The Doctor stumbles in his rush, ending up in a heap at the base of the Console. "Ow!" Stuffing his hand in his mouth and clutching a knee, he groans softly for a second before the insistent beeping gets noticed again.
"Right! Great!" Jumping up and pressing a few buttons; he grins. Satisfied, he throws himself at the jump seat.
"The signal has reached Pete's World intact and is now building to a state that Rose's mind will accept as a dream. Brilliant, me! Knew it would work. Aren't we just fantastic, Old Girl?" He leans back and pats a strut affectionately. Noticing the Sphynx didn't join him, he's somewhat disappointed that she isn't witnessing his current brilliance. It's always more fun, when there's someone to show off for. Well, at least when everything is working, that is. The thought earns him a snort from the TARDIS.
#more to learn/waiting#
The TARDIS sends this with musical chimes of amusement and hums of affection.
With a huff and an eye roll, the Doctor levers himself off the jump seat and heads back to the Library. On his way there, he notices that the TARDIS has moved Rose's room directly across from it.
He has had a potentially not-so-great habit of laying on her bed for a couple of hours telling her what he's been doing every day. It made his hearts hurt less to imagine her hearing him, and somehow knowing that he was trying soooo hard to reach her. That he hasn't forgotten. I could never forget her. I made myself for her, he thinks, and for a moment lays his palm on the door whispering a quiet, "Soon." to the Rose-shaped hole in his hearts. Not thinking anything of the move, the Doctor turns and continues into the Library, the Sphynx, and more answers.
" 'allo Sphynx. I was being quite impressive out there, ya know. My whole plan of getting a signal to Rose is working perfectly, of course. Just need her to dream me up and meet me wherever the signals comes out. I have no doubt she'll be there very soon. My Rose is amazing!" He knew he sounded like a pompous git, but he didn't really care. This was the first really good news that he's had all year, and he's the one who made it happen!
The Sphynx blinks at him slowly, and he can feel her amusement-not condescending, but happy for his joy. That's nice. "So, plan. There is one? What needs to happen, and what do you expect to accomplish?" The Doctor asks this as he resumes his position in the chair.
The Sphynx starts outlining her Plan with the TARDIS supplying images and reassurances that it should/would/must all work out. The Sphynx is about a minute and a half into her explanation when the Doctor can sit no longer and starts to pace around the Library, alternately stuffing his hands in his pockets and burying his hands in his hair. Pockets...step-step-step...Hair...step-step-step-step...Pockets, and so on.
"NO!" he states emphatically. The Doctor stops in front of the fireplace in a pose that screams adamant refusal: legs apart, arms crossed, and a glare that some would say flickered more than a little Oncoming Storm around the edges.
"It's too dangerous for Rose. How can you guarantee the Void won't kill her, or space, or the transition? How could some of the Vortex Energy from the Heart of the TARDIS get left behind and bonded to Rose? I took it all out. New me because of it, and I was nearly raised on the stuff. Rose is Human, just Human. There's no way—" The Sphynx interrupts him as he begins to pace again.
"Doctor, how Human do you think Rose is now, or for that matter how Human she was when she was lost? My Child shows me you did not check, you were damaged and distracted. The piece of my Child stayed, bonding the Vortex to Rose because it had to. It is the only reason Rose lived." It is also currently keeping her alive, but she wasn't going to tell the Doctor that just yet; this is difficult enough.
"How long do you think Rose was filled with the Vortex; how long did it take her to reach you? Time is not linear. For you, she was only gone a few minutes, an hour? She spent what I would call a moment interacting with the Universe the same way I do. She spread the words Bad Wolf everywhere she needed them. She saw every possible outcome for herself, for you, for the TARDIS, and most importantly, she saw that the Universe needed to be whole again. She is part of the plan, because it is her Plan. For her, it was long enough to lay the foundation for where we are today, for what is about to happen, and for my and perhaps other's involvement. Sharing with my Child when you first arrived was also my time to learn from Rose/Bad Wolf-her Plan. Everything that has happened was to make these events occur. Your regeneration, your regard, her changing/growing/learning, Canary Wharf, and her time in the Parallel Universe. All of this was necessary. Consciously, she does not know this, but when she and the Vortex were one, she became so much more—she chose, and she chose this."
The Oncoming Storm and the fierceness of his stance dissolve. He can only stare at the Sphynx in barely disguised horror, once again agape. Swaying a little unsteadily the TARDIS moves the old well-used sofa behind him and he collapses onto it. Burying his face in his hands, he can't seem to help himself: he makes it all..his..fault.
"Oh, Rose", he groans. "I am so thick, thickity-thick-THICK! I never checked! How could I have done that to you? You never had a choice with the Vortex in you. Your supposed to be Human, safe and just Human, fleeting and happy. You're supposed to meet some nice Human bloke, settle down, and have your nice Human life; filled with fat Human babies...forgetting me. What have I done?!" The self-defeating tirade wound down with a sob.
The Sphynx can't quite comprehend what the Doctor is doing. She sympathises with his grief because he is obviously grieving, but what for? It doesn't really make sense. His Rose wanted them to be together. She loves this Time Lord, and it is painfully obvious that he feels the same.
/Is he being obtuse on purpose?/ she asks her Child, hoping for a little clarity. The TARDIS sighs.
#idiot/sees Rose as Child/needs protecting/not allowed/need love/if Human, can deny himself/Time Lord rules/idiot#
In her mind, the Sphynx sees the Doctor over and over again in events past and events to come, make decisions for Rose without her knowing, and even when she does, without her consent. His reasoning is always her safety, but he's unwilling to see how incredibly selfish he's being. Obtusely, he denies his love for her so strenuously based on now outdated rules of non-involvement and a sadness that she will whither and die. Rose spent her entire time with her new, new Doctor confused and unsure about how even she should feel about him.
/Ridiculous! The man's last and first thought was Rose, and yet he denied her. Idiot is apt,/ the Sphynx thinks uncharitably. The TARDIS agrees completely.
"Doctor...Doctor!" Needing to get his attention the Sphynx takes his chin in her hand and lifts his face to look up at her. "Should you not be pleased that you are not only the path, but also the goal in this journey? Rose is much more than you give her credit for, and you do her a dis-service to think so little of her needs and the decisions that she has made. This is not all about you. You have to trust our Rose, and know that these events are taking place for a reason. Once again you are being asked to save the Universe as you know it, but this time, your happiness is part of the plan. We cannot do any of this without you, Time Lord. Rose, the Child, and I require your assistance. Without you, we will fail, absolutely. It will take Time, but the Universe will correct itself, and even I do not know what will be left when that state is reached. You must believe." Taking a step back from him and resuming her seat, all she can do now is hope he will understand. The entire endeavour teeters on the edge at this moment, and the Universe pauses in anticipation.
Finally 'hearing' her, and feeling her complete determination to see this through, for he and Rose to be happy. And though he has a feeling she hasn't shared everything, he takes in a shuddering breath and nods. The Sphynx, The TARDIS, and the Universe all sigh. If the Doctor had been paying attention, he would have seen the Sphynx's timeline shift dramatically; he wasn't paying attention. But the Sphynx felt it, as did her Child.
She is right, he forces himself to believe. How can he not trust Rose? She saved him so many times. He believes in her. It is a habit, this mea culpa routine. A habit he doesn't enjoy, but feels he deserves. The Sphynx is implying that he could also deserve to be happy.
Happy, right. If I'm honest with myself, which I try very hard not to be most times, I desperately want to spend the rest of my existence with Rose. The Sphynx is trying to give me the hope that maybe, this was Rose's plan when she was basically a goddess, making all this (whateverthisis) happen. Hope. I love and hate hope. Which will it be today? he questions himself. Glancing again into the Sphynx's eyes, he nods more firmly and whispers, "Allon-sy."