xxx
A shrill ringing in her ears was enough to rouse her from her sleep. It took her a few moments to guage where she was, and what was happening around her. She propped herself up on her forearms, blinking to try and clear her bleary vision.
It was dark out, and after a few moments she remembered she was in her room. She remembered Doug being there, and what she had told him. She must have cried a lot, because her throat felt raw and her eyes stung. She sighed as she rubbed at her eyes, brushing her matted curls off her face.
She slowly reached over to the bedside table, happily turning off the alarm that was ringing in her ears. She caught a glimpse of the photo that mocked her from her nightstand. Yet, despite the pang of pain she felt in her chest, she still smiled sadly at the photo. She slowly pulled herself up, only now taking not of the time. Seven pm. She still had a few hours before work, but she would go in early, rather than stay here.
She swung her legs over the side of the bed, and made her way out of her bedroom. It was only then she heard the unmistakable noises of someone in the kitchen. It was a familiar sound, and this time, sent no alarm bells ringing in her mind.
As a child, you get to learn the sounds of your families footsteps. For Sara, it had been more of a survival instinct for her, to know who was coming up the stairs, when to hide. If it was her father, they were heavy, uneven, stumbling ones, usually accompanied by his shouts, warning her what was coming, but it always gave her a chance to hide. Sometimes he was too drunk to find her. Sometimes, she never got a chance to hide, and others, it only infuriated her more and he wouldn't stop until he had found her, and the beatings would be even more brutal.
She had lived with Doug for a while, back in San Francisco, when things were good between them. It was instinct for her to memorize footsteps, and she hadn't been able to stop that over the years. She made her way into the kitchen, smiling at the sight before her.
Doug hummed quietly to himself as he stood over the stove, concentrating on the pan he had cooking, and from what she could tell, it was his specialty, not that she was surprised. She enjoyed his omelets. "I never thought I would see the day, Doug Wilson, domesticated."
Doug jumped, he hadn't heard her approaching, and obviously hadn't heard the alarm that had roused her from her sleep. "Jesus Christ, Sara. Are you trying to kill me?" He breathed, turning to look at her, an amused smile on his face, matching the one she wore. "What are you even doing awake, you don't have to work for like, five hours?" He asked with a quick glance to the clock on the wall.
Sara shrugged as she got herself a glass of water. "Habit, I guess. I never sleep more than I need to, and get into work as early as I can." She said as she drank some of the cold water, letting it soothe her dry throat.
"I was going to wake you soon, once I had finished cooking, but I started to get hungry, so I was cooking for myself, and I was going to cook for you and then wake you later, once you had slept some more." He said, turning his attention back to the omelet he had been cooking for himself. "How are you feeling now?"
Even though he wasn't looking at her, Sara shifted uncomfortably. "Better." Was all she could manage to say, swallowing some more water quickly, feeling the lump returning in her throat. "Doug... Thank you, for everything. For listening to me, and for being there for me."
Doug smiled softly as he turned to face her. "You need to stop thanking me, Sara. You know I will do anything for you." He said with a small smile. "Now, how about you go for a shower, and I make you something to eat, then you can go on your merry way to work another shift, catching the bad guys. Maybe you'll even get to use some physics, y'know, put that to some use." He added with a wink. It had always been a long running joke between the pair, that her masters in physics was a waste, and just proved she was a nerd. She didn't mind, she knew she wouldn't be where she was today without her physics. That was what had gotten her the job in San Francisco in the first place.
Sara nodded, finishing off the glass of water, and putting it int he dish washer, getting a strange sense of deja vu as she did so. "You know, thank you. I don't know how I can repay you for everything you've done." She said gently to him, her hand resting on his arm.
"Well, how about next time we go out for dinner, you let me pick the place." He said with a grin.
She laughed slightly as she nodded. "Alright, I think that I can manage." She said as she made her way out of the room, back into her bedroom, to the adjoining bathroom. She was looking forward to this shower, more so than she was the food. She stripped off, and turned on her ipod, letting the soft sounds of Ben Howard's haunting voice fill her mind before she slipped into the shower, under the hot spray of the water.
After a few minutes, Doug had finished making his food, and was just about to sit down to eat it when a knock on the door took his attention. He made his way out into the porch as cautious as Sara had, but without the gun. He glanced out the peephole, and as he noticed the familiar face, he unlocked the door and opened it.
"Hey, Russell, right?" He asked as he met the white haired older man on the step, with a perplexed look as to why it was not the brunette he had expected answering the door.
"Yeah, yeah, Doug Wilson, good to see you again. How have you been keeping?" He asked, his eyebrow quirked.
"I'm good. Thank you. Em, Sara's just in the shower, getting ready for shift, can I help you with anything?" He asked a little unsure of what he should do, if he should ask him in or not. He knew Sara and Russell got on well, but Sara was a very private person.
"Yeah, I was just coming by to see how she was, I was going to offer her a lift to work. I know she likes to get in there early, and I was heading in early myself, for a change. The wife is out of town for the weekend, I get restless sitting at home." He said with a small smile.
"Yeah, sure." He stepped aside, opening the door. "Sure, why don't you come in, Sara shouldn't be too long." Russell stepped in and Doug closed the door behind him, locking it just as Sara had. From how Russell maneuvered through the house, Doug had no questions about whether or not he had been in the house before.
The soft sound of shower running, and music filtered through to two men, as they made their way through to the dining are in Sara's home.
"I had just made dinner. Well, breakfast for you nightshift guys." Doug said with a small laugh. "Can I get you anything?" He asked as he sat down at the table, and Russell took the seat opposite.
"No, no, I'm good, thank you." He said gently, as Doug started to eat. "So, I'm guessing she told you about the Ronald Basderic situation?"
Doug shook his head as he swallowed a mouthful. "You know Sara. She doesn't tell you anything if she can get away with it. Julie Finlay, phoned me actually, gave me a heads up, so I came over to see if she was okay. What is going to happen?" He asked, looking up to meet his eyes.
"Well, we're still waiting on a date to be set, but I'm guessing it, with his attorney, it should be no longer than two or three weeks, and it will go to trial, to appeal his bail." He said, pinching the bridge of his nose, hating the thought of it.
"What do you think? How will it go?" Doug asked, as he continued to eat, hungrier than he had expected to be.
Russell shrugged slightly, holding his two hands up. "Who knows? It can go either way, I suppose. I know I told Sara it probably won't happen, but I suppose we have to be prepared for what might happen if he does manage to make bail. This guy is obsessive and patient. Very patient. He will come after her again. He hasn't done what he has wanted to do yet, and that is kill Sara, make her pay for what happened to Edie, because he blames her."
Doug nodded, from all accounts that sounded about right. "Well, if he does make bail, I can promise, he won't be going anywhere near her, until he gets through me." Doug said forcefully.
Russell nodded in agreement. "Yeah, get in line. I feel the same."
They heard the sound of the shower switch off, yet the music stayed on. As they heard Sara padding around in her bedroom, singing along with the music, both men shared a small smile.
Russell leaned forward, lowering his voice as he spoke to Doug. "I haven't seen her much over the last few weeks, she's been off work, and I didn't get much of a chance to talk to her last night, after I told her the news, she shut herself off, as Sara does best, that's why I cam around early, to make sure she was okay. How has she been, has she heard anything from Grissom?"
Doug shook his head. "No, not that she has told me, anyway. As far as I know, she hasn't heard from him at all. I do think she has been struggling hard to not contact him. You know Sara, she's a fighter. She wouldn't give up easily, so this is different. I think she really believes it's over."
"You know, sometimes I want to go find this man myself, and ask him what exactly was going on in his mind when he made that phonecall. From all accounts, he is supposed to be a genius, so I am left perplexed as to why someone would do this to Sara, would break her heart like this, when she deserves so much more." Russell said with a sigh. He had often been curious as to what exactly were the reasons behind it. Maybe it as his life as in investigator, obsessed with finding answers to questions, or maybe it was just out of wanting to care for the woman he had grown so fond of.
He could tell Doug had also fallen under her spell. Not many could escape the charm that was Sara Sidle. Once you met her, she was almost infectious. He had heard the whispers around the lab after the case Doug had worked with them, about a relationship he and Sara had had years previous when they worked together. Sara had confirmed it, one of the nights after shift when they had gone out for breakfast. Sara might have gotten over it, but he could see it in Doug's eyes, how he spoke about her, the promise in his voice when he said Ronald would have to go through him to get to Sara. There was no doubting this man still cared for her greatly.
Doug nodded, pushing his fingers through his hair. "Yeah, I've often wondered that myself. Trust me, it won't be long until he realises what a mistake he made, to let Sara Sidle walk out of his life. I suppose all we can hope, is that she can move on, or, that he realises how wrong he was before she meets somebody else." Doug looked away, dropping his eyes. He was speaking from experience there. He had made that mistake. when he realised just how wrong he had been, how big a mistake it had been letting her go, it was too late. She had already met Gil Grissom, and from that moment on, no other man in the world existed, in her eyes, or her heart.
He sighed as he heard the music switch off. He stood, collecting his plate and stowing them in the dishwasher.
Sara walked out of the bedroom, just as Doug made his way back to join Russell. "I thought I heard a familiar voice." Sara said softly, with a smile.
"Hey, Sara. How are you doing?" DB asked, his body turned to face her.
"Ready for another day at work." Sara said, with a practiced, easy smile, as she pulled her leather jacked on over her purple top and jeans. She grabbed her gun out of the closet, along with her ID and slung her green bag over her shoulder.
"Good, good. You look well today." He was telling the truth, she looked better rested, and a little more at peace than she had been in a long time. Maybe Doug was good for her.
Sara glanced at Doug, who gave her a knowing glance. It was obvious, sharing that secret she had kept for so long had benefited her. He was glad she was finally starting to get some peace.
"Yeah, well, you'd be amazed at what a good nights sleep and a nice shower can do for someone." Sara shrugged it off, keeping the smile on her face. "So, what brings you out here, Russell?"
"Well, you know, Barbara is out of town, I was getting restless at home, so I decided I might head in early. I have a lot of paperwork to catch up on. I may have been neglecting that side of the supervisor job lately."
Sara chuckled shortly at that comment, nodding knowingly. "Yeah Gil ah... Always hated that part too." She said quietly, glancing down at her hands for a moment, her eye catching the void on her ring finger, and she shoved them in her pockets. "So, let me guess, you came to pick me up? I was just about to head in, so I'm ready."
"Perfect, well timed then." DB smiled.
Sara turned and looked to Doug, "I'll take a rain check on that food, for now." Sara smiled. "Are you staying here, or are you going back to your apartment?" Sara asked Doug.
"I'll go back to the apartment, I have a few things I need to organise." Doug said, as he gathered up his keys and his jacket.
The three of them left the house, and Sara checked the doors and windows, making sure they were locked, and then set the alarm and locked the front door. "Okay, ready to go." She said, as she followed Russell to his car, and Doug made his way to his own. "Thank you, Doug." Sara called over to him with a smile.
"What did I tell you about that." Doug retorted as he unlocked his car. "You know where I am if you need me, go catch the bad guys." He said with a wink, as they both climbed into the different vehicles.
Sara slipped into the passenger seat, and put on her seat belt. She looked over to her friend, whose eyes were on her, eyebrows arched in question. "What?" She asked.
"Nothing. I'm just merely noting how comfortable Doug seems to be around you, and familiar around your home." He said, in a teasing tone. He knew Sara loved Grissom more than anything, and although it would be a little out of character for her, she still would not be the first person to fall into the arms of a familiar, comforting man, in the result of a breakdown of a marriage.
"Doug is just a friend." Sara said with a small laugh. "I've already told you. what we had was finished years ago, and he's just a friend now. I am thankful to have him, he has done a lot for me." Sara's dark eyes met the blue, and she laughed once more. "I swear, nothing has happened, he's just a friend."
"Are you sure that's all you are to him?" Russell asked, as he pulled out of the driveway.
Sara opened her mouth to reply but she found she couldn't answer straight away. She took a moment, and nodded then. "Yeah, yeah, that's all." Her eyes moved to gaze out the window, as she mulled this over in her mind.
"All right, Sara." And the conversation was left at that, as DB focused on driving, and Sara contemplated the question that now burned through her mind. Of course he only seen her as a friend. But, maybe she should talk to him about it, just in case. Surely he would only laugh at her, and tease her for having had such a thought.
He couldn't still have feelings for her, could he?
xxx
He sighed heavily as he pushed himself back against the cool wall in the bathroom. He had just emptied the entire contents of his stomach, which wasn't much, into the toilet. He had been warned about this, but he could never have been fully prepared for the effect chemotherapy would have on his body.
He was constantly tired. Most of his days were spent resting in bed, only rising to shower quickly, or to use the bathroom. Some days when he was feeling a little better, he would make it to the chair that had been positioned by the window so he could look out as he read through his book for the day.
He had lost weight, and no longer had that round belly that had made him so self-conscious when it came to undressing in front of his wife in the beginning. Soon, when he finally accepted that she didn't care, and realised just what effect he had over her own body, he started to feel less self conscious.
His hair had thinned out, and was almost completely white at this stage. When he looked in the mirror, he cringed, sunken eyes, no longer a bright blue, pale skin, and a frame that seemed to skinny. He had become the old man he had always been terrified of becoming.
Each time he looked at himself, it further cemented how glad he was that Sara would never see him like this. Of course, in his weaker moments, all he wanted was her. He wanted nothing more than to be curled around her body, wrapped tight against him, her warm frame keeping his body warm with the shivering started, wiping the clammy skin when he got too hot, or simply just reciting passages of Shakespeare to him when he felt he could not hold a book.
He longed for her touch on a daily basis, but he never let himself stoop into the selfish want of phoning her, of telling her everything, just to have her come to him. And he knew she would come. With no hesitation. She would drop everything and come to him. She would look after him until he took his last breath. She would do all that she had listed and more for him.
He would never lumber her with that, with the responsibility of caring for a dying old man. The doctors were hopeful though. They said it the cancer had been caught in an early stage, before it had a chance to spread from his pancreas. They maintained that chemo should help reduce the tumors, but Gil Grissom was not a stupid man. He knew the chemotherapy didn't agree with hi, it wasn't working for him. Maybe there were other options, but he didn't feel too hopeful these days.
He had moved back home, to his own house, a familiar surrounding for him. He told his mother. He had to tell someone, someone he loved and someone who would support him. He had always told her everything, that had not changed. She often asked about Sara, but he had told her on many occasions, warned her, Sara was not to know, not until after he had died.
His mother was hopeful too, she spent a lot of time in church praying for him. A lot of her friends would get together to pray for him, and he was thankful for that, he appreciated their time, but he did not know if he believed it would do him any good.
He stood up on shaky legs, and hung his head over the sink. He ran the cold tap, washed his face, and then brushed his teeth, avoiding looking at himself in the mirror. He didn't need anything else that might make him vomit. His appearance these days was one of those things.
Apart from the vomiting, he had been having one of his good days. He had been sitting at the desk in what used to be his fathers study, and he had taken it over as his own as he had grown older. He made his way back there, after grabbing a bottle of ginger ale from the fridge, to wash down the taste still prominent in his mouth.
He sat at his desk once more, and looked back at what he had been reading through, for what felt like the one hundredth time. His will. Newly updated. There was only two beneficiaries in his will. His mother, and Sara. He left enough to his mother so that she would have no money problems for the rest of her life. Everything else went to Sara, and it was still a substantial amount. He left the house to her, all money, all of his belongings. He would make sure she was cared for, even if he wouldn't be there to do it.
He closed it over, and pulled out the second file, the one that he had been avoiding looking at for obvious reasons. Divorce papers. He didn't want to leave her as a widow. Maybe it would be easier for her to deal with his death if they were divorced. it would start the healing process for her. She could already start to move on, to forget him, before the news came, and maybe it would be easier for her to deal with then.
He was just about to open them when he heard the doorbell go, the bells ringing, vibrating across the floorboards, a useful mechanism for the deaf, to tell when there was someone at the door.
He closed them over, and slowly made his way out of the office, to the front door. He wasn't expecting anyone, his mother was out at church, as she spent most of her days, and they rarely had any other visitors, by his own wish.
He pulled the door open, and stood, awestruck, his eyes locked on the burning eyes of his visitor, ones that had captured his attention years ago.
"Heather." He breathed. "What are you doing here?"
xxx
A/N: Dun, dun, duuun. Uh-oh, what did Rachel do? Let me know what you think! Love you all!