Thanks to everyone for all your lovely reviews on the last chapter. I appreciate them more than I can say. Hope you enjoy this one!
Chapter 10:
Batman almost laughed, staring a long moment at the lunatic, unable to keep the smirk from his lips.
"That isn't much incentive Joker." He said, folding his arms over his chest. "I think the floor might be more comfortable than that bed of yours."
The Joker's brow furrowed, frowning slightly as he looked down, pressing his palms down across the mattress, pushing against it.
It creaked under the weight.
"I think it's pretty comfortable." He said, looking back up to the crusader.
Batman looked back disbelievingly, silent a moment before his head shook.
"Well I guess to you, it would be." He at last replied, remembering the Joker's last place of residence.
The madman wasn't exactly used to luxury. And the beds at Arkham weren't exactly soft.
"If you mean that I've slept worse places," the Joker suddenly grinned. "you'd be right."
Bruce found his lips pulling down at the corners.
Eyeing the clown a long, few seconds.
"Why do you treat yourself this way Joker?" He heard himself abruptly ask, not even sure why.
And the Joker's expression shifted into puzzlement.
"Do what?" He asked, confused.
"This…" Batman held his hands out, indicating the apartment. "why do you live like this? It's like you don't even try to take care of yourself."
The madman smiled knowingly, his head tilting.
"Well, Batsy, the thing is, I really don't." He answered.
"But why?" The detective pressed. "If you wanted Joker, you could be living it up the same as so many of these mob dealers do. You could have an organization of lap dogs like Cobblepot. But instead you're holed up in some dilapidated apartment unit, living in practical squalor. You have the biggest ego I've ever encountered in any criminal, and that's saying a lot. And yet you treat yourself like you're worthless."
The Joker leered at him, eyes narrowing.
"You never do quit, do you babe?"
For a long moment, Bruce was silent.
"Quit?" He finally asked.
"Trying to figure me out." The madman chuckled. "Psychoanalyze me and all of that."
"I'm just trying to…"
"Understand?" The Joker cut him short, voice mocking. "But only because it frightens you that you don't."
Again, Bruce fell silent, glaring at the smaller man, the familiar feeling of anger and frustration rising up in the pit of his stomach.
Trying to push it down.
His mouth fell open, ready to tell the Joker he was leaving, to remind him that they were to meet tomorrow night, at Gossards Park again, around midnight.
Refusing to play this game anymore…
But the lunatic's voice interrupted.
"But enough of that banality." He waved a dismissive hand. "It becomes tiresome Batsy, having to face it in near every loathsome wretch you encounter. So put such silly thoughts from your pretty little head, and let's focus on the now. Hmm? You're above such trivialities. You know the why of a thing doesn't matter. And anyway…"
He leaned forward, grin widening unnaturally large, until it appeared almost to be splitting the clown's face in half.
"It's nothing but a futile gesture darling, trying to get inside here."
He jammed his own index finger to his temple, eyes locked on Bruce with unnerving intensity, still leering.
And suddenly he stuck his thumb up.
"BANG!" He shouted, making like his hand was a gun, shooting himself in the side of the head.
And Bruce watched, both horrified and disgusted as the Joker fell backwards, dissolving into hysterical laughter, his arms wrapping round himself as though he were trying vainly to contain it.
After a moment, the crusader's mouth pulled into a severe frown, agitation quickly taking him.
And without a word, he turned, going quickly for the door.
The Joker shot upright, his laughter immediately ceasing.
"Don't go!" He nearly shouted to the vigilante's back, leaning forward.
But Bruce didn't stop, continuing towards the door.
It was less than an instant later, he heard a loud crash, the Joker falling off the bed and hitting the floor as he scrambled after the larger man, struggling to his feet.
"Hey, Batsy, come on now, don't go…" he continued to plead, stumbling across the floor.
Batman heard him again crash as he lost his footing, and now he paused, rolling his eyes.
He didn't know how it was the lunatic could at times be so elusive, so seemingly quick and agile, and at others, seem like the world's greatest klutz. Like a literal buffoon.
He waited a long moment, standing stiff, listening to the Joker shifting around, trying clumsily to get back to his feet again.
"Batsy…"
And finally he turned, gazing down at the madman, still splayed on the ground, staring up at him with wide eyes.
And Bruce actually had to suppress the urge to smile.
The Joker actually looked… desperate, almost.
"… don't go." He said, voice so soft, Batman almost hadn't heard it.
The vigilante's brow furrowed, crossing his arms over his broad chest, staring a long moment at the clown.
"Why do you so badly want for me to stay?" He finally asked, watching as the Joker pushed himself up, still crouched down like some frog, balancing on the balls of his feet, his elbows rested on his knees.
The Joker's eyes fell away, giving a shrug.
"'Cause I'm bored Batsy." He answered quietly. "… I could use the company."
His voice trailed off and Batman's eyes narrowed.
"Are you lonely Joker?" He asked, tone mocking, unable to help it.
Again the Joker shrugged.
"A little." He replied, and Bruce couldn't keep the shocked expression from his face.
He hadn't actually expected the Joker to admit it.
The madman's gaze lifted to him again, staring right at him.
"No more than you I suppose." He went on, at last standing. "But then, that's part of why we're so drawn to each other, isn't it dear?"
He smiled, winking.
Bruce frowned.
Jesus, he hated that.
He hated how the Joker always reversed everything on you. How even when you thought you'd talked him into a corner, a few, choice words, and suddenly it was you you found with your back to the wall.
But it was fast the smile melted from the madman's lips, his expression falling serious, and he sighed loudly, shoulders slumping as he turned, moving back towards the bed.
Bruce watched as he flopped down on it, lying his head down across the pillow, folding the backs of his hands over his eyes.
"If you want to go, by all means, do." He went on. "But you'll be missing a good opportunity to keep an eye on me."
A long moment went by, the crusader waiting to see if he would say anything else.
And then his head cocked to the side.
"Is that a threat Joker?" He asked.
That elicited a sharp peel of laughter from the lunatic, his hands still over his eyes.
"Oh ho, Batman, so defensive!" He grinned. "I'm only appealing to your moral standard. I can hardly account for myself buttercup, and am simply informing that, were someone with me capable of holding my interest, it might greatly lessen the chance of my beginning to wander about."
His hands fell away, his face turning towards the larger man, smiling warmly.
"And besides, you don't really want to go, do you? I mean, it's so cold out there…"
"It's cold in here Joker." Bruce retorted, his voice pitched in more annoyance than he'd intended.
"But not as cold Batsy." The Joker informed.
And suddenly he pushed himself up.
"Come on. Stay with me!" He continued to beg. And now he was folding his hands together against his chest, sitting up on his knees. "Pretty please, with sugar and raspberries and syrup and tuna fish and whipped cream and raisons and chocolate and peanuts and apple slices and cereal and…"
"ALRIGHT!"
The Joker flinched, falling backwards.
Batman frowned deeply.
"Alright?" The madman asked.
Bruce could feel his teeth clench, his voice coming begrudgingly.
"Alright, I'll stay." He muttered.
"You'll stay?" The Joker again asked.
"I just said alright! Didn't I?" The detective snapped.
And he already was regretting it as he watched the wide grin form across the Joker's red lips, pulling back over his piano key teeth.
Regretting it more as, in a flash, he was up off the bed, practically leaping at Bruce. And he fell across the larger man, his arms coming around his neck, hugging him tight.
"Ohhh, we're going to have so much fun!" He nearly squealed with excitement.
Bruce felt an abrupt shot of anger, not even thinking as he reached up, grabbing hard hold of the Joker's wrists, pulling his arms off and shoving him away with enough force to cause the lunatic lose his footing.
His insides clenched, watching how easily the madman went down, the back of his head hitting and snapping against the floor as he collapsed.
Damn it…
He hadn't meant to push him so hard…
He didn't even think he had.
"Joker!" He exclaimed, stepping towards him.
But the Joker only began to giggle, trying to roll over onto his hands and knees, crumpling a second later.
"Wooo, hoo, hoo, playing rough, are we?" He asked, still laughing. "Heehee, ev… everything's all dizzy now!"
"Joker, I didn't mean to…" Bruce was kneeling beside him suddenly, reaching out, taking him under the arms.
"Oh, it's… it's not so bad Batsy…" the lunatic continued to giggle. "I'll be alright in a minute."
Trying to get up again, and he fell right into the crusader, only laughing harder as his face fell against his chest.
"Don't get up." Batman ordered, trying to ignore the feeling of guilt building in his stomach. "Just sit here a minute."
The Joker continued to chuckle.
"Aww, Batsy, you care!" He said, still against the detective.
"I don't care Joker." Batman shot. "I just didn't mean to push you so hard."
"You care." The Joker countered smoothly. "It's always been your greatest weakness. And the thing that most frustrates too." He laughed again, finally looking up.
Bruce's mouth pulled into a thin line, staring back, saying nothing.
Deciding again to ignore the comment, and not engage.
Jousting verbally with this man only ever landed him in hot water.
"Are you still dizzy?" He asked instead.
The smaller man shook his head, grinning.
"On the scale of blows I've taken to the back of the head sweetheart, this one doesn't even register." He giggled. "But it's kind of you to ask."
A moment past.
"Even though you caused it…" He added, smiling.
Bruce frowned.
"Shut up and come on." He replied, taking hold of the clown, beginning slowly to lift him up.
For an instant, the Joker swayed, seeming like he would fall again, and the crusader's grip on him tightened.
"Are you okay?" He asked hastily.
"Ohhh, heehee, I think maybe, hee… maybe that tumble I took off that roof last night is making it worse, haha…"
"What?" Batman asked, alarmed, looking down at the Joker as he leaned heavily against him, hand buried in his cape, his other brought up to his forehead. "You fell off a roof?"
The Joker nodded, still giggling, as though it were the funniest thing in the world.
"How?" The crusader pushed.
"Oh, you know," the Joker said. "roof hopping."
"Roof hopping?"
"Mmm, hmm." The Joker replied, finally seeming to regain his equilibrium. "I misjudged the distance between these two, particular points, I'm afraid and, whoops, just went crashing down. Lucky for me there was a big old snow drift to break my fall, huh?"
For a moment, Bruce only stared back at him, expression incredulous, before finally he shook his head.
"What the hell is wrong with you?" He asked.
"I think you've asked me that before babe."
Bruce sighed, rolling his eyes up.
"Let's just… get you over here." He at last relented, beginning to walk with the lunatic back to his bed.
"But I'm not sleepy yet." The Joker protested, beginning to push back on his heels.
"You don't have to go to sleep!" Batman snapped impatiently. "Just sit down. You might have a concussion. Did you hit your head last night when you fell?"
The madman continued to fight only a moment more before it seemed to register to him what the crusader had said, and his body relaxed, letting himself be brought forward.
His brow furrowed as Bruce helped him down.
"… I don't know." He answered.
"You don't know?"
The Joker's head shook.
"How can you not know if you hit your head last night or not?"
"Well that tends to be something you forget dear, if in fact it occurred." The Joker grinned.
Batman's lips pulled down.
"Did you black out?" He asked.
"No."
"Were you dizzy when you got back up?"
"Probably."
"Probably?"
"Well I don't know Bats!" The Joker spat, growing annoyed. "I stumbled out of the alleyway I fell into and the next thing I knew, I was taking the heads off of parking meters!"
Batman's eyes widened, unable to keep the disbelief from his features.
"That was you?" He asked, remembering coming across Baker street last night in his search for the madman, seeing all the parking meters vandalized.
He'd thought at the time it must have been a bunch of delinquents, having a laugh.
"Oh, so you saw?" The Joker smiled excitedly up at him. "I think they look much better with their heads off. Don't you? I mean, the concept of having to pay to park is simply scandalous! Yes?"
The detective said nothing, glaring at him.
The Joker shrugged, leaning back against the wall, beginning to pick absently at his nails.
"Well I think I'm providing a service to the good citizens of Gotham Batman. Heh. I mean, all it takes to encourage people into breaking the law is for someone to do it for them first. They'll say to themselves 'Gee willikers, if there's no parking meters, then I don't have to pay the fine!'. They think because there's no way for them to pay, they won't get in trouble. And if they don't think they'll get in trouble, then they have no qualms about breaking the rules. See how that works? People need someone to stand up for them in these trying times dear."
For a long moment, Bruce said nothing.
"… You can't possibly believe that Joker." He finally stated.
The Joker assumed a confused expression.
"… Why not?" He asked.
"Because!" Bruce shot. "You can't possibly think you're helping people!"
The smaller man's brow furrowed, a vague frown pulling down along his lips.
"Well of course I can darling!" He replied. "What a silly thing to say."
"Joker, you've killed people." The vigilante said, voice thick with disgust. "It's absolutely delusional to think you help them in any way."
And it was for the first time that evening, Batman watched the Joker's face pull in actual annoyance, his mouth setting in a hard line.
"You're the one living a delusion Batman." He said, voice sharp and clipped. "Thinking you're helping them by delaying the inevitable. Giving them false hope."
His eyes narrowed, glaringly angrily.
"I'm just helping them to let go Bruce. Helping them to accept it, so it doesn't hurt so terribly when everything goes bad."
The two men's gazes fixed, hard on one another a long moment, the Joker's lips still pulled in a displeased expression. Before, as instantly as it had come, it melted away, into an again unaffected smile.
"It's you I want to help most of all darling." He continued, tone suddenly light. "Who I try hardest with." He chuckled lightly. "Well, since you're the only one really worth helping."
"Your kind of help, I could do without." Bruce finally replied, looking away, his eyes falling lazily over the tiny apartment.
"Ah HA! So you admit I'm helping!" The Joker exclaimed triumphantly.
Batman's eyes went bigger, turning back.
"What? No!" He shot. "I just meant…"
The madman was staring at him with a wide, expectant gaze, looking like some demented child on Christmas day, ready to open his presents.
The crusader frowned.
"Gahh!" He growled in frustration. "Never mind!"
The lunatic had a way of twisting everything to fit his agenda.
The Joker pouted.
"Aww, don't be sore Bat-babe. Here, I've got an idea!"
Suddenly he was pushing himself from the mattress, and Bruce watched, bemused, as he dropped down to his knees, half crawling under the bed, his long, skinny legs sticking out from beneath.
A moment later, and he was crawling back out, dragging a stack of what looked like bored games with him, taking them up in his arms and turning, falling over onto his bottom.
He grinned up at the vigilante.
"I have entertainment!" He enthused.
For a long, few seconds, Bruce stared at him, before his gaze fell to the bored games, supported along the Joker's forearms.
"Come on Batsy! It'll be fun!" The smaller man went on, laying the games down along the floor. "Look, I'll even let you choose! We've got…"
And he started un-stacking them.
"Monopoly, The Game of Life, heh, Uno, Scrabble, Mousetrap, ohh, I really like Mousetrap! Risk. Battle master…"
Again he looked up at Bruce, grinning.
"So, which'll it be?"
The detective glared a moment, saying nothing, the madman sitting patiently, waiting.
Bruce wasn't getting into this again.
Not this.
"Well?" The Joker finally pressed.
"I don't know how to play any of those…" Batman waved towards the laid out games dismissively.
"Oh, don't lie to me Batman. You never were any good at it." The Joker was fast to counter.
Batman could feel his teeth grind in annoyance, fists clenching.
"And anyway…" the madman went on. "they're all easy enough to learn. You'll pick up on it as you go." He smiled sweetly. "I'll teach you! If you really don't know."
Batman glared.
"Joker, I'm not playing any more… games with you." He went on insisting, unable to keep the edge from his voice.
The Joker smiled coyly, eyes narrowing.
"You aren't afraid, are you dear?" He asked after a moment.
"What?" Bruce hissed, turning more fully towards him.
"Really babe, you shouldn't be." The Joker continued as though he hadn't heard him. "This isn't like chess. There's luck over talent involved here. So, your chances of winning are improved!"
Immediately, Bruce felt the anger boil up inside him, trying to press it down.
"Why are you so obnoxious?" He hissed, voice clipped.
"I'm not." The lunatic replied calmly. "You only think I am because you know I'm right and you don't like what I'm saying."
"No," Batman countered. "you're the most annoying human being I've ever met."
The Joker shrugged.
"Whatever you say darling." He grinned. "Now, let's play!"