A/N I am again staying up way to late to post this but I guess university isnt too important... shout outs to the four readers perviously mentioned in other notes. they rock and review every single chapter. arent they cool? To Captian Grammar (he he giggle giggle) your two comments made my day epically. As for how I right so much well theres a story there. One of my best friends passed away six months ago from cancer. sense than I've been having more problems than normal sleeping. well I figured out if i take like half an hour or so almost every night to write a bit I sleep alot better. so with that I can update quickly. but like i said your comments made me epically happy :) just a little back story. this chapter should be pretty clear cut so any questions just ask!

Chapter Ten

Buffy woke the next morning to a chink in her neck other less pleasant things. She was on her couch leaned against Spike. She wondered how she got there before remembering after she finished her tea they went to sit down. Neither ready to mount the stairs and once again become lost in their dreams. So they sat and talked. About Spike having a soul, his guilt, his need for some sort of redemption, about her duty, how she was damned to never have a normal existence.

"If I could stop fighting," She blurted at one point, "If I was given the choice… I couldn't do it. Not anymore. At one time yes. I don't know when that changed. I want to talk to my friends about boys, school. Or the latest movie in the theater. Not demons or vampires or another apocalypse or prophecy. Sometimes I want to be normal." She paused staring off into space as if she could see life she might have been given the opportunity to live it. "But I can't. Even if Drusilla hadn't killed Kendra, even if Faith hadn't become evil, I could never have stopped. I never can stop. And sometimes, sometimes I want to be able to more than anything."

"Do you really pet?" Spike asked her. "Can you honestly say you'd change it all now if you could? Go back to being some blonde lil Goldie Locks unable to protect 'erself or her friends? Too being vaurnrable? I know you Slayer, I know deep down, or even not so deep you love the power. So tell me, do you really?"

She thought of that for a moment. "No, I don't want to be that again," she finally answered, "Your right. I do love it. Not just for the power but knowing I do something good something no one else can… but I would trade that to know that just being around me wouldn't kill my friends, knowing that I'd never have to make the choice to send my boyfriend to hell to save the world. Never being afraid for the ones I love all the time because one day I might not be there in time. I'd give everything I've gained the last five years sense I was called when I was fifteen if I could know that they were safe."

The conversation didn't flow. It came in short spurts and stops. Words bubbling to the surface uncensored.

"How do you do it Spike? Live with it?"

He didn't have to ask to know what she meant. "Some days I don' know luv. Few days it was you, daring me with that damn look of yours to be a better man. You always treated me like man… and well…" Spike trailed off leaving the sentence unfinished, "Other days it was something else. The baby. When I was human I wanted to be a dad. Than it just was obvious it wouldn't happen. The monk helped a few times. An' I knew I had to take care of Dru. Bloody hell I don't even like the crazy bitch any more but I 'ave to protect the kid. An' I would be lying I guess if I said I didn't feel anything for Dru. Feelings of a hundred fifty plus years don't just go away s'ppse"

It went on for the whole night. A tirade of brutal honesty that rarely was present in normal communication. The sun rose as they nodded off to sleep, leaning into each other.

Buffy didn't know what time it was when she woke up. She cracked her neck surprised that the noise didn't wake Spike up. A giggle from the other side of the room drew her eyes to the chair. Drusilla sat in the chair giggling her insane giggle. Not for the first time Buffy was tempted to shove a stake though her heart. If it hadn't been for the baby Buffy might have.

"Naughty, naughty Spike. He's not supposed to do that. Its unnatural it is." She smiled gently combing her dolls hair. She rocked back and forth in the chair.

"Do you need anything Drusilla?" Buffy asked. She had no idea what to do with the vampire. She couldn't really be left alone with anyone but her and Spike but she had to stay at the Summers residences to be sure she didn't eat anyone. Plus even if she was crazy and dangerous Buffy knew her mother couldn't though a pregnant woman out of the house. Speaking of pregnancy Buffy didn't know the first thing about it. She didn't give a rat's left buttocks about the mother but the baby was important. Not just because of her significance either, this baby deserved to have the chance Buffy herself never got.

"Blood."

"We have some in fridge I'll get it for you."

"No!" Drusilla shouted causing Spike to start. He was more than a bit surprised to find himself on the couch with the Slayer, until he remembered the previous night. Turning to Drusilla he tried to figure out what the hell had caused her to yell like a banshee.

"No!" she shouted again, "Icky, nasty dead blood. I want real blood. Flowing, alive! I want blood."

He laughed a bit at the Slayers face as she tried to think of a way to deal with his literally insane ex.

"Dru," he cut in, "It's all there is. Now be a good girl and eat it." He was used to her ways, knew how to read her moods.

She pouted at him. Three years ago that look would have made him her slave. Now it barely stirred anything. Drew stormed off into the kitchen. Spike reluctantly sighed and followed her. He was heating up blood for both himself and Dru when Joyce and Buffy joined them. The strange group of four sat around the island all eating or drinking their respective breakfasts.

"The gang is coming over again today," Buffy turned to her mother breaking the silence.

"I guessed as much. Saturday's your generally here or at the Magic Box. I figured because of last night it would be here. I'll pick up some groceries when I run to the gallery later this morning." Buffy smiled at her mother, silently giving her thanks.

She then turned to Spike and Drusilla, "There has to be a few ground rules," she began, "Spike either you or I have to be with Drusilla at all times. She's insane already and she's going to get hormonal. We're the only ones who can control her. Obviously you two can leave the house but I have to know when and where. And when Drusilla starts showing you won't be able to. I don't want Glory to somehow get a hint at what's going on. Will she stay…" Buffy paused trying to think of the apporpiate word, "constructively busy when the gangs here? We have to get more information on this baby. I mean we think its human but what does that mean."

"Now you sound a bit like Red." Spike stated, "And yeah. We brought her dolls she should be fine upstairs."

"Ok, good. Now we just have to make sure she doesn't kill anyone."

Buffy had barely finished her sentence when Drusilla said "he he, the blood its flowing now. And the world is all black and dark and wonderful. Run and catch, run and catch the lamb is caught in the blackberry patch…" she laughed even harder as she said, "It all comes down to the blood. It's going to be positively evil."

The others stared at her, all of them wondering the same thing. Was this a prediction or the insane mutterings of a crazy vampire.