(A/Ns: Nearly 3 weeks hell yeh! Ok so I really wanted to get this up before I went on holiday but like, I didn't, even though I had like 1000 words left. So then I planned to write on the 11 hour flight out, but my laptop wouldn't turn on. Obvs I couldn't write on holiday, so I finished this on the flight home at like 5am whilst pulling an all-nighter to write fics, fuck yeh. So, I apologise if there's like 100 typos; I had the text really small bc I'm not completely shameless. Oh, and also, there'll be one more chapter after this, plus an epilogue like usual.

Review or… idek.

Content warnings: Pregnancy, some references to sex (quite a few actually), some nonPC comments from James and Lela like usual.

Disclaimer: I do not own Pandora Hearts or my friends (to an extent…))

Chapter 10

"YOU'RE WHAT?!" Lela screeched, lunging forward. Instinctively, Sami leapt forward, grabbing her arms and restraining her, as she thrashed around in her grip.

"I'm pregnant," Jess repeated, "Is that a difficult concept to grasp?"

"Lela's asexual self can't handle the idea of reproduction," Sami commented, "Or sex, at that."

"Haha, so true," Lela chuckled, resuming to her normal volume as she continued, "YOU HAVE OFFICIALLY BROKEN RULE NUMBER 2 OF MY FABULOUS SET OF RULES-"

"I think they've broken all of them, actually," KT countered.

"Not the white walls one," Lela replied, scanning the others uneasily, "… right?"

"Well…" Sami snickered, "Wait, where'd Break go? He just snuck off without us noticing. What a dick."

"I-I'll go look for him!" Oz declared, hurrying off. He tried to convince himself that he'd gone searching for Break out of concern, but in all actuality, he was just trying to escape the extremely awkward situation kicking off. If Gilbert wanted to reproduce, then it was his decision – but he didn't want anything to do with the ordeal.

"You guys abuse me," Lela pouted, "This is animal abuse. I'm gonna call the NSPCA!"

"Well you go do that," Sami responded sarcastically, glaring down at her, "Alright, Jess?"

"Yes?"

"How exactly did this happen?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Jess asked rhetorically, "The first night I screwed this guy, a few weeks ago, we used no protection, and we haven't done since."

"Well that makes sense," Sami sighed.

"HEY! WHY DID YOU KEEP FORESHADOWING IT?!" Lela yelled, Sami grabbing her arms and yanking her backwards, "You kept saying 'I'm not pregnant yet'. FUCKING 'YET'! OF COURSE! YOU KNEW IT WOULD HAPPEN!"

"Precisely," Jess shrugged, "I'm 17. I'm perfectly capable of conceiving and raising a child."

"Argh, no," James screwed his face up. "Scum. We are not living with a fucking child in this house!"

"Seconded," Lela pouted, "You might as well drown it. Or burn it."

"You're not murdering my child," Jess glared at her. "Gil? What are your thoughts on the matter?"

"Er…" Gilbert stuttered, "… No comment."

"Come on, Gil!" Vincent cheered, throwing his arm around his brother's neck, clinging to him annoyingly, "You're going to be a father? Aren't you proud?"

"Not really…" Gilbert answered, averting his gaze as a blush crept up onto his face, "I-I mean this is… this is crazy… how can it have taken once?"

"Would you like me to recite the events of that night?" Jess offered, a teasing grin tugging at her lips.

Frantically, Gil shook his head. "No thank you."

"THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE!" Lela screamed at the top of her lungs, jumping on top of the sofa – just to give her that extra height boost, "I REFUSE TO CATER FOR A PREGNANCY!"

"What's pregnancy?" Alice asked, clueless, "Can I eat it?"

Jess turned her head, shooting her a blank and perplexed expression. "You're even dumber than V."

"You can't eat it, no," KT told her, ignoring the others, "Well…"

"Cannibalism for the win!" V cheered, grabbing onto Sami's shoulders.

"You're not eating the child," Sami glared at KT and Alice, shaking her head with an exhausted sigh, "So… what happens now?"

"You guys," Lela scowled, narrowing her eyes and pointing to Gil and Jess, "Get out."

"I'm sorry?" Jess questioned, "I thought you'd appreciate me telling you instead of just randomly shitting a child out one day!"

"Um…" ET interjected, "Sorry to intervene, but… I'm not sure that's quite how childbirth works…"

"It's not," James whispered, screwing his face up in disgust, "They're bare scum. Education is a foreign concept to them."

"Oh…" ET muttered, picking up the loose earphone and plugging it in, "I'm… going to quietly zone out now."

"Yeh, you do that," Sami spat, "You two are just making things worse."

"People tell me that a lot," James acknowledged, "I don't really get what they mean. I don't make things worse."

"Yes, you really do," Lela deadpanned, before leaping off the sofa and prancing over to Sami. Exaggeratingly, she flung her arm around Sami's shoulders, leaning on her and consequently earning a weak glare. "What is your opinion on the matter at hand? I feel like we need to hear the ultimate voice of justice… besides me, of course."

"Well…" Sami started tentatively, "I guess… it's sort of irresponsible. I mean, now that it's done, it's done, and that can't be changed. But, me and Break always used protection, and I know V and Lela probably did too, considering I've lectured V more than enough times. I don't see why you'd ever have sex without protection, if you didn't want a child as the outcome, that is."

"Technically," Leo intervened, snickering to himself, "If there's a same sex couple, that issue won't arise."

"Oi! Leo!" Elliot blurted, slamming a hand over the noirette's mouth and shutting him up, cursing himself as his cheeks reddened, "That wasn't necessary to bring up!"

Calmly, Leo raised his hands, pulling away Elliot's hand from his mouth and speaking. "I wasn't wrong, was I?"

"Ngh… just shut your mouth now…" Elliot muttered under his breath, his eyes darting around the room, "What?! Someone just… change the topic!"

"What's happening now?" Sami asked, "Come on, I'm not making the decision."

"That's fine," Lela smirked evilly, stalking over to the door; swinging it open dramatically, "Get out."

"You can't just kick someone pregnant out onto the streets!" Gilbert defended, his eyes doubling in size at the implication.

"YOU BROKE THE RULES!" Lela shrieked, "YOU GET OUT!"

"Whatever…" Jess rolled her eyes, exhaling exhaustedly. A few seconds later, she shook her head, grabbing Gilbert's arm and dragging him out. "We'll be fine alone, wouldn't you say?"

Lela ran to the door, Sami and Vincent following close behind her. Alice and KT seemed to be off in their own world; Elliot, Leo, ET and James had all left, and V just appeared to be slightly unaware of what was actually happening right now.

"GO GET AN ABORTION, AND THEN COME BACK!" Lela called after them, Jess sending her a piercing glare before heading off into the distance, their shadows dissipating behind them.

Thankfully, as they began filing back inside, an awkward silence lingering between them, Oz came running in frantically.

"You find him?"

"Yeh…" Oz panted, "Someone… call an ambulance… he's throwing up blood!"

….

Impatiently, Sami clicked her tongue against the roof of her mouth, tapping her foot against the floor in a consistent rhythm. The sterile white environment of the hospital wasn't helping, white washed walls blinding her. There was a lingering scent of bleach and cleaning product, but to Sami, it was all just too pure; especially for a place which saw death on a daily basis.

The blonde beside her wasn't particularly helpful either, casually swinging his legs on the edge of the chair, bouncing up and down and scanning the room. His curiosity was piqued, and it almost seemed as if he'd never even seen a hospital before.

"How are you not nervous?" Sami asked, grabbing his attention, "Does this, like, happen a lot?"

"Not hospitals, no," Oz answered, his eyes travelling around the room idly, "But the collapsing and stuff, yeh. Usually he gets told off by Reim or Sharon, and then they force him to stay in bed for the day."

Sami tilted her head at him questioningly. "Who're they? Your family or something? His family? Lovers?"

"Reim and Break?!" Oz yelped, feeling his temperature increase slightly, "N-no… Break… has no family…"

"Ah, I see…" Sami hummed in thought, "Do… any of you? I mean, you know a lot about us. The last people, and the people before that, and the people before that all had no families. Families they stayed in contact with, at least."

"I guess some of us doing in a way, hehe…" Oz chuckled, scratching the back of his head avoidantly, "Me and Gil… he grew up as my valet, and Vincent's his brother… probably. Elliot… is part of a large family, but Leo, his valet… well, he has no family alive anymore."

"Eh, not the worst I've heard," Sami commented, "So, you said this happens to Break a lot? How come?"

"Um…" Oz stammered, "Well… I guess he pushes himself a lot? Sharon, probably the only person he would consider close to family… she called him 'Mr One-Man-Show'. Hehe, I guess there's an element of truth in that…"

"Oh, I know," Sami smirked, "I've seen that in the bedroom."

"Ah-" Oz's mouth dropped open. "That's… not quite what I meant…"

The two fell into silence for a few moments, before the name 'Xerxes Break' was called.

"That's us!" Oz announced, leaping off the chair and being followed by Sami.

"How is he doing?" she asked uneasily, following the doctor down the corridor, "Is he awake yet?"

The doctor nodded affirmatively. "He's stable. I just have to fill out a few forms, and he'll be free to go. There's no serious complications I can tell of, but if this happens again, don't hesitate to come back."

"I see, thank you," Sami nodded, as the doctor opened the door before them and allowed them inside, waving at Break and heading off down the corridor.

"So, you're not dead yet?" Oz laughed, skipping over to the bed and perching on the edge of one of the chairs, swinging his legs back and forth restlessly.

"You thought you could get rid of me that easily?" Break cocked an eyebrow, fiddling with the multiple IVs hooked up to his arm with a frown. "You really didn't need to bring me to a hospital. I would've woken up fine."

"Sure…" Sami hummed, not believing it for a split second, "You're good for now?"

"Mhm."

"So…" Oz mumbled, a large smile stretching across his face, "Did you hear the news?!"

"That Gilbert has successfully managed to pass on his genes?" Break snickered, "I heard~"

"You make it sound like it's a disaster for humanity!" Oz whined, "Gil would be a great father!"

"Yeh. Maybe. But Jess is the mother," Sami deadpanned, "Jess isn't the problem though. No no. The problem is that Jess is staying with Lela, and Lela is the problem. 'Drown the child' is her catchphrase, as far as I'm aware."

"…"

"So… down to serious stuff…" Oz changed the topic abruptly, deciding it would be safer to avoid that topic all together. "Break… has your eyesight…?"

"No worse," Break replied, a hint of sadness riddled throughout his words; one which was rarely there, "No better."

"Wait, eyesight?" Sami repeated questioningly, "Wha…?"

"Ah, crap!" Oz cried, "Sorry, Break! I-"

"I think she can be trusted," Break interjected, "I have to say, other than you, I believe the only person who may have figured it out is that Leo boy."

"You're… blind?" Sami said uneasily, "… nah."

"Not entirely," Break countered, "Individual objects, maybe. Faces and colours… not a chance~"

"Oh…" Sami sighed.

"Don't be sad about it," Break exhaled, sitting up exhaustedly, "It's not lonely."

"It better not be," Sami mentioned, before a sly grin tugged at her lips, "That just means that, tonight, we better make sure things are slightly more… sensual."

"…"

….

"THERE YOU AREEE!" Lela screamed, spotting Gilbert and Jess' heads poking out the top of a bush in the middle of a park. She pranced over dramatically like usual, storming into the bushes without a care in the world…

…. to find Jess on top of Gilbert.

"UGH! GUYS!" Lela whined, flailing her arms around, "NOT. IN. PUBLIC."

"No sex in public isn't in your rules," Jess smirked.

"WHAT DIFFERENCE WOULD IT MAKE?!" Lela screeched, "SO WAS 'NO GETTING PREGNANT' BUT YOU STILL WENT AND DID THAT!"

"Correct."

"We're still clothed," Gilbert muttered, crawling out from underneath her and slipping a cigarette between his teeth, lighting up.

"NOT. GOOD. ENOUGH!" Lela shouted, face-palming, " has stopped working."

"Does that mean dies?" Jess chuckled.

"No. I'm too amazing to die," Lela declared, "Now get in the van. We're going to the hospital to find Sami, Break and Oz, and to get rid of that child."

"Fooling around in a hospital, huh…" Jess muttered under her breath, winking suggestively at Gilbert, "Looks like I'll be ticking that one off my bucket list."

"NO SEX IN THE HOSPITAL FOR FUCKS SAKE!"

….

"Lela and the others just pulled up," Sami informed the other two, standing up, "Oz, you go get the discharge papers. I've got to go and make sure they don't kill each other."

"Ah… that sounds like a good idea- oh," Oz sighed, the door being slammed shut bang in the middle of his sentence, "Never mind."

Meanwhile, at the front of the hospital, Sami had just met up with Lela, Jess and Gilbert clinging to each other as they staggered into the hospital.

"Aaannnnnddddd they've been drinking," Sami deadpanned.

Lela raised an eyebrow. "Have they?"

"Mhm," Sami nodded, snatching the keys out of her hands and leading her inside, "You didn't notice?"

"No," Lela shook her head, "I was too busy finding them bonking in public."

"Haha," Sami chuckled, "That's brilliant. We should get Elliot and Leo doing that some time."

"… you know usually I'd scold you for being almost as crude and perverted as Jess…" Lela mentioned, "But I ship them so hard. Hahahaha. No pun intended."

"… why are you laughing at your own joke?"

"Cause no one else will. And I personally think I'm hilarious."

"Riiggghhhhttttt…" Sami hummed, spotting Oz and Break waiting the moment they arrived, "Where did Jess and Gil go?"

"Hopefully to get an abortion…" Lela murmured sulkily.

"There's a cupboard over there~" Break snickered, "Take a hint. What a responsible fatherly thing to do."

"Let's just go," Sami sighed, "OI! JESS! GILBERT! WE'RE GOING!"

There was a brief moment of silence, before the door clicked open, the rather dishevelled pair strutting out with a disappointed expression spread across their faces.

"Yes mother," Jess groaned, walking back to the van whilst keeping her distance from Lela, who continued glaring at her from a few metres away.

"So, er, Gil…" Oz said quietly, "Congratulations."

"I guess…" Gilbert replied uneasily, "I'm not sure how it happened, to be honest…"

"You forgot protection~" Break teased, before adopting a much softer tone, "You know, Gil, I have to say. If you were the one taking care of the child, I don't think it'd go too badly. Of course, I'd be an amazing father, and uncle~"

"What, you planning on getting Sami pregnant tonight?" Gilbert scoffed, shaking his head.

"Can I be uncle Oz?!" the smaller blonde beamed, giving Gil his best puppy eyes, "Please!"

"I'm not sure I'll ever see the child…" Gilbert countered.

"I'll be dead by the time the child is born," Break realised, somewhat disappointed.

Abruptly, however, he froze, squinting slightly and raising a hand to his left ear.

"Break?" Gilbert asked, tilting his head at the other, "Is that… Equus?"

Break nodded, signalling for the others to be quiet.

'Xerx! We've found you… listen, I'm sorry we lost you for so long. I hope you found somewhere safe. I hope you're alright yourself, and getting by as you always do… we'll be collecting you again tomorrow morning, okay? Just… hold on. We're coming.'

"That was… Reim…" Break explained, letting his hair drop in front of his face. As much as he'd hate to confess, hearing Reim's voice really hit him. "We're… returning to Pandora… tomorrow morning."