Zephyr POV
He's smiling at me. I just flew into a totally embarrassing rage and he's smiling at me. How infuriating.
I'm beyond angry. I have no control over my life any more, everything has been taken. My innocence has been taken, my school, my friends, my job, my family. Its all been taken from me. I'm stuck, here, in this little bubble of safety, and as calm, peaceful, and beautiful as it is, its freaking restricting. I was not born to hide.
Snape's eyes narrow, he's still looking at me. He sighs, then sits down on the arm of my chair.
"I know you're angry." He says softly. "But its just for a little bit. Please, just trust Dumbledore. Trust me."
He leaves the next day for Hogwarts, for the place I should be. My friends will notice I'm not there, they'll think I'm off working as a spy. They'll have drama, and fights, and they'll make up. They'll have inside jokes and detentions together and lessons. They'll move on. I'll be just some girl they knew for a little bit in school.
I feel so alone.
I go for a run. I come back, fix lunch, look at my turkey sandwich. You don't need that, do you? Nah. Not really.
I while away the afternoon, reading books. I read Magical Discoveries of the 1990's. Boring…just like the 1990's. I move over to a section of Muggle books. Good thing Snape has an extensive library. I read Emma. I decide I love Muggle classic literature.
Its night. Dinner? I haven't eaten dinner in years. Why start now?
So I don't.
I know what I'm doing. I'm fully aware that I'm exerting control on the only thing I possibly can, on food. I've read the stories, the books, seen the interviews on Muggle television. I'm not dumb. So why are you doing this? Because it feels good, I tell the stupid voice in my head. Because in a completely twisted way, I deserve it.
Snape doesn't come back until the weekend. I'm out on a run, and when I come back, there's someone in the study. My heart stops temporarily, and then I realize its just him. I grab a glass of water, and then wander into the study, dropping into the chair opposite his desk. He looks up at me from a stack of papers he's grading.
"Hey." I say, grinning. "Long time, no see, its been boring." I'm surprised at how much I really am glad to see him, how much I've missed him without realizing. A smile plays around his mouth, his expression impossible to read.
"Hey yourself. Sorry I was unable to come sooner, I must be careful. You found the Jane Austin collection, I see." I nod,
"Yup, and the Mark Twain."
"Gotta be careful with that guy," Snape says eyeing the copy of Puddinhead Wilson I'm holding up. I'm confused for a second, then realize that he's joking. My delayed laugher brings a smile to his eyes, and I realize I like making him almost-smile. I let myself wonder for a second what it'd be like to make him actually laugh, to say something truly funny and have him laugh.
What a weird thought, Zephyr. You sure you're not smoking crack?