The oddest thing about curfew was that it technically never ended. Sure when dawn came it was common convention that one could leave their dormitory, but there was no set time saying one was allowed to resume wandering once again.

For Lily who didn't sleep a wink throughout the night, dawn couldn't come quick enough. She was just sitting a top her bed, watching the second hand of her watch slowly tick off the seconds. The longer she looked, the slower time seemed to pass, but that was nothing new. Neither was the reason for why she was watching the time, she was waiting for that time when the first hints of light would break the dark sky and she could make her escape. Sadly they were coming up upon the longest day of the year, as such, one would have to wait a lot longer for dawn to arrive than would typically be necessary.

Lily was waiting to get out of there, she had to get out before her friends awoke. She didn't know how long she'd have to avoid them all, but she did know she wasn't ready to discuss anything with them, or worse, have to explain herself. A reality that was sure to follow if she was pulled into a discussion with either Charity or Rosalyn.

Finally it was time, the hangings were eased back and she tip-toed in her stockinged feet across the cold floor, her shoes safely clenched in her left hand. The heavy wooden plank door may just become her downfall though, as the hinges nine times out of ten were very unforgiving. She eased open the door, ever so slowly and muttered a silent prayer for a silent escape. Amazingly enough, the hinges were on her side for once-at least something was-and they smoothly and silently allowed Lily to open the door.

Down the stairs and across the deserted common room. The sound of her hurried footsteps were muffled by the thick carpets and rugs that adorned the floors of the Gryffindor Common Room. When she was outside the portrait hole she suddenly stopped. Where was she supposed to go now? It was early, very early actually on a Saturday morning. Breakfast wouldn't be served for several hours because the majority of the students would not awaken until lunch, and so Lily began to wander. Her feet carried her to amazing new locations, and her mind kept quite. Not once did it step in to instruct her on where to go, her feet just carried her in random directions. Sometimes she find herself walking in circles, having passed the same landmark three, four maybe even five times. It didn't really matter, she was in no hurry to be anywhere or see anyone. In fact it was actually quite the opposite.

She only stopped to grab a quick bite when the food first appeared on the long glistening tables in the Great Hall. A shiny green apple was plucked delicately from the dish that held nearly a dozen of the bitter fruit. A piece of dry toast later and a quick gulp of pumpkin juice and she was on her way again. This routine would repeat until curfew fell again at night. Come the next day, she'd do it all again. Upon the arrival of Monday, Lily was at a loss for what to do. No longer could she run away from her problems. It was time for her to return to class. She would never have predicted how hard it actually was to pack her book bag and head off to her first class. She had always been one who loved school. Even as a young girl, entering Primary School she had always looked forward to the first day of school, and every Monday thereafter. Therefore it was a foreign feeling that was currently pressing on the inside of her stomach and making her feel quite ill.

As she walked one foot in front of the other towards what felt like her own demise, she contemplated what the worse part of everything was. James would be in all of her classes, as would Rosalyn and Charity, but on top of her personal dilemmas was the downright horrible issue of schoolwork. As much as she had tried to keep up with her studies from her hospital bed, she had not been all that successful. It appeared that since her accident, the amount of time she could focus on a specific task had become greatly reduced. Since her first class was a double block-double potions actually-she didn't know how she was going to fair.

Much to her surprise she made it all right through her morning. It was nothing spectacular, but she did survive. To ensure she could avoid the people she was trying to avoid, she would make sure to show up just before class was to start. That would ensure that she could sneak in and snag the usually unoccupied seat at the very back of the room, making it look like she had just plunked herself down in order to avoid interrupting the class that was just about to begin. Another benefit of coming in right at the last minute was that nobody else had time to collect their stuff and move seats to sit by her. She just needed to be alone and that seat suited her purpose very nicely.

After a quick lunch, Lily had two classes remaining. That was when things began to fall apart. It started out that the room just became cloudy and she sat in her haze. That was okay, while they were being lectured to, but then when they were asked to stand up and demonstrate, things suddenly took a turn for the worse.

The instructions were muffled, but at the same time they were echoing. It was almost as if she was at the entrance to a long tunnel, listening to someone far off at the other end calling out to her. Suddenly an elbow jolted her back to the present, as a wave of snickers diffused throughout the room. Lily Evans had just been caught zoning out in class. A first.

"I'm sorry," she mumbled sheepishly to the Professor who was staring at her, waiting for an answer. What she had actually missed she still didn't know and it appeared the Professor was not too keen on repeating the last sentence.

"You may be excused Miss Evans, but I'll see you after class."

A mixture of shame and relief could be felt by Lily. Never before had she been called upon in class and then not had the answer, let alone been asked politely to leave. They were not even halfway through the period and so she had a lot of time to kill before she had to meet with the Professor. With no other idea about what she should do, she decided just to sit down in the corridor and wait for the minutes to again tick by.

Apparently utter exhaustion had a way of taking over and Lily didn't realize how quickly a quiet seat could turn into a wonderful sleeping place. One minute she had been sitting there, staring absentmindedly at the wall across the corridor from where she had sat herself down and the next it was the inside of her eyelids which stared back at her. There had been one specific imperfection in the stone that had enthralled her. It was a slightly different colour, more of a brownish colour impeded in a wall of grey. That was the last thing she had seen before her eyelids finally succumbed to the to the adventures of the weekend. She didn't awake when classes let out. A testament to how sleep deprived she actually was, for the pounding of feet and high pitched chatter would have been enough to wake the dead, or at least the severely deaf.

The strange part of it all was that she didn't wake up until the last door had closed and the noise had died away. Apparently the absence of the deafening roar was a better disturber of sleep . The new problem was that she was unaware that she had in fact slept through break. Sinking back in upon herself she willed herself back to sleep, to wait for class to end. She didn't know how much longer she had, but she thought that surely the noise of moving students would be enough to alert her to the ending of class. How wrong she was. Her eyes hadn't been closed for long when she was roughly jolted back to the world of the living. Drowsily she made her way to her feet, and stumbled her way into the now empty classroom, or at least what she thought to be an empty room.

Instead it was occupied by three people. Two of them who Lily really wasn't to keen on being forced into interacting with. A reality that was hurriedly becoming more and more apparent as the seconds ticked on.

"I can see I'm not here to hear about my negative behaviour in class," she said as she turned to make a beeline for the door. Her attempt was quickly halted though as another person that she had initially missed seeing stepped into her pathway, blocking the door.

"Get out of my way," she fired hotly at him, and then finished it up with, "What are you doing here?" just to feed curiosities sake.

"We were about to ask that same thing," a voice chimed in from its seat a top one of the front row desks.

"Why don't we all sit down," Professor McGonagall encouraged her students. Even she had to admit that this was one of the stranger meetings she had been a part of. Maybe it wasn't so much a meeting, but an intervention. She stood, leaning up against her large and sturdy wooden desk which sat front and centre at the front of the classroom. looking out at the young adults that stood before her she knew she was in for an unpleasant confrontation. The looks they were shooting at each other showed both the distaste for and concern that everyone was feeling for those around them.

The way they had arranged themselves also was highly representative of their positions in this matter. Charity and Rosalyn were perched together front and centre, sitting tall and proud, ready for a fight. A fight that was destined to come. James was leaned casually up against the wall, but McGonagall knew he was feeling anything but calm and collected from what he had told her the other night. His position was strategically chosen, between the desk where Lily was crouched and the door. Almost as if he were expecting her to get up and try to bolt again, and he wanted to be able to jump into action and stop her. The way Lily was sitting though, it looked like the fight was gone and the only thing she was preparing herself to do was to shut down, again. In the corner desk, huddled up to the wall, and sinking in around herself. You could almost see the thunderstorm raging just above her head.

"Okay, why don't we get started then, now that everyone is here."

Nobody made a move. No words were spoken, only feet were shuffled and hands were wrung.

"I guess I'll start us out then," McGonagall began when she saw that nobody else was going to take the lead. She had many things she wanted to reveal. Two of them were life altering and she still was unsure about how to begin, or even if she should. After all Lily really didn't have the support system required to shoulder such painful burdens. Sure Charity and Rosalyn thought they were being helpful but both McGonagall and Lily knew otherwise. Maybe the best method would be to ease into things, get a discussion going and see where that led everyone. Hopefully they'd solve some of the issues that were hot and heavy in the room.

"Actually," James held up his hand and drew himself up to his full height, no more leaning against the wall for him, "do you mind if I say something first and then I'm going to go?"

McGonagall was startled, but in a good way. She had fully expected for nobody to jump right in and voice what was on their mind. On top of that, as much as she had thought it was necessary to have James say what he needed to, it would probably cause less hostility and shutting down in the room if he wasn't there. Apparently she was about to get the best of both worlds, "Of course," she nodded in his direction, giving him his cue to begin.

James stood there awkwardly for a couple of seconds, staring at the floor, his hands, anything really except Lily and then he finally caved in and looked at her. She looked so pitiful it made him went to do more to himself than the rough mental kick he was currently giving himself. But then again, he also was doing everything in his power to restrain himself. Holding himself back from clearing the desk in a single bound and sitting down beside her, enveloping her in his arms and telling her he had been stupid. He wanted so badly to be with her, had for a huge chunk of his life. Still, days later he couldn't quite fathom why he had done what he had. Finally she had given in to him, so why had he walked away? He squared his shoulders, drew in a breath to calm himself, he could fly at daring heights and speeds, perform any prank in the book, but when it came to Lily, he was a different person. Especially now, she sure had a way of making his head spin and his heart ache.

"I know this isn't what you want to hear," he began, but the words spewed out much too quickly for anyone to fully grasp what he was saying. After another calming breath he tried again, "I can tell how uncomfortable this is making you, so I'll try and make it as quick as possible," he waited for a response, something, but he didn't receive anything. She was a stone wall in front of him.

To his right he could see McGonagall nodding encouragingly at him, willing him onwards.

"What I'm trying to say is, don't take what I said as if it were now set in stone. Things can change. Under our circumstances though that is how I see things. Don't think for a minute that my intentions have changed though. I still want the same things I've always wanted, only now I just see I can't go about getting them the way I've previously been trying. Just remember I'm still open for what may come, but right now it can't and won't happen, and not because I don't want it to. You need to come upon things naturally, and when you do then we can talk."

He didn't wait for anyone to say anything, he just picked up his bag, nodded in McGonagall's general direction to thank her for the opportunity and then he was gone. Leaving Lily very close to tears, which she was fighting desperately to control. James didn't know if he had said enough, or even said the right things but he really didn't know what else he could have come up with. Simply put, he had done everything he could have done. So why did he still feel like he had let her and even himself down?

On the other hand, Charity and Rosalyn were fighting to contain their frustration. It was just beginning to hit them that maybe they weren't as in-the-know as they had previously thought. James speech had confused them horribly. First off, why was he there in the first place if Lily had broken things off with him? Or had she not done that and that was why she was avoiding them? Secondly, why did it sound like he would still be waiting for her when her memory came back? Wasn't it apparent to him yet that he just needed to move on. He wasn't going to get the girl. On top of all of that, what had Lily actually said to him?

Lily on the other hand had understood completely what James had been trying to say. The interpretation was ringing loud and clear in beneath her skull. He loved her, sure he had said it before but there was just something about the way he had worded it that had made it seem that much more real. It was because of that love that he was avoiding her. It was a terrible concept to choke down when one really thought of it. If he really loved her, why did he walk away? The truth was now becoming more clear to her. He didn't want her love to be fake. He felt like he deserved to be loved, fully by someone who was unconditionally in love with him, exactly the way he was about her. He didn't want her just settling for him. He simply loved her to much to allow that.

They were just going to pile it onto her it appeared, because the two girls suddenly turned and prepared to fire. Having recomposed themselves after the shock they had just received.

"All we wanted to tell you Lily was that you mean so much to us," Rosalyn began.

"And with that being said we want the best for you, but with everything that's going on we're having a hard time differentiating between what's best for you and what's best for us."

That was the point when Lily regained her voice. The control of her vocal cords, but also the power of speech and the will to fight, "Wait," she sat up a little bit straighter, "just answer me this will you. What happens if I don't get my entire memory back..."

She didn't have time to finish her though because she was rather rudely interrupted by Charity, "Don't say things like that, of course you'll get it back. You have to think positive."

Lily threw up her hands in disgust and let her have it, "I'm so tired of this let's think positive and it'll happen business. So far that hasn't exactly been working out very well. I prefer to think more realistically. What if it doesn't come back? That's not saying I don't want it to come, or I'm not trying to get it back, it's just saying realistically what is the plan if I'm like this forever? This is me, I'm Lily and you can't keep telling me what Lily would do or that I'm not her. Because if I don't get everything back this is who I'm going to be. Sure maybe my old self would be loosing sleep over how I've been handling things but this is me now. Who knows, maybe you didn't know the old me as well as you thought you did. Maybe I still think the same things, but I no longer cover them up because they wouldn't be appropriate for the life I'd spun for myself. Get used to it, because I'm still Lily and personally I don't think someone's personality can change as much as you are saying mine has. Get used to who I am, because I might not be going anywhere, and you know what, I don't think I really want to go anywhere. I like who this person is. If you can't accept that, well take it or leave it."

The sudden end to her rant caused a deafening silence to overtake the occupants of the room. Eventually McGonagall took over the reigns and tried to steer towards another touchy subject. It was rather apparent that Charity and Rosalyn were at a complete loss for words. Maybe it had finally hit them that what they thought was best for Lily maybe wasn't quite the same as what Lily thought was best for Lily. Then again, maybe it was, but who was going to say that two people, even if they had the best intentions in mind knew what was best for another person.

McGonagall on the other hand was seeing beyond the words. Lily was beginning to figure things out, things her two girlfriends didn't know about her and only her Professor did. Maybe McGonagall wouldn't have to break it to her, she'd come upon it on her own.

"Lily, what I brought you here to talk about," McGonagall dove right in, there was no more point anymore in delaying, "What I mean is, usually for someone that is in your situation we'd usually send the person away from the castle for awhile."

So she wasn't the first one the school had dealt with, that was in her situation.

"We find that being with family usually returns some of the safety and comfort with life that I fear you aren't getting here."

Wait, did McGonagall just say she was going to send her to be with her family?

"I just wanted to know if that was something you were interested in doing? If you were interested I would have to get in contact with your sister and see about making some arrangements. What I'm trying to say is, you wouldn't be out of here tonight, but in time you could get away from Hogwarts for a little bit."

Her sister, what about her parents?

"Professor?" Lily muttered rather quietly, once again she was retreating at a rapid rate back into her shell. The protection it would offer her though was still questionable.

"Yes?"

"Please be frank with me, what happened to my parents?"

There it was, the revelation McGonagall had been treading so carefully around, trying to avoid, trying to pick the best time to bring it up. It appeared though that time had taken control away from her and thrust the touchy matter right into the forefront.

"Please tell me?"

xxx

a/n I apologize that it is now Sunday instead of Friday "update day." Last week has been named Hells Week, and then my parents were in town for the weekend so I really didn't have a chance to get this chapter transferred onto the computer. I hope it was worth the wait though and that you did enjoy it. As always, please let me know anything you thought of it. Thanks to everyone that let me know their feelings about the last chapter, you guys are great. Cheers.

a/n #2 : Sorry guys, I didn't forget about you. I've been trying desperately for two weeks to update but fanfic wouldn't let me.