I really would love to post another chapter today. So comment comment comment and the next chapter will be up in a few hours :)
Cornish: I guess Ashley can't see it that way. She just knows that she loves her and nothing else matters. And yeah I know what you mean lol. I think this could all be harder on Ashley because she had the most to lose by falling for Spencer...don't you think?
SONNOC: Yuuuup fanfic crush. My gf said she remembers your name but not the conversation. We both have terrible memories though so... don't worry about it lol. Glad you loved it, I liked writing Glen in this story. I told MsBlaze that I wish I would have put him in it more. He was a great brother to Spencer. Aw. Aren't we all saps at heart though? lol. And btw I don't mind your rants about Grey's Anatomy. I wonder if you watch any of the other shows I watch?... I will go ahead and answer your question, no that's not the last time Spencer and Ashley saw each other. Cause I didn't want you over there freaking out lol.
dani: I love updating daily! I'm glad you liked it. Hope you enjoy this one as well.
A: We sure are.
Reader: Here's the next update for you.
Ohsoclever1: "Deeper than the ocean." I'm pretty sure that's the first time anyone has ever told me that :)
ana: well here you are :)
Tam24: He is very sweet. I also love his character.
lovely: That's my goal. I'm so glad I achieved it.
mathgeek: OOoooo candy. See now I want some. lol. I'm glad you liked the update. I think it's important to make the characters seem as real as possible, I also don't like to stray too much from the Spencer and Ashley that were on the show, you know what I mean? And I believe this is the first review I've seen from you so welcome to the party. ;)
victorial117: The language is totally cool lol. I get like that sometimes when I enjoy something a whole lot. I'm glad that you're liking my story so much it causes you to swear hehe.
sarahlynn00: I promise to fill you in on that night at the Garden. :)
pati1996: You'll find out soon I promise.
DeathDealer: Aw well I'm glad you decided to join the review party. It's nice to see you here. I'm glad you're enjoying this. I hope you freaking love the rest of it.
Godlove: Thank you my dear. :) That sounded a little creepy didn't it haha.
Hurting someone has never been a strong suit of mine. I've never been the malicious type, or angered easily.
I've always believed that it's easier to smile than to frown.
Easier to love than to hate.
I know what true pain feels like, I know what it's like to lose someone you love and I don't wish that on anyone.
–
"Stop looking at me like that." I tell Madison, who won't stop staring at me.
"You broke up with Amy didn't you?" She asks and I shake my head.
"Why not?" She asks in a confused tone.
"I don't know how. I've never been good with break ups." I tell her, complete with a shrug.
"Ashley you know you can't keep stringing her along." Madison says and of course she's right.
"I know." I reply.
"Then why don't you just tell her? Does she..." She trails off and looks up at me.
"No... I mean kinda." Madison raises a brow and I continue. "I told her about the Spencer in the Garden not the Spencer at LA Medical." I say apprehensively.
"Ashley!" My friend scolds me.
"I know, I know. I'm gonna tell her, I just haven't gotten around to it."
"Ashley it's really not fair to-"
"I know." I cut her off. "I'm gonna tell her." I assure her. She gives me a knowing look before we both go back to watching T.V.
–
"Ashley." My mother calls for me when I enter the house. It's barely nine so I know I haven't broken curfew. What could she want?
"Yeah mom?" I ask when I enter the kitchen. I can tell she's been crying. "Mom?" I question when she doesn't say anything. "Mom?" I try again, moving around the counter to where she's standing. "Mom, what's wrong? Why are you crying?" The questions fall from my lips, but she doesn't answer any of them. She just continues to cry. "Mom please." I beg for answers. She shakes her head and wipes her face.
"Have a seat honey." She tells me pointing to the table. The table we eat breakfast at every morning. Where we share our days over dinner. I walk over to the table slowly and sit down.
"Mom can you just tell me what's going on please." I ask. She slowly walks over to the table and takes a seat in the chair next to me. I can tell that she's willing herself not start crying again.
"Ashley..." She starts, swallowing thickly. I look down and I can see my heart beating through my shirt. I know whatever is about to come out of my mother's mouth won't be good news. "Honey, your father..." Is all she is able to say before stand up from the chair, the loud clang of the chair hitting the floor echoes throughout the kitchen.
"No." I breathe out and I can feel the tears already building. "No mom." I shake my head. Wishing...hoping...praying that's she not about to say what I think she is. "He's not..." I trail off and shut my eyes tight. This is a dream. This is all just a really bad dream.
"He was at work sweetie, he had a heart attack and they couldn't-"
"You're lying!" I cut her off, shaking my head.
"Ashley please, calm-"
"Don't you dare tell me to calm down." I say with trembling lips. I'm not gonna cry. This is just a bad dream. I'm not gonna cry.
"Ashley he didn't feel any pain." She says and my face contorts in pain. "They say it happened so quickly, he was gone before he hit the ground."
"Mom, stop." I plead with her. "Tell me you're lying. Tell me this is some sick joke." I say, unable to hold back the tears any longer.
"I'm sorry." She shakes her head. "I..." She trails off as she sees my body hit the floor. I'm not sure what happened after that. I was on autopilot for the next year.
–
"I'm glad you called." Amy says to me as she walks into our apartment and hugs me.
"Sure." I hug her back. "You don't have to sleep at your mom's house Am." I tell her and she smiles.
"I was giving you your space." She says with a smile, then I notice the flower in her hand.
"What's this?" I ask as she hands it to me.
"It's a Jonquil." She replies.
"I know, what kind of flower it is, I'm asking why you're giving it to me?"
"The guy at the flower shop told me that it means-"
"Amy." I cut her off.
"Hmm?" She asks.
"I need to talk to you about something." I place the flower on the table by the door and walk us over to the couch.
"What is it, Ash?" She asks me as we sit down.
I sigh before beginning, "Am's you're an amazing person and the months that we spent together were nothing short amazing-"
"Ashley." She cuts me off. I can see it in her eyes that she knows what I'm about to say and she's begging me not too.
"I have to say this, Amy." I tell her as the tears build in both our eyes. Her eyes flutter shut as I continue. "I love you, and you know that. I will always love you. You'll always have a place in my heart." I swallow, my mouth suddenly dry. I shut my eyes tightly, before sighing and starting again. "We can't be together anymore." My words leave my lips as my eyes open to see Amy crying. "Don't cry, please." I tell her, lifting a hand to wipe away the falling tears.
"You can't tell me not to cry when you're doing this to me, Ashley... to us."
"Amy I'm doing this because I love you." I try to explain to her.
"You love a ghost!" She shouts as she stands up from the couch.
"Her name is Spencer, and she's a real life person Amy." I tell her and realize how funny it sounded.
"What?" She asks confused.
"Her name is Spencer and she's a real person, not a figment of my imagination. She's in a coma at LA Medical." I tell her and her face changes from sadness to anger.
"You knew this the entire time?!" She half screams.
"No." I shake my head. "Not the entire time." I say.
"But you did know! And some point you found out and you failed to tell me, your girlfriend about it?!" She questions and all I can do is nod. "Fuck you, Ashley." She says before turning around and swiftly making her way out the front door.
I walk over to the flower on the table by the door and pick it up.
Jonquil flower...the desire to be loved
I sigh and close my eyes.
This is why I hate breaks up.