A/N: sorry for the long wait. I've had the chapter written up for a while, and I probably should've posted it before, but I wanted to get a few other fanfics out of the way first... Anyway, enjoy!

Everything is still and silent. The dorms lie cloaked in darkness. Behind every door, bodies breathe peacefully under layers of blankets. Every door but one.

Kiku sits up for the fifth time that night with a loud sigh. No matter what he tries, he can't seem to fall asleep.

For days he's been plagued with a faint sense of uneasiness. Not surprisingly, it started when he saw Elizabeta following Arthur. Since then, he's been stressed and nervous for no apparent reason. The only cure seems to be time spent with Alfred. The man's outgoing nature and boisterous laugh put Kiku at ease.

He throws back the covers and stands up. Maybe a bit of flying will make him sleepier.

Kiku changes his shirt and sneaks out. Standing under the moon and stars, he lets his wings pop out. He takes off.

Flying at night is one of the things Kiku enjoys the most. Observing the earth from above, when everything is quiet.

Everything seems so simple and faraway when he's up here. The commotion and stress of life fall away with the wind. He feels the cool caress of the midnight air. His cheeks fill with colour and crinkle from smiling. His deep brown eyes reflect the stars.

Kiku's mind goes through different topics, flicking through them like a fish. He thinks consciously, sentences forming in his brain rather than thoughts occurring. He finds his train of thought drifting to Elizabeta.

I wonder how things are between her and Roderich. He muses to himself. She clearly loves him. The day I left, I'm fairly certain they kissed. I hope everything works out for them.

It's strange how we could be on the same mission. Perhaps it's some test we have to take before advancing, and it must be done alone. Yes, that might be it.

Maybe it's a big test, and angels from all over are assigned to this area. There's the obvious signs of the vitamin being administered to the Vargas brothers, but it is only a question of whether their respective partners have been given a dose as well. Whoever has the assignment, I'd like to meet this angel.

Speaking- thinking- of assignments, I really need to knuckle down and finish mine. A frown crosses Kiku's face as he thinks this. I'm not quite sure why, but it repulses me to think of this mission.

That was a lie. I know why I don't want to go through with this mission, I just don't know how it happened.

Kiku comes to rest on the top of a building. Alfred is his friend. Kiku tries not to get involved with anyone in missions, but somehow this person has dragged him in and opened him up. Opened him to the joys of robbing people of steaks, spontaneous dancing, strange food and loud rock music. Unconsciously, he grins as he thinks of this. Alfred. Alfred F. Jones. Dirty blond hair, eyes blue as the skies. And Kiku's seen a lot of the skies.

And then, unbidden, an image forms in Kiku's mind. Alfred taking his hands. Alfred brushing dark strands of hair away from his face. Alfred leaning in. And those lips, those light pink, often cracked lips against his.

Kiku's eyes fly open. He takes an uneasy step forward, then trips over the edge of the building.

I'm falling. He thinks vaguely as the air rushes past him. Falling fast.

Two feet from the ground, he remembers he has wings and flaps them. He still lands rather hard, though.

The sight of blood on his scraped palms revives him from his stupor. He shakes himself, then struggles to his feet.

This can't be happening. Did I really just let myself think about that?

And yet, Kiku isn't really that surprised. Perhaps he should have even seen it coming. He's had these secret, unaddressed feelings for weeks. It may have been subconsciously, but that's why he kept messing up on the mission. If he truly wanted the mission to succeed, it would have.

Enough about the mission. It makes Kiku queasy to think of Alfred and Arthur together now. For a moment, he lets that blissful image enter his mind once more, then it's gone.

What does this mean? A thousand doubts, worries, and fears are clouding Kiku's mind. What will happen to me if I complete the mission in spite of my feelings? And what if I don't do it? What about Elizabeta? And Roderich? And what would happen if I just couldn't help it?

Kiku knows the answer to the last question. If he acted on his feelings, Alfred would reject him, God would find out and smite him. He would fall from Heaven, and have to live a mortal life full of fear and guilt. Death is not what he's afraid of, it's dying and going to hell.

He buries his head in his hands, tears pricking his eyes. This isn't allowed. It's a sin. I'm an angel. He's a human. I can't even think he's attractive. I can't even think it!

After a few moments, Kiku sniffles and wipes his eyes. He doesn't know what time it is, but he should be getting back. He could use some sleep. Not that he'll be getting much after this revelation.

-oooo-

Kiku sighs. He's all alone in the college library's quiet study room- all alone except for his notes. They lie there on the table, seeming to taunt him with their headings of Alfred and Arthur.

All Kiku really needs right now is quiet. He couldn't look Alfred in the face after his realization. He didn't talk to him in business, he didn't eat lunch with his group. He gave halfhearted excuses when Alfred asked what was wrong and avoided his gaze. And when Alfred gave up and started blasting music, he couldn't take it any longer.

He stands up, pushing his rather uncomfortable chair back. As he's stretching, the door opens to reveal Matthew.

"Hello, Kiku." He says pleasantly, closing the door behind him. "Studying?"

"Yes." Kiku replies, shutting his notebook. Matthew has a textbook under one arm, but other than that he doesn't have any study materials, not even a pencil.

"Empty rooms are ideal for studying." Matthew continues, setting down the textbook. Perhaps he's just trying to make conversation, but Kiku is unnerved. Something about his tone sends a shiver up Kiku's back. "Empty rooms are ideal for many things."

Kiku's about to sit back down when Matthew flies at him, grabbing his wrists and pinning him to the wall.

"Alright, listen." Matthew speaks quietly, but menacingly. He glares at Kiku, normally soft eyes flashing. Kiku tries to free himself from Matthew's grip, but he holds tight. "I know there's something going on here. You're not a college student. I don't know what you're here for, but I know it has something to do with my brother. I want to know the reason. So either you tell me what the fuck is going on, or I make you."

Kiku's mouth hangs open. "Is that a threat?" He blurts.

"I'll let you think about it." Matthew says meaningfully. He releases Kiku, letting him slump against the wall as he grabs his textbook and leaves.

Kiku stumbles away from the wall, breathing heavily. He can feel his wings inside his back, moving around. With a deep breath, he stills them, then promptly falls into a chair.

That was close.