giggles stops cheering, Ed looks at Lammy.]
Ed: (In his head) Oh no!
Lammy: Before me and Giggles go...
[Lammy kisses Ed in the lips, Ed's pupils shatters.]
Lammy: So, what do you think?
[Ed's doesn't respond, stands there while his pupilless eye twitches]
Giggles: I guess he likes it.
Lammy: (To Ed) Okay, we better go. Bye, Eddy-bear! (Giggles)
[The girls leaves and then Ed vomits like Brian Griffin from his second kiss.]
Ed: (Heavy Breathes, Loudly) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I CAN'T BELIEVE SHE KISSED ME ON THE LIPS! IT'S DISGUSTING! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
And so, Ed becomes better but feels worse again because Lammy kissed Ed in the lips, and Ed did not like it one bit.
[Splendid laughs his ass off.]
Uh, why are you laughing?
Splendid: Um, nothing. It's just what Lammy said about her and Ed! [Laughs harder] She will marry him one day, then have kids, then they will grow old together and I will laugh at him.
That's not funny, Lammy stalks Ed. What happens if a girl stalks you?
Splendid: Meh.
How about Splendont?
[Splendont appears.]
Splendont: Hello, Splendid!
[Narrator and Splendid looks at Splendont with their eyes and mouth open.]
Splendont: See you around, readers! (Laughs evily)
Moral of the Story: Get plenty of sleep when your sick.
Next Chapter: Ed gets a restraining order from Lammy.