Chapter 10: Interruptions

(Harry's P.O.V)

Our moment was shattered by the calls of Lucius bursting through the door. He obviously thought there'd still be enough resistance in me to mean he wouldn't be interrupting anything serious. What he thought would be welcome news froze in this throat at the glare of Vol... Marvolo, who clearly imaged my admission had a pleasurable follow-up. The smirk of Bellatrix behind him didn't escape my notice, so I remained on his lap as Lucius stuttered his apology and report.

"It's the Weasleys, my lord. They received the package sooner than anticipated, Dumbledore demands the return of the kid and Harry, or he says the war will erupt before we're ready to hold our ground."

From beneath the hand I'd knowingly placed on his chest, I felt his heart beat harder. I placed gentle kisses along his jawline, and I felt his fingers trail shapes across my back in a soothing caress to calm himself. LeStrange eyed his fingers enviously, obviously not treated to his gentle hands, while I continued kissing his exposed skin. Lucius asked whether they were releasing Percy back to his family, but my partner denied. They weren't budging, they were sticking to the plan. Which meant he really had left Percy down there with Greyback, suffering abuse I could be under if I resist Marvolo enough. It was chilling.

"Are you cold?" He smirked, encircling in me with his arms.

I shook my head, which I burrowed under his chin. It seemed very child-like, but I couldn't trust my voice after learning Percy was in pain. My earlier guilt compressed me again. Bellatrix insisted they gather his inner circle to deliberate, in case Dumbledore followed through with his reckless threat. I conceded he should, that while we both knew he wanted to stay where we were he had responsibilities to deal with. His face moved towards mine as I stood back. It looked like nothing, but I knew he felt then distance back in place. I'd rejected his kiss, again, and this certainly displeased him.

Barely five minutes after making my promise to try harder with him, I move us right back to square one. I turned back on my word and started acting like an asshole again. This was the sort of behaviour I needed to stop, it was my guilt and shouldn't affect him. This was why I'd hidden my punishment pack behind the toilet seat, get myself to not deny him when he only asked for what I'd agreed to give him. When he returned that night, I had fresh reminders to watch my actions and called on him to cradle me in bed because I was tired. He looked weary, my hot-to-cold attitude clearly setting him back too. But I solved that. Gentle kissing and a repeat of our passion in the bathroom and he relaxed around me, smothering me as we both found restful sleep.

Marvolo was right to question Dumbledore's bluff. They returned Percy in a state I couldn't handle imagining, and a month later there was still nothing. I'd heard nothing of Percy. If I'd have woken up that morning to Voldemort in a bad mood, I could have forced like that, and that only made my head hurt thinking of the pain I would have felt being his reality.

It held back my relationship as well. Being raped, knowing he had that cruelty in him, made me less willing to let him claim me fully. I'd fingered my ass before, and I hadn't continued to the point it was supposed to feel good. It stung and made my head swim like I was going to be sick. Not something I could take under his rough style. He'd promised to take it easy on me, knowing I was new to sex as well as sex with a man. But I'd still kept saying no. His angry expression trying to hide the pain of rejection in his eyes was the fuel to my self-punishment. I'd only given in to that instinct twice, and only after seeing that pain.

I woke up alone one morning, a note on his pillows that simply stated he was away on business, would return when he was finished. The concept of sleeping alone in this place wasn't comforting. I retreated to the gardens to try and relax, taking advantage of the last days of summer with Maxy and enjoying lunch under a huge oak tree. Today, I went alone, and sat around the back against the monstrous hedge for privacy. Alone with my thoughts, I had another moment to reflect on my guilt.

"Pst, Harry. Are you there, it's me, Percy."

The first wave to crash me was of shock. I could believe Percy came back here and was crouched outside on the other side of the hedge to talk to me. And it sunk in that I couldn't believe that, the next wave of suspicion arriving. I felt brambles move against my back, sliding right. He warned that if I could feel his hand, to move, but it had disappeared somewhere.

"Bombarda!"

The hole was blown into the hedge and a blur of ginger hair barrelled back in before it resealed. Percy sat up and panted. He looked pale, like he hadn't been eating right, and had haunted shade in his eyes. He didn't look like the past month had been peaceful for him, but someone had restored what my lover had taken. He didn't look like anything had been done to him, there was no scaring anywhere visible. It was a slight relief.

"What are you doing? It makes no sense of you to show up here," I whispered. "What the fuck are you thinking?"

"Look, Harry, I'm really sorry for interrupting your lunch, but I need to talk to someone who can understand what's been haunting me. Try to help me sort my mind out because I'm having thoughts that can't be my own. Please, Harry."

"Okay, okay. First, you need to calm down so I can understand you." I mimicked deep breathing and he started to copy. "Now what do you need?"

"I need you to help me. I think I've gone insane because -because I think I've fallen for a murderer too."

Quick A/N: I will update in... 3 days. But I need guidance. So far the structure is alternating P.O.V chapters, and next is old Voldy. So leave a review on this: Chapter 11 following with regular, being something Vold is doing? Or, have it as Harry again, and the rest of his conversation with Percy a chapter early?