CHAPTER 10
(CUT to Washington DC, where the terrorist-garbed Jaeger shoots its giant Kalashnikov at American tanks. CUT to the side of the jaeger, where a painted inscription on its foot says "MADE IN DETROIT". It would actually look pretty American, too, if it wasn't trying to destroy America. CUT inside, where TAHIL and MR. KENADID pilot the jaeger.)
TAHIL: What do you think we should call it?
MR. KENADID: I'd call it Final Caliph. It is appropriate, yes?
TAHIL: God's chosen king, destined to rule the earth.
MR. KENADID: Far greater than ourselves.
TAHIL: May it strike down those who oppose it…
MR. KENADID: And relinquish the world of profanity.
TAHIL: Amen.
MR. KENADID: Amen. (They make a punching motion. CUT to outside: the FINAL CALIPH has punched a helicopter out of the sky. CUT back inside.)
TAHIL: That's what I think of your country.
(CUT to a sailor on one of the ships in a Chinese warfleet, off the coast of a large landmass. A massive monster is in the distance, moving closer.)
BUTTERFACE (in the distance) Bletttth!
(CUT inside one of the ships, where sailors are loading artillery pieces. Many of them are reminiscent of the energy and artillery cannons used by Jaegers in the first movie. These ain't your daddy's battleships.)
COMMANDER: (in Chinese) Fire the artillery!
(CUT back outside. Missiles and energy blasts launch towards the kaiju, which scrambles like a lizard towards the ships fearlessly.)
BUTTERFACE: Blettttthhhh!
(CUT back to the sailor, who is staring at the creature fearfully.)
(CUT to SARAH, HUI, and the SOLDIERS, watching the commencing battle from the top of the now-shattered Manila Shatterdome.)
HUI: What are they doing?
SARAH: (looking through the binoculars) Yeah, what's their angle?
VERGARA: I bet they want to destroy the Kaiju and take the credit for themselves.
HUI: They'll probably want to arrest us afterwards, too.
SARAH: Those pricks.
(CUT to BUTTERFACE, who, moving at full speed, nears the battleships. It's crossed the distance in a few moments, at most. CUT to the decks of one of the ships. The sailor looks up at this voraciously faceless motherfucker who's sprung out of some kind of Freudian wet dream and scrambles below decks, like a child hiding under the covers. CUT to a full view of the battleship; it fires again, almost protectively. CUT to BUTTERFACE; the creature, noticeably blind, screeches a chorus of agony and trots towards the battleship.)
BUTTERFACE: Blatttthhhhhhh!
(CUT away. The monster grabs both ends of the battleship with its mouths, and impales the center. This weighs down its horn, and the gigantic steel battleship, still impaled by the kaiju collapses into the water with a tremendous spash. The thick metal plates that hold the warship together are shredded like tissue paper as the kaiju rips its horn upward, out of the sinking battleship; one realizes how little six feet of steel means to a monster this huge.
CUT to the largest of the Chinese ships, which almost looks like a jaeger in warship form. CUT inside it to see one of the EASTERN BUSINESSMEN in military garb, commanding the fighting. These guys are clearly renaissance in their pervasion of Chinese politics.)
EB4: (in Mandarin) It's distracted! Fire the broadside cannons!
SAILOR: (in Mandarin) But our comrades are out there!
EB4: (in Mandarin) They're already dead, soldier! Now fire, or so will we!
(CUT outside. Dozens of cannon fire energy blasts at the momentarily distracted Kaiju. Many also fire from the other direction.)
BUTTERFACE: Blatatctth! (Bleeding holes have been ripped though its body, but they are small.) Bratttatatcttatch! (It submerges, almost gracefully. CUT to SARAH. She takes down her binoculars.)
SARAH: That's weird. Where did it go?
(CUT back inside the massive battleship.)
EB4: (in Mandarin) It's gone! What's the radar say?
SAILOR: (in Mandarin) It doesn't say anything.
EB4: (in Mandarin) What? What's going on?
SAILOR: (in Mandarin) There's no signature! I don't know, sir!
EB4: (in Mandarin) How do you lose something forty stories tall!?
SAILOR: (in Mandarin) I don't think it wants to be found!
EB4: (in Mandarin) Shit. (He pauses.) There's nothing we can do about that. (He pauses again.) If anyone asks, it ran away. Move into the harbor, we have work to do.
(CUT back to SARAH)
SARAH: It's gone. They're coming into the harbor.
VERGARA: Well then.
HUI: (grinning) How many bombs have we got?
(BZZZT: A video begins to play. An ANNOUNCER speaks to a cheering crowd of people representing every country.)
ANNOUNCER: Welcome to beautiful Korea!
(Everyone cheers. CUT to two animated children, a boy and a girl, working on machinery)
ANNOUNCER: While the world has fallen to the monsters, we have stood tall, and fought for freedom!
(CUT to the children's finished creation; a mighty kaiju that dwarfs their chibi stature by perhaps fifteen times over. It rises, and punches two monsters as they rise out of the sea.)
ANNOUNCER: But the world grows dark once more, and people have grown frivolous and wasteful in the meantime.
(CUT to the children again; the boy is listening to music on what appears to be a Walkman, while the girl is reading a book with a cross on the cover. They look up, as if to say "Who, me?")
ANNOUNCER: Yes, I'm talking to you! You, watching this, right now! Are you doing enough?
(The children nod vigorously)
ANNOUNCER: You, little boy! What have you done for the motherland today!
(The chibi child thinks, and makes a little thought bubble. It shows everything he as done today, with a small analog clock in the bottom corner of the imagined day.
8:00: woke up- the sun has been up for quite a while outside the window. It has a sad face, because the little boy is very lazy.
9:00: ate a pile of oatmeal that towered high above his head
10:00: at school, he neglects his studies
11:00: on the playground, he says curse words with his friends)
ANNOUNCER: Do you understand what you take from the Dear Leader when you do these things?
(A picture flashes above the children's heads, of the Dear Leader Kim Jong-Un next to a picture of First Lady KIM VIKTORIYA SERAFINA. The picture is the same size, but noticeably zoomed in on her face and chest. The children look up, and respectfully nod to the camera.)
ANNOUNCER: What have you done for the motherland today?
(Zoom out to see that it's a television in RICKY and RALEIGH's bar. RALEIGH downs a drink.)
RALEIGH: That's my sixth.
RICKY: Awesome.
BARTENDER: (noticing that RICKY has finished.) Viva la revolución!
(A crowd bursts in, waving North Korean flags and small arms.)
CROWD: Viva la revolución!
RALEIGH: I was not expecting it to be like this.
SECRET SERVICE GUY: This is very weird.
RICKY: Don't worry guys. It's all totally part of the plan. (He opens the box of weapons) You guys want guns? Take a gun! Everybody gets a gun!
NORTH KOREAN GUY IN BUSINESS SUIT: Thanks very much!
RICKY: You're welcome! We're going to arm these guys.
(RALEIGH looks out the window. The number of revolutionaries seems to be growing as people gain interest.)
RICKY: And now we just follow them to Pyongyang. I'm a genius, I know.
RALEIGH: (picking up a gun.) Do...do these shoot acid lasers?
RICKY: You said I could just take the secretest ones.
RALEIGH: I...I just had no idea that was possible.
(CUT to KIM VIKTORIYA SERAFINA, in Pyongyang, in front of monitors displaying many of the EASTERN BUSINESSMEN.)
VIKTORIYA: (in Mandarin) I've received word of foreign incursions onto my husband's soil. We request assistance before they rabble-rouse the public.
EB2: May any insurrection be crushed.