Chapter 9
She didn't know how much time had passed when her intercom started buzzing. It didn't help her headache. Her Omni-Tool had buzzed so frequently she shut it off. The Intercom rang a few more times. The beats of the insipid, insidious tuneless melody felt like hammers in her mind. At last the buzzing was overridden and replaced with a voice.
"Councillor Shepard, this is Lt. Krolius of C-Sec. Is everything all right?" A voice asked her.
"Not really." She answered dryly.
There was a silence of a few seconds before the intercom opened again. "I have a visitor for you. Karolina Stravowsky. Do you wish to allow her in?"
"Fine." She sighed. She suddenly thought of her appearance. You always had to look your best in front of your subordinates. You never showed doubt or weakness, either. She stood up, her knee joints cracked. How long had she been sitting in the sofa? She thought as she stretched herself. She walked down the hall to where she thought the bathroom was. She'd never been here, she'd seen vids, it was strange, empty. Over in the living room was an upright piano, made of black onyx, shining a deep gloss. She walked down the hallway. The first doorway on her left was an empty closet. The next on her right was an empty room, most likely intended as a guest bedroom. The next doorway on her left was the bathroom. She looked herself in the mirror and sighed. Her green eyes seemed to glow less, dark circles surrounded them, her skin ghostly white, her hair thoroughly dishevelled. She closed the sink and opened the water. She let it run until the sink was half full. She splashed her face a few times. Even though the water was warm it felt cool on her face.
Her doorbell rang. She flicked on her Omni-Tool and found her apartment's security feed. It was Stravowsky at her door. She pressed a button and unlocked her door. She walked out of the bathroom and greeted her aide just as she'd entered the apartment. She was startled as she saw her less than professional appearance.
"You okay?" She asked, clearly concerned.
"Nope." Cassandra said flatly. She nodded her head and they sat down together in the living room. Cassandra sat on the sofa where she'd just been, Stravowksy opposite her in a loveseat.
"What's going on? Where's your missus?"
"We... had a fight."
"What?" Shocked that their idyllic relationship could have the odd fight.
"It's not about that." Cassandra said, a lump manifested itself in her throat again. Every word was a struggle, not so much to speak, but to compartmentalize the emotional implications of what she was saying and prevent herself from breaking down. She had to be strong in front of her subordinate.
"I'm going to have to take some time off...(Nihil verum nisis mors) Medical thing. It's... complicated. Don't know how long... might be... (forever)...years."
"Years?" Stravowsky looked at her. Caassandra forced herself to look at her aide. Their eyes met for the briefest flickers. But in that instant, she deduced the condition might be terminal. Her blue eyes flooded with compassion.
"I'm so sorry."
They said nothing for several seconds.
"What's next?" Stravowsky asked her.
"I'm gonna stick around for a week then I'm going away. I figure I'd help out with the conference a bit before I go."
"You sure?" Stravowsky asked her. Cassandra nodded.
"That's a pretty bad idea, actually." She said apologetically. Cassandra frowned at her.
"These peace talks need to have no distractions. Having you here and then leaving after a few days would cause tons of distractions. It'll invite hundreds of questions about what's going on, about the stability of the Council. We have enough of that thanks to the Tevos thing. The fewer concerns people have the better. If you leave now, it'll cause less problems. And, let's be honest, it'll probably be easier if you're not there. Peace agreements usually take months and the batarians don't like you very much, either."
"What do you suggest?" Cassandra asked.
"I'm assuming the whole idea of just packing up now and leaving's out of the question." She didn't wait for an answer, Stravowsky knew her well and continued on. "There's going to be ceremonies in three days when the batarians get here. Stick around for that, give a speech here, a few toasts there. Then when it's done, you go on leave."
She looked away from her aide and stared at the white carpet beneath her. It made sense, but it felt wrong. It felt like she was quitting. She had to do one more thing. One more thing, just in case. In case... In case Miranda couldn't perform a second miracle. Maybe she was right after all.
"I'll...think about it." She mustered.
Stravowsky nodded. "Can I get you anything?"
"I could do with some more Bugs Bunny vids about now." She answered, half-joking.
Stravowsky smiled. "Done." She activated her Omni-Tool. The wall-mounted vid screen activated as well.
"What are you doing?" Cassandra asked.
"We're gonna watch 'em together!" She said with glee, leaning back in the loveseat as the familiar Looney Tones theme song started playing. For a half hour they watched Bugs Bunny outwit Yosemite Sam, Elmer Fudd and Daffy Duck. They were both in stitches, and Cassandra was able to forget her sorrows her the time. Cassandra spent the half hour laughing as if she'd never laughed her entire life. At one point she fell off the sofa due to laughing so hard. But all things come to an end. 30 minutes later Stravowsky excused herself.
"I'd love to stay but I got so much work to do, especially now." She apologized as Cassandra walked her to the entrance.
"It's okay." Cassandra said. Stravowsky stopped at the door and turned around. They looked awkwardly at another, wanting to avoid acknowledging the obvious. Cassandra could tell what was on her aide's mind.
"I'll call the Alliance... I got a lot more work to do all of a sudden! You should let the other councillors know right away." She said, awkwardly back to business. Cassandra nodded.
"Thanks for stopping by." She said, a lump in her throat. Stravowsky surprised her by hugging her. The restraint she'd been trying to maintain for the visit evaporated. She cried lightly.
"Take care of yourself." Stravowsky whispered quietly. Cassandra nodded, not able to speak. "If there's anything I can do..."
Cassandra was eager to say goodbye to her aide, she couldn't be like this in front of her. But Stravowsky stayed a while longer, doing her best to comfort her before departing. She sighed and went to her apartment's communications hub. She contacted the Councillors and Neroona. She was vague on the specifics and insisted she'd only be away for a short time. Sparatus offered his assistance and wished her luck. Valern was curt as usual. Neroona was ambivalent at best. She was glad to be done with them.
The reception buzzed her.
"What is it?"
"There is a Matriarch Aethyta here to see you. Do you wish to allow her in?" A C-Sec officer buzzed.
"Yes."
She turned around, waiting for the doors to open. Maybe Aethyta had Liara with her. The doors opened but she was alone. She walked over quickly and sat next to her. She'd never seen her father in law with such a concerned look.
"Kid's pretty upset." She said simply. Cassandra nodded weakly.
"I know where both of you are coming from. She's always known your time together would be short, but never anticipated it would be this short. She wants to treasure every day with you. Now, more than ever. She loves you more than anything else. You're damn stubborn, you have a sense of duty. Those are good qualities, I wish most maidens valued duty over whoring themselves out as dancers or mercs. The top priority has to be your life, Shep. Three years isn't a long time. And you need every day so this Cerberus chick can do her work. "
"I'm not going to stay a week." Cassandra said. "Just a few days."
Atheyta slowly shook her head. "You should leave now."
"It's just a few more days!" Cassandra insisted. "Do you know what it's like to look Death in the face?"
Atheyta said nothing.
"Being that close to Death. It... affects you. There's just one thing I want to do, or at least... try to do. Then I'll go. He's the only one alive who was there."
Aethyta sighed. "Liara's given up a lot to be with you. You too, but most of the things you gave up on you were ready to anyway. Nezzie and I were both stubborn too. She was more than I deserved... one day, the lack of compromises caught up with us and she left. I don't want to see that happen. You two... the way you two love another is incredible. I don't want what happened to me happen to you."
"I don't want that either." Cassandra said. "It's just one thing. Just a few more days."
"Shep, you're taking time off to save your life. You're not calling in sick to give yourself a three day weekend. Everything I've heard about this Cerberus chick tells me she can do this if she has enough time. You have to give her that."
"I have to." Cassandra said. "I guess I'm not acting very rationally am I?"
"Seems to be plenty of that going around." Aethyta remarked with her usual tact. "You go talk to little wing. She's in my apartment."
She left Aethyta in her apartment. The door opened out into a narrow hallway lined with security scanners and cameras. An opened port on either side of the door held two security drones ready to be released upon command or detection of something awry. Down the hallway was a small elevator. She took the elevator down and it opened out into a reception room, lined with a dozen C-Sec guards. Lt. Krollius was sitting at a reception desk.
"Councillor?" He greeted her when she exited the elevator. The turian looked her over strangely, no doubt she looked thoroughly dishevelled and unprofessional to his disciplined eyes. "Are you going somewhere?"
"Yeah." She answered plainly.
"I'll assign an escort."
A human guard quickly arrived beside her. He followed her closely but discreetly. Aethyta's apartment wasn't far but it meant exposing herself to the public. She was exhausted and couldn't deal with the public now, the looks, the hushed whispers, the supplicants who thrust themselves upon her like she was some kind of divine relic.
She asked the guard if he could take her there discreetly. Thankfully he knew of one. He took her down some maintenance hallways, lined with unused construction materials and tools. Aethyta's apartment building wasn't far from where Miranda had examined her. This was one of the higher -class apartment blocks. The middle and lower income blocks weren't as high a priority. When they arrived inside she asked him to wait for lobby. He politely but firmly declined. Good job. She thought as they went into the elevator and to Aethyta's apartment. She made him wait outside the door and this time he accented.
She opened the door and slowly closed it behind her. A few lights were on, the apartment was rather spacious but with limited furnishings, most of wish seem to be mid-range IKEA products, easy to assemble.
"Liara?" She called her, her voice dry.
Silence answered her. She walked into the apartment, it was warm and homely. She heard the buzz of an active computer console coming from an adjacent room. She walked towards the sound. She found Liara in a room, sitting in her hoverchair, waiting for her. They looked at another awkwardly. Hurt mixed with recrimination, love with worry, pain with anticipation. Cassandra knelt down in front of her and took hold of both of Liara's hands.
"I'll leave in three days, when the opening ceremonies are over." Cassandra said quietly. Liara's scintillating blue eyes flickered. Then she looked away and sighed angrily.
"Why can't you just leave now?"
"I need to talk with Atherton, one last time." She said quietly. "Then we'll go."
Liara shook her head. "You need to let go. If saving the universe can't change his view of you, how is another chat?"
"I have to try!" Cassandra said. "You don't understand-"
"No you don't understand!" Liara interjected, strained with boiling emotion. "Three days could be the difference between you living a hundred years and a hundred hours! To waste it on a spiteful, little man. And in the company of batarians, many of whom would like nothing other than to put a bullet in your head."
"This is my last chance to set things right. You know Torfan's been gnawing away at me ever since. I don't know if I'll change him or not, but I have to try."
"Like you tried with Tevos? That wasn't very successful was it?" Liara said reproachfully.
"It'll be different this time!" Cassandra insisted. Just how different was the real question.
Liara sighed, conceding defeat. She was determined in this, nothing could dissuade her. She'd already compromised and couldn't do it again. Not for something like this. This was personal, the most personal of things. Redemption. Obtaining absolution, forgiveness for one's sins. She had to do this one thing, this one final thing. It wasn't so much to ask was it?
"Very well." Liara said coldly, she pushed Cassandra's hands away. Cassandra knelt forward to kiss her but Liara backed away, denying her the intimacy and comfort she needed so much. Don't... I need you.
"I've spoken with Feron." She said calmly, as if nothing had happened. "He's got some contacts with knowledge of advanced cybernetics. They may be of help. Father's going to talk with Ms. Lawson and work out the details for her team's stay in Elyssia. Now that I know when we're leaving, I'll contact the movers."
"Liara, don't be like this. I need you." Cassandra said with quiet desperation.
"And I need you! But that doesn't seem to matter now, does it?" Liara snapped angrily, slamming her fists against the armrests. Liara's eyes welled. Cassandra took a step towards her. Liara backed away and turned around. Liara buried her head in her hands and Cassandra knew she was quietly weeping.
"You better go. I'm sure you have some things to arrange. I'll...see you... I need to be alone. Goodbye, Shepard."
Shepard. When was the last time Liara had called her that? The cold formality hit like a blow from a sledgehammer. Cassandra wanted to step forward, but instead found herself turning away, the cold power of Liara's words forcing her away. She walked away, listening to Liara's sobbing. The sound becoming more distant as she walked away, but nonetheless potent.
Aethyta was gone. She found herself in her own apartment alone, cold and uninviting. She walked aimlessly from room to room, like a husk, possessing a body but bereft of purpose. She ambled into the bedroom and jumped on the bed. She sought Liara's pillow and held it to her nose, smelling Liara's perfume. She squeezed the pillow, trying to imagine it was Liara but the illusion didn't take hold. It was just a pillow.