Is it possible for someone to be a complete human bomb?

Welcome… to Namimori.

News.

A baby is seen… what?

A… baby… is seen levitating a dog, a Chihuahua to be precise, saving a middle school boy from being terrorized.

…That is slightly strange, but of course, it's not as strange as the ominous looking figures always stalking me in my sleep just outside of my abode!

Hm, maybe I shouldn't have mentioned that.

And now for our list of missing things. To return them to the owners, please submit these things if you ever spot them to the Lost and Found Office just beside the city park. Here is the list:

· Dynamites

· Blood-covered knife

· A lone zombie staggering around

· Wallet full of European money

· Backpack; and

· An unnamed Child

And that is the list of missing things.

Back to news:

A child, the same child from earlier, seems to be looking for someone, which people suspect is his parent. The child, whom we now know is I-pin- what a strange name for a strange kid –appears to be 'grumpy-looking' and 'a rude brat, randomly running away from conversations'. The police are now helping the child finding the person by printing out posters and showing them to citizens, asking if they ever saw the man.

More to the story, as it continues.

Anyway, let us now go to our Horoscope. Ooh, I hope I'll get a good one today!

Aries: Be good to your children today, as doing so you will get good karma! Aries is the luckiest this week.

Virgo: Doing things to the extreme is good, if not too annoying.

Aquarius: You will have the worst luck this week. Also, your admirer will still not confess to you today. If you even have an admirer.

Leo: Don't be reckless, or else your neck will break, and you will die a very embarrassing death.

Sagittarius: You all have serious health problems.

Taurus: You have luck in hanging out with people today! Better luck if you hang out with children.

Scorpio: Your plan still won't work, so it's better if you would just stop it before you hurt yourself.

Cancer: You will be appreciated more than usual by your boss today! Your lucky number for the day is 84.

Gemini: What are you doing with your life right now?

Capricorn: You are accident prone today. Please refrain from using knives to prevent injuries from happening.

Libra: You will be a part of something big, whether you like it or you like it.

And that, dear listeners, is today's Horoscope.

This is just in; an explosion just occurred at approximately twenty feet away from Namimori Middle School in the sky! As a member of the Disciplinary Committee, I advise- I mean, I hereby order everyone to please calm down and do not freak the fuck out or I will be forced to… do things.

Violent things.

The explosion is reported to as loud and bright, a standard definition of a normal bomb thrown out in the sky. The other members of the committee are now investigating the area of the explosion, only to find out that it is merely a cause of a child.

…Why does this seem oddly familiar?

Anyway, they have now left the scene, thinking that it was merely a hallucination fabricated by their delusional minds.

The police would like to announce that the man the child named I-pin was looking for has been finally found. Not only that, the person that I-pin has been looking for is a mafia boss, and that the child is supposed to assassinate the aforementioned mafia boss.

Well, this day just keeps getting stranger and stranger.

Eh, not really.

Listeners, I present to you the weather.

(Ningen Bakudan I-pin – Katekyoushi Hitman Reborn OST)

Welcome back, listeners. I hoped you all enjoyed your dinner.

I just recently received news about another explosion, this time located in the Sawada Residence in the suburbs. Fortunately, there were no casualties, although there may be a few victims who were inflicted with minor injuries and concussions.

In another note, scientists report that there has been a spike of time travel energy, detected by their new invention, which is an energy detector. They- the scientists –are now trying to study the source of energy, which could potentially be harmful to citizens in Namimori.

That is all for today.

Good night, Namimori.

Good night.

AN: yoooooooooooooo so i uh prolly wont update during weekends (even tho i planned to) because... camping. and other dumb shit.

Irregular updates are irregular.

Bah-bye~!