74th Hunger Games Challenge: We Always Were
By: Jamie Sommers
Chapter Ten: Let the Games Begin!
WOW! These chapters are long! Lots of POV's. During the Games there will be tons of POV's. Gale's, Cinna's, Haymitch's, Effie's...Everybody's watching, right? Anyway... In this chapter, Katniss reacts to the interview. Gale figures some things out and Peeta does something he's been dying to do. Once again, thank you A! Trust me when I say, without A, you'd be reading a mass confusion of words!
74th Hunger Game Challenge!
Katniss followed the line of tributes off of the stage. She stayed focused on the broad back of the boy from District 11 walking in front of her. Her teeth were clenched. Her jaw tight. Her hands were in rigid little balls. Her body language screamed anger, but her face, her eyes cried out in sorrow. The crowd backstage appeared out of nowhere. She felt a hand on her arm. Her first thought was that it was Peeta, but the hand was covered in a lace glove.
"You were wonderful, darling. Wonderful." Effie put her arm around Katniss' back and led her towards a door. "This way."
"Great job, sweetheart." Haymitch made his way through the crowd to congratulate her. He stopped for a second and then looked past her. "Great job," he said as he walked away.
Katniss tried to see where he was going but Effie kept ushering her towards the exit. She scanned the crowd and saw Cinna in the distance, who gave her a thumb's up. Portia smiled and made a little applauding motion. When Effie saw the pair she immediately headed towards them. Katniss was herded into the Training Center lobby along with the other tributes and eventually made it onto the elevators. As the doors closed she saw the tributes from District 2 look in her direction and laugh. She tried to keep her emotions in check as four of her competitors joined her on the ride up. Anger started to bubble deep within the pit of her core. Frustration. Confusion. Betrayal. By the time the elevator emptied out, she had worked herself up into a silent frenzy. When the doors to the elevator opened up onto her floor the object of her thoughts walked passed her. Peeta!
"What the hell was that?!" Katniss turned him around forcefully, by the shoulder, so he could face her. He obviously wasn't expecting it and he lost his balance which caused him to crash into a crystal vase full of flowers.
Katniss stood over him and looked down trying to register what just happened. What she had just done. When it finally hit her she said, "Oh my God, Peeta. I'm sorry." She reached down and started to lift him up. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to…"
"It's okay…uuhh…" Peeta grimaced as he put pressure on his hand to stand up.
"What happened?" Effie stepped off of the elevator with the rest of the group in her wake.
"I fell." Peeta looked up at her from a sitting position on the ground.
"No you didn't. I pushed you." Katniss' wondered why Peeta was trying to make up an excuse for her. He only made up excuses when his mother hurt him. The thought took Katniss back. She felt like someone let the air out of her lungs.
"You didn't push me, Katniss."
"You're bleeding all over the carpeting!" Cried Effie.
Katniss stared at Peeta's bloody hand wondering what she had just done. She wasn't supposed to hurt Peeta. His mother did that. Katniss kissed his bruises…kissed his pain away. She didn't cause his pain.
Haymitch gave Peeta a helping hand and lifted him off of the ground. "So why'd you push him?"
"She didn't push me," corrected Peeta.
"Yes I did." Katniss said absentmindedly.
"You didn't push me."
"Let me look at this," Portia made her way over and started to take care of Peeta's injuries. She guided him to the sofa. "Effie, I'll need something to stop this bleeding." There were no attendants in the suite.
"So…you were getting ready to yell at me," Peeta said to Katniss in a very sweet voice.
"No. I wasn't." Katniss looked over at the damage she had caused to Peeta's hand and saw Portia remove a piece of glass. She heard Peeta suck in a breath between clenched teeth. Katniss had barely moved from her spot since the incident occurred.
"Yes you were." Peeta chuckled. "Go ahead. Yell. Tell me why you're mad."
"I'm not mad." Katniss turned away from the scene and looked straight ahead. Her voice was trembling. Her eyes and face were stone.
"Yes you are. You're pissed as hell, Katniss."
Cinna put his hand on Katniss shoulder and said quietly in her ear, "Katniss? Are you okay?"
The witch hurt Peeta. Not me, thought Katniss. I'm not supposed to do that to him and now he's bleeding because of me.
"Katniss!" Peeta called her name. Trying his best to snap her out of her thoughts.
"What?" She turned to Peeta. "What?" She said softer.
"Yell, Katniss. Scream." Peeta insisted. "Come on." He pleaded "I need something to take my mind off of this." Peeta gave her a painful grin. "Please?"
She looked at Peeta. At Haymitch…Effie. Everyone seemed to be questioning her with their eyes. Katniss had questions to ask too, she thought. Katniss had so many questions to ask Peeta, but a lot of them were private. Things she didn't want everyone to know. There was one thing she had to…no…needed to know, but that was before. Now…
"Katniss?" Peeta kept trying to pull her focus.
"I'm sorry I pushed you." Katniss got the apology out, but there was still so much going on inside of her mind. There were too many emotions rushing through her. She didn't know how to handle them. She knew she had to snap out of this stupor she was starting to fall into.
"For the last time. You didn't push me! I tripped. I tripped, Katniss." Peeta called to her again and said, "Are you listening to me?" When she finally turned her face to his, he said, "Tributes aren't allowed to push each other. That's breaking the rules. You wouldn't break the rules, would you, Katniss?"
The rules? Katniss didn't care about the rules. She cared about what had happened to his hand. What had been happening between them for the past few days? She cared about the tributes from District 2 laughing at her as she stepped onto the elevator. "Why did you say that tonight, Peeta? Why did you tell them that you've had feelings for me? Do you know how that made me look?" She didn't know where the question came from, but she needed to know the answer.
"I know exactly how you looked, Katniss." Peeta answered.
"You made me look weak tonight, Peeta." Earlier she would've yelled this at him. He was right about that, but now her voice was filled with anguish. "You made me look weak."
"He made you look desirable, sweetheart," said Haymitch.
Katniss gave her mentor an empty stare and turned her attention back to Peeta when he said, "She doesn't need my help with that."
Katniss gave Peeta a look of inquiry as if saying, 'what's that supposed to mean?' Katniss hadn't been wearing a see through dress like Garnet or Shimmer or whatever District 1's name was. She hadn't hiked her skirt up to the middle of her calves like District 2 did.
"And why did you say I didn't notice you until the reaping?" Portia bandaged up Peeta's hand and he walked into the bar area to pour a drink. He was ignoring her and Katniss didn't like it. "I asked you a question." She could feel it now. Feel what she had felt in the elevator.
"I heard you," Peeta said, disregarding the question entirely.
"Then answer me," Frustration was starting to build back up within Katniss' system. "Why did you say that?" Her voice was starting to rise.
"Because I can sell the star crossed lovers of District 12!" Haymitch yelled from across the room.
Katniss turned on her heels and said, "But we're not star crossed lovers! We're…"
"It's a television show!" Haymitch interrupted her before she could say anything more.
Cinna walked up to Katniss and took her by the shoulders. "He's right, Katniss. Peeta helped you tonight."
Katniss turned and surveyed the room. Everyone but Peeta was looking at her.
"Katniss, the sponsors are going to eat this up." Haymitch threw his hands up in the air and said, "You're all they're talking about! Geez! The kid did you a favor!"
She looked over her shoulder at Peeta. His back was still to her. Thoughts were flying through her mind. Will sponsors really fall for this? What's Peeta drinking? Will the other tributes even care about this? I wonder if Gale was watching. The witch is going to punish Peeta for falling in love with someone from the Seam. Star crossed lovers? Had Peeta and Haymitch been planning this the entire time? Everything is not as it appears. Isn't that what Cinna had said? Katniss looked around the room again, taking in everyone's expression.
Cinna was squeezing her shoulders, reassuringly and nodding his head.
Haymitch gave her a look then raised his eyebrows at her as if saying, 'get it now?'
Effie's face had guilt written all over it.
Portia couldn't make eye contact with her and kept looking at different spots on the floor.
They had all been planning this from the very start. Effie and Haymitch's late night meeting. Peeta's message sent through Cinna. Portia…she was his stylist. She had to know. And Peeta…her Peeta had gone along with all of it to save her life. To get her much needed sponsors. He gave up what little time they had left just to play a role in the Games.
Katniss looked at him as he stood with his one good hand resting on the bar. His shoulders slumped over. She quietly called his name, "Peeta?"
"Don't worry, Katniss." His voice sounded distant. "You didn't say you loved me too, so you're not the one that looks weak… I do." He drank the rest of his drink and said, "I'm going to change for dinner." He walked to his room without looking back.
…..
…..
Peeta stared at the crowd gathered in the street below him, but he didn't see people, he didn't hear their chanting or their cheers. All he saw was the beautiful colors splashed before his eyes. Shades of cheerful pink. Bursts of sunny yellow. Greens that ranged from bright neon to deep as a pine tree's needles. Behind him were the gentle tings of the wind chimes, ringing out a melody with every current of air.
He had tried to sleep, but it didn't come. There was too much on his mind.
He felt horrible after making that comment to Katniss. He shouldn't have drunk the whiskey that Haymitch was so fond of. It burned when it went down and after draining half a glass of the stuff, Peeta had felt like his head was in a daze. When he sat down to eat dinner his hand started bleeding again. He saw the guilt on Katniss' face. He wanted to tell her it wasn't her fault, but he was afraid to open his mouth again for fear that he might say something stupid. Somehow Portia had gotten a hold of some medicine from the medical center located on the lower levels and she assured him that the cut would be gone by morning. The moment she had put it on his hand, he had felt relief.
After Portia had fixed up his hand Haymitch had taken him upstairs to the roof. "Why don't we get a breath of fresh air before the recaps?"
Peeta followed his mentor, knowing that this would be the last opportunity they'd have to speak in private before the Games began.
They faced each other and spoke in hushed tones.
"You ready for this?" Peeta knew Haymitch was asking him about the arena.
"What do you think?"
"Look. The one thing the Careers are notorious for is predictability. Just stick to the plan and everything will work out." Haymitch gave Peeta a crafty smile. "You did good tonight, kid. The sponsors are already asking about the two of you."
Peeta knew they'd be intrigued. "Good. Now all you have to do is get them to spend their money."
"I can do that. You and Katniss should be…"
Peeta stopped Haymitch by putting a hand on his chest. "You and I are going to make a new deal."
"A new deal? I've already stayed fairly sober, boy." Haymitch gave Peeta a look of warning.
"Don't try and compare your alcohol with Katniss, because that's what I've given up. I gave up her and the little time I had with her, so yeah…you and me…we've got a new deal." Peeta stared Haymitch down. "And this is how it's going to go." Peeta told Haymitch what he wanted and watched as his mentor's eyes flashed with pain. Peeta held his hand out to him and said, "Shake on it." Haymitch put his hand in Peeta's. "Now, swear it."
"I swear on my life, kid."
"Sorry, that's not good enough. You don't hold yourself in very high regards. Swear on hers. Swear on Katniss' life." Peeta knew he had Haymitch the second he said that. The look on Haymitch's face told him exactly how much Katniss had come to mean to him over the past few days. Peeta waited for Haymitch's reply. He felt the man's hand quake within his own and then squeeze.
"Okay, kid. I swear on her life."
When they sat down to watch the recap of the interviews, Peeta's heart fluttered, like it did the first time he heard Katniss talk about eating lamb stew with him during her interview. He wanted to grab her right then and there and drag her away from all of the craziness that was about to be forced upon them. To run as far away as possible. He was in awe as he watched her spin in her dress. It was so unlike her. She had done everything right during her interview. She was perfect in every way. Peeta's own interview had been the icing on Katniss' cake. Haymitch was right. The Capitol was eating up their whole star crossed lovers bit. Effie had gone downstairs for a little while prior to dinner and when she came back up she reported back to Haymitch. All anyone was talking about were the pair of tributes from District 12.
Peeta continued to stare at the crowd of people below him, wishing he had some paints…a sketchpad…anything to take his mind off of the events that occurred earlier in the evening.
"They look like a flock of freakish birds."
Peeta jumped a little at the sound of Katniss' voice. "You think?"
"Don't you?"
"Actually," he looked over his shoulder at her and said, "I was thinking it would be pretty neat to paint them. Look at all the colors." He began pointing out the people in the street. "See how they're all mixed about? It'd be pretty on a canvas, don't you think?"
Katniss walked closer to the edge of the roof and looked at the scene then looked at Peeta. "How do you do that?"
"Do what?" He turned to her.
"That…thing? Where you…I don't know. It's like…all I see are a bunch of people from the Capitol having a party because tomorrow twenty four of us are going to fight to the death. And you see…" She stared into his eyes and he felt a surge of warmth run through him. "You see a work of art."
"Actually, I see both." Katniss' features were soft and comforting. He wanted to reach out and touch her. To hold her, but he didn't know where he stood with her anymore.
Katniss shook her head and said, "You've always seen the good in people, Peeta." She placed her fingertips on the edge of the roof, just inches away from the force field, and stared up at the moon. "I just wish I knew what you saw in me."
He stepped behind her and spoke softly. "There's so much good inside of you, Katniss. Everybody sees it." He turned her by the shoulders and said, "Want to know what I wish? I wish you'd see that for yourself."
They took in each other's moonlit features. Both of them wanting to apologize for their actions earlier in the evening. Both of them too afraid to do so.
"So, I take it you couldn't sleep either?" Peeta asked, breaking the tension that had been building up between them.
"Not really."
"Thinking about your family?"
Katniss' face twisted as she answered. "Would you still think I was a good person if I said no?"
Peeta chuckled and said, "Of course I would. What were you thinking about?"
"You. The arena." She looked away from him and said, "Everything that's happened over the past few days…earlier tonight."
Peeta wasn't sure what to do. Was she angry with him? The expression on her face was deadpan. She was inches away from him, but he didn't dare reach out to her for fear that she would pull away. If she had done that, he would be crushed. In a few short hours they were going to be in the arena and who knows what would happen. Peeta could be dead within seconds of the start of the Games. He couldn't let it end this way. He had to explain himself. He had to tell her why he had been acting so oddly the past few days. He looked around the roof and realized that even if they went to the wind chime area, the Capitol would still be able to see them. They'd see everything. He was surprised they had gotten away with their ruse so far considering he'd kissed her only a few nights ago. Then again, he did cover during his interview by saying he wasn't very good at hiding his feelings. Who cares, Peeta? He told himself. You've told all of Panem that you love her. Isn't it time you said it to Katniss? He took her hand and led her to the wind chime area of the garden.
…..
…..
Katniss could see the blood dripping from Peeta's hand onto his dinner plate from behind closed eyes. She pulled a pillow over her face and begged the memory of the night to go away. She no longer cared about District 2 and their reaction after the interview. They were going to try and kill her no matter what was said. Cinna had been right. Peeta helped Katniss with his interview. When they watched the recaps of it, Katniss was sure that she came off just as shallow as a resident of the Capitol. The only genuine part of her interview was the statement she made to Peeta about eating lamb stew with him and when she talked about Prim. Other than that, she looked like a silly girl in a pretty dress that someone else made for her. Strip all of that off of her and she was just a girl from the Seam. Peeta on the other hand was amazing. He was quick witted, handsome, charming and likable. When he spoke about being in love with Katniss, she felt like she wanted to die. She wanted nothing more than to make his dream come true. To have him win the Games and run into his arms and return his love for her, but that would never happen.
Katniss rolled onto her stomach and punched her pillow. Then punched it again…and again. Pretty soon she was pounding it into oblivion. The pillow had taken on many faces. Haymitch's for taking away the precious few days she and Peeta had together. Effie's for calling out Prim's and Peeta's name. President Snow for holding the Hunger Games and Peeta's mother. The witch! She deserved to be in the arena. Not Peeta. Then a thought struck Katniss. His mother wasn't the one that caused his cut tonight. That was you, Katniss. Her stomach hurt. She always knew she had a temper, but she had never imagined she was capable of doing something like… Katniss had to push the image of Peeta falling to the ground out of her head. She got up and ran out of her room.
When she stepped onto the roof she saw the outline of Peeta's body, as he looked out into the streets of the Capitol. Katniss could hear all of the people in the street and she was disgusted. They were having a party…celebrating and it made her sick. She walked closer to Peeta and studied the expression on his face. He seemed to be in his own little world. She wondered what he was thinking about.
"They look like a flock of freakish birds."
She wanted to tell him that she was sorry. To apologize for the things that she had done and the way she had acted over the past few days. She understood now. She knew the moment she saw everyone's faces, after Portia had bandaged Peeta's hand. Haymitch had pretty much come right out and said it. He was trying to sell a television show to the sponsors. She and Peeta had to put on an act and the name of their show was titled, The Star Crossed Lovers of District 12. Katniss knew better. So did Peeta and she was sure the rest of their group did too, but none of them were letting on. So Katniss kept her distance from Peeta and kept their conversation friendly, but when he took her hand and guided her to the wind chime area, she knew that Peeta was about to tell her something that wasn't meant to be heard by anyone but her.
…..
…..
Gale lied in bed staring at the ceiling. There was no way he could sleep tonight. In the morning Katniss would be standing on a platform and running for her life. He'd stay home and watch it. He knew he couldn't be around a group of people when the gong sounded off and the blood bath at the Cornucopia started, least of all, Peeta's father. Past years of Hunger Games started filling his head. Years where the top scoring tributes were taken out within minutes of the start of the competition, which caused Gale to panic. Would Catnip try to make a run for it or would she go for a bow and arrow? The Gamemakers would definitely have a bow and arrow in the Cornucopia for her. Gale was sure that was how she got an eleven during her time with them. She probably hit every single target dead on. She probably split an arrow right down the middle. He smiled at the image of Katniss doing that.
He rolled to his side and looked out the sheer fabric that covered his window. The moon was bright. Gale stared at it and wondered if Katniss was thinking about him. Was she missing him like he was missing her? Or was she with Peeta? Gale's heart ached when he thought of her face after Peeta declared his love for her. At least Peeta confirmed what Gale had known all along, that Katniss never knew about Peeta's feelings for him. They were nothing more than acquaintances. Still, she knew about his feelings now, and that's what frightened Gale. Would Katniss let Peeta's declaration cloud her judgment while she was in the arena? Absolutely not. This he knew for a fact. There was no one Catnip loved more than her sister, Prim.
The moment Gale had left the baker, earlier in the evening, he knew that he couldn't keep up the normal routine that had taken place between them as of lately. Fortunately the baker said that he'd be sending one of his sons to Katniss' house with some food for a while. Gale assumed it was the baker's way of telling him, he didn't have to come back if he didn't want to. Or maybe the man just wanted to mourn the death of his son in peace. Gale didn't know. Frankly, he didn't care. He had never given Peeta Mellark much thought except to think that he was a pampered little merchant boy from town. Now he's all Gale could think of.
Gale began to dissect every interaction he'd ever had with Peeta. He'd seen him in school. The girls talked about him a lot. They seemed to think he was cute and funny. He always had a crowd of friends around him. He was a wrestler. He must've been tough, Gale thought, because he would show up to school with the occasional bruise or cut on his face or arms. Gale remembered a bad burn he had seen once too, but he was a baker, so that had to come with the territory, right? Gale thought of his trades with Peeta's father. Had Peeta ever been there for those trades? Yes! The morning of the reaping. He was there. Gale was certain of it, because Peeta had mentioned it later when he saw him by the woods.
Gale sat upright in bed and mumbled to himself, "What were you doing by the woods, Peeta?" His mind starting racing back to that morning. He and Katniss were getting ready to leave, but she said that she had wanted some time alone. Gale wanted to wait outside of the fence for her, but she didn't want him to. Why not, Catnip? His eyes were whizzing back and forth across his moonlit bedroom. Why did you need to be alone? What couldn't I see? What were you hiding? He asked himself. Gale kept reaching back for the memory. He squeezed out of the space underneath the fence and came up short when he ran into Peeta just a few feet away. Gale was certain no one had been there. That the street was deserted, but Peeta had suddenly materialized out of nowhere. Had he been hiding? Gale began to shake his head as if telling himself, no. There was no way on earth the baker's kid could've hidden from him. What happened next? Gale racked his brain trying to remember. He and Peeta had struck up a conversation. Peeta had said hi to him. Hi. Hi… That's when Gale remembered what had been eating away at him since reaping day.
He could see Katniss' face as she stood in the crowd of teenage girls. They were waiting for Effie Trinket to take the stage. Gale was trying to send Katniss a reassuring look from across the square. Trying to let her know, in his own way, that things would be alright, but then her face turned soft. At first Gale thought the look was meant for him, but her eyes shifted away from him. Her lips formed the word, hi and when Gale turned to see who she was looking at he couldn't make out who it was, but then he saw the familiar curly blond hair and blue eyes. She was talking to Peeta Mellark.
…..
…..
They stood precariously close to one another in the center of the rooftop garden. Moonlight spilled around them. There was a gentle breeze giving the night air a slight chill, but neither of them felt it. They both knew that this was it. This was the last time they'd have together outside of the arena. The last time they could speak to one another without someone listening to every word they said and they needed to make it count.
Katniss noticed the way the light accentuated Peeta's blond eyelashes. The way the ends of his hair flickered with the wind.
Peeta was breathless when he saw the light reflecting off of Katniss' eyes. He could make out her freckles. She only had a few, but they were sprinkled across the bridge of her nose and he adored them.
They weren't touching. They were just looking. Admiring.
Katniss broke the silence. "I'm sorry I hurt you." She lifted up his bandaged hand and placed a kiss above the cut then let it drop back down.
"It was an accident. I know you didn't mean it."
"I didn't. I would never hurt you." She hadn't meant to hurt him. She had just wanted him to look at her so she could see his face when she talked to him.
"I know that. Portia put some medicine on it. She said it'll be healed by morning."
"Good. Still…I'm sorry."
"I forgive you, Katniss." Peeta watched as she accepted his forgiveness and thought, that's one down. Just a couple more to go. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you what I was planning to do during my interview. Haymitch and I thought it would bring in more sponsors if I kept my feelings…"
Katniss didn't want him to risk anything by saying it out loud so she interrupted him. "That's okay. I know why you did it."
"Do you?"
"Yes." Because you want to protect me, she thought. Because all you've ever wanted to do was take care of me.
"I'm sorry, Katniss. Sorry that I wasted these past few days. That I gave away what precious time we had together."
"You had good reasons for your actions so…I forgive you, Peeta." She smiled softly into his eyes.
"You were great in your interview tonight, you know?"
"Not as good as you were."
"No, Katniss. When you talked about making that promise to Prim… That really made an impact on people." Peeta ducked his head down to her eye level and said, "On me." He waited and then said, "Just remember that tomorrow, okay?"
She nodded.
"When you're in the arena, you remember the promise you made to Prim and you'll win for sure. But…" Peeta stammered and tried to go on. "But…just in case…just in case you forget. I'm going to ask you to make me the same promise."
Katniss gave him a look of question. "Huh?"
"Promise me you'll try to win. For me. You'll try…no…no. You will win. You'll win. For me. Can you promise me that?"
It was time, Katniss realized. Time to face Peeta's death. She tried to take a breath, but no air would come.
Peeta gripped her upper arms and shook her a little. "I need you to do this for me. Say it. Say you'll win for me." His voice was soft, but urgent. "You can do this. We both know you can, so take a breath." He dropped his hands and watched her as she breathed in the night air. "And say the words."
Katniss was blinking a mile a minute. She knew once she said it out loud Peeta was as good as dead. "I…I promise." She gulped.
"You'll win. Say it."
"I promise I'll win." Katniss felt like one of the dummies that District 2 had thrown a spear into during training. She had just told Peeta that he was as good as dead to her. She hung her head down and put her face in her hands.
"Hey. It's okay. It's okay." Peeta whispered to her. "We both knew this was going to happen." He rubbed his hands up and down her arms.
Katniss wanted to cry, but she didn't. She held back her tears for Peeta's sake. She'd wait until she was alone in her room to let them come. She lifted up her face to his and said, "Yes. We did."
When Peeta saw the strength she was displaying he felt a surge of pride rush through his veins. "That's my girl." He reached out and let her braid trail through his fingers before letting his hand fall to his side. "You were on fire long before Cinna ever took a match to you."
Katniss was moved by him. Peeta had been more than she had ever deserved. He was just a breath away. She was desperate to reach out and touch him. To kiss him.
The tension between them was growing stronger. They could feel themselves being pulled closer to one another. Peeta began to dip his head down as Katniss lifted herself up on her toes. When the gust of wind blew against them and caused the wind chimes to crash, they startled apart.
Katniss looked around at the flying chimes. When they settled back down and began to make their soft tinkling noises again she said, "I wish we had a place like this in the arena." She turned to Peeta. "A place where we could talk and no one could hear what we were saying."
"Maybe we should take up lip reading?" Peeta tried to make a joke, but Katniss just gave him a soft smile. He knew if they had stayed up there any longer they would be in trouble. They needed to leave before temptation got to the best of them, but there was still something she needed to know. "Katniss, I have to tell you something."
"Okay."
"It's important."
Katniss saw the urgency on Peeta's face and said, "I'm listening."
"After you win and you come back here. You'll see the recap of the Games and…I'm not sure how they'll edit it or what you'll be seeing…or…or hearing…." Peeta didn't know how to tell her what the plan for the arena was without giving it away. "I guess what I'm saying is…I'm not going to let them change me."
Katniss didn't understand what Peeta was getting at. "You mean you won't kill anybody?"
"No." He shook his head. "No…I'm sure I will." He lifted an eyebrow and said, "I know I will, but…I'm not going to be a pawn in their Games, Katniss. I've got my own agenda. I'll be playing my own Game." He placed his hands on her upper arms and said, "The important thing to remember is that, no matter what I say…no matter what I do…It's all for you. Will you remember that?" He was nodding his head at her. "Everything I do in that arena is for you. You just have to remember that no matter what they play back during the recap. Okay?"
Katniss began to nod too. "Okay. I'll remember."
Peeta breathed a sigh of relief. "Good." He gave her forehead a quick kiss and said, "Good." He put his arm around her shoulder and told her. "Listen. It's getting late. We should get some sleep."
Katniss didn't want to go to sleep. She wanted to stay up on the roof with Peeta. What she really wanted was to go home to District 12 with him. To go back in time and let Peeta ask her mother's permission to date her. To tell the witch to go to hell. Maybe threaten her with a bow and arrow? She wanted more time, but she didn't have any. She was standing at her bedroom door and Peeta was saying goodnight.
"Goodnight, Katniss." He started to walk away. Katniss had to stop him.
"Peeta!" She called quietly as she took his hand. "Don't go."
Peeta walked as close as possible to her. Their noses were a breath apart. He looked around the hallway as if saying, 'they're watching….listening.' "Read my lips, Katniss." He was making reference to the joke he had made in the garden with the wind chimes. It was three words. Three little words…"Go to sleep." His lips moved, but barely a sound came out. Then he whispered, "I'll see you tomorrow."
Peeta watched her as she entered her bedroom. He listened as the latch on the door closed and his heart cracked in half. He knew he had given up his last chance to say, what he'd been dying to say to her, since he was five years old.
…..
…..
Gale woke up before dawn and got dressed. He barely made a sound as he left his house and started walking down the streets of District 12. It was still dark outside, but it would be light soon. He had spent the entire night ripping apart the past several years of his life…of his friendship with Katniss. He had come to a conclusion sometime around 3:00am. Katniss had been mentioning Peeta in conversations with Gale over the past few months, but it was just in passing. The thing that bothered Gale was that Katniss never talked about anybody at school. Well, she seemed to be talking about Madge and Delly lately too. All of them were kids from town. Katniss and Madge had been sort of friends for a while. Gale knew this. Katniss yelled at him last year for making fun of Madge when they were in the woods once. When it came right down to it, Gale didn't care. He didn't care who Katniss was friends with. She still spent her time with him. Still told him everything. They still spent every Sunday together, hunted together and hadn't she said she wanted to eat some kind of stew with him by her favorite tree? Gale had watched the recap of the interviews just to see what she had said. It was an oak tree. She wanted to eat lamb stew with him by an oak tree.
Gale checked to make sure there were no Peacekeepers around and lifted his hand up to the fence that separated District 12 from the woods. The coast was clear and the electricity wasn't on. He made his way through the rusted opening that ran from the top to the bottom of the fence. It wasn't as hidden as some of the other entrances, but at this time of day, there was no one around so he took his chances and went in.
He walked slowly, not caring if he scared any game away, today he wasn't hunting. When he found their spot he looked at the giant tree they often sat under and pulled off one of its leaves. He sunk to the ground and watched the sun rise over the horizon. He began carelessly picking at the maple leaf he had pulled and hoped that Katniss was in familiar surroundings.
Across the country twenty four tributes stood on their platforms listening to the sound of Claudius Templesmith, the voice of the Hunger Games. "Ladies and Gentlemen, let the Seventy-fourth Hunger Games begin!"
…..
…..
Katniss took little sips of water from the glass that Cinna had given her. The salty taste of blood filled her mouth. She had been gnawing on the inside of her cheek. One of many nervous habits she'd developed over the years. The flavor of blood reminded her of the cut on Peeta's hand. Was it okay? He had said that it would be healed by morning. Were the medicines at the Capitol that advanced? Thought after thought inundated her mind. Memories of him rushed through her. How long ago had she felt his touch? How were his hands? She hadn't noticed them when she felt his touch. She berated herself for not paying more attention.
The promise she had made to Prim…to Peeta, was weighing heavily on her shoulders. Why didn't she suggest that he be the victor of the Games? Peeta was much more deserving than she could ever be. He would take care of her family. He would make sure Prim was fed and clothed. Peeta would make sure they never wanted for anything. But Peeta would never allow Katniss to give her life for his. In her heart she knew that.
She conjured up the sound of Peeta's voice. "I love you, Katniss. I love you." She imagined his blue eyes looking into hers, as his lips covered hers.
The sound of Cinna's voice interrupted her thoughts. "Do you want to talk, Katniss?"
She didn't want to talk. She couldn't speak. Her head made a shaking motion, telling Cinna, no, but her hand reached out to his. Strength. She needed strength. Katniss felt Cinna's hands grip hers and squeeze.
Peeta squeezed my hand on Reaping Day, she remembered. She trailed the fingers of her free hand across her lips, bringing the memory of Peeta's kiss back one last time. Katniss jumped when she heard a voice announcing that it was time to take her place.
Her heart was racing. Her blood was pumping. Every fiber of her being was on edge. She was trembling with nerves as she took her place on the circular platform.
"Remember what Haymitch said. Run, find water. The rest will follow," said Cinna. "And remember this. I'm not allowed to bet, but if I could, my money would be on you."
"Truly?"
"Truly." She accepted the kiss Cinna placed on her forehead. "Good luck girl on fire."
She heard Peeta's words from the night before. "You were on fire long before Cinna took a match to you." She flashed her eyes to Cinna's. Her stare was filled with fear…panic…sheer terror.
The cylinder rose up around her and the platform began to rise. Katniss placed her hands on the tube that had encased her. There was nothing but darkness for several seconds. Then the tube that had surrounded her, started to lower as Katniss started to rise to her destination. The shock of sunlight blinded her for a few moments. She tried to rely on her other senses. There was a breeze. Fresh air. What do you smell, Katniss? Pine! I smell Pine, but her thoughts were interrupted by the familiar voice of the Hunger Games.
"Ladies and Gentlemen, let the Seventy-fourth Hunger Games begin!"
…..
…..
"Are you ready, Peeta?"
Peeta stood up and ran to Portia. "I didn't tell her." His voice was frantic.
"Didn't tell who?"
"Katniss. She was right there…and I…" Peeta kept rambling on and on like he was losing his mind. "I'm going to die and I'll never get the chance to say it…to let her know. Why didn't I tell her, Portia? Why didn't I tell her?" Peeta shook Portia by the upper arms.
"Peeta, you have to calm down. It's almost time to go." Portia handed him his shift and said, "Put this on. Quickly."
Peeta kept mumbling to himself as Portia watched. "Peeta you have to snap out of this."
"But I didn't say it."
"She knows, Peeta." Portia tried to reassure him. "You told her last night."
"No." Peeta stripped the last of his clothes off and threw them on the floor in disgust. "I told the sponsors. I didn't tell her. I never told her." He pulled on the shift that Portia had handed him, as tears started to fill his eyes. "I never told her."
Portia looked around the room. She opened up his bedroom door and looked down the hall. "Come on."
"Where…"
"Shush!" She whispered to him. She held her fingers up over her lips before stepping into the hallway. She walked to the end of it and waved him foreword. Portia opened up Katniss' bedroom door and waved Peeta into the room. "You only have a minute. Hurry."
Peeta ran straight to Katniss who was standing at the end of her bed with a look of utter shock on her face. "Peet…" He stopped her words with his lips.
Peeta placed his hands on the sides of her face and his insides turned to putty when she did the same to him. "I love you, Katniss." He breathed the words into her mouth between the kiss. They were holding each other's gaze the entire time. "I love you. I love you…" Peeta kept confessing to her as he expressed his love in a kiss.
Katniss started to speak. "Peeta…"
"No." Peeta kissed her again. "Don't say anything."
"Why not?" She continued kissing him back.
"I don't think I could take it if you did." Peeta stroked her cheek and wrapped her braid around his hand. He kept kissing her and talking in between. "I had to tell you. I just needed you to know."
"I know, Peeta. I've always known." Katniss pulled his head closer to hers to deepen the kiss and spoke into his mouth. "I don't want you to die."
"I love you, Katniss."
"Peeta. We have to go." Portia was calling quietly from the doorway.
Peeta felt the silkiness of Katniss' hair and he gave her one last kiss. "I love you."
"Peeta," Katniss whispered hoarsely and held her hand out to him as he left her.
"Hurry, Peeta," Portia said as she ushered him out of the door. Portia gave Katniss a heartbroken look and shut the door.
Peeta wiped his eyes on his sleeve and said, "Thank you."
Portia swallowed hard and said, "We need to get to the roof before they send someone down."
Peeta nodded his head and they made their way to the rooftop just in the nick of time. The hovercraft had just appeared overhead.
Portia guided Peeta through the process of the morning's procedures. She watched as his tracker was placed inside of his arm. Traveled with him on the hovercraft to the catacombs beneath the arena. Urged him to eat as much as possible. Gave him as much information as she could when she saw the clothing that was provided for the tributes and tried to keep him calm.
"Remember Haymitch's instructions." Portia said in a reassuring tone.
"I know. I remember the plan." Peeta could feel his pulse pounding.
She held out a glass of water to him. "Drink some water."
"I can't." He was sure that he was about to lose all of the breakfast Portia had made him eat.
"It's almost time." Portia paused. "Peeta, I won't ask you if you're sure about this. I know you are. I just want to tell you what an honor it's been for me to know you."
Peeta stood and took Portia's hand. He was shaking, but he tried not to let her see. "Portia, the honor was mine." Peeta had no clue how he was going to get through the next few minutes. If he just knew what kind of arena he was going into. It was the not knowing that was the worst part. Not knowing what was coming.
Portia pulled him in for a hug and spoke into his ear. "You are a remarkable man. Your mother must be a wonderful woman to have raised such an inspiring young man."
Peeta shook his head in disbelief. "Wha…what did you say?"
"Your mother. I said she must be a wonderful woman." Portia pulled back and looked at Peeta as he began to laugh to himself.
Peeta squeezed her and said, "Thank you, Portia. Thank you."
"You're welcome."
A second ago Peeta had no clue how he was going to make it through the unknown and now he knew exactly how he would. Portia had told him how. His whole life had been an arena and his mother was the ultimate Career. He'd get through this the only way he knew how, by relying on himself and the training his mother had provided for him since he was a toddler.
He grabbed the glass of water Portia had been trying to get him to drink and downed it. Stepped onto the platform and waited for the tube to encase him. Everything went black and then there was light. Bright sunlight. Wind. The sound of leaves rustling all around him.
Peeta adjusted his eyes as he heard, "Ladies and Gentlemen, let the Seventy-fourth Hunger Games begin!"