Thin Walls

:

:

:

It happened, the one thing Ed hoped he'd never have to experience.

It was 12:45 AM, and he was almost asleep, when he heard it.

It was a faint moan, followed by a 'thump' and squeaks from a metal-framed bed.

"No," he whispered to himself. "No, no, no…"

He covered his ears with the pillow, but it didn't drown out a damn thing. His next-door neighbors, ones he didn't even know he had, were impossibly loud.

He didn't know what the hell to do. Al was passed out on the couch, so he couldn't go out there. He didn't have any ear plugs, and he sold his stereo before moving in.

"Son of a bitch."

About two minutes into unintelligible mutters of names and dirty talk, his phone went off. He figured it was a petrified Al who got woken up by that last barrage of loud wall thumping, but it was Winry.

(12:51): Sounds like Jean and Rebecca are back from their honeymoon. Guess the shits wanted to sneak passed us and keep the lovin' going.

Ed let out a groan.

(12:52): Is it like this ALL THE TIME?

(12:53): If you don't interfere, yes.

"Jesus," he muttered.

(12:53): HOW DO I STOP IT?!

She didn't respond. Instead, about three minutes later, there was a knock on his door. He crept to it quietly, hoping to let his brother sleep through this nightmare.

"Hey," Winry whispered, as he creaked the door open.

"Did this really require you to come over?" he asked quietly, but she paid him no mind and she strolled into the apartment.

"The art of shutting those lovebirds up is a delicate one," she explained, glancing back at him from over her shoulder. "It has do be done a specific way, plus. I want to be the one to do it."

Ed rolled his eyes as he shut the door, and scratched his bare stomach. "Whatever."

Winry smirked as she looked at him, then quickly turned her attention to his apartment. Now that he thought about it, she had never been inside here, had she?

"Huh," she said, as she looked around his living room. "It's not as bad as I thought it'd be. Way too much red and black, though."

"What the hell's that supposed to mean?" he exclaimed, but his stirring brother caused him to freeze.

"Shh!" Winry breathed, her eyes wide and a smile beginning to crack. "People are trying to sleep."

"Ha ha," he snarled, and crossed his arms as he glared at her. "Can we just get this over with?"

"Don't get your briefs in a bunch," she joked, and headed back towards his bedroom.

"I don't wear briefs," he grumbled as he followed behind.

Winry peaked back at him, a single eye glancing him up and down. "I can tell."

… And Ed was pretty sure his entire face was blood red.

She went into his room and, as she did with every part of his house (and him), she looked over every part of it. A snort escaped her when he noticed his extensively high volume collection of manga and comics.

"What's so funny?" he asked defensively.

"Nothing," she waved. "I just can't believe you read Naruto, of all things! You seem more like a Death Note kind of guy."

"You read manga?" he asked, quite surprised, as she walked over to the wall that separated his place from the still all-too-loud couple.

"Had to find an outlet for my dorkiness in some way," she explained, then cleared her throat as she bounced on the tips of her feet.

"First lesson for dealing with loud neighbors," Winry began, "is knowing the perfect mood killer."

She then began to bang on the wall ferociously, screaming and whining like an infant child.

"What the hell?" Ed heard a muffled voice say from the other side.

"If you don't want a crying baby waking you up so early in your marriage," Winry hollered, "cool it with the loud sex! You're scaring the new neighbor!"

She then turned to Ed and smiled. "And that, is how it's done."

He stared back at her with complete surprise. "I think you were louder than they were."

She shrugged and began to walk out. "At least they know now to keep it quiet."

Ed nodded at the response and followed her to the living room.

"Well, thanks, I guess," he told her as he opened the front door.

"No problem!" she replied. "Everyone here has a different way to shut them up when they're being loud, doesn't matter the reason. Just let me know if you need anymore tips."

He chuckled. "Alright, what shuts you up?"

"Ha! Wouldn't you like to know?" she snorted, and headed back to her apartment.

He closed the door and locked it, but nearly jumped out of his skin when he saw Al sitting up on the couch, looking like a disheveled zombie.

"Were you and Winry having sex?" he said.

Ed thought he was going to have a heart attack. "What?! NO!"

"Oh," he yawned, and laid back down. "I was about to say, you need to learn how to keep it down. It sounded like you woke up the neighbor's baby."

:

:

: